// C H A P T E R E L E V E N //

The way the sun peeked through the blinds reminded me of being back home. I groaned and pulled the blankets over my head, still exhausted. I didn't want to see the light of day...all I wanted to do was sleep. For ages, for eternity. Although I guessed I still had something worth being awake for...Matty thought I was fucking fantastic. That was something worth being awake for. I smiled to myself like an idiot, and crawled out of bed.

I looked at my desk, the books still sat in the same pile they were in when I'd left them that way. I knew I should probably look through them a few times before classes started, just so that I wouldn't enter completely an idiot...that way I'd at least know something.

But I was too high, on life, to feel like sitting at a desk and reading books at the moment. I pulled my hair up into a tight ponytail, then headed downstairs to the kitchen for some cereal. All of the things Matty had said to me last night, and all of the events replayed in my head. I couldn't believe how obsessed I'd grown with him...all you do is think about him, you're like a creep...you're a creep, Katie...well at least no one knows that, but geesh...give it a rest.

I poured a bowl of cereal for myself, searching the fridge for my soy milk...I could only see my dad's disgusting regular in a clear eye's view. I sighed, feeling weak. All I wanted to do was just eat. My arms weighed heavy and my legs were weak. He always had to push my stuff in the very far back of the fridge and keep his so close to the front. Maybe I'd like to just open the fridge and be able to grab things, rather than search for them.

I stood up straight, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. You're over reacting. I leaned back down and reached to the back for my soy milk and pulled it out, taking it to the table.

My dad came walking into the kitchen, "oh hey, my daughter's home from going out late at night with some strange guy with the sides of his head shaved off!" He said sarcastically, opening the fridge.

I rolled my eyes, how could I have missed him last night...I must have been mighty high. "Good morning."

"What time did you come in last night?" He asked, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

I shrugged, stuffing my mouth with cereal to neglect response.

"I'm talking to you." He said, the look in his eye warned not to give him a hard time .

"Dad, why are you treating me like a kid all of a sudden?" I asked, grabbed a napkin and wiped my mouth. I wasn't necessarily good at eating and talking at the same time without making a mess.

"I'm not, I'm just asking a simple question. That is all." He shook his head.

"Yeah but last night you kind of embarrassed me." I confessed, looking down into my bowl, watching the cereal move around with the milk.

"How?" He asked.

I felt guilty for telling him now. I looked at him, feeling sorry for him. Maybe he was so lonely he felt like having authority would give him a relationship with me...but it was creating a bad one, an unhealthy one.

"I'm eighteen years old." I said, "you asked me...I dunno...you asked me where I was going in front of my friend as if I had to have permission." I shrugged, tucking my hair behind my ear as it fell in front of my face. I then regretted it, realizing it hid me from having to see his face after what I'd just said.

"What did I tell you about calling everyone your friend, how long have you known that guy?" He asked.

I suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore.

"About a week and some days. You're right, I shouldn't call everyone my friend." I hid my true feelings of pure irritation and picked up my bowl, "I'm gonna go to the living room and eat, is that okay?" I asked.

"Sure." He responded, placing a saucer on the stove and starting it up.

I got up, taking my bowl to the couch carefully. I was starting to like my dad less and less. I still loved him, but didn't like him one bit at that very moment. As soon as I sat down, the doorbell rang. I looked at the door for a moment, hoping my dad would get it.

"KATIE COULD YOU GET THAT? I'VE GOT MY HANDS FULL." He finally called from the kitchen.

I set my bowl down on the coffee table and went to the door. I pulled back the curtain of the side window a bit to see who it was...it was Matty. My eyes widened.

"WHO IS IT KATIE?" My dad called.

"Uh..UH...NO ONE, DAD. ITS UH, ITS FOR ME." I sighed, unlocking the door and walking outside, shutting it behind me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my facial expressions not withering even the least bit as I saw him in a dark wash denim jacket rather than his fuzzy coat.

"I'm here for your dad." He said sarcastically, laughing slightly, I could see his eyes wandering my peasant attire, "I wanted to see you."

"...now?" I asked.

"Is it too early?" He asked, looking at the time on his phone.

"A little..." I said, at that moment realizing that my dad and I were late risers. It was nearly one o'clock in the afternoon.

"Um, well. You see me, hi." I smiled and waved at him quickly, "you know, you've got to tell me when you're gonna come to my house." I felt like crap, because I looked like an idiot.

"I'm sorry. I know, I should have called you at least. Is your dad home?" He asked, lowering his voice as if my dad could hear him.

I nodded, hopelessly.

I looked behind him, seeing a shiny silver vehicle.

"You got a new car that fast?" I asked.

He shook his head, "it's a rental...for now. I'm actually about to go for a drive. I was wondering if you wanted to come." He didn't really ask, he sort of just said it.

I was in the middle of my breakfast.

"I don't know...I think after last night I'm just gonna take it easy." I shrugged.

He sighed, "a drive, not some wild party."

"Look at me." I said, I couldn't go out with him dressed like this.

"Well go get dressed." He said it as if it were so simple...there were so many additional things that were required for me to feel comfortable. I needed to do my hair, my makeup,and find something decent to put on.I hadn't even showered!

I sighed and let him in the house, taking my bowl from the coffee table. He wandered in behind me, shutting the door and taking off his sunglasses.

"You can find something to watch if you want, while you wait." I handed the remote control over to him. He nodded, taking a seat on the couch and looking around. There was indeed a lot to see, framed photos along the walls of me as a child and my mother and father.

