𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛

ＪＡＣＫ°

"I was right wasn't I?" Anna gave us a huge grin.

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows and turned to Elsa who was now red as a tomato. I suddenly remembered last night when Elsa and I gave our confessions to each other. 

She loves me. Can you believe it? Elsa, this amazing wonderful brave smart gorgeous woman. I feel like I'm forgetting an adjective to describe her more. She's just... she's everything. What did I do to get her to feel that way towards me?

"When are the wedding bells going to chime?" Anna nudged Elsa playfully.

"Wedding bells?" My eyes widened and turned to Anna. 

She laughed hysterically, letting out a snort occasionally. "You should see your faces." She said, barely being able to talk because she ran out of breath from all the laughing.

"We're not-"

"I know, I know. Too soon." Anna rolled her eyes. "I'm just kidding. Learn to lighten up Elsa." She said. 

"I knew that." Elsa said defensively, though her very red cheeks and ears says the contrary. Wait, did she think?

"Sure, Elsa." Anna gave her a look. 

Elsa then cleared her throat. "Did you come here just to tease us?" Elsa raised an eyebrow, her hands crossed in front of her.

"Oh, right. I was gonna tell you Kristoff and I are gonna head to the Arendelle Castle for a bit to grab some supplies. We are getting a little crowded around here." She said. I followed both their eyes. They're right, now that the Northuldrans are here too, there are more people we need to tend to.

"I'll come with you." Elsa instantly stepped in.

As an instinct I also stepped forward. "Me too." They both looked at me. "I could help carry more supplies. With the wind's help." I added, sounding a bit nervous.

"Actually Elsa, I'm gonna have to ask you to stay here. Help the Northuldrans and Arendellians get to know each other." Anna said. "But Jack I'd appreciate the help."

Hearing that Elsa would stay made me both relieved and a bit disappointed. I'm glad she'd be out of harm's way but I was kind looking forward to going out with her.

"We'll go after breakfast." Anna waved goodbye. 

"Okay, I'll be right at the entrance." I said, waving as well.

"You're not joining us for breakfast?" Elsa asked.

"Oh, I kinda don't really have to eat?" I scratched the back of my neck.

"Right." Elsa nodded. "I kinda forgot." She laughed.

There was a short awkward silence when we both didn't know what to say or do. We already finished the task we were doing earlier so we didn't have anything to distract us.

"Oh, I have to get something." Elsa stood up from her seat suddenly. "Wait right here." She said running of to somewhere.

Was that just a way to get out of the awkward silence? If it was, that was genius.

A few Northuldrans passed me on their way to the massive ice table Elsa made for the food to set down to. They all greeted me with a smile, some kids would wave at me hello, and the amount of people that asked me to join them was surprisingly high. 

I was starting to think Elsa went ahead and ate breakfast with everyone until she came back to where I was almost out of breath.

"Sorry I took so long." She panted. 

"Are you okay? How long have you been running?" I asked, assisting her to sit down. 

"I'm fine. I wanted to give you this." She took out a pendant. The pendant she lent one of the Northuldrans that night. "You're gonna go out there so I got it back. It's going to keep you safe right?"

I smiled as I accepted it from her hand. "Yeah. This will keep me very safe." I said. I felt something in the pit of my stomach as I remembered the time I panicked finding out she didn't have it.

"I'll be safe inside the barrier here so you won't have to worry about me." Elsa gave me a smile.

I didn't really know how to put my emotions to words so instead, I hugged her very tightly. "I'll be back before you know it." I told her.

I felt her hug me back. "I'll be waiting." She said.

***

The trip wasn't that long but it felt like it was. The only thing I had to do was stand outside the castle really.

They said it's for when fearlings try to sneak on us, which is kinda impossible given that it's daytime.

But then again, I remembered Honeymaren. It happened in broad daylight. The impossible happened.

"Alright, let's go." I heard Anna say, i can hear her struggling. I turned around and saw her pulling a sack full of something. Must be food ingredients since it looked so lumpy.

"Gale, you might wanna help the queen out." I whispered to the wind.

"Ooh!" Anna let out a surprised scream, almost slipping after the wind swept the sack off the ground. "Thank you." Anna said giggling as she pulled the sack once more towards the sled, this time with much more ease.

Not long after Kristoff was came in lifting two large sacks, larger than the one Anna had.

"Show off." I heard Anna scoff.

"What?" Kristoff raised an eyebrow as he set the sacks down.

"Nothing, I said I love you." Anna said, playfully pecking Kristoff's cheek before riding on the sled.

"Yeah I know, love you too." Kristoff said coolly as he sat beside her. Oh to be a married couple that says that on the regular.

I barely managed to say that to Elsa last bight yet here they are saying it like it's just part of a daily routine, which it probably is for them.

"Jack, you comin?" Anna asked, looking over to me. I flew my way to the back seat. "Ready." I said.

***

There are two things I wished I knew sooner.

One, I wish I knew how Elsa felt towards me. I know she told me now, but I know things would've went vastly differently if I knew sooner.

And two, I wish I already knew the feeling of being loved like this. I don't know, there's happiness but also a sense of burden tied to it. Not that I think of Elsa's feelings as a burden, but I just can't shake off the feeling on my chest specially with our situation right now.

"I heard from Grand Pabbie." Elsa said as she approached me.

Dinner was already over, everyone was heading to bed. As someone who doesn't require sleep, I volunteered to keep watch.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed by now?" I asked Elsa.

"I can't sleep." She said, standing beside me. One of her hand was on her arm, massaging it as she looked down.

"Why? Did you have a nightmare? Are you okay? What happened?" I asked her, my attention now focused on her.

She was quiet. A little too quiet.

"Elsa." I held out my hands, hoping she'll take them. She did set on of her hands on mine but her eyes were focused on the ground.

She's trembling.

"Are you cold? Should we get inside?" I asked, ready to assist her to her designated tent.

"I wish it was just a nightmare." I heard her mumble. Or at least I think that's what she said.

"What?" I asked.

"Tell me, you're not asking for you memories to be erased again." She looked at me, straight at my eyes as her tears threatened to fall.

"What? No. Elsa I-"

"Grand Pabbie told me you were asking about a procedure like last time. You locked your memories of Arendelle out last time, that was because of me wasn't it? It was fearlings too." Elsa said.

"Wait Elsa let me explain-"

"Alright, I'll listen. Tell me why you asked Grand Pabbie to not tell me about this decision. Is this because of the pendant? I promise I won't do it again so please-"

"Elsa listen to me." I held both her shoulders. "It's not because of that. I just think it's dangerous for me to stay here. I may have cause the fearlings to come in the first place." I explained.

"Look, I'm not doing that to run away. I'm not gonna leave until Arendelle and Northuldra is back to the way it was, free of fearlings. We'll get Honeymaren and all the other kids back." I said.

She was silent again. No response, she's not even making eye contact with me.

"I was asking about it because I thought maybe if I forgot about Arendelle, the fear inside me would go away. Maybe if it does the fearlings will too." I said. Wishful thinking, I know.

"What if it doesn't?" She finally spoke up.

"Then... I don't know." I admitted.

"You'll have just forgotten all of us, all of this." She gestured around us. "All for nothing."

"I know, that's why I only consulted with Grand Pabbie. It was just a thought and I thought maybe it was the answer and I-"

"Would've lost part of your memory again because of me." Elsa cut my sentence off.

"No. No, it's not you Elsa. There are things I put in factor with and maybe you're part of it was it's not all you so don't blame yourself. Stop blaming yourself." I told her.

"But it's true isn't it? It was my fault on the first time around. Maybe it was because of that incident with the pendant." Elsa insisted.

"I told you I'm not mad about that. I was just worried." I tried assuring her.

"Yes I know. You were worried. But I don't know Jack, you started acting like this after that incident and it's hard not to think it's related." Her cheeks were red out of frustration, maybe even anger, and tears were not showing any signs of stopping.This is exactly why I didn't want Elsa to know about it.

I didn't know what to say. She was right. It was that incident that made me conclude this.

That maybe if I get rid of the fear of losing her, I'd get rid of the fearlings. But the only way I thought of getting rid of that fear was getting rid of these feelings.

Back then I didn't know she felt the same though. I didn't know I wasn't the only one. I didn't know that maybe it had the chance.

"I don't wanna be the cause of any more memory alterations. Being the reason twice is enough." She said with a weak voice.

I sighed, kissed her forehead and gave her a hug.

"I don't really want to forget any of this anyway." I told her as I stroked her hair.

Not now. Not yet.