CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Zhan spent the afternoon visiting with Mrs. Wang, and then he headed back home. As he pulled into the driveway, he noticed a Chevrolet Impala parked beside him. Zhan looked through his tinted window and saw Yibo getting out of the car. His mouth was moving, so he assumed he was on the phone again.

He cut the SUV's engine, dreading for a moment the bitter winds outside. He had just warmed his backside with the seat warmer. When he noticed Ling Xi was awake, Zhan retrieved the little girl from her seat. At the sight of her father, Ling Xi squealed.

"Daddy! Daddy!" she beamed.

Yibo smiled and scooped her up.

Zhan relished in their father-daughter moment, as he carefully picked up Junior from his car seat. He was still asleep.

"Did you have fun with Papa and Grandma?" Yibo asked Ling Xi. She nodded and hugged his neck.

Then he looked over at Zhan.

"You guys have a good time?"

"Yes we did," Zhan answered walking towards the front door toting Junior in his arms along with his diaper bag.

Yibo opened the door for all four of them. Zhan sat Junior in his playpen, while Ling Xi went directly to her room.

Then Zhan strolled into the kitchen and investigated the refrigerator.

"I have no idea what we're eating. Maybe we all can share Junior's baby food," he said.

Yibo replied.

"Junior's custard is not that bad. Are you willing to share with me?"

Zhan playfully rolled his eyes.

"Keep it up, Mr. Wang."

"Since you've been with the kids all day, how about I take care of dinner. I'll cook so you can rest a while," he offered.

"Really?" he replied, resting his elbows on the kitchen counter.

"You sit down. I'll change clothes, and I'll make dinner. Alright?" he reassured him.

Zhan agreed and headed for the couch. He was asleep within mere minutes of his head hitting the pillow. All he could think about was his wedding. How did it go? Was he happy or nervous that day? His imagination took over.

He envisioned himself wearing a beautiful white wedding tux, Zhan visualised marching down the church aisle with his father. He would have celebrated the day with all his family and friends.

Next, he pictured clearly locking eyes with Yibo. Then music flooded his ears and he smiled in his sleep. The gorgeous ambiance of their church wedding enveloped him.

A wedding arch sat upright at the altar, as yellow roses decorated the sanctuary. His sister would have been his matron of honour, and Zhuo Cheng would have been Yibo's best man.

Zhan mouthed, "I do" as the minister asked if he took Yibo to be his husband. Yibo made his vow to him as well. As the minister stated the kissing part, Zhan's heart raced anticipating the kiss, but his itchy nose disturbed his dream. He scratched away his annoyance but opened his eyes to find Ling Xi smiling. Zhan returned the sweet gesture. Yibo stood over him as well.

"Dinner's ready, Papa," Ling Xi said.

"I asked Daddy if I could wake you up. He said I could."

"Oh he did," Zhan teased. Then he tickled Ling Xi, which caused little shrieks to escape the little girl's mouth.

"I didn't want your food to get cold,"

Yibo added with a hint of coyness.

Zhan wrinkled his nose at him, kissed Ling Xi's little hands, and walked with her to the table.

"Has Junior eaten yet?" Zhan asked.

"Yes, he's eaten. Don't worry about anything," he reassured him.

Zhan massaged his temples.

"How long was I asleep?"

"About an hour,"

Yibo replied as he served Ling Xi her plate.

Zhan nodded in approval of the menu. There were macaroni and cheese, steamed mixed vegetables, and chicken strips. I did better ordering pizza.

"Looks good," he complimented.

Yibo winked at him.

Then he brought Zhan his plate and sat down.

"You're not eating?" he inquired.

"In a little bit; I just needed to sit down for a while. Now I know what you go through," he shared.

"It's not that bad, once you get the hang of it," Zhan admitted. I think I like it.

"You don't regret it do you?" he asked with a hint of seriousness in his tone.

Maybe I'll get some answers now.

"Regret what?" he wondered.

"Giving up your job for the kids. You had your heart set on owning your own practice and helping people. I hope I didn't ruin your dream for you. Sometimes... I still wonder about that," Yibo stated.

He pressed further,

"I'm assuming... we've talked about this before."

He chuckled.

"That's one reason why I love you. You never forget a thing." He continued.

"I guess after Ling Xi was born, I was sure you were going to return to work, butyou didn't. You wanted to try staying home with her."

