Part 48 - Tired

Y/n

Could this night get any worse?

I gave my purse to Enid at the start of the night because I didn't trust myself not to place it somewhere and end up losing it. But in giving it to her, and now not knowing where she is, I have lost it, along with my keys. The very same keys that I realized I needed to get back into my dorm room, only after I was right in front of it.

And so now I sit here, on the floor with my back leaned up against my door, just hoping that this night will finally be over, and I'll wake up tomorrow with everything back to normal, and I can forget this ever happened. But that was wishful thinking on my part, because every time I looked down, I still saw the dress that had once made me feel like a princess, that now only brought me a sense of exhaustion, and the desire to cry again.

I sigh, hitting the back of my head against the wood of the door, and I stare up at the ceiling of the hallway as I whisper under my breath.

"Stupid..."

This all wouldn't have happened if I had just made the guy shut up, so I could tell him that his feelings weren't unreciprocated and that he was going on this huge rant about not being able to have me, all for nothing. But as badly as I wanted to, I didn't, because I'm a fucking coward. And now he's nowhere to be found, while I'm still here wanting nothing more than to be sitting with him in our dorm talking about how crazy this night has been.

I'm cold, alone, and there is definitely mascara smudges on my cheeks from earlier, and all I can do is sit here in my own misery, waiting for something to come and happen to me to get me out of this night. 

But I knew it was pointless to wait, there was nobody coming to save me this time.

I just wanted to get out of this dress, man...

There was an itch on my back that I couldn't scratch properly because of how tight the bodice was around my torso, and it was driving me insane. At this point I was considering going outside to the archery range and grabbing an arrow to use to relieve this feeling, but after actually thinking about it, that seemed like a little much, so I just had to suck it up.

I hadn't expected to run through the woods with Wednesday and Eugene trying to find him, and honestly doing so was a complete waste of time. We found diddly squat, and I spent the entire time feeling on edge by being there in the first place. I hate the graveyard, whenever I go anywhere close to it, I feel like all of the souls from the bodies buried there just fly through my body and leave me chilled to my core.

And there was a search party out there now looking for Pugsley, and the sheriff had told us the best thing we could do would be to go back home and just wait for any updates on the situation.

Yeah alright, I'd actually love to try and fall asleep in my bed right now, but that's kind of hard to do WHEN I"M STUCK IN THE FUCKING HALLWAY.

I know that my dilemma is not anyone's fault but my own, but it still sucks total ass.

Plus with the hour being so late, or I guess technically early now that I think about it, and me still awake when usually I would have been asleep hours ago, added onto the fact that I haven't eaten anything since before the gala, I was starting to get a little delirious. I'm just glad I didn't have my phone right now, or I think I'd be making some kind of bad decisions. I need sleep, desperately, I know I do.

And honestly after having sat out here for this long I was just about ready to lay down on the floor and just call it a night, but I couldn't stop thinking about the things I should have done, or could have done, to make it so Pugsley would still be here right now. I know he's not gone forever, but I'm still really worried about him.

I really hope he's okay...

I just don't think I can have any good ideas about what to do until I've rested my brain.

It was times like this that I really wish that I had Xavier to turn to for an answer... He'd know what to do, or at least be able to convince me to get off my ass and actually do something about my predicament, but without him I just felt so alone.

And I didn't even have the ability to call him since my phone is with my purse, so I was left here stuck with my own thoughts, which right now weren't actually being that helpful. And with all of the bad ideas of what happened to Pugsley running through my head, my hands were absentmindedly returning to my nervous habit of picking my finger nails until there was practically nothing left.

And now my nail beds hurt.

I've been out here for maybe...an hour-ish? And it has been absolute silence for that entire time since most kids parent's came to get them after the police showed up at the gala, and I figured that I was the only one left in the hall.

But when I heard the quiet creak of a floorboard not too far away that interrupted said silence, it's safe to say I got a little more than a bit spooked.

Before I even turned to look who was there, I reached down for one of the heels that I had taken off of my feet and placed down next to me, and I gripped it in my hand with the stabbing part of it facing out in case I needed it, and I whipped my head up towards where the sound come from down the hall.

Although when my eyes adjusted to the figure standing in the darkness, I let out a breath of relief as I lowered my shoe down back onto the ground. 

Thank god, it was just him. I was not in the mood to puncture somebody tonight.

"Hey...I didn't realize anyone else was in here, you scared me."

Oh god, that was the first time I'd spoken out loud since I'd been screaming in the forest trying to find my boy, and I had slightly lost my voice from doing so, leaving me a little raspy in the throat when I talked.

Eugene stood somewhat in the darkness, now changed into casual clothes and had half of his hair tied up on the top of his head in a small poof of curls, and he adjusted his glasses up his nose, taking another few steps along the floorboards quietly until he was towering over me.

"Sorry, didn't mean to. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you've been out here for a while...did you perhaps lose your keys again?"

How the fuck was this guy so good at reading me? I bet it's his glasses...they make him some sort of thought seeing superhero.

I groan, letting my head hit the door again.

"It's not my faaaault..."

He raised an unbelieving eyebrow at me, and I snort.

"Okay so maybe it was kind of my fault."

And then a thought crossed my mind that I hadn't realized before, and I look up at the boy with a hopeful expression.

"Hey, didn't I give you a spare key a while back?"

His face drops slightly at that, and he inhales awkwardly.

"Yeahhh, but I may or may not have accidentally left in your guys' dorm back when I pranked you guys...sorry..."

Great, just great. I knew there was a chance that was the case, but I had a tiny bit of hope anyway.

I sigh.

"It's fine...it was worth a shot, it's just cold out here is all, but I can manage."

Eugene laughs at my defeated tone slightly.

"You don't have to do that you know, you can stay in my room if you want. It's just me in there since the rest if the guys got taken home with their parents. It'd be warmer than sitting out here all night."

He pokes the top of my head with his hand, and I blink a couple of times before I smile.

"You'd really do that for me?"

He shrugs.

"Yeah of course I would. But first,"

He takes his other hand from behind his back, and drops a small stack of what looks to be a shirt and some shorts, along with a pair of socks into my lap over my dress.

"I think you should wear something a little more suited for sleep."

My head follows the clothing, and I nod.

"Thank you, I think I've definitely spent enough time in this dress for one night."

I take the pile in one hand, and my other one reaches for Eugene's which was extended down towards me to help me up off the floor. He pulled me to my feet with a small grunt, but not enough of one for me to be offended, and he brushed the tiny layer of dirt from my dress that I had picked up from the depths of hell called this schools ground.

I held the clothes up at my stomach, and Eugene took a step back from me.

"Alright, you go and get changed, and I'll see you in a bit."

He gives me one final tap to the forehead before he turns to go back to his room, and I do the same, leaving my shoes in front of my door as I head for the staircase down to the bathroom closest to me so I could get dressed in peace.

I just hoped they hadn't been locked up for the night already.

««« ♪ ♪ »»»

Oh sweet freedom, I can finally breathe properly.

For the first time time in the past few hours, something finally went in my favor, and I found the nearest school bathroom to be unlocked and completely empty for me use to get changed in. And honestly I was just glad my chest had room to move again, the girls were getting a little cramped inside of that bodice after a while.

Eugene had given me one of his old shirts with the words 'bee positive' written in a bubble font on the front that I hadn't seen him wear since last year, so while it was still a little big on me, it fit reasonably well all things considering. And along with a pair of comfortable shorts that I think were actually mine first that I lent to him when some kids chucked milkshakes all over him, again, last year. I guess he's finally giving them back, so I ain't complaining. 

Honestly I was more surprised that they still fit me after this long, it's making me think that I didn't end up growing that much in the past 12 months, even though I know I have. But in all transparency, these shorts were pretty flexible so I think they'd fit me now matter how my body was shaped.

The socks on my feet were definitely Eugene's though. The white fabric came up to my shins, being covered with little drawn daisy outlines, with the yellow centers and everything, and they were adorable. I was a tiny bit tempted to keep them for myself, but for now I was just grateful my toes weren't going to freeze off.

I did kind of want to get off of these tiles though, everything is just so much colder at night and somehow I was simultaneously warm and also an icicle at the same time, and it was messing with my nerves, like literally. I gotta get out of here before my feet go numb, although they kind of have already. But I'm out of the dress now, that was the point.

