chapter 5

Drowning. It is an awful feeling. It occurs when you give up, drawing in water, which fills up your lungs and makes you chock, suffocating you, doe to the lack of air. You let go calmly though, excepting it, letting it take you- just like that.

Emma was about to give up, sure it was the end, and somewhere was even happy for it. Hoping it would put to an end the pain in her heart. when she felt a tug on her arm- Someone trying to pull her up from behind. Feeling the grip snapped her out of her sorrow and gave her the strength to hold on for a little longer just enough for her to break the water's surface.

Harry's POV

My heart leaped to my mouth as I watched Zayn push Emma into the pool, all colour drained from her face as fear caught her features when she hit the water. Without thinking twice I ran to the pool half hearing Niall yelling at Zayn untying the towel around his waist getting ready to jump in and get his cousin.

I jumped head first into the pool diving for the girl. The only thought running through my head was 'not her! Just not her.'

She was kicking trying to get her head above, her shoes weighing her down. And then she stopped. As if she just gave up. I hurried, reaching out tugging on her arm, pulling her to me. When she felt my grip, it was as if she awakened, she started kicking again, fighting the water. When she was close enough I linked an arm around her waist pulling both of us above the water surface.

"Stop moving or we both will fucking drown!" I chocked at her. But she didn't stop.  She was too frantic, kicking at the water scratching my arms, going completely mental on me. I turned her around to face me, holding on to her with one hand, the other taking hold of her chin with my fingers so she'd look at me, keeping us above water by kicking my own feet.

"Emma look at me! Look at me damn it! I've got you! You're safe so stop moving so I can get you out!" she was chocking on water her eyes and nose running. But she finally stopped moving.

"Link you arms around my neck," I ordered her. When she did I swam on my back to the pool surface, Niall and Louis already there ready to help pull her out. When I got to the edge of the pool, I lift her up enough for her to sit on the edge. 

Niall tried to get her to stand but she wouldn't let go of me, sobbing into my neck, she was mumbling something.. it sounded like 'not again'. Niall looked at me, alarm in his eyes not knowing what to do.

"Hey Em... come let's get you up and under a dry towel," Niall rubbed her back, softly talking in a soft voice. I noticed everyone around the pool is staring at us forgetting about the party, this being so much more interesting.

"Emma," I whispered to her softly "you're ok love..  If you let go of my neck I'll be able to get out of the pool and get you away from the water.. ok?" I felt her lean away from me nodding her head. She was still crying and coughing up water, but she let me go. I nodded at Niall and he helped her to her feet as I pulled myself out. I shook my curls out of my face, brushing them back. I lost my bandana in this commotion, but I didn't give it another thought, I was too busy watching Emma. She tried to make a few steps but she was too shaky and still crying. I moved towards her slipping one arm behind her knees and one supporting her back as I lifted her into my arms. I catched the annoyed look from Niall but I really didn't give a fuck. I carried her into the house away of the watchful eyes.

Emma's POV

I know I am safe seated on the edge of the pool held by Harry, him barricading me from the water. But for some reason I just can't get myself to let go. Sobbing and hiccupping into Harry's neck. I am so terrified, the feeling of the water closing over me, I can still feel it. Harry whispers to me that I'm safe, and if I let go he'll help me up.

I lean back looking into his face. His green eyes are filled with worry but yet soft. His wet curls dripping over his forehead. This is definitely a sight to be seen if this was under different circumstances. I nod at him, my eyes not leaving his, scared that if they do I will go under water once more.

Someone helps me up to my feet. Niall.

I try to walk but my knees are weak and my wet shoes heavy, making me wobble. I note all the people watching us, but I'm too shaken up to care. Harry moves to my side lifting me up into his arms. It feel so weird being touched by him in such a caring way, just moments ago he shouted and made such assumptions about me and my life. Telling me I should be scared of him making me run away. And yet, he came for me, jumping in and pulling me out. At first I was sure it was Niall, but once he caught hold of my chin in his fingers making me look at him…

I am cold even though it was a hot day, shivering in Harry's arms.

"She almost drowned because of you!" I hear Perrie as Harry takes me away.

"I didn't know she can't fucking swim!" I hear Zayn's answer before the door is shut, cutting off their voices.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Harry hisses at the people in the room on the right of the main entrance.

