(Chapter Eight)

Towards the end it might get a little intense. Just an FYI

CAMILA'S POV______

The next morning after our night out I woke up before any of the girls and decided to leave, I had some blackout moments and I didn't feel like listening to Dinah talk about how I made a fool of myself and I really didn't want to face Lauren. I called an Uber and left a note for Dinah letting her know I was okay and to just text me later and next to Lauren I left a note with a small dandelion on top of it, I kissed her cheek goodbye and headed outside to wait for my ride.

When I got home I could hear the sound of a guitar playing from the back room where Shawn usually was, As I headed to the sound of the strings strumming I saw two bags thrown on the hallway. He was home early, I couldn't help but feel disappointed that he was here a day earlier. I loved Shawn but I wanted some time alone to really process last night.

"Babe?" I heard his voice echo through the hallway as the sound of the guitar stopped and I could hear him place it down on the ground. "Hey, You're here early" I said entering the room, His face lit up as he saw me. He jumped off his sit and wrapped me around his arms lifting me off the ground as he usually did before he kissed me hello, His lips were soft and I could taste a slight hint of alcohol on them. "Did you drink before coming home?" I asked, As he put me down, Ignoring my question.

"Where were you? Did you not spend the night here?" he asked, his mood immediately changing to a more annoyed and upset Shawn. I started turning around ready to exit the room when he forcefully grabbed me by my wrist turning me back around to face him. "Did you not hear me?" he said sounding even more upset than before. "I- I was at Dinah's. We had a movie night and Ally was there too. I guess I lost track of time and spend the night there. I-I Didn't know you were going to be here today. S-Sorry." I lied and apologized feeling his grip loosen from my wrist, His fingers marked leaving already a small bruise on it.

"It's okay I just expected MY wife to be home, But it's fine. I said I would give them another chance so whatever just don't do it again. Next time I want you here okay?" I nodded my head before walking towards our room. I took a sit on our bed and Shawn entered the room. His eyes roaming my body hungrily before he took a step closer to me, he pushed me back as he got on top of me. I felt his lips kissing my now bruised wrist "Sorry" he whispered, kissing my neck all the way to my ear. "I love you Camila" he whispered, kissing my cheek then my lips. I was not on the mood, I was exhausted and had a headache from all the drinking of the night before.

"Not right now" I said, pushing him back and away from me, His face turned into a dark expression I had seen plenty of times before on the last year of marriage. "What you don't want me anymore? Am I not attractive? Are you fucking someone else?" he started screaming, grabbing both my arms placing them on top of my head as he started sucking on my neck harder and harder. " You are MY wife and you will do what I say when I say it. Understood?" he said, removing himself from top of me and walking away, I heard the front door slam loudly and then then the garage door opened as I heard his car pulling away from the front yard and down the street.

Tears started streaming down my face, soft then hard. I got married to Shawn a year ago, My dad had recently passed away from a heart condition leaving my mom, little sister and I by ourselves. I had known Shawn for about 5 years, I never saw him as more than a friend but after my dad passed he was always there for me and my mom, he never left my side. We became closer and closer and I eventually fell for him, we got married because he came from a wealthy family and my mom and I were struggling, a lot. But that's not the only reason why I married him, I was In love at least I thought I was. He bought my mom a house 2 hours away from us and she lived there with my little sister Sofi, I didn't see them as often as before but we talked all the time.

6 months after we got married, Shawn started changing his mood became more irritable and he became more aggressive with me he wasn't the sweet guy I once knew. I knew it was because of his alcohol abuse he started drinking after he started his new job as a pilot, he would always get drunk right after landing. He said he was stressed and the pressure that job required was sometimes too overwhelming. I contacted Ally and Dinah two months back wanting to bring them back into my life after a year of not having any contact with them besides a few how are you, Shawn cut me off from everybody except my mom and Sofi, he said I didn't need friends or anyone else for that matter, just him. Shawn would always say they weren't really my friends because they partied too much and still hadn't settled down.

But, We were young we were all barely 21 I think we just settled down way too early, but there was no going back. Divorce wasn't an option at this point and I just had to deal with it, I was glad to have my 2 best friends back and even more glad I had gained 2 other amazing people. Normani and Lauren, Lauren was like a glass of fresh cold water after running in the heat for miles. She made me feel different, she made me feel loved and appreciated and she cared about me. We had been hanging out on and off for about a month now, I loved when Shawn was gone because I got to be with all my girls more often.

But the other night at the strip club something changed in me when I saw Lauren with that brunette dancer I was, jealous. I didn't know why, I had no explanation of all the things Lauren made me feel. She was an amazing friend, I was glad I had her in my life. Not just her but all of them. Shawn came back later on that night, drunk out of his mind I had locked myself inside the guest room not really wanting to deal with another of his violent outbursts. He had never hit me, he forcefully grabbed me or yelled but he had never hit me he was getting closer and closer by the night though. Every time he got drunk he would come closer to putting a hand on me, I was scared of my own husband at this point. I heard him struggle into our room and then silence. He had probably passed out, Thank god I whispered.