I grab said dress off the back of the stall door where I had hung it while changing, and the door swings open with a slight squeak, that echoed in the dead silence of the bathroom. The only source of light in here was the very faint glow of the moon through one of the tiny windows high to the ceiling, and it bounced off the mirrors and onto the floor, making it easier to see where I was stepping.

I walk over to the sink, placing the gown onto the counter next to me as my hands come to rest against the edge of the cold marble, and for the first time since I left my dorm hours ago, I saw what I looked like in the reflection in front of me.

Yikes...

Tonight has most definitely taken a toll on me, and I kind of looked like a tired raccoon with the mascara smudged around my eyes. It almost made me want to laugh, but I was just way too exhausted to care about the humor in it.

I do think I should probably clean it up though before somebody sees me and think I'm a burglar walking through the halls.

I sigh, turning on the tap and collecting a small puddle of water in my palms, before lifting it to my face and letting it run down my skin while I rub off the excess pigment with my hands, and I blinked a couple of times to make sure I didn't get anything in my eyes.

It took a few seconds for the remaining drops of water to fall into the sink, but when they do, I take deep breath to center myself, trying not to breakdown in the bathroom, even though I so badly want to. But I've stayed strong for this long, I can handle this, it's okay...

I picked my dress back up and hung it over my arm, and I was just going to head back upstairs to Eugene's dorm room to call it a night and sleep away the guilty feelings that have weighing down on my chest for hours. But when I made a move out of the door and into the hallway, before I had a chance to make it up the first step on the staircase back to the dorm rooms,

I heard something.

At first I figured I was just imagining things in my tired state, and that I should just keep walking seeing as I assumed I was the only one out here, but I definitely heard it. Faint voices were echoing down the hall, and somehow, I recognized them. Not so well that I could tell exactly who was talking, but well enough to know I'd heard them before.

And my curiosity was piqued.

My gaze turned back and forth between the top of the staircase where a friend and a comfortable bed awaited me, and the end of the hallway filled by the darkness that I could almost see through from here, and I was torn. I wanted to sleep, over pretty much everything else right now, but there was something in the back of my mind that told me that whoever was looming over there, was someone I needed to see.

In the end, my interest in knowing who it was, won out over the need for sleep.

I left the dress over the side of the railing on the staircase before swinging myself back around the corner, making quiet steps towards the sound I was hearing, and the voices got louder in my ears with each one I took. My footsteps didn't make any noise, since I was wearing socks, and I creeped carefully until I saw a soft light glowing from one of the offices up ahead.

And I could see a girl I really did recognize, looming in the shadows outside the doorway.

I don't think it was possible for me to sneak up on Wednesday, she had that skill pretty much down pat compared to literally anybody else. But even when I did come to stand next to her in the dark, she didn't turn to look at me, she was too busy listening in on the people inside the room next to us, and I could see why. 

It was Mr. and Mrs. Addams, talking with the sheriff. About Pugsley.

I knew that they had sent out a search party to look for him, but I hadn't realized that the sheriff had actually set up a whole investigation looking thing in one of the offices here, commandeering it for police work, with one of those big boards with the red string and everything. They were really going all out to find Pugsley, as they should.

I peek around the corner beside Wednesday, trying to get a better look at what was going on, hopefully without being seen, as the adults continued speaking about the situation, and the sheriff voice reached me first.

"No sign of your son. Any idea why someone would kidnap him?"

My stomach dropped at that word. I guess it wasn't entirely wrong to call it that, but the way she said it made it sound like she didn't think he was going to be found...

Mr. Addams shrugged his shoulders.

"It's a total mystery sheriff.."

And it was. To all of us. I mean yeah sure Pugsley could be a little bit of a tease sometimes, and he may not be completely there when it came to...well, people. But he's one of the most amazing guys I know, there was not a single thing about him that I thought would ever make somebody want to cause him harm, let alone take him away. I just don't know why anybody would do this.

"Can you think of anyone who has a grudge against your family? Could this be some kind of revenge?"

If she's implying what I think she is, I'm boutta throw hands. I mean who the fuck says that to the parents of somebody who's gone missing??

"Are you blaming us for our sons kidnapping."

The sheriff shook her head softly, closing whatever papers she was looking at on her desk, and she sighed.

"The search parties will run through the night. The parents who were at the gala have already left with their kids. All other students will be packed up and on their way home by tomorrow afternoon. I'm sorry, we're doing everything we can."

