Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Tammy. A girl from our lunch who sits at the other end of the table. We weren't good friends, we really didn't talk much at all. Tammy stood there with a sympathetic face, "I never knew- I never would've imagined. I mean you're so strong. But I'm so sorry," she starts to walk over to me.

Oh my fudging gosh. Holy fuck. How could she possibly find out?

"How did you...? Wh-Wh?" I start to back away from her. Denying the facts and pushing away her sympathy.

"Look, it's a long story, I won't tell anyone but please talk to me if you need it," she puts her hands out in front of her as if saying truce.

"I'm fine really, I've learned to live with this adjustment. I like it here and I'm slowly forgetting about my life back in Chicago." I took long pauses between sentences trying to figure this out in my head and wishing it was some sort of dream. "I'm sorry I didn't tell people, I didn't tell anyone... I just don't want anyone to know. But how did you find out?"

"It's a long story I'll save for another time, let's party hun."

Oh great the famous hun, which is a synonym for; champ, dear, baby, and sweetheart.

I don't need sympathy especially from her. I didn't want someone who I didn't know to have something against me or held above my head.

I try my best to forget about her knowing and continue back in to the house to party. I dance to a couple more songs until my mom pulls up to the house to pick me up. I take my things and head to the door as I ask Sam if he needs a ride home. He claims he doesn't and that he has a friend that is picking him up later.

I drive back home silently mostly. My mom was asking questions and I give simple answers.

When I get home and after I shower, the fact that someone now knows about James could not erase from my brain.

That moment keeps replaying over and over. Every time it stung my eyes more and more. Every time it repeated, tears started to stain my eyes and then my cheeks.

I have always been a REALLY strong girl. I cried maybe once a year, but two times in one day was a record for me ever since I was a baby.

I rap myself into a bundle of blankets as I was falling asleep still allowing tear after tear to roll down my cheek onto my pillow.

That night along with the other days and nights occur. The weekend passing slowly. I turn my phone off the whole two days, not allowing myself to communicate with anyone. I change from sweatpants to another pair and from hoodie to noodie.

I barely spoke or ate, I just watch old movies and classics. I watch a few Disney princess' sing and dance then watch a crime fighting dog and his gang. I watch tons of comforting favorites and let myself have some time off.

I don't really care if people know about that past, I just didn't and don't want the sympathy. I was doing alright and the last thing I need is people always reminding me of that rough patch.

Monday comes and I barely have enough strength from the weekend to get up and get dressed. But I do. I wore something more casual and don't put nearly as much make up on. I know my careless attitude would wear off in a couple of days but for now I let myself be.

Monday starts as every Monday did. It was boring and I couldn't wait for lunch. But now, instead of being excited for Spanish I was dreading it.

When 2nd period came around and I had knots tying in my stomach. Xander wasn't there. I was going to text him, but class starts so I have to slip my phone away.

That class goes by fast with not only thoughts of Jack but now Xander. And worst the thoughts of James. I don't want things to change but now everything was about to. Either my life was about to take a turn for the better or ruin everything.