Chapter 78

Faye

Resigning should feel like relief.

And in many ways, it does.

But relief doesn't mean rest.

Since I turned in my resignation letter, my days have been filled with transition work—handing over my files, preparing final reports, and ensuring my classes are left in good hands.

For the first time in months, I walk through MeowingHam High without thinking about next week's lessons, students' essays, or school meetings. 

Instead, I'm sorting through folders of literature notes, closing out emails, and training the new teacher who will be taking over some of my responsibilities.

It's... strange.

This school has been my home for so long that leaving it behind feels both liberating and unsettling.

But I remind myself—this is a good thing. A necessary thing. I want to move forward.

And Yoko?

She's just as busy as I am—though her version of busy involves balancing shifts at the café, overthinking her final exam results, and freaking out about her university application.

Which, honestly? It's adorable.

"What if I don't get in?" she whined the other day, flopping onto my couch like a dramatic heroine in distress.

"Then we riot," I replied smoothly, scrolling through my laptop.

She groaned, burying her face into a pillow. "Faye, I'm serious."

"So am I."

"You're impossible."

"And you love it."

She threw a cushion at me. I caught it—without even looking up.

I love this girl.

But if she overthinks her university application one more time, I might have to physically drag her away from her laptop and force her to relax.

It's not like I'm worried. I know how brilliant she is. Her grades are solid, her portfolio is impressive, and she has the drive of someone who deserves to be at Edinburgh.

She just needs to see that for herself.

And soon, she will.

Because every day that passes brings her closer to her results—closer to her acceptance letter—closer to a life where we don't have to hide anymore.

I glance at my desk, where my own future is slowly taking shape.

My Edinburgh application sits in my email drafts, waiting for the perfect moment to hit send.

Yoko doesn't know.

Not yet.

I smirk to myself, leaning back in my chair.

Let her stress about her university for now.

She has no idea how perfectly things are falling into place.

...

If stress had a physical form, it would be Yoko Apasra pacing circles in my living room, clutching her phone like it holds the secrets of the universe.

"It's not even out yet," I remind her for the tenth time, my voice steady as I watch her march across the floor like she's preparing for battle.

"You don't know that!" she snaps, whirling around so dramatically that she nearly trips over the coffee table. "Maybe they released it early! Maybe my email is delayed! Maybe the system is down, and I'll never get my results and—"

"Oh my god," Engfa groans dramatically, sprawled out on my couch with a glass of wine at ten in the morning. "For someone who just aced her exams, you're acting like you just committed academic fraud."

"I might as well have!" Yoko yells, turning so sharply that I have to grab her waist before she starts pacing again.

"Baby," I coo, guiding her to sit beside me. "Breathe."

She huffs but listens, sinking onto the couch, still clutching her phone in a death grip.

I sigh, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Let's be realistic. You studied non-stop. You revised until your brain was ready to combust. You knew your exam answers. You're going to be fine."

"But what if—"

"Nope." I press a finger to her lips. "No more 'what ifs.' Just facts."

Engfa, who has been watching our exchange like a live soap opera, snorts loudly. "I swear to god, you two are disgustingly cute. It's making my single ass sick."

Yoko shoots her a glare. "Nobody asked you."

"Nobody has to," Engfa grins, taking another sip of wine. "My commentary is a gift."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, sighing. "Engfa, why are you drinking this early?"

"I'm celebrating in advance," she says, gesturing vaguely at Yoko. "Because my dumb little sister here is going to kill it. And if she doesn't? Well—" she shrugs, "I'll still be drunk enough to deal with it."

I shake my head.

Yoko groans into my shoulder, her voice muffled against my sleeve. "This is torture. Why does it take so long?!"

I chuckle, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "Because they know people like you exist, and they like to watch you suffer."

"You're supposed to support me," she whines, looking up at me with those big, dramatic brown eyes.

"I am," I tease, kissing her forehead. "But watching you like this is kind of entertaining."

"You are the worst."

"And yet, you love me."

She groans. "I hate that you're right."

