// C H A P T E R T W E N T Y O N E //

I looked away quickly, staring at Zoe to get her attention. She was so busy wrapping Jesse around her finger that she didn't notice at all. I didn't want to ruin anything for her, I knew how much she liked him, and I already felt like a bother for giving her so much crap.

I shouted over the music, "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" No one heard me.

It wasn't their fault that Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge was blasting like crazy. I wondered if this party was full of ex MySpace scenesters by the choice of music, or if they just didn't know what else to play.

I turned around and pushed my way through the sea of sweaty people, trying to find the bathroom again. I didn't dare look back,

I ran up the stairs, turning the doorknob, it was locked. I banged on the door, hoping whoever was inside would hurry. I couldn't hear them clearly, but they were yelling at me to wait is all I could tell. The male voice sounded vicious, it made me want to run away from the door so I wouldn't have to face them when they came out.

They opened the door at last, giving me the most intimidating glare as he past me by. I ignored him and went inside, what was he gonna do, hit me? I wouldn't put it past the guy, but whatever. I locked the door behind me, feeling at peace with the way the room muffled the sound of the music playing from outside. I pressed my back against the door, closing my eyes for a moment.

Matty was all I saw.

Him sitting there, with his glasses. I sighed and opened my eyes, I wondered where he was now. Was he still sitting there? What was he doing? What did he think...when his eyes fell on mine. When our eyes, fell on each other's?

I turned to the sink, leaning over it and turning the water on. I splashed a little on my face, knowing it may smudge my makeup but not caring at the time. I looked at myself in the mirror to check. I sighed, grabbing a bit of toilet paper and rolling it up into the width of a q-tip and wiping under my eye. There was a knock at the door, I rolled my eyes and tossed the toilet paper in the trash after attempting to wipe the water off my face with some more...

I turned to the mirror once more to wipe the little bits that stuck to my face off...I forgot how flimsy toilet paper could be. The knock sounded again. I sighed frustratedly and swung the door open, there stood a girl before me, looking almost too wasted to function.

I walked back down the stairs, paranoid as I looked around for Zoe and Jesse in the spot I had parted with them in. I pushed my way back through the crowd, I didn't see them...but I did see Jesse's friends. I continued over to them, "HEY WHERE'S ZOE?" I asked, once again finding myself shouting over the noise.

"WHO?"

"ZOE!" Their blank stares let me know just how confused they were. "SHE WAS WITH YOUR FRIEND JESSE! YOU KNOW...PINK HAIR...NOSE RING."

"OH! THAT CHICK, YEAH SHE LEFT."

"WHAT?!

"YEAH SHE LEFT!" They repeated.

I couldn't believe this shit, are you kidding me?! I ran my fingers through my hair, looking around.

"YOU CAN LEAVE WITH US IF YOU WANT, WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE PRETTY SOON." One spoke up.

I didn't want them to take me home, I didn't even know them. And everyone wondered why I hated parties so much.

"WHERE DID ZOE GO?" I asked, pulling my phone out of my bag.

"SHE LEFT WITH JESSE," he shrugged.

"ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE REALLY QUICK, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME." I begged. I needed the ride...I actually didn't have any money for a cab...it was just what I told Zoe to try to get her to leave early with me. I knew if I called my dad, he'd kill me.

They nodded, that annoying half nod that guys do these days...Their heads go up and don't make it back down to finish the gesture. I found the door and went outside, dialing her number and watching my back. It went straight to voicemail. I took a seat on the curb, how could she leave me like that?

"Hey girl." A man's voice came from behind, I froze where I sat. I didn't want to look, it sounded scary...maybe it wasn't talking to me. Maybe he was talking to someone else. "I said hey, girl."

I turned around slowly, slipping my phone into my purse discreetly.

"What's your name?" He was an older man who looked about in his late twenties or possibly early thirties. One of his eyes were lower than the other, and he had a pot belly. I couldn't see his hair, but it looked long and greasy under his hunter-green beanie. I was disgusted, I turned back around, ignoring him. I never spoke back to creeps when they tried to talk to me. That always drove them away after they'd take the hint.

"I said what's your name." He said, his tone growing threatening.

I continued to ignore him, please go away, please go away, please...

"You don't hear me talking to you? You think you're too good for me?" He asked, he was now standing right behind me. I could feel his presence. I stood up, backing away.

"No," I said quickly in my defense, "I'm just not interested, I'm sorry." I shrugged, I didn't know what else to say without feeling like I was going to get killed at any given second.

"I'm not stupid, I know when a bitch thinks she's too good for me, you're not that good looking anyway--" He kept walking toward me, "when I ask you your name you fucking tell me your name." His voice grew louder, my hands began to shake.

"Look, I don't want any problems okay I just need to find my friend--"

"Get the fuck away from her." It was Matty standing behind the guy. He looked small next to him, but like a good match unless I was blind from being so afraid.

"What?" He turned around to face him.