Her voice faded a little as I took a step back.

No. Fuck no. I'm not leaving this place while he's still out there somewhere. I can't even think about going anywhere until I know he's okay. I need to see him, talk to him...about everything.

I sigh, turning back to press my side against the wall next to the doorway, and in the complete silence from the girl next to me, I may or may not have forgotten that she was there, until she spoke my name in her usual unfeeling tone.

"Y/n."

I practically jumped out of my skin at the sudden breaking of said silence, and my body turns around quickly to face Wednesday, who was staring me dead on from where she stood, and I exhaled deeply in an attempt to get my heartrate back down to normal.

She extended her hand out towards me, holding something between her fingers, and when I looked down to see what it was, I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

"I believe this belongs to you."

Oh thank god.

I take my purse from her hand, opening up the zip to see both my phone and my keys still safe inside, and I smiled at the sight of things finally going right for me. The little whale shark keychain was still attached to it, and yet another sense of sadness filled my lungs instead of oxygen, and I cleared my throat before looking back up at Wednesday.

"Uhm, thank you..."

Her expression didn't change at my gratitude, and instead her hand reached back into her pocket to grab something else, glancing away off to the side before she handed me a phone.

But it couldn't have been mine, nor do I think it was hers, she didn't really seem like the kind of person to own any kind of form of smart technology of any kind. But I took it in my hand anyway, looking at her curiously for her to explain further.

"It's my numbskull of a brother's phone. And while I despise the fact that he has been sucked into the eternal abyss that is modern technology and social media, I think it would be best if you kept it safe until I find him."

I flipped the phone over in my hand to look at the back of the phone case, and written in surprisingly fancy handwriting down the bottom in black ink was,

'Property of P.A.'

I wanted to thank her again, and maybe even ask if she had a plan to find Pugsley, but before I had a chance to get even one word out, her figure was already disappearing down the hall into the darkness, leaving me by myself with Pugsley's phone, and a new sense of hope in my chest that she would be able to locate my boy...

But in being so focused on Wednesday, I wasn't being careful where I placed my feet, and I took a step back onto a floorboard that just so happened to be the loudest one in fucking existence, and a squeak echoed all the way to antarctica and back through the hall.

Oh fuck.

My body froze, and I didn't dare look inside that office, in hopes that maybe if I stayed still enough, I would simply just turn completely invisible. Now would be a great time to have Agnes' power, that way I really could just blink out of sight right now.

But alas, my wishes were soon crushed when the sound of a very surprised sheriff is pointed directly at me from behind the desk she sat at.

"Hey, you!"

Ah shit...okay well, this is fine, I'm sure a little yelling is nothing compared to all of the other things that have happened to me tonight, so I sigh, turning my body to face inside the room, and I glance at the floor as she continues.

"You're not supposed to be-"

"It's quite alright Sheriff Santiago, she's with us.."

The other feminine voice cut the sheriff off, and it was a soft statement, making my head turn up again to look over at Mrs. Addams, who stood looking at me from across the room, with a warm smile on her face. The sheriff glanced back at me, giving me a short warning look before she settled back into her chair, and Mrs. Addams whispered something to Mr. Addams shortly before she began to walk over to me.

I straightened up my posture as she moved to stand right in front of me, out of the sight of the two who were still in the office, because honestly I felt a little intimidated just by her presence. But it was only now that I could definitely tell where Pugsley got his height from, this woman is tall, but I think it only added to her already beautiful aura that she had going on.

I shoved Pugsley's phone into my back pocket as I looked up at her with a bit of guilt on my face, and I sighed.

"I'm really sorry Mrs. Addams, I didn't mean to listen in..."

I glance to the side.

"Okay maybe I was kind of doing it on purpose, but I just..."

Mrs. Addams shakes her head softly.

"There's no need to apologize, we know that you are just as worried about Pugsley as we are. And please, call me Morticia."

My eyes turn back to her, a little shocked by the fact she just asked me to put her on a first name basis, but I give her a grateful smile nonetheless.

"Thank you...It's uhm, it's really nice to finally officially meet you...Morticia."

It felt weird to say it, seeing as this was kind of the first time she and I had ever really spoken to each other, but I felt nice knowing that she trusted me enough to give me the right to call her by her name.

She shows me a warm look as she nods.

"Likewise, though I do wish it could have been under better circumstances."

Right...that.

I had momentarily forgotten about the not so small detail that the only reason she was even here at the school right now was because her son was missing, and I looked back down at the floor.

How were you supposed to tell a mother that it was your fault that her child is gone? It's not exactly the easiest topics of conversation to bring up, but I felt like I had so much to apologize for, with no idea where to start.

"Yeah..."

I think she noticed my shift in demeanor, because her head tilted slightly when my eyes refused to meet hers, and her arms reached out for me in a comforting matter.

"Oh, sweetheart..."

Within a mere moment, I was pulled into an embrace that I could only describe as feeling a warmth I hadn't even realized I missed. The kind of comfort that only a mother could give, and it was that same comfort that I hadn't felt in years.

She held my head against her torso, as one of her hands lightly ran over my hair, and I felt like breaking down right then and there. It was pretty obvious now that Pugsley's gentle nature was most definitely taught from her, and when being held like this, it reminded me of him a little bit.

Don't cry don't cry don't cry....

"I know you must be worried about him right now."

Her voice was so smooth, it's insane.

"I don't think I could bare it if I lost my Gomez, you must be so scared..."

If she had said that to me two weeks ago, I would have argued that this was nothing like that, that it was different because Pugsley was simply my friend, but I couldn't make that claim anymore, not after tonight.

And I didn't want to, so I just nodded silently in her arms.

I couldn't explain it with words, but she just had this vibe about her that was both kind and dangerous at the same time, and it was honestly making me feel pretty safe all things considered.

How can this woman be such a goddess? She was like the mother that everybody wanted in their lives, and I guess I was just lucky enough to be treated like a child by her, and I honestly didn't want to let go, but I knew I had to at some point.

I reluctantly started to pull my body away from her, and her arms unwrap themselves from my frame to let me step back a bit, and she gave me a once over with her eyes, and one of her hands came up to brush a strand of stray hair away from my face.

Every small movement she did was reminding me more and more of him, and it was killing me.

"Oh my dear, you look exhausted... Why don't you go up and get some rest, we'll let you know if anything changes."

I send her one final short nod with a bit of a forced smile, and she moves to disappear back into the office, leaving me in the hallway by myself again, and I turn on my heels quietly before making steps back towards the staircase up to my floor.

The moonlight had shifted a little bit in the time that I had been standing over there, and it now shone down on the dress that waiting on the railing for me, but tonight I couldn't bring myself to find any comfort in it.

When I reached the bottom step, I realized I should probably text Eugene to tell him I have my keys now so that he didn't get worried if I didn't show up at his room after all. The last thing I need right now is another person checking in on me when all I wanted was to curl into a ball and cry.

I pulled my phone out from my purse, not letting myself stare at my lock screen for too long before I unlocked it, pulling up Eugene's contact and typing out a short message.

'Got my keys, I'll see you in the morning.'

It didn't take long for his status to switch to online, and my message was seen almost as quickly as I sent it. And I think he might have been pretty tired, because instead of typing anything back to me, he simply left a heart on my text before he went offline again.

I was glad he just left it at that, because I was in serious need of sleep, and that was my top priority right now over anything else. Once the morning comes, then I can start thinking about ways I can help find Pugsley, that is if there are any in the first place.

I picked up my dress and held it over my arm as I skipped up the stairs two at a time, making my journey up to my room faster, and I kept my steps along the nails in the floorboards out of habit to make it so I didn't cause any noise in the dead silence of the night.

My door soon came into view where my shoes still lay on the ground outside of it, and I pluck my keys from my purse to put into the lock in the handle, making a small jingle echo in my ears as it turned with a click.

I opened the door, kicking the heels across the floor just far enough inside that they didn't get caught when I closed it again, and I let out a deep breath of relief as the familiar sight of my room graces my eyes. 

Home sweet home.

Well, almost. 

When the night started, I'd never thought I'd be walking back into this room by myself, let alone know that there wouldn't even be a smiling boy waiting for me on the inside this time.

I walk over to my bed quietly, chucking the dress onto the end of it atop of my covers, along with my keys and phone that made the fabric cave around them, and I sigh as I turn my head to look out the window next to my headboard.

