Dept

I stalked through camp, grabbed my spear, and headed straight for the gate.

"Kate! Wait!" Octavia sprinted after me and caught me in a hug from behind. I stopped just long enough to hug her back.

"Thank you," she whispered. "For saving him."

I exhaled. "Next time, I might not."

"I know," she said quietly. "I know."

I pulled away, wiped my face with the back of my hand. "I'm going to find John. I don't belong here."

She nodded, tears in her eyes. "Where will you go?"

"Wherever he is."

I turned toward the trees.

Something crashed in the branches, and a body dropped out of a tree right in front of me — a huge Grounder, armed and fast.

I didn't even have time to lift my spear.

A gunshot cracked. The Grounder hit the dirt, dead.

I spun. "John?" I breathed.

But the one who stepped out of the shadows wasn't Murphy.

"Bellamy," I said flatly.

He offered me a hand to pull me up from where I'd stumbled. I let him. Barely.

"The woods are dangerous at night," he said.

I huffed a humorless laugh. "This is Earth. It's dangerous everywhere."

He actually smiