Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

 

 - Liam's POV -

 

Day 14:

I opened my eyes to an empty bed. Just me and the sheets. Alone. Where was he? I had no idea. I got out of bed and checked the bathroom:

Nothing.

I looked outside my door and down the hall:

Nothing.

I went to his room and knocked on the door:

No answer.

I went inside and found nothing. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen:

Nothing.

I checked the lounge, the dining room, the downstairs bathroom, the fridge where we leave notes for each other if someone goes out, even the backyard.

Nothing.

Something didn’t feel right. My heart was starting to pound inside my chest. I began to panic.

“Niall?!” I screamed out; desperate for an answer.

Nothing.

I ran back upstairs and burst into Louis’ room; busting the door wide open. Louis jumped up in his bed. I must have scared the shit out of him.

“Where is he?!” I screamed, more to myself than Louis. I stormed into Louis' bathroom and checked there too. Nothing. He wasn’t there.

“Where is who?!” Louis yelled back.

“Niall!” I snapped. His face changed. “I can’t find him anywhere! What if--?” I cut myself off. My eyes widened.

“What..?” Louis cautioned.

“She texted him last night...” I mouthed, covering my mouth like the worried mother I can be. Louis’ eyes widened as well.

“You don’t think...” He trailed off. I didn’t want to hear it. I ran out of his room and burst into Zayn’s. Louis ran to Harry’s room. I burst through the door and searched his bedroom and bathroom.

Nothing.

Zayn started to yell something at me but I wasn’t listening. I ran to Harry’s room to see if Niall was there. Harry appeared at the door looking just as worried as Louis and I knew that he wasn’t there either. He wasn’t anywhere.

Where the fuck is he?!

I screamed out and punched the wall next to me; leaving a huge crater behind. I stormed past Harry and Louis whose mouths were gaping as they stared at the hole I’d just made. I stormed downstairs and into the living room. I kicked the couch, then clenched my fists; digging them into my head.

“Shit!” I cursed. I heard the others coming down the stairs and calling out to me.

Louis came into the room holding his mobile phone. He was calling someone, as was Harry. Louis put the phone to his ear and waited.

“Hello?!” He yelled as soon as the phone was answered. “You’re not with Niall by any chance are you?!” He asked. He'd calmed his voice slightly. Harry shut his phone.

“No answer from Niall’s mobile.” He said, more to me than anyone else. I fell onto the couch and hung my head in my hands.

How can this be happening? I just got him back.

“Are you kidding me?!” I heard Louis snap. He sounded pissed. I looked up to see Louis’ face relax as he sighed deeply. “No. He didn’t.” He said back; looking at me.

What’s happening?

“Alright, thanks mate.” Louis said before locking his phone shut. I was on the edge of my seat.

“Niall’s gone back home.” Louis said as he shook his head to himself.

What?

“Security said that Amy had really freaked him out, so he’s gone back home for a while. Paul dropped him off at the airport over an hour ago.” Louis continued. I clenched my fists. I was shaking with rage.

“That fucking bastard.” I cursed. I stood up and walked back upstairs towards my room. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me but I didn't care anymore. I punched the wall in the same place as the first time as I stormed past it. Pieces of plaster fell to the floor. I stormed into my room and slammed the door behind me and collapsed onto my bed. I stared up at the ceiling. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I covered them with my forearm as the tears began to roll down my face. I clenched my teeth.

 You liar.

 Don't go acting like everything's fine when it isn't.

“Fucking bastard...” I choked.

 He left because of me.

-          Niall’s POV –

Day 13:

Liam shoved past Louis and ran out of the room. Everyone was silent and turned their stares to me. Louis started walking towards the door after Liam. I clenched my fists.

“Guys, I’m gonna go talk to hi--“ He started but I didn’t let him finish.

“Back off.” I warned as I pushed my hand against his chest; glaring back at him. I got right up in his face. He glared back at me. I wasn’t going to let him take advantage of the situation. I slowly backed away and ran upstairs after Liam. As I ran up the stairs I heard bunch of loud noises, followed by a scream.

I didn’t realise he was hurting because of this...

Without hesitation I opened his door and stared back at him. He was on the floor with his face buried in the sheets of his bed. He looked up and I saw the absolute terror in his eyes. He looked like he’d just killed someone. He flinched as I took a step towards him, but I didn’t stop. He wanted someone to hug him, to tell him it was alright. I wasn’t going to be that person. I was too angry.

I sat down next to him on the bed and without thinking, began to speak:

“You...” I snarled; surprised at how angry I actually was. “...how long have you been hiding this...?”

I had clenched my jaw tight and was speaking through my teeth; my fists were still clenched.

How could he not have trusted me? Why didn’t he tell me?

“You... always guarded... you look out for all of us and put everyone before yourself when you have something so dark eating you up inside...” I went on. My anger boiled to the surface as my face twisted to hold back the tears.

He doesn’t need me.

 “You fucking bastard!” I snapped. “You have no right!” Now I was screaming. Liam picked himself up off of the floor and sat down next to me. He stared back at me with what I'm guessing is shock.

“But I...” He started-

“No buts!” I screamed back. I felt the tears burning at the back of my eyes.

I told you everything, and you keep something so big from me? Don’t I matter to you at all?

“Don't you ever keep a secret like that from me again!” I broke. I slammed my fists against his chest and collapsed into him. I clung to his shirt and buried my face in his chest.

Why can’t you need me like I need you?

He put his arms around me and pulled me close. The tears began to fall and soak through his shirt.

“Fucking bastard.” I sobbed.  

Why must you toy with me?

He squeezed me tighter and my heart sped up. The kiss that we'd just shared flashed through my mind over and over again. His taste, his smell, his warmth. I could still feel his arm around my waist; pulling me against him like he was now. I could still feel his tongue in my mou-

My phone vibrated in my pocket and snapped me out of it. I opened it up to see a message from Amy. As soon as I saw her name I’d realised my mistake:

That I’d used her to separate myself from Liam. Which had only made me crave him more.

I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. He wasn’t going to get away from me again.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. He looked from the phone to me and back again; confused.

“It’s from Amy.” I managed to get out. Liam’s eyes widened and I swear I saw that same sadistic smile start to form in the corner of his mouth. He squeezed my hand back. I could tell that he was petrified of his other self. I read out the message and Liam seemed to zone out.

Speaking of Amy, why the hell didn't he and Louis just tell me about her? I mean does Liam really think I'd believe anyone over him to begin with?

That aside, I took the time to enjoy the feeling of our hands locked together as we sat in his room, alone. Finally alone. I stared at his lips. I could still feel them on mine.

Just one more...

He suddenly let go and stood up; turning to face the bathroom.

No. Don’t leave.

I broke. I reached out and grabbed at the back of his shirt:

“Wait.” I said. He stopped and turned around. I fixed my eyes to the floor; scared of what I’d do if our eyes met at that moment. Before I could stop myself, I started to speak:

“I can’t...” Let you go.

“I mean... I don’t...“ Want you to leave.

“After that...” Kiss, I can’t just let you walk away.

As hard as I'd tried to stop it, my eyes still met with his and I saw the concern for me that they were filled with. I snapped.

“I can’t be alone right now.” I mumbled; locking my eyes with his. His eyes widened and he stared back at me. His lips parted slightly, driving me closer to the edge.

“Can I sleep in here tonight..?” I asked, lips trembling. I wanted him so badly. I grabbed my arm to stop myself from yanking him on top of me and forcing that tongue of his into my mouth again.

“That’s just an empty threat. She can’t do anything...” He said softly.

He thinks I’m freaked about Amy...

I nodded slowly in response, hoping that he’d stay. He did more than that. He pulled away from me and took off his shirt. My eyes bulged and my heart started to race.

What is he doing?

He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled off his jeans as well.

Holy fuck.

He climbed under the covers and turned away from me on his side:

 “...just for tonight.” He murmured. I stared back at him, eyes still wide. I gazed at him; at his broad shoulders, his bulging arm muscles, his neck and jaw-line... Before I knew it I’d taken off my shirt as well, and I didn’t really realise what I was doing until I'd taken off my jeans and was climbing under the covers next to him. I could feel the heat of his body radiating towards me.

I want you. Now.

I grabbed his shoulder and slammed him onto his back so that he was facing the ceiling. I started to climb on top of him and realised halfway through what I was doing. I panicked. I was already reaching for his shoulder.

Fuck, what are you doing Niall?!

I ended up stopping midway and laying my head down on his chest. I could hear his heart beat. I froze.

He must be creeped out. Now I’ve done it, I’ve gone too far. He’s going to push me off, he’s going to be disgust-

I felt Liam’s arm wrap around my shoulders; pulling me closer.

What?

I lost control.

I started to slide my leg up over his. I was about to mount him. I screamed at my body to stop inside my head, and I did stop, just, but now I was practically lying on top of him. My heart was pounding inside my chest. I slowly closed my eyes and felt his other hand slide down to the small of my back and pull me even closer. I could feel him through his underwear against my leg. My heart stopped beating completely. I buried my face in his neck and it took all that I had to stop myself from pressing my lips against his skin. I breathed in his scent and moaned in frustration. I let out a yawn and stretched my arm; grabbing onto his shoulder and pulling him even closer.

 I’ll never let you go.

Day 14:

I woke up at about three AM, the light was still on. I felt something hard against my hand. I glanced down to see what I can only describe as both my hottest dream and my worst nightmare. My hand was on Liam’s crotch. And he was hard.

I froze completely. I had no idea how or why I'd gotten into this situation. I shot a glance at Liam to see that he was sound asleep.

Thank god. I must have started to... while I was asleep... and he...

I couldn’t even finish the sentence in my mind. I blushed all over. I could feel my entire body getting hotter as I started to wake up more. I moved my hand slightly; intending to take it off.

“Nnnnnn...” Liam moaned, lips parting, eyebrows furrowing.

Holy fuck.

Unable to resist, I moved my hand again. This time he opened his mouth even wider and gasped. I felt a sadistic smile grow in the corner of my mouth, probably very similar to Liam’s. I leaned in and kissed his neck, my lips lingering on his skin, and he moaned again. My smile grew as I began to trail my lips down the side of his neck, stopping when I got to his collarbone. I slowly slid my hand from his crotch up towards the seam of his underwear. Liam let out a sound that sounded like the start of my name. I froze; thinking that he’d woken up. My eyes darted to his in panic, only to be relaxed a second later when I saw that they were still shut.

The adrenaline rush, however, now had me wide awake. My eyes widened as I realised what I was doing. I slowly pulled myself away from him and covered him with the covers. I backed away from him and slowly climbed off of the bed. I looked down to realise that I was in my underwear as well.

When the hell did I..?

An image from last night flashed through my head. The image of me climbing on top of him and almost straddling him in his spot. My palms started to sweat as I realised how close I'd just come to ruining everything. I chocked back a gasp and covered my mouth with my hand; eyes still bulging. I backed away from the bed and picked my clothes up off of the floor. I stared back at Liam’s sleeping figure and felt a wave of terror wash over me.

What if I’d gone further..? What if he’d woken up?

I couldn’t bear the thought. I turned and ran out of his room; leaving the door wide open. As soon as I got to my room I ran to my dresser and started pulling out my clothes; t-shirts, jumpers, jeans, pants, shoes, socks, underwear, everything. I ran to my closet and pulled out my suitcase. I shoved everything in and changed back into the clothes I was wearing yesterday. I picked up the suitcase and threw it out of my bedroom window. It landed on the lawn of our front yard with a soft thud. I could barely see it in the darkness. I ran downstairs; pulling my phone out of my pocket as I ran. I called Paul and asked him to get me on the next flight to Dublin. I couldn’t be near Liam anymore. I needed time to clear my head. Time to learn how to control my urges. I needed to go away for a while.

Far away.

Away from Liam.