Before I can respond, her phone vibrates.

The room goes silent. Engfa pauses mid-drink. Yoko stiffens, her breath catching as she stares at the screen.

The email has arrived.

This is it.

"Baby," I say patiently, watching Yoko clutch her phone like it might explode. "Open it."

"No," she says immediately.

I exhale through my nose. "Yoko."

She shakes her head so fast I'm worried she'll give herself whiplash. "Nope. I can't. I literally cannot. This is my entire future, Faye."

"Oh my god," Engfa groans from the couch, flinging an arm over her face. "Just open the damn email."

"You don't understand!" Yoko cries, hugging the phone to her chest like a lifeline. "What if I failed?"

Engfa blinks at her. Then, very slowly, she gestures to the entire room. "Failed what?"

"My exams! What if I bombed Chemistry?"

"You studied for that like a possessed nerd," Engfa deadpans. "Your chemistry teacher literally said 'See you at graduation' before you even took the damn paper."

"But what if—"

"Yoko," I cut in, calm, steady, using my best literature teacher voice. "The email is already here. Your fate is sealed."

She whimpers dramatically. "I hate that phrasing."

I sigh. "You know you passed. Just look at it, love."

"No."

"Yoko—"

"NO."

I sigh deeply, rubbing my temples. "Fine. Give it to me."

She yelps, clutching the phone tighter. "NO!"

Engfa, who has had enough of this ridiculous back-and-forth, leans forward sharply. "Alright. That's it. If you don't open it, I WILL."

"Seconded," I add.

"You can't," Yoko argues, horrified. "It's MY results!"

"Then OPEN IT," Engfa snaps, already grabbing for the phone.

Yoko screams dramatically, scrambling onto the couch to escape her. 

The entire living room dissolves into absolute chaos.

Engfa lunges. Yoko dodges. I, the only reasonable person here, step in and steal the phone with ease.

"Okay," I say, holding it up. "Let's see what Yoko got."

"FAYE!" Yoko wails, crawling towards me in despair.

Engfa, completely unbothered, leans over my shoulder. "Go on, babe. Let's check."

"Don't you DARE," Yoko threatens.

I smirk. "I don't know, love. I'm feeling curious."

She gasps, reaching for the phone. "NO!"

Too late. Engfa and I are already acting like we're Yoko.

I clear my throat, mimicking Yoko's voice perfectly. "Dear Yoko Apasra, we are pleased to inform you that—"

"STOP IT!"

Engfa joins in, adopting an overly dramatic, posh British accent. "You have FAILED ALL SUBJECTS. Please return to high school IMMEDIATELY."

"OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!"

Yoko lunges, but I dodge smoothly.

"This is abuse!" she cries. "I AM BEING BULLIED IN MY OWN GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE!"

"Then open the email," I say sweetly, tilting my head.

She glares, breathing heavily. "Fine," she huffs, snatching the phone back. "I'LL LOOK."

Engfa and I immediately go deadpan, handing it over like we weren't about to do it for her.

Yoko gulps. She taps. She opens.

Silence.

She stares at the screen. Engfa and I lean forward at the same time.

"Well?" Engfa demands.

Yoko blinks. Then again.

I grab her wrist gently, my voice softer now. "Baby?"

And that's when her face breaks into the brightest, happiest smile.

The moment Yoko's face splits into that brilliant, blinding smile, I already know—but I still lean forward, because I need to see it with my own eyes.

Engfa, on the other hand, is not waiting.

"WHAT? WHAT IS IT?!" she demands, practically climbing over the couch.

Yoko laughs—a breathless, shaky sound, like she can't believe it herself. She turns her phone around.

And there it is.

Straight As, every single subject, even Calculus, even fucking Chemistry.

For two solid seconds, no one says anything.

Then—

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, LET'S GO!!!" Engfa screams, flinging herself off the couch like she's just won the lottery.

I let out a breathless laugh, already pulling Yoko into my arms. "Baby," I whisper against her hair, my hands cradling her face as she laughs into my chest, still in shock.

Engfa is literally running around the living room, hands in the air. "TOP STUDENT ENERGY! LOOK AT OUR GIRL!"

Yoko bursts out laughing, hiding her face against my neck. "Oh my god, please stop—"

"NEVER!" Engfa spins dramatically, grabbing Yoko's phone and squinting at the screen. "No way. No. Fucking. Way. YOU GOT AN A FOR CALCULUS?"

Yoko grins. "I DID!"

Engfa gasps, clutching her heart like she's about to faint. "MATHEMATICAL GENIUS! WHO IS SHE? I DON'T KNOW HER!"

I laugh, squeezing Yoko's waist. "I always told you, love. You're brilliant."

Yoko beams, cheeks flushed. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

"BELIEVE IT!" Engfa grabs her shoulders, shaking her playfully. "YOU ALSO GOT AN A FOR LITERATURE! YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S SUBJECT! SHE'S GONNA BE UNBEARABLE!"

I smirk, crossing my arms. "Oh, absolutely. I demand a written analysis of why I'm the best girlfriend, in perfect MLA format, due by midnight."

Yoko groans, throwing her head back. "Faye, no!"

Engfa cackles, already grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her. "LITERATURE QUEEN! THE FUTURE SHAKESPEARE! OH MY GOD, I AM SO PROUD!"

"STOPPP," Yoko wails, but she's laughing too hard to be serious.

I shake my head, amused, watching as Yoko gets tackled into another dramatic hug by Engfa, the two of them yelling nonsense while rolling across the couch.

Then, I step forward, gently pulling Yoko back to me. She looks up, breathless, eyes shining.

And I just smile, tilting her chin up. "I am so, so proud of you, baby."

Yoko's lips tremble slightly, like the weight of everything finally hits her. Then she throws herself at me, burying her face into my neck.

And I just hold her, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to her temple, feeling the way her whole body melts against mine.

"You did it, love," I murmur. "You did it."

...

If I thought Engfa's chaos levels were at max capacity earlier, I was wrong.

Because now? Now, she's strutting around the living room, hands on her hips, shaking her head like a proud old professor, as if she was the one who tutored Yoko through hell and back.

"LOOK AT YOKO!" she booms, pointing dramatically at Yoko, who is still grinning ear to ear. "I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, MY DISCIPLE. YOU HAVE SURPASSED EVEN MY EXPECTATIONS."

Yoko bursts out laughing, shaking her head. "YOU ARE NOT MY TEACHER!"

"AND YET, HERE I AM, RADIATING IMMENSE PRIDE!"

I snort, watching Engfa go on like she's about to give a whole damn graduation speech. "You do realise I'm actually her teacher, right?"

Engfa waves me off. "Irrelevant."

I laugh, shaking my head just as Yoko's phone buzzes loudly in her hand. A FaceTime request from Ink.

Yoko gasps, instantly accepting. "INK!"

"BITCH!" Ink's face appears on the screen, her voice already reaching the heavens. "HOW DID IT GO?!"

Yoko tilts the phone, grinning. "STRAIGHT A's, INK! EVEN CALCULUS! EVEN CHEMISTRY!"

Ink screams so loudly that for a second, I swear my eardrums might shatter.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, YOKO!" Ink practically shakes her phone. "I'M SO PROUD! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! I TOLD YOU! I FUCKING TOLD YOU!"

Yoko laughs, cheeks flushed from excitement. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!"

I lean over, making sure I'm visible on the screen. "Congrats to you too, Ink," I say, smiling. "How were your results?"

Ink grins. "A's for everything except Chemistry."

"Still amazing," I say, genuinely impressed.

Ink smirks. "Obviously. I am incredible."

Engfa, who had been minding her own business—barely—suddenly leans over my shoulder, squinting at the screen. "Who's this?"

Yoko snorts, turning the phone slightly. "This is Ink—my best friend, my ride or die."

Engfa grins, nodding approvingly. "Ah. And she's your classmate?"