"Here, I got you a change of clothes," Jennifer appears. Harry puts me down on a chair, Niall wrapping a towel around my shoulders rubbing them to get me warm.

I look up at Jennifer who is holding dry sweat pants and a jumper.

"Thanks," I whisper to her, my voice hoarse.

"That was scary, that twit," She claims. "Are you ok?"

I nod at her my head hurting and my throat burning, not able to talk.

"Em, let's change you into dry clothes," Niall whispers softy, brushing back my wet hair.

"Come I'll help you," Jennifer offers kindly.

"No!" I say "Thank you, but I just want to go home!" Fresh tears start down my face.

"Why don't you change and I'll take you back?" Niall tries.

"No, I want to go now, I want to go back to my house," I cry "I knew I shouldn't come- to a pool party, what was I thinking? What were you thinking?? why did you make me come? It's a pool with water- I came for you, to show you I am trying... I am trying..." The burn in my throat intensifies, the pounding in my head is unbearable. All I want is to go home.

"I'm sorry, you're right Em, I should have kept a closer eye on you," Niall leans next to me a pained look on his face.

"I just want to go home," I whisper to him. I am cross. I know he isn't to blame, but I have to direct my anger at someone and he is here.

"Emma, put your hands through this, just the jumper, I'll drive you home," Harry decides calmly, holding the jumper in a way that just needs me to hold my arms up.

"You'll take me home to my house?" I ask wiping my cheeks.

"Where ever you want me to take you," He promises.

Niall starts to decline, but watching me hold up my arms, letting Harry slide the jumper over my head and tug it down makes him stop and keep quiet.

"Come on now," Harry holds out his hand for me to take. I glance over at Niall, knowing he must be hurt I am choosing Harry over family. But he also knows he's better off letting me go, since this event is some flash back to the past.

"Styles, take the towel with you," Jennifer hands it over to him. He takes it with a nod, helping me back up to my feet. He pulls the hood over my wet hair and gives a nod of approval.

"Where did you park?" Niall asks him.

"Out back."

"Take the back way, I'll unlock the gate for you, you don't need everyone watching again," Jennifer smiles kindly.

Niall and Harry help me walk out, following Jennifer to the back gate.

"Should I come with you?" Niall questions, his eyes full of worry.

"No, it's fine stay, let people know everything's ok, I'll call you later," I offer a small and weak smile still shaking.

He leans down to me kissing my cheek. "if you need anything call and I'll be right over," He says. Harry helps me into the car. I don't miss the stare Niall and him exchange as Harry shuts the door on my side.

Harry's POV

I was driving down our street, and we were both quiet. I could tell Emma was in deep thoughts, she was staring out the window the whole time. I caught her wiping new tears. What the fuck? She's safe now, why is she still crying?

"Are you all right?" I asked feeling it's the right thing to do.

"Yeah," She replied without even looking at me. I knew she's not, my sister used to give me and my mum the same answers, I knew when a girl lies.

She looked as if her thoughts took her far away, I was wondering what this event triggered. No one would get so shaken up over a thing like this.. would they?

I stopped outside her house, getting out, walking around the car to help her.

She tried to unlock the house door, but her hands were shaking, she kept missing the hole.

"Let me," I took the keys out of her hand, having the door open in no time.

We strided inside. She has a pretty house. Its warm- as my mum would say. Colourful paintings decorated the walls, soft sun shining through cream curtains, that covered the windows.

We both stood at the entrance. Emma was looking at the floor. She was still shivering, looking quite pale too.

"Why don't I get the hot water going, start a bath for you?" I offered, remembering the days my sister used to come back home in a shitty mode, she would take a long bath, being stuck in there for hours, making me pound on the door until she got out.

"NO- not  a bath!" She shot up, her eyes wide with fear.

"All right, no bath, just steamy hot water!" I replied, holding up my hands. God that was weird.

I helped her up the stairs, and into the bathroom. She sat herself on the closed toilet seat, while I adjusted the water for her.

"Ok, so it's ready for you," I turned to her. She was looking at her hands spaced out.

"Emma?" I called her name. That made her look up remembering I'm here. "The waters ready."

"Oh.. thanks," She whispered.

"I'll be outside," I sighed, walking out closing the door behind me. It didn't seem as if she moved. I stood outside the door listening if she has. After a while I decided to run to my house to take a fast shower myself and be back before she gets out.