I knew I should just get into bed and call it a night, but there was this persistent voice in the back of my head that was telling me I should be doing more right now to try and find Pugsley, and I couldn't get it to shut up, no matter what I did.

My gaze travels back over my shoulder to his side of the room, and locks on his desk where a few stray pieces of paper still lay atop of the wood, and a thought crossed my mind.

I remembered back to that first night he stayed here, and how he'd found an old map to study it in hopes of figuring out where the skull tree was, even after I had told him not to, he still went ahead and dug up that freaking zombie.

And honestly I was kind of glad he went against my warning, because I don't think my life would have been as interesting if he had left it alone. I mean yeah sure it hasn't exactly been all sunshine and rainbows, but I did have to admit that it was kind of fun to go through all of that together.

But if he had done research on the grounds, then maybe...

I turn my body fully to face his area of the dorm, and my desire to find out if my idea was right, won out over wanting to sleep, yet again.

My footsteps were a little louder this time as the floor squeaked under my weight, and I was quick to stand in front of his desk, and I started to rummage through the various bits of paper and books that he had stacked up in the shelves above it, trying to find anything I could about where Slurp could have taken him.

It was a long shot, but it was worth it if I could have even just the slightest hint to his whereabouts. Literally anything would do, I just needed something.

But the longer that I looked in every draw and nook that I could, the more I could feel my hope start to fade, as I found absolutely nothing.

Except the very odd sticky note attached to the front of one of his textbooks that wrote,

'Do caterpillars know that they're going to be butterflies or do they build the cocoon not knowing what will happen?'

What the fuck?

I snort as I read over it again, and I shake my head softly before going back to the task at hand.

That boy is weird, I can say that much. But it's good, I like that about him, even if the questions he asks sometimes are a tad bit...odd. And I have a feeling that I'm going to be thinking about that one for a while. It's the kind of thought that keeps you up at night until it drives you practically insane trying to figure out the answer.

Dammit.

There's nothing here, I've looked through everything and still, nada. I knew it was possible that I was getting my hopes up too far with this idea, but it was the only one I had.

I sigh, taking steps backwards in the direction of Pugsley's bed until the back of my legs hit the mattress, and I let my body sit down onto the comfortable surface, but I feel something in my back pocket digging into my butt that I had forgotten about until now.

Right, his phone.

I lift myself off the bed just enough to take the device out from under me, and I lift it up to inspect it in my hands as my body comes back up to sit cross legged on top of his sheets. 

I haven't actually had the chance to see what he's got on here, and I know I probably shouldn't look, seeing as it kind of invades his privacy a little bit, but I'm just curious okay? It's not like I'm going to snoop through the entire thing, just some of it.

But when I turned the screen on, I realized that it was going to be as far as I got. Not because I didn't think I could guess his password on a whim, trust me I definitely could if I wanted to. Nor was it because I decided what I was doing was over the line, I mean yes if it were anyone else it probably would be, but this was Pugsley, the dude hates hiding stuff from me.

No, the reason I couldn't bring myself to move my hand to unlock this thing, was because of the photo shining from the screen up at my eyes, the one that he had put here so it was the first thing he saw when he opened his phone.

It was me.

That dumbass photo I had let him take of me in 0.5 the other day when he told me he needed a picture for my contact, and this dork went and put it as his lock screen too.

I felt that familiar lump forming in my throat, and my free hand came up to wipe away the tiny droplet of a tear forming in the corners of either one of my eyes, and I placed the phone back down onto the bed facing away from me as both of my hands covered my face, and I could feel my composure starting to slowly crack.

"God why do you have to be like this, dummy..."

My words came out as more of a half choked sob, half sniffle.

You know what, no this is on me for thinking that I could get through this night without breaking again, because I've been acting like I'm okay with this for too long.

And I'm not. I'm not okay at all.

My best friend is nowhere to be found, and I'm sitting here in his bed crying because I can't do shit about it that wouldn't put me or other people in danger, and it's breaking me piece by piece the more I think of it, because there were so many things I could have said that would have stopped him from leaving. And I said nothing.

My body fell down onto the soft pile of sheets atop of his bed, and my head got buried in the familiar scent of green apples and sawdust that had been burned into his pillow, and I let the tears flow into the fabric underneath me.

I just want him back...

I want my moon back.

And that night, for the first time in what felt like forever,

I cried myself to sleep.