Chapter 12

{AN: OH MY GOSH. 2 0 0 r e a d s . I'm so happy guys tysm!!<3 PLEASE keep reading! I have some pretty great stuff planned, you know after Lou 'dies' down a little! no no I shouldn't say that... sry omg. well keep reading!! I love you! The pic of Zoe is from her "It All Gets A Bit Too Much Sometimes" video. I honestly love all of you so much. xx-erin}

"I love you so much Macey Fulson, you have no idea." Louis grabs my hand and walks down the sidewalks of London with me.

"Louis Tomlinson, you're amazing." I say. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Oh! we're here!" Louis turns left off the sidewalk into the restaurant known as "Subway". "oh, Subway, you're so classy babe." I tell Lou.

"Hey, it's food." He laughs causing me to laugh along, too.

Louis orders a steak and bacon melt with Swiss cheese and hugs my waist. he squeezes tightly and I wince. "I'm never going to let you go." he whispers. "Ever."

"I freaking love you Louis William Tomlinson." I say.

"I freaking love you Macey Grey Fulson." he replies.

I giggle,"how'd you know my middle name?" I question. "I know everything about you, babe." Lou hugs tighter.

But after a while, his grip loosens, and he lets go. I frown and look around. He's gone. My hand is itchy so I look at it. in blood, there is : i'm dead. -LWT.

I awoke shivering in sweat and hot tears streaming from my face. I put my hair in a messy bun and take a breather to recope. He's really and truly dead. "come back." I whisper. "I miss you. I miss you so much."

"Macey!" my dad calls from down the stairs.

"Yeah?" I say, my voice cracking.

"It's time to go to your therapy!" he said.

"No! I'm not going to that stupid place! not now an not ever! God, the guy I love just died! leave me alone!" I yell hiding under the covers.

He doesn't answer, all I hear is a door slam.

I'm wearing Louis' tee shirt and sweatpants. they still smell like him. The familiar smell of warm sweets. I miss the taste of bubble gum when we kissed. how his hair felt like smooth grass in a meadow. Everything makes me think of him.

Zayn barges through the door.

"Babe! Come here." he says jumping onto my bed. "I have cookie dough ice cream and chocolate and a really soft pillow. C'mon!" he yanks me to sit up.

He gives me a spoon and reluctantly, I take a giant scoop of cookie Dough ice cream. Surprisingly it helps. Zayn always knows how to help.

I hug him and continue to stuff my face. "Babe what do I do? I'm more broken than I've ever been... I'm lost... I don't even know what on earth I'm even feeling. I'm just... empty.." I whimper.

"Eat your feelings." Zayn smiles giving the tub of ice cream.

"I don't think any amount of food can lessen my pain. There's a black Hole in my heart. Even if I said I hated him I didn't mean it! I only hated him because I loved him more than life..." I threw my head into the Ice cream in attempt to cool off. it now taste salty not to mention the dessert on my face.

"Babe I have something to confess. It might not be the best time but I can't hold it in anymore." he seems teary eyed.

"What is it babe?" I swing my legs on his.

"I love you. I don't like seeing you in this pain. I could treat you so much better Mace. I've loved you for as long as I can remember. Perrie isn't you, so don't say 'you have perrie' because I love no one like I love you. it hurt so much to see you happy with someone else but it hurts so much worse to see you in so much hurt. I've tried so hard the last 10 years and you haven't noticed." He's really crying now.

Oh my God.

Zayn loves me.

Zayn loves me.

"Zayn...." I say.

His eyes glisten as he looks up at me.

I don't even know what to say.

"I don't know how to feel right now babe," I say.

"Don't kick me out." he says.

"I could never kick you out. You're my best friend." I smile and hug him.

Zayn has always loved me. From the moment he punched Tom for me. He's loved me throughout everything. He loves me. Zayn Javvad Malik loves me. He's always been there. He never hesitated not one little bit to come to my rescue.

Zayn has always loved me.