chapter 2. hit a nerve

One day Rias was preparing to go negotiate the usual terms and conditions for the all faction alliance, Kiba was preparing a defense squad as a plan B while Issei is plan A, Issei was by his former master's side. As Rias was going over the papers her concentration was broken after hearing a hiccup, she looked over and saw that Issei was the cause of it.

Rias walked over to him.

Issei: look, can't I just drink in peace? I want to be left alone. There's nothing else to do to pass the time while I just sit idly by during these meetings which make me anxious so just leave me to my thoughts.

Rias places a hand on his shoulder.

Rias: Issei...

Issei gives her an angry glare and grunts.

Issei: I said leave!! What part of that didn't you understand? Well Red?

Rias: Issei we're on our way to an important meeting and you're drunk?

Issei: what a brilliant observation. So to what do I owe this unwanted visit? You here to join me?

Rias: no. I'm here to stop you.

Issei: oh. Well that's boring.

Rias: Issei could you take this seriously?

Issei: I'm sorry, did i make a joke?

Rias: I'm serious. This meeting could allow us to create an all faction alliance.

Issei: you sure know how to motivate a guy, I've always been a big fan of all this. (Sarcasm)

Rias: your sarcasm isn't welcomed.

Issei: good, now you know how I feel.

Rias: so that's it? There's nothing left of the red dragon emperor, just a hostile empty drunk.

Issei: I've always been a hostile empty drunk.

Rias: no. You were a member of my team, a lot of children looked up to you.

Issei: a terrible decision really.

Rias: why? Why drink yourself to death?

Issei: bit of an over exaggeration.

Rias: is it..is it because of her....

Issei: Rias!!!!! We're not having this conversation, stop while you're ahead.

Rias: we all miss her too Issei please, you need to move on.

Issei: you have no idea what it is to "miss".

Rias: Issei if you live in the past... opportunity will pass you by.

Issei: oh yeah? Such as?

Rias grabs him by his shirt and says in a sad yet serious voice.

Rias: such as someone who loves you and wants to be with you.!! I love you Issei.

She kissed him.

Rias: Issei...I..

Issei: hehe..hope you got that out of your system.

Rias: wh..what?

Issei: what? Did you think a kiss will make me love you?

Issei gets up and leave his flask on the table.

Issei: not interested, best to love someone who loves you back. I'll go check on what Kiba is up to.

Issei moved her aside, Rias was now almost hyperventilating.

Rias: Issei I'm..not.. I'm not her..I'm not...her... I'M NOT KUROKA.

As she yelled her name, Issei stood still and didn't turn around.

Rias: I'm..worried about you...I hate seeing you like this...so I pressed him for answers. He informed me about your secret relationship with your wife....well...ex-wife.

Issei:.....

Rias: general Kiba didn't go beyond your true relationship. He wouldn't even tell me why your relationship was kept secret. To know that you felt such anguish, to pretend that you were just friends with her all these years, pretending that she's your friend's wife. I can't imagine what you went through but Issei it's been 15 years since her passing. This isn't healthy behavior, fighting and drinking, you drifted away from us. We're worried about you, can't you see that? If you keep this up then you'll die and if so then what's the point of you fighting only to die?

Rias hugs her arms in an attempt to comfort herself and to keep her tears from falling.

Rias: Kuroka wouldn't want you to live like this, she would want you to move on and be happy. I love you Issei and even if you don't feel the same I still want to see you smile genuinely again and to not tip toe around you worried about setting you off by saying her name or hurt you.

Rias then raises her voice a bit and slowly the tears fell little by little.

Rias: if you just let me in I could be there for you, I'd never leave you like she did, I would spend every minute loving you. You could heal and move on if you would only give me the chance, I will be here and that's what you need right now Issei.

Issei: Rias.

Issei says her name in a calm tone, he takes a deep breath then let's it out slowly. He quickly turns to her and looks at her with a crazy smile and wide eyes.

Issei: Well! Look at you, you surprise me, when did the ruin princess start speaking her mind huh? I have to say, this was the last thing I expected. Kiba is sharing my PERSONAL and INTIMATE information and you have the nerve to confront me about it. Fucking fantastic.

Rias backs away and is scared of him now.

Rias: I..I.

Issei: oh come now, you spoke with such FIRE a moment ago, you can't retreat now not after throwing such a strong passionate declaration at me.

Rias: you...you..