"DAD MATTY IS HERE DON'T TALK TO HIM!" I yelled as I ran up the stairs. I could hear Matty's chuckle.

"WHAT?!" My dad asked.

He'll find out when he goes to the living room. I didn't feel like yelling anymore. I ran to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Purple car." I pretended to slap his face gently.

"Wow, you rarely even see those." He laughed, doding my hand.

He looked so cool with one hand on the wheel, sitting back in his seat. I had no idea where we were going, but wherever it was, I didn't want to ever get there. I just wanted to drive with him, forever.

"Red car again," he pushed me softly. I laughed and crossed my legs, looking out of the window. There were tons and tons of trees, it almost looked like we were in a forest.

"Where are we going?" I finally asked.

He shrugged, "anywhere we want."

"Let's go to heaven!" My jokes were terrible.

He looked at me out of the side of his eye, "yeah, I don't think that place exists, baby." He said.

I felt the chills creeping up on me as he called me baby. The way it came out of his mouth, I felt like I was melting in my seat. I hoped it didn't show.

"Well of course it does." I sat up a bit.

He didn't say anything, "you really think it does?" He asked.

"Yeah...of course." I felt odd, was it uncool to believe in heaven? He made a turn, and slowed the car down. We parked in an area once again unfamiliar to me. As I looked out of the front window I could see we were high up, overlooking the city.

"Heaven, is not real...sorry kid." He turned off the car and looked at me.

"How could you say that?!" I asked, my jaw dropping slightly as I took off my seat belt.

"Who runs the place?!" Matty asked, laughing.

"God of course!" I protested.

"Another myth."

"You're insane." I shook my head, I'd always believed in God. I wasn't that religious, but I believed, for the most part.

"Maybe I am." He shrugged, smirking.

"Hey um, I have a question. It's rather personal, I hope you don't mind if I ask?" I didn't look at him as I asked, just in case he said no. There was no telling with him.

"Go on," he said, I could feel him looking at me.

"...remember when we met, and you told me I reminded you of your girlfriend?" I asked, looking up at him.

He nodded slowly, looking me right in the eyes. I still didn't understand how he was able to do that to people.

"And I asked you about her...and you told me she was dead..." I continued.

He nodded slowly, again.

"What happened to her?" I asked., looking down at my lap again.

He didn't answer right away. He moved around a bit and sighed, looking straight ahead at the view. "Car accident."

There was a moment of silence between us, I didn't know what to say. I wished I hadn't asked.

"I'm sorry..." I said, and I truly meant it, I could feel it in my heart...and I knew that anyone that he could love must have been worth loving.

He shrugged, steering away from the topic, "so you're eighteen." He looked at me.

My eyes widened, my heart raced. What do I say? What do I do? How the fuck did he know? George must have told him. Play it cool. Play it cool. I took a deep breath in, letting it back out with every word.

"Umm, what?" I laughed.

He looked at me through beady eyes, he knew I was nervous.

"Your dad said when you were upstairs getting dressed."

I rolled my eyes, slumping down in my seat, "oh..." I looked at him, "yeah, I am. You can take me home now if you don't want to hang out with some kid." I shook my head, shrugging.

"I don't give a shit if you're eighteen, it's not like you're ten." He took out a cigarette, lighting it, "I was just wondering why you didn't tell me."

He didn't care?

"I thought you wouldn't want to hang out with me if you knew I was younger than you, I don't know." I felt like an idiot. He laughed and took a puff of his cig.

"You know what, you care too much."

"What?"

"You care too much. You give too many fucks. What people think." He said.

"I don't give a fuck what people think." I sat up, feeling offended, turning my full attention to him.

He burst out into hysteric laughter. I stared at him, getting even more offended...did I really come off as someone who cared what people thought?

"If you didn't, you wouldn't care what I just told you." He shook his head, finally calming himself down from laughing.

I guessed he was right. I looked off into the view, it was actually nicer than anything I'd seen in my time away from home.

He put his cigarette out, tossing it out of the window, "I'm sorry, I'm always smoking right in your face." He shook his head, sitting up.

"It's alright, I don't mind, really. I knew a guy once who smoked all the time, and I hated what it was doing to his health but I loved how he looked while he did it." I laughed a little, remembering Nicholas.

"Boyfriend?" He asked.

"Huh? Oh, no...no no, just an old friend." I shook my head, "I've never had a boyfriend before. Not a real one anyway."

He froze, looking at me, "you mean to tell me you've never, been in a relationship?" He asked, looking at me as if I were some kind of freak.

I shook my head, "I had one boyfriend when I was thirteen. But it only lasted a week. We held hands, and bought each other food." I shrugged.

He laughed, "sounds like quite the relationship to me." I could tell he was joking.

I laughed too, "I mean it was cool I guess. It would have been better if I'd have had a real boyfriend at some point...I mean, all of my friends had boyfriends, and some are even engaged. I've always been alone. No boyfriend, one friend...now here, none at all...I haven't even kissed a guy before...and I'm eighteen years old..." Oh no...I was opening up. Never open up, ever...that's what Elaine was for.

"If it bothers you so much, you could kiss me..."

My heart must have skipped at least several beats...time to wake up, this shit isn't funny anymore. I was really awake.

He leaned in a bit, waiting for my body response. I leaned in too, slightly. He looked me in the eyes, I'd never been so close to a person before. I finally looked him right back into his.

He placed his hand against my neck, and slightly under my chin with one hand, and pushed my hair behind my ear with his other. I closed my eyes instantly, as his lips pressed against mine softly.