"Well, you did want me to stay home. Right?" At least he got what he wanted.

He nodded.

"I guess I finally realized that we have our own story. I admire my dad, but I'm not him." He looked at Zhan.

"I wanted you to be happy, so if that meant working, I wanted to support you."

Zhan's heart melted.

"So you were... willing to change?" I can't believe this. I walked away too soon.

"I'm not perfect. It took some time. Sometimes it still crosses my mind, but I wanted the decision to be yours. Whether you worked or stayed home, I wanted that to come from you," he added.

He stroked his cheek with his hand; he was speechless. The pieces to the puzzle were coming together.

Yibo had changed. He saw his love for a career and left the choice to him. It was liberating to hear.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Zhan was tongue-tied. If only this was real.

Eventually he would reach out and find himself alone. Yibo would not be there. Hewas marrying someone else. Just enjoy it now, he told himself.

Ling Xi interjected. "I'm finished, Daddy."

She wiped her mouth with her napkin.

Yibo turned his attention to her.

"Okay baby girl, why don't you go get your pajamas."

Zhan chose to follow Ling Xi. In an hour, he had prepped her for bed. After reading some bedtime story, he kissed the little girl's forehead and wished her sweet dreams. He then peeked in Junior's room; he was still sound asleep.

Back in the kitchen, he discovered Yibo cleaning. At the sight of him, he turned and pulled out champagne glasses. He retrieved two cans of lime soda from the refrigerator and then motioned for him to come closer.

He did.

He laced his fingers with his, and they sat on the kitchen floor mat in front of the sink. They toasted their glasses and sipped their drinks.

"I could get used to this," Zhan commented.

"Me too," Yibo replied.

Zhan rested his head on his shoulder. His heart was still full from his admission earlier, but he wanted to know everything.

"You never finished telling me your story."

"What story?"

"How you proposed and how we got married."

"You want the long version?" he teased,

"Do you have somewhere to be?"

"Alright. Where did I leave off?"

Zhan sighed recalling once more thepainful night of their break up.

"Did I say yes the first time?"

"No, you said no. When I chased you to the front door, you were crying. I asked you again, and you said yes," Yibo answered.

"Did everything go smoothly?"

"We had a long talk the night before. We compromised—a lot. You were getting cold feet about it, but we encouraged each other. We knew we were doing the right thing."

"So how did we get back to Shanghai?"

He raised an eyebrow, but his grin gave him away.

"You don't remember? Have I been that bad of a husband that you blocked those years out?"

Zhan giggled.

"Indulge me. Please?"

He conceded,

"Okay. Well... my job brought me back here and we decided the move would be better for us."

Zhan nodded, but his voice tremored with the next question.

"What if I didn't say yes and we broke up. What would you have done?"

He gave him a serious look.

"I was hoping that wouldn't happen; I thought it would."

"You did?"

"I knew my old-fashioned ways didn't settle with you. I just wanted to take care of you. I wanted to show you that I loved you. That's all I saw my father do for my mother and I was proud. They were like a template I wanted to follow."

He looped his arm through his.

"I know. I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise. I just didn't want to..."

"What?" He urged him.

"Lose myself," he whispered. I ended up losing him though.

I broke my own heart.

Yibo continued,

"Babe if you weren't ready, I would've tried to give you your space. I wanted you to beyour own person."

Zhan returned his look.

"Would you have waited for me?"

He took his hand.

"Only if you wanted me too."

"Would you have moved on?"

"Zhan... what I feel for you is priceless. Even if something happened between us, I would always be in love with you," he confessed.

Zhan wallowed.

If only this was true.

His next words spilled out like unrestrained waters. They'd always been there. Though he hadn't seen Yibo in seven years, his true feelings remained dormant in the secret parts of his heart.

He buried them in denial of it all, buthere he was falling for him all over again.

"I love you."

I never stopped loving you.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

His lips covered his, and Zhan's heart raced once again. His touch was tender as he cupped his cheek. His heart called out to his. He wondered could he hear the thuds of his heartbeat. Were they really in harmony as a wed couple, even if it was only a dream? When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against his.

Zhan's breath hitched.

Then Yibo rose to his feet. Zhan stood too completely dazed as he cleaned their glasses. When he extended his hand, he took it lovingly and walk their way to the bedroom.

He knew he would remember that as he closed the door afterward.