"Yep."

Then Engfa deadpans, eyes flicking to me. "Wait." She tilts her head. "Faye."

I sigh. "Yes?"

"That means she's also your student."

I smirk. "Correct."

Engfa narrows her eyes. "Then why are you so open about this?"

I just chuckle, crossing my arms. "She knows."

Ink cackles through the phone. "Of course I fucking know! I knew before anyone else did!"

Engfa lets out an exaggerated gasp, placing a hand over her chest like she's just heard the biggest scandal of the year. "THE DRAMA! THE SECRECY! THE REVEAL!"

Ink laughs. "Engfa, right? Yoko's told me about you."

Engfa grins, leaning forward dramatically. "Only good things, I hope?"

Ink raises an eyebrow. "Debatable."

Yoko bursts out laughing, nearly dropping her phone.

And I just shake my head, watching as Engfa and Ink immediately begin roasting each other like they've been best friends for years.

Yep. This is going to be a long, chaotic, hilarious friendship.

...

With the chaos finally dying down, Yoko has now plopped herself in front of my laptop, staring at her university application like it's a ticking time bomb.

I smirk, arms crossed, watching her hesitate. "You do know that glaring at the screen won't magically submit the application for you, right?"

Yoko huffs, leaning back dramatically in the chair. "It might."

Beside me, Engfa snorts. "Yeah, and maybe if you stare long enough, they'll email you an acceptance letter out of fear."

Yoko shoots her a look. "You're supposed to be supportive."

"I am supportive," Engfa grins. "I'm supporting the fact that you're being a coward right now."

Yoko groans, turning her dramatic suffering eyes toward me, silently begging for help. 

I just raise an eyebrow. "You survived finals and Allison's mess, but this application is what finally breaks you?"

"That's different!" Yoko whines, sinking further into the chair. "Once I click submit, there's no turning back! No undo button!"

Engfa throws her hands up. "IT'S AN APPLICATION, NOT A MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE—"

I choke on air.

Yoko flushes violently, immediately slapping Engfa's arm. "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"

Engfa cackles. "What? I'm just saying, there's literally nothing stopping you from applying. You're acting like this is some huge, life-changing decision—oh wait, it actually is!"

I sigh, rubbing my temples. "You're not helping, Fa."

"I am helping," she grins. "I'm adding pressure."

Yoko groans again, turning back to the screen, fingers hovering over the submit button like it's the biggest decision of her life.

I roll my eyes before leaning down, wrapping my arms lightly around her shoulders from behind. "Baby," I murmur softly, lips brushing against her ear, "Just submit it."

She shivers slightly, her fingers twitching on the trackpad. "What if I get rejected?"

"You won't," I assure her easily.

"And if I do?"

"Then they clearly have no taste," I say without missing a beat.

Engfa bursts out laughing. "Oh my God, I hate how that's actually true—"

I ignore her, pressing a kiss against Yoko's temple. "You've worked so hard for this, love. You've done everything you could. It's time to send it off and trust yourself."

Yoko takes a deep breath, staring at the screen for a few more seconds.

Then—

Click.

The screen refreshes with a bright confirmation message, Your application has been submitted.

Silence.

Then, Yoko screams.

Engfa and I jump back in alarm as she suddenly slaps the laptop shut and falls onto the desk like she's lost all will to live.

"OH MY GOD, I DID IT, I ACTUALLY DID IT," she groans into her arms. "I CAN'T TAKE IT BACK. IT'S DONE. IT'S SENT. IT'S GONE INTO THE VOID—"

Engfa howls with laughter. "WOW. Fantastic work, scholar! Submitting an application like it's some forbidden dark ritual!"

Yoko whips her head up, glaring. "SHUT UP, THIS IS A BIG DEAL!"

I chuckle, reaching down to run my fingers through her hair soothingly. "It is a big deal," I agree softly. "And I'm so proud of you."

Yoko softens, her lips parting slightly at my words.

Engfa claps her hands together. "Alright, so...now that our little academic has officially sold her soul to higher education, what's next?"

Yoko blinks. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, are we celebrating? Drinking? Partying? Breaking into the university to personally guarantee your admission?" Engfa lists off. 

"Or—" she grins wickedly "—are you and Ms Peraya gonna somewhere and...celebrate in your own way?"

Yoko explodes. "ENGFA!"

I just smirk, entirely unfazed. "You'd be wise to stay out of my personal affairs, Fa."

Engfa laughs even harder. "Alright, alright, I'll stop...for now."

Yoko groans, covering her face. "I hate both of you."

I lean down, pressing a lingering kiss to her cheek. "And yet, you love us anyway."

Yoko mumbles something incoherent under her breath, but I catch the smile on her lips.

Now that she's officially submitted the application, she's more relaxed—which means it's time for me and Engfa to mess with her.

I lean back, crossing my arms. "So, baby," I hum, "are you ready for the hell that is first-year university professors?"

Yoko gives me a flat look. "...Why do you sound like you're about to emotionally prepare me for war?"

Engfa leans forward, grinning wickedly. "Because we are."

I smirk, already feeling the gossip session bubbling up. "Let's start with the bad ones."

Yoko groans. "Oh my God, do I want to know?"

Engfa snorts. "You need to know."

I nod, completely serious. "Let's start with Professor Andrews."

Engfa howls. "OH MY GOD, YES—THE ONE WHO NEVER MARKED OUR ESSAYS ON TIME!"

I roll my eyes dramatically. "I swear, it took an entire semester just to get feedback."

Yoko gapes. "WHAT—"

Engfa slaps her thigh. "And then there was Professor Alexander—the one who literally told me 'just figure it out' when I asked him about an assignment!"

Yoko wheezes. "You're lying."

"I WISH I WAS!" Engfa yells.

I shake my head. "And let's not forget the terrifying one."

Yoko looks at me, confused. "Who—"

"Vanessa Evans," Engfa and I say in perfect unison.

Yoko pouts immediately. "She's not even at Edinburgh anymore!"

I arch an eyebrow, amused. "Are you actually sad that Vanessa Evans isn't teaching there?"

Yoko huffs. "I was excited to be her student one day!"

Engfa wheezes. "YOU WANTED TO SUFFER?"

"Not suffer! Just...be mentored by her," Yoko grumbles, crossing her arms.

I grin, shaking my head. "You do realise she would've torn your essays apart with zero remorse, right?"

Yoko scowls. "I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED."

Engfa laughs so hard she falls off the couch. "Oh my God, she's such a nerd."

Yoko glares at both of us. "I regret everything. I should've submitted my application to a different university."

I lean in, kissing her lightly. "Too late for that, love."

Yoko sighs, defeated, but I can see the smile tugging at her lips.

And honestly? I wouldn't trade this moment for anything.

Engfa stretches, standing up. "Well, that was fun, but I have actual attorney things to do."

I tilt my head. "You do?"

She scoffs. "Excuse you, I'm very busy and important."

Yoko snorts. "Says the person who has been lounging on Faye's couch all morning—"

"OKAY, TIME TO GO," Engfa announces, speed-walking to the door.

I shake my head, amused. "Thanks for coming, Fa."

She waves a hand dismissively. "Whatever, whatever—just don't forget to invite me to the wedding when you two finally decide to stop pretending you're not already married."

Yoko short-circuits again. "GET OUT."

Engfa cackles all the way down the hallway.

I just chuckle, closing the door behind her before turning back to my now incredibly embarrassed girlfriend.

"So," I hum, crossing my arms. "Do we want to celebrate?"

Yoko glares. "If you say anything like Engfa just did, I swear to God—"

I laugh, raising my hands in surrender. "I meant dinner, my love. A nice, quiet dinner to celebrate your perfect results and the fact that you're about to become a university student."

Yoko pouts, cheeks still slightly pink. "...Okay. That sounds nice."

I smile, stepping closer, tilting her chin up with my fingers. "Good," I murmur, pressing a soft kiss against her lips.

She melts immediately, sighing into the kiss before mumbling, "I love you."

"I love you too," I whisper, pressing my forehead against hers.

And for the first time in a long while, everything just feels...right.

...

The restaurant I take Yoko to is one of my favourites—a quiet, intimate spot tucked away in the city, dim lighting, warm wood interiors, and the soft hum of jazz playing in the background. It's the perfect place to celebrate, away from the usual chaos that follows us around.

Yoko's eyes light up the moment we step in, taking in the cozy yet sophisticated ambience. "Wow," she breathes, glancing around. "This is really nice."

I smirk, pulling out a chair for her. "Only the best for my girl."

She flushes, ducking her head slightly as she sits down. I take my seat across from her, watching as she scans the menu with that same adorable concentration she always has when she's deciding on food.

"What are you getting?" I ask, already knowing she's debating between two things.

Yoko groans, dragging a hand down her face. "I don't know! Everything looks so good!"

I chuckle. "Get both."

She gasps. "Faye. That's so irresponsible."

I raise an eyebrow. "Is it? Or is it simply a life well-lived?"

Yoko deadpans. "You're terrible."

"And yet, you love me."

She huffs, but I see the way her lips twitch upward. "Unfortunately."

I chuckle, setting my menu down. The waiter arrives, and we place our orders—Yoko giving in and getting both of her choices while I opt for something simple, knowing I'll end up stealing from her plate anyway.

As we wait for our food, the conversation flows effortlessly, the same way it always does when we're together. 

We talk about everything and nothing all at once—from her university application stress to Engfa's never-ending chaos to the fact that she still hasn't gotten over her Calculus trauma.

And then—

"Tomorrow's the graduation ceremony," Yoko says, swirling the drink in her hand. She tilts her head slightly, watching me carefully. "Are you nervous?"

I blink. "Why would I be?"

She shrugs. "I mean...you'll officially be done with MeowingHam High. You'll be walking in as a teacher and walking out as just—" she pauses, smirking, "—a regular civilian."

I roll my eyes. "That's a dramatic way to put it, but sure."

She grins. "And there's also the fact that some teachers might already know about us."

I hum, leaning in slightly. "Then just fucking roll with it."

Yoko snorts, shaking her head. "Wow, such a role model."

"Always," I smirk, lifting my glass slightly before taking a sip.

The rest of dinner is spent in easy, quiet joy, soaking in the moment, indulging in good food, and just being together. No stress. No secrets. Just us.

By the time we leave the restaurant, the night air is cool and crisp, a soft breeze brushing against our skin as I lead her back to the car. I open the door for her—because, of course, I do—and she gives me that playful yet adoring look before slipping inside.

The drive back is quiet, comfortable, Yoko's fingers idly tracing patterns on my palm as I steer us toward her house. 

When we finally arrive, I put the car in park and turn to her, expecting her to be half-asleep by now, but instead, she just stares at me with that soft, dreamy expression.

I raise an eyebrow. "What?"

She shakes her head, smiling. "Nothing. Just...thank you for tonight."

I tilt my head slightly, smirking. "You don't have to thank me for spoiling you, love."

She laughs, unbuckling her seatbelt before leaning over to press a kiss to my cheek. "Goodnight, Faye."

I watch as she exits the car and heads inside, waiting until she's safely through the door before I finally drive off.

...

The moment I step into my own home, I kick off my shoes, loosen my shirt collar, and sink into my chair. My laptop sits open on my desk, the soft glow of the screen illuminating the dark room.

I stare at it for a long moment, fingers hovering over the keys.

Tomorrow is graduation. Tomorrow, I will no longer be a teacher. Tomorrow marks the end of an era and the beginning of something new.

I inhale deeply, steadying myself.

The cursor blinks at me, waiting.

My application portal is open, the University of Edinburgh's emblem staring back at me, bold and unwavering at the top of the page. A place that once held four years of my life. A place I never thought I'd return to—until now.

I exhale slowly, my fingers hovering over the keyboard.

This is it.

I've spent the past few weeks contemplating it, tossing the idea around in my head, teasing it like a stray thread, unraveling it little by little. 

I've thought about it in the dead of night, in stolen moments between lesson handovers, in the quiet seconds when Yoko wasn't looking—wondering if this is truly the right move.

And now? Now, I know it is.

I crack my knuckles, rolling my shoulders before settling into my chair. Then, I start filling it out.

Personal Information?

Simple. Straightforward. My name, my details, my academic history.

I don't hesitate when I type in my alma mater. There's a strange feeling in my chest—nostalgia, maybe. A quiet sense of familiarity.

Programme choice? PhD in English Literature, duh.

I click it. No second thoughts.

The next part takes the longest because it's the statement of purpose.

Not because I don't know what to write, but because... this means something.

I let out a slow breath before typing.

"Literature has always been more than just words on a page to me—it is the way we carve meaning into the world, how we breathe life into experiences, and how we immortalize love, loss, and the human condition.

My journey as an educator has solidified my desire to continue learning, to challenge the interpretations of the past, and to contribute to the ever-evolving discourse on literary impact in modern society. 

The University of Edinburgh has shaped me once before, and I wish for it to shape me once more, this time not just as a student, but as a scholar dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge, inquiry, and academic mentorship..."

I keep going, my words coming effortlessly.

By the time I scroll to the bottom, I skim through everything one last time. It's perfect. It's me.

Then, the final step.

The submit button stares at me, solid and absolute. I inhale sharply, gripping the edge of my desk.

One last chance to back out. One last moment to hesitate.

...Except, I don't.

Because I already know what I want.

I click submit.

The screen refreshes. A confirmation email pings in my inbox. And just like that—

It's done.

I exhale, sinking back into my chair, staring at the screen.

Holy shit. I just applied for my PhD.

A slow, disbelieving smile tugs at my lips, a mixture of nerves and exhilaration thrumming in my veins.

I run a hand through my hair, exhaling deeply.

It's real now. There's no turning back.

I let out a soft chuckle, shaking my head.

"Well," I murmur to myself, eyes glinting with something dangerously close to excitement. "Here we go."

I lean back in my chair, staring at the screen, the confirmation email still open in front of me.

A slow smile spreads across my lips.

It's real now. It's happening. I'm going back.

Back to Edinburgh. Back to the city that shaped me. Back to the lecture halls where I first fell in love with words in their purest, most powerful form. Back to where I became the person I am today.

But this time... I won't be going alone.

I exhale softly, the thought settling into my bones like warmth on a cold morning.

This time, I'll be going back with her.

My Yoko.

No longer my student. No longer someone I have to love in the shadows, in whispered conversations and stolen moments. No more restraint. No more hiding.

She'll be by my side—not just as my girlfriend, but as my future wife.

The words bloom in my chest, thrumming with a quiet certainty.

My future wife.

I chuckle under my breath, shaking my head slightly. God, Engfa is going to have a field day when she hears that.

I reach for my phone, my fingers lingering over Yoko's name on the screen. I want to tell her. I want to see the way her eyes will light up, the way she'll grin at me with that boundless excitement that makes me want to kiss her senseless.

But I don't.

Not yet.

I want her to have this moment—this night—without any added weight on her shoulders. She deserves to bask in her achievements, to celebrate the end of her high school journey without thinking about what comes next.

Because whatever happens next... I'll be right there with her.

...

I shut my laptop, pushing my chair back. I feel it now—this quiet, simmering anticipation.

I'm ready.

Ready to go back. Ready to start anew. Ready to step into the next chapter of my life—not just as an academic, not just as a scholar, but as someone who finally, finally knows where she belongs.

And this time...I won't just be carrying books and lecture notes with me. I'll be carrying her.

My future. My love. My forever.

I grin to myself, exhaling one last deep breath before pushing off my desk and heading to bed.

Tomorrow will come soon enough.

And I can't wait for the rest of my life to begin.