The next morning I had a few texts from Dinah asking me why I had left and if we could hang out I had to say I couldn't because Shawn was home, She asked when he was leaving again and thankfully he was going to be gone for 2 weeks, He was leaving next Friday and Dinah was more than excited to have me for 14 days. Lauren never sent me anything, I knew why. My husband was the reason she had told me she didn't want to get me in trouble or for him to think something that wasn't so I understood her silence. I opened the door from the guest room and I didn't hear him he probably left to buy more bottles. I spend most of my day texting Dinah and Ally, I asked about Lauren and Dinah had said she was a little sad I had just left like that but after reading my note she understood, she said she had framed my dandelion that dork I thought.

We were planning for the next 2 weeks ahead, the 5 of us were going to be spending a lot of time together. They all had a week off from work so we had planned a small road trip to Orlando, Dinah had family there and they were the greatest people you'll ever meet. I was excited to see her mom again and just the other 50 people that lived at her house. Shawn came back late as always and of course, drunk. "Hey!" he screamed as he entered the house and into the living room where I was sitting.

"Hi" I said back not wanting to talk to him. "Are you gonna kiss me hello or what?" he asked approaching me, falling next to me on the couch, I leaned forward giving him a peck on his lips tasting the disgusting taste of whiskey. "You're drunk Shawn, go to bed" I said looking at him swinging side to side not even able to sit up straight. "Don't ever tell me what to do, kiss me again" he slurred out, pulling himself closer to me grabbing me by my waist throwing me back to the couch, my legs around his waist, his hands both around my neck as he pushed his mouth on mine. "Shawn stop" I said trying to push him off of me.

"You're mine" he said as I felt his grip around my neck tighten a little bit more, his tongue darted inside my mouth, and I decided to just go with it scared of what he would do on his drunken state of mind. He released me as he got up and removed his t-shirt, his abs marked and his pilot wings tattoo visible on his chest. He removed my shirt and bra next and I couldn't help not feel attracted to him, he was rough at times but I needed to feel him close. I had felt so alone this past few months I needed this, I started unzipping his jeans as he removed them taking off my shorts and underwear. "I love you" he whispered in my ear as I felt his hand moved down and inside me.

His two fingers going in and out of me making me wetter and wetter, "I love you too" I moaned into his ear. He kissed my neck more passionately his hand getting more momentum and speeding with every moan I let out, my hands were scratching his back leaving my nails marked on it. My mind went into a place I didn't want to, more like a person. Lauren, All I could see at this moment was Lauren. I tried shaking it off, why was I thinking about her now, why now? when I was making love to my husband? I shake my head once more, pushing Shawn off and into his back.

I loved being in control and I always was, I got on top of him removing his underwear his penis big and hard. I was not in the mood anymore, I couldn't shake Lauren's face off my mind. I closed my eyes and started sucking on his penis I could hear his silent moans as he grabbed me by my hair pushing me further into him. After a few minutes he let go and I got up as I straddled him, I could feel him inside of me as he started moving his hips. Gaining more momentum, I placed both my hands on his chest as he started going faster his moans getting louder as he came closer to his climax, after a few minutes he eventually did. I leaned forward kissing him on the lips before getting off and headed to the shower.

I stood under the water for a few minutes, trying to think why Lauren was on my mind. I missed her, I missed all of them. Shawn was asleep when I got out of the bathroom, I threw a cover over him and kissed him on the forehead before heading to bed. Sex with Shawn was okay I guess, He had never taken me all the way. I had never felt what he felt when he reached the top of his climax I have heard about orgasms but never felt one, after a year he hadn't made me feel anything. He didn't know that of course I had to fake it every time, but it wasn't his fault I'm sure it was all me. I sent Dinah a goodnight text before finally falling asleep.

Friday afternoon had finally arrived this had been a slow boring week, I spent most days with Shawn or home alone watching Friends on Netflix or getting random texts from Dinah and Ally counting down the days until Shawn was gone for 14 days, it was finally that day. I was at the airport dropping him off once again. "I'm gonna miss you babe, take care and don't do anything stupid" he whispered in my ear, "I find out about everything" he said as he embraced me in a hug. "I wont, have a safe flight. I'll miss you too. See you in two weeks babe" I whispered back, holding on to him. "Okay I have to go, i'll text you when I land, see you in 14 days babe, love you" he said one last time before kissing me on my lips and walking away.

I stood there waving goodbye every time he turned around, I was finally free I thought I huge smile on my face as he disappeared inside the airport and I turned around ready to head to Lauren's house after a week of not seeing or hearing from her, I couldn't help the way I was feeling. I had never been more excited to see someone my stomach was a mess and my brain kept replaying her beautiful green eyes. I couldn't wait to see her in person once again, hug her, take in her scent, listen to her laugh. My Lauren, I thought.

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A/N: Guys, I'm so emo right now. 4 years of fifth harmony tomorrow and their tour starts. We ain't even ready. Who's going to their tour and where? ((:

LOVE ONLY.. <3