Issei: I?

Rias: you don't look like yourself.

Issei: oh, well that aside, you completely have my attention ruin princess, now I'm not sure if you fully understand that this conversation should desist. Now.

Rias: Issei.... Kuroka was an amazing woman but she was careless, a woman of her caliber shouldn't be taken out so easily, I wouldn't.

Issei: I..see.. well Rias good luck if you find yourself in such a situation. Kuroka...my little hell cat was the strongest woman I ever knew and death took her all the same. Be careful you don't choke on those words some day.

Rias: it..it could happen to anyone. Kuroka wasn't a super devil, she made a stupid mistake...

Issei: YOU know what? You keep surprising me! As a Gremory I figured you would be all knowing about death and destruction but that's not true apparently. Despite warning you continue to tread on private, touchy topics.

Issei's eyes were now green from rage as compared to his calming brown.

Issei: don't know when you're walking on thin ice huh Gremory?

Rias: Iss..

Issei: SILENCE.

Issei closed his eyes and held his head as if he had a migraine.

Issei: nothing pisses me off more when people say "she would want you to", "she wouldn't want you to drink so much". On the contrary, hell cat and I drank together all the time so NO I HIGHLY doubt that Rias. If I hear any one say that phrase one more time then you'll know what TRUE death and destruction really is ruin princess and right now you're hitting the tip of the iceberg that is my unyielding rage. Do any of you know how pretentious you all sound? How...would you have ANY IDEA ON WHAT MY WIFE WOULD WANT, HUH? HOW?

Rias: Issei ..I..

Issei: oh JUST SPARE ME.

Rias backs away.

Issei: you little princess have no right to weigh in on that event, you never even really knew anything about her. I lost her before you even thought about getting to know her during my time with her. You LOVE me? HAHAHA, DON'T CONFUSE ANY MISGUIDED ADORATION FOR ME AS "LOVE".

Rias: Issei.

He continues to yell.

Issei: you don't know me, you never really knew me, how could you possibly love me? you used me for my power to free yourself from Riser and now you say that "you're" what I need. Damn you're cocky. Don't flatter yourself. I know what you all say behind closed doors, how you 'love' to prattle on about my 'recovery', questioning my sanity and stability, WELL WHO FUCKING ASKED YOU? It's JUST SO EASY FOR YOU ALL TO LOOK AT ME LIKE MY WINGS HAVE BEEN CLIPPED. Giving me your "I'm sorry" LIP SERVICE THEN SUDDENLY EXPECT ME TO PLAY 'CATCH UP'....my hell cat is GONE, DEAD and she's never coming back home to me, how can you ask me to just move on from that? How can you expect me to leave her memory behind? HOW? Well I am DONE. IM DONE WITH ALL OF YOU SO KEEP YOUR HOLLOW APOLOGIES, LEAVE ME ALONE, LET ME GRIEVE, LET ME MOURN MY FOREVER LOST LOVE.

Kiba is listening from behind a wall.

Rias: o.oh..what about those women you spend your nights with? Are you mourning her then too?

Issei: oh I'm so SORRY for having needs like everyone else. I don't love those women, I don't cherish their company more than a single night. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her, my thoughts are consumed by her, I love her more than anything and there's no room left in my heart for anyone else. No one can ever take her place so don't you fucking mock me princess, Kuroka HYOUDO is the only one I love DEAD OR ALIVE, she's the only one I could ever really love so you're right, you're NOT her and that is the FUCKING PROBLEM.

Issei walks closer.

Issei: is that what you want Rias? A one night stand is all I have left for any other woman.

Rias: s..stay..

Issei: I've had enough of you and that damned Kiba after betraying my trust in him.

Issei moved his hand forward.

Rias: STAY BACK YOU MONSTER!

Kiba rushed in.

Kiba: ISSEI DON'T YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON HER.

Issei: hahaha.

Issei looked at Kiba with the same crazy look with tears in his eyes.

Issei: well well Kiba, welcome. I was wondering when you were going to stop hiding.

Kiba: Issei, step away from her right this second. If you touch her..

Issei deadpanned.

Issei: huh? What are you talking about? I'm just grabbing my flask.

He grabs it and finished the whiskey completely. He looks to Rias and she was visibly scared and says in a calm broken voice and broken smile.

Issei: so Rias, you still want to love a 'monster' like me? Someone as unhinged as me?

She looks down.

Issei: yeah...I didn't think so....I can't leave her...I can't...move on... I can't risk loving again. My wife was killed for reasons I don't know but she left something behind that I hold dear more than anything and that's the one thing that connects us, connected our spirits and proof of the life we share.I won't leave any of that behind....

Issei looks at the empty flask while no longer holding back his tears.

Issei: you have...no idea what it means to be me, just out of touch from everything you have left after your soul mate has been taken and being powerless to help. That's my curse, I should have been there for her, I should have been my her side like she has been from the beginning..I LET HER DIE ALONE AND I CANT EVEN IMAGINE HOW SHE DIED, WAS SHE TORTURED? HOW SCARED WAS SHE? SHE PROBABLY CALLED OUT TO ME AGAIN AND AGAIN BEFORE DYING AND IT HAUNTS ME EVERY DAY AND EVERY NIGHT. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT SHE WENT THROUGH ALL ALONE FOR DEAD GOD KNOWS HOW LONG!

Issei then looks at Rias.

Issei: now I ask you not to talk about her like that ever again, are we clear?

Rias:...yes.

Issei: good...now then, KIBA. I think we need to chat don't you?

He looks at Kiba with high killing intent. Kiba went pale. All 3 are powerful but Issei being a dragon is the embodiment of rage and power, that alone made him more dangerous than Kiba and Rias.

Kiba: Issei...I

Issei: outside. NOW!

They step outside and all the while Kiba's instincts were telling him to run. Once outside...

Kiba: Issei....I never thought that she would share that information let alone confront you about it.

Issei: is that why you did it? Because you didn't think?

Kiba: well..when you put it that way..

Issei: sounds pretty stupid right?

Kiba:....

Issei: after you swore to secrecy, you went and ran your big mouth to her..

Kiba: she was worried about you, I only gave her the bare minimum to satisfy her and I'm sorry for my lack of discretion I showed. I never wanted to re-open old wounds. I'm not sure why I told Rias, it was a mistake and a horrid one, she won't say a word though, your love life with Kuroka will remain a secret, I'm sorry for OOFF!!

Issei pinned Kiba to the wall and had his gauntlet claws to his throat. Kiba saw the look of stone cold murder in Issei's eyes and could feel Ddraig glaring at him as well from the boosted gear.

Issei: oh we are far beyond apologies you sword loving fuck, you will listen to me now. I. Don't. Trust. You. Not one damn bit and now I know that you crack under the pressure of one pushy girl, it makes me want to tear out your organs and put them back in through your mouth.

Kiba was scared to no end.

Kiba: I..Issei please.

Issei: BE. QUIET. The knowledge that she and I were married was NOT for MY benefit you medal spangled shit. Why did you think we kept it a secret? That's because a LIFE IS ON THE LINE, WE ARE TRYING TO PROTECT SOMEONE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. To. Us. So tell me Kiba, WHY CAN'T YOU KEEP IT A SECRET? BECAUSE YOUR INDISCRETIONS WILL KILL HER. THIS IS THE ONE THING I ASK OF YOU EVEN AFTER IT WAS YOU SENT HER OUT THERE ALONE. WHY? DO YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ME? DO YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH? WHAT DID I FUCKING DO TO MAKE YOU DO THIS??!!

Kiba: Issei..

Issei: NO MORE PLEASE NO MORE. DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD TO ANYONE. UNDERSTAND?!!

Kiba: y.yes i..had no..

Issei let's go and fixes Kiba's jacket.

Issei: good, now be a good general and stick to your orders.

Issei begins to walk away.

Kiba: hey where are you going?

Issei: to rest, you two completely drained me.

Kiba: ... You're still sick, you should have never been discharged from the psyche ward if you're still this upset.!!!

Issei: yeah.... probably ...or maybe you need to stop pulling in that specific sensitive nerve.. jackass.

Kiba goes to check on Rias and finds her sitting on the floor, he doesn't have the words, no apology could help. This was his fault.

Issei went to a different room and sat on a chair.

Issei: fucking hell.

His phone rings and it's Vali.

Issei: hey Vali, what's up?

Vali: I put her to bed but she's having a bad dream again and I can't seem to help in any way.

Issei: hold the phone to her ear.

Vali does as he's asked. Issei starts singing a lullaby and it calms her down instantly. He really is her father but too bad she doesn't know.