Chapter 10

{AN: you guys plz don't kill me for lou's death.:( I love you.}

HARRY'S P.O.V

I should probably check on Louis. He didn't look so good when he ran out of my flat.

"Abs, I'm gonna go check on him!" I say.

"Okay! be back soon babe!" she yells back.

I walk out and head to Lou's 5 blocks away. I knock-no answer. "Louis! it's me, Harry! open up!" I say. after knocking again, I just barge in.

"Lou?" I call when I enter,"You here?"

I go into the kitchen. I really hope my eyes are playing tricks on me. "Louis! Louis! Oh my God Louis answer me!" I scream as I examine his bloody burnt body,"Please don't be dead! Oh God please don't be dead!" I cry. right beside his shoulder, a note read:

Dear everyone, especially Macey,

I'll miss you. I love you. I just, I can't handle how much of a jerk I was to Macey. I can't live with it. So I wont.

-Louis W. Tomlinson

"Oh my God Louis tell me you didn't kill yourself! tell me! Louis answer me!" I lay down, into his puddle if blood, not caring if I lived or died wither. He was my not just my cousin, he was my best friend. And now, he's dead.

I should call Macey. Just to tell her.

MACEY'S P.O.V

Thank God they left.

My phone buzzes beside me.

Louis

Decline. Answer.

I press decline. It goes off slight less again, this time a text.

Louis// it's harry. I'm at Louis' flat and he's done something terrible. just please, even if you hate him, I assure you you want to know this. get here asap. please. It's urgent. -Harry

Me// what is it?

Louis// just get here. now. -Harry

Me// I can't just leave the hospital.

Louis// you'll have to for this. louis is done. -Harry

Me// what? done? what do you mean by that??

Louis// just get here.

Me//okay..

What could be this important? and what did he mean by 'louis' done'?

I press the nurse help button.

"Hi Macey," Lottie says when she arrives.

"Hey, is there any way I can get out of here for a couple hours?" I ask.

"There's the patient's outing policy, you get 2 hours out when the doctor approves you." she says.

"Can the doctor approve me? it's massive." I say.

"If it's a family problem I could release you." she says.

I have to get to Louis.

"It's my boyfriend, he has an emergency." I manage to croak out of my throat.

"Okay, I approve you, remember, 2 hours." she nods.

I get up and Change into my black skinny jeans and blue baggy tee and Converse. I head to Louis'.

***

When I arrive, I yell,"Lou?! Harry?!"

"In here!" A cry comes from the kitchen. i rush in.

"No..." I whisper. I feel the tears building up in my eyes. "Louis, if this is a sick prank for me to remember how much I love you, end it! stop faking dead and take the burn makeup off! please Louis, be alive..." i wrap my fingers in his shirt, laying on top of him.

"Macey, he's really gone. He isn't faking it. He killed himself." Harry looks truly hurt.

"No-h-he he can't be.. i-I I love him..." I say in between rapid breaths. I grab his cheeks, still warm, and kiss him one last time. he can't kiss me back, but I move my mouth into his. He doesn't move. "Were you here when he did this?" I'm too hurt to be angry.

"No, I walked in here, and this note was beside him." he gives me a note reading:

Dear everyone, especially Macey,

I'll miss you. I love you. I just, I can't handle how much of a jerk I was to Macey. I can't live with it. So I wont.

-Louis W. Tomlinson

"This is my fault." I say,"this is my fault! He killed himself because of me!

I am an idiot! Louis, come back! I'm so sorry," I scream.

"It's too late for sorries. now, it's time for good-byes. He's gone macey," Harry still has tears running down his cheeks. "he's gone" he says as if he's trying to make himself believe it, not me.

"I love him more than anyone in the world harry, I don't care if he cheated, I love him! I want him back! just so I can cuddle with him one last time and to kiss him with him kissing back one more time, to see his smile, to see him walking, to see him saying he loves me, all just one last time. I need him like I need air, Harry. God, he was my air."

"He said the exact same thing about you. the needing like air and you are his air thing- you just said it word for word..." Harry whimpered.

And for a moment, I forget where I am. I forget Louis' dead, I forget everything. Except, one time when Louis took me to the skating rink at Christmas time 4 years ago. Our parents drove us; we'd just began dating.

While we were skating, our little 7th grade selves, I fell flat on my bum. Louis stopped skating and sat down in the middle of the rink with me. He brought my forehead to his and kissed me, and although it felt well below 0°, he sent a warm bolt of electricity up my spine. We pulled away, our foreheads still touching, and he said,"Macey Fayett, I will die loving you just as much as I do right now if not more." and I simply smiled while we regained our skating positions.

He did die loving me. I love him too. But it's too late. it's too late to apologize; he's gone.

My phone buzzed.

Niall// at hospital. where are you baby?

Me// had an emergency.

Niall// what kind?

Me// Louis

Niall// I don't want you talking to him baby. I'm sorry.

Me// don't worry about it. he's gone. I can't talk to him.

Niall// what?

Me// be back soon. xx

I still can't believe it. Louis William Tomlinson, my love since 13 years old, is dead. From his own hands. and it's my fault.

It's been almost an hour and a half at least since I left the hospital.

"Harry, I need to get back. Leave him here. I don't want him moved," I whine while exiting slowly out the large door.

I leisurely stride to the hospital sniffling. This has to be a nightmare, it can't be real. Louis can't be gone. He wouldn't do something as selfish as suicide- would he? he'd realized before that suicide was a permanent answer to a temporary problem. it just stops the chances of things getting better. he knew that, right? he would have thought of how sad I'd be, right? I feel like I don't know him at all. I just want him to hold me so I can say 'i love you' one last time. I look at my phone's camera roll on videos. There's one of Lou in an album all by itself I'd never seen before, but it said it'd been there for 8 months. I took a deep breath and pressed play.

It began with Lou's laugh. his cheeky little laugh. Then he said,"So, you're in the 'Lou' right now, haha get it? no that sounds bad!" he laughed. "Well you're in the bathroom, and I just wanted to tell you that I love you more than anyone in the world. I love you just as much and more as I did when I told you at the skating rink in 7th grade, and I'm keeping the promise that i'll die loving you. I never never never want you to be sad. You're my princess. Have a great day baby!"

Tears are flowing freely down my face by the end of the video. "I love you too," I say to my phone, the video replaying.

***

Niall is sitting in my hospital room when I get there. I try to hide my red and splotchy face.

"Baby, why have you been crying?" He strokes my cheek. he says baby like Lou did..

"Louis- Lou -L Lou is d -dead," I manage to get out. The tears just hit me harder. "h-he killed him-himself!"

"So?" Niall says. how can he say that? "I thought you were done with him and hated him."

"Get out. Get out now Niall Horan or I swear to God I will punch you," I say through gritted teeth. He says nothing but,"i love you," and walks out. I begin to pour tears larger than Niagra Falls. I don't know what to do.

{AN: hey hey hey hey hey! I cried writing this part too omg:((( I'm so sorry this had to happen. It'll take Macey and long time to get over though. I love you guys! vote& comment! xx-erin}