"Emma?" I knocked on the door, "I'm heading out for a moment I'll be back soon."

She didn't answer me. I decided to rush out even though, knowing I need a change of clothes myself, walking around in wet jeans just wasn't comfortable.

Emma's POV

When Harry knocks on the door I realize I haven't moved from where I was, the water running untouched in the bath. I stand, shedding off the jumper. I take off the wet shirt and jeans. I take of my shoes, knickers and bra and get into the bath slowly trying my best not to fall over. I am shivering, and the hot water on my body feel good. I sit down, not trusting my legs to hold me, the water splashing over my head. I can't believe it almost happen again. Gosh.. what was I even doing at such a party? I gave all of this up a long time ago, not wanting to be a part of this kind of life. I know the parties at 17 our different than the ones of 15, and this is a new place, new people, but the same crowed.

I reach over to my shampoo. I use the same brand since I was young not able to change, the scent of it reminding me of my mum.  Gosh I miss you mum. I miss our days at the beach even on the cold days, running down the wet sand, sitting and painting together. I miss our nights as a family, when dad didn't throw himself into work. I miss you braiding my hair. I miss your touch. I was sobbing now, letting my emotion take over, letting it all out, feeling sorry for myself. I wash out the soap turning the water off. I climb out and wrap a clean towel around my body. I step out and walk to my room. I put on some sweat pants and a clean jumper, brushing out my hair and putting it up in a bun. Just then there is a soft knock at the door.

Harry is stood there. His hair wet from a shampoo wash and some fresh clothes on.

"I made you tea," He mumbles, offering me the cup in his hands.

I wrap my fingers around it letting the warmth seep into my skin.

"Thank you," I find this terribly sweet of him.

"Feeling better?" He questions.

"Other than my head hurting and my throat burning.. I'm fine, thank you."

Harry hands me over a bottle of Advil. "That should help with the headache and the tea should help with your throat and chills".

"Why did you offer to drive me back? You could have let Niall do it," I can't help but ask. He just shrugs at me not answering.

"I mean- I appreciate it very much, but just before you shouted at me, telling me I should fear you, and then you do this. How could I fear such a gesture?"

"Sometimes the right thing and the hard thing to do, are the same thing" He answers.

"What do you mean?" I frown not quite understanding

"After the way I shouted at you… That was rude of me, you were just having a conversation, and I could have answered politely, and I'm not very good with apologizing so… And I could tell by your face that you didn't want to go with your cousin too- so I offered."

"So taking me home was your way of apologize," I say sitting down on the bed.

"I guess… yes, yes it is."

I move over to make him some room. He sits down on the bed, making sure he is far enough away, looking around.

"I'm still in boxes," I smile.

"I see, why's that?"

"I'm having a hard time unpacking," I watch as he stands up, walking over to one of the boxes, looking up at me, checking if he can open it.

I nod letting him know he can.

He opens the box with all of my books. He goes through them "Do you like to read?"

"I do."

"Which book are you reading now?"

"The fault in our star by John Green" I answer.

He then sees it on the dresser, the only book I have unpacked from the box, walking over, and this time sitting slightly closer.

It is weird having Harry in my room. He is big and kind of dark, in his dark jeans and shirt, his dark curls framing his face, the only colour is in his green eyes, who are busy reading the first page.

"Where are you up to?" He glances up at me.

"This is the third time I am reading this book," I chuckle nervously. I feel my cheeks burn, not sure why I am embarrassed of reading the book so many times.

"Which is your favorite part?"

"I have a few… Um," I take the book out of his hands and find one of them.

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices." I read to him. I look back up at him studying his face, "Would you like to read this after me?" I ask.

Before he gets a chance to answer, his phone rings. I watch as he fishes it out his eyes never leaving mine.

"Talk to me," He answers. I don't know who is on the other side of the line, but I hear him loud and clear- "Harry, I thought you'd want to know.. Tyler's here."

Harry watched Emma's face, knowing she probably heard Dylan, since confusion appeared in her eyes. He had to make up his mind fast. Should he leave to go confront Tyler and risk hurting Emma's feeling once again? Or should he stay, and find Tyler another time? Knowing my brother, no girl ever stopped him from doing what he wanted to do, but then again no girl ever got him to take her home and make her tea without her even asking. Hard times are waiting for my dear twin brother, and I have a front seat to the show.