"I said get the fuck away from her, all these girls and you're tormenting the shit out of one who doesn't want you when someone in there is bound to?" Said Matty.

"Mind your fucking business," This man pushed Matty, he fell straight onto his ass.

"MATTY!" I shrieked, clasping my mouth soon after.

He went over to him as he struggled to find his way back up. I felt like I should do something, but I didn't know what to do. Matty was clearly either tipsy or high..I couldn't tell, but he wasn't sober enough to just turn around and get back onto his two feet.

As I doubted him he finally managed, standing right before the man and swinging a fist at him. He missed while staggering a bit, then decked him right in the nose. The man held onto it, blood dripping through the cracks of his fingers.

"FUCK YOU!" He pushed past him and made his way to a raggedy car parked across the street. Matty held onto his shoulder and stared after him, I looked at him, waiting for him to finally look at me too.

As he did I studied his face, he looked okay, and didn't bleed; which meant I didn't have to feel guilty for not asking him if he was okay, and saving the small talk, "thank you." I said.

He nodded, appearing to be waiting for a further statement. I saw Jesse's friends walking outside to the car. They eyed me and nodded, I turned around, leaving. Matty grabbed my arm, I turned around, facing him, "what?"

"That's it?" He asked, "you're just gonna go?" He asked.

The wind blew hard against my side, I stood my ground and pushed my hair behind my ear, looking up at him and nodding.

"You're still mad at me? You wont even talk to me or let me explain or accept my apology for all this time yet you still have the nerve to be mad at--"

"I deserve to be mad! Okay!"

"NO you don't!" He snapped.

"You think you help me get away from some creep and everything is supposed to be okay now?! You get a lucky shot at his nose and I'm supposed to come jumping into your arms and showering you with forgiveness?!"

"Just listen to me okay I've missed you I've worried about you, and you're so selfish--"

"I'M so selfish?!" I couldn't believe him, I couldn't believe that he really thought he was right and that what he had done was something easy to get over.

"What are you even doing here?" He lowered his voice.

"Excuse me?" I became livid, I don't remember ever being so angry in all of my life.

"Goodbye Matty." I turned around, heading to my ride's car. They all hung outside, smoking cigarettes before getting in.

"Ready?" One of them in a black hoodie asked. I nodded,

Matty followed behind me, "you're leaving with these guys?!" He asked, looking at them.

They smirked, looking at him. Evidently they had a history, I didn't want to know. I didn't give a damn, I just wanted to get home.

"YES Matty is there anything else you'd like to know?!"

"YES I'd like to know where the fuck Katie is and what happened to her?!"

"Well I'd like to know where the fuck Matty is and that happened to him but oh I never met him he was a pack of fucking lies!"

"You know what fine! Go!" He pointed to the car, "THESE ARE YOUR NEW FRIENDS?! YOU THINK YOU'RE SAFE WITH THEM?!"

I stared at him, feeling dizzy. I didn't know if I was going to have an anxiety attack or if I was just afraid.

"I can't do this shit anymore." He shook his head, I watched him.

"Just leave him!" One of the guys called, "he's a lunatic." They laughed.

Lunatic. I hated that damn word. Matty wasn't a lunatic. He was a confused guy who didn't know what the fuck he wanted or where the fuck his life was heading. He went into the house and came back out with a can of beer. I couldn't help but to watch him, I was definitely afraid.

"Let's go." The guys called. I couldn't move.

Why did I have such an affect on him, who was I to make such a fuss over? He could have any girl he wanted, just like he'd told that man.

He pulled out his keys, walking over to his car. He had his car back, the black one I had gotten stolen on accident. It felt like the first party I had been with him to all over again, just by seeing it. He opened the beer, and got in. My heart began to race in my chest. I ran over to the car, knocking on the window in panic.

He didn't look at me, or unroll it. I knocked continuously, "JUST GO!" He shouted.

"YOU CAN'T DRINKAND GET BEHIND THE WHEEL WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?!" I shouted.

"YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND LET ME DO WHAT I WANT!" He shouted back, his voice muffled through my ears as he spoke from behind the glass, "YOU WANNA KNOW HOW SHE DIED?!" He continued, "JUST LIKE THIS." He finished, his eyes growing red as tears swelled up in them.

I ran to the other side of the car, opening the door and shutting it behind me, "Matty if you try to kill yourself in this fucking car then you're gonna kill me too." I took a deep breath, holding back tears of my own.

"You'd be the second fucking person I killed." He said, his voice was weak, it almost pained even me.

"You didn't kill her--"

"I DID, I did, I did, I did!" He beat the wheel, letting himself go.

"You can't control a person drinking and driving okay so don't even say that you killed her."

"She did it because of me, I hurt her, like I've hurt you." He slumped down in his seat, covering his face.

I felt bad, but I couldn't break. What was the use in both of us breaking down? One of us needed to be strong to get us through the moment.

I got rid of the lump in my throat and looked over at him, "Matty throw the beer away and let me drive you home. I'll call my dad and have him pick me up from your place once we're there." I said.