Chapter seven

Present day

Billie's POV:

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I can't believe this is happening. My arms wrap tightly around Isabelle. My eyes spill the tears that I held, with each drop comes a memory, another tear falls as they all collide into a stream running down my face.

I don't want to pull away from her, the warmth she radiates burning a hole through my chest, but I need to see her face again. See that it's really her, in all her glory.

I gently pull away, my hands finding there place on her wet cheeks.

I brush a few stray tears away, but alike to mine there is a stream of many.

I wish I could tell her it's okay and I'm here now, my poor angel. However, I need to keep my distance, metaphorically speaking. I don't know if there is someone special in her life and I can't make this more difficult.

There is someone in mine. Although not the way it would be if it was Isabelle. Trent, he is a nice guy but there's no pure love. We do have a connection though, and I don't want to hurt him, at least not yet. He's been good to me, and I didn't know Izzy was even an option.

Fuck what am I saying. She isn't an option.

"Hi" her sweet voice says, pulling me from my thoughts. I realise I was staring, ugh nice one Billie.

"Hi" I repeat back to her.

She looks good, healthy. Beautiful, as I remember.

She still has her long brown her, but her body is more mature, more defined.

Oh my lord, hot.

Looking back into her eyes, I smile.

"What are you doing here?" Izzy questions. I give a slight giggle.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you're meant to be interviewing me?" I chuckle.

Izzy's POV:

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you're meant to be interviewing me?"

I internally curse myself. Of course I am, how stupid. I meant how are we finally seeing each other after all this time.

I pull away, and take a step back from Billie.

"Ahem" I clear my throat. I think I see a flash of disappointment as I remove my body creating space between us again, but I shake it off.

She is probably really busy and I need to get on with my job.

"Right - yes I am" I move over to my iPad on the table and pick it up. I take a seat on the couch and gesture for Billie to do the same.

I can't think straight.

The green haired girl walks over and takes a seat on the couch next me. She turns her body so that her arm is resting on the top of the couch and her leg is under her, whilst her body is completely facing me.

I sneak a glance at Finn who is chatting with Brian and making faces at us both. Brian knows everything about Billie and I, sometimes he was the one carrying me to bed when I fell asleep on the couch, he would notice my eyes were red and puffy from having a bad day. Each morning he would ask how I was feeling and one day my whole story came gushing out. He has always been there for me and understood my hardships.

I don't doubt they are talking about us.

I pull myself back to the job at hand, opening my iPad to the questions my boss sent over to me for Billie.

As I tap the screen I can see Billie playing with her rings nervously, something she always did, even if there wasn't as many as there are now.

I look up to her face, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she stares off into the distance.

I can't help but wonder what she is thinking

Is she nervous?

No, surely not. This is Billie Eilish, she does this shit all the time. Sure, I don't know Billie Eilish too much, but I do know Billie.

There is something about this interview, I can't bring myself to start reciting what is in front of me.

My hearts is tearing but being put together all at the same time.

I take one of her shaking hands in mine. Her eyes quickly snap over to me.

"Bil" I say shyly, she nods and removes her lip from her teeth.

"I know I don't have any right to ask this" my gaze anchoring on my lap, then flicking to our linked hands.

How I've missed the feeling of our fingers touching.

I need to know....

"How are you?" I simple question, but one that has been burning for four years. I can't hold it any longer. I know it's something that is asked daily to her, but never by me, and I want to know, I need to know.

Tell me you're okay

"I-I" She stutters, my thumb absentmindedly runs circles along the back of her hand, soothing her.

Her crystal blue eyes boring into my soul.

"I'm okay" she states. Somehow I really can't  believe that, but I don't push it.

"Okay, we can start the interview now. I needed to know, I'm sorry if I overstepped"

My stomach tightens, I feel like maybe I shouldn't have asked now.

Billie nods in reply, looking like she is hiding a truck full of emotions.

I take a breath and start to read the questions out.

They are all the same types she has been asked numerous times, even I am bored with these questions. However having her voice answer them, is something I will never get used too. I notice her staring at me, more often than not.

I get it though, someone who was whisked away from you and you haven't heard from them in four years, turns up to do an interview on you. It's like returning from the dead I guess.

I saw her all these years; either on tv or magazines, but she has never once seen me.

It must be strange.

The interview finishes and now Finneas is seated with us, as I had a few questions for him too.

Finn and I chat for a little bit, about life and school. I explain that I am studying journalism and how I got my job at the New York Times. He seems blown away with how much I work and study. I don't say too much about boarding school, which I know is a touchy subject for Billie and I.

Billie has been staring at me and then at nothing the whole time. She hasn't said a single word, just some nodding here and there. Finn tells me about their career and some highlights like touring.

I go silent for a couple of moments which Finneas notices.

"Izzy, are you okay?" He questions.

I nod slightly but then shake my head. Billie notices this and subtly moves closer to me so our legs are touching. I close my eyes at the sudden warmth radiating through my body, a touch so simple but something I have missed.

I open my eyes again looking at Finneas. He gives me a look of encouragement.

"Uh- I- " I stutter. Spit it out Izzy.

"How is my family?" I ask, tears brimming my eyes again.

Billie snaps her head at me, confusion written all over her face, same with Finneas.

Uh fuck, I guess my parents have kept it very much a secret that I don't talk to them anymore.

"You don't talk to them" Billie states more than questions. In a monotone voice.

I shake my head, no.

"No" i let a single tear slip from my eye. I wipe it quickly though. I've told myself so many times those people do not deserve my tears for what they did to me.

"I cut them off, a year after they shipped me to board-" I stopped myself. The pain seeping through my body again at the memories.

"No" I repeat, letting that by my final answer.

"I'm sorry Izzy" Finneas says.

"They are fine though" he shrugs

"We don't really talk anymore either to be honest" I listen intently, sounds like there is a hidden back story there too, I want to know more. So I give a quizzical look towards them both.

"Our parents cut them off " Billie shrugs.

"They couldn't understand why they did such a thing to you and didn't agree, so they stopped talking and told us we weren't allowed to speak with them either" her eyes cold and hard. There was definitely more to this.

As I open my mouth to question it, a man walks through the door. He gives a strained smile and taps his watch.

I guess this is Billie's manager, implying we have gone over our time.

"Sorry, that's my manager" she confirms to me.

My heart pulls apart, and I can feel the lump in my throat grow larger. How can I go back to the way things were and not see her again.

My body tenses and Billie notices.

"Hey, this isn't goodbye" her hand resting on mine again.

I give her a shy smile and move my hair behind my ear.

The three of us stand up. Finneas hugging me first.

I turn to look at Billie, her hand outstretched. I raise my brow in question.

"May I please have your phone?" I take it out of my bag that was on the table and hand it to her without question.

She enters her number and give it back to me.

I step forward and embrace her for what feels like way too little of time.

Her manager clears his throat and she pulls away.

"Text me" she says, and I nod.

I watch her leave, once she gets closer to the door she turns back to look at me, drinking me in as if hoping I am not a dream she is about to wake up from.

I sigh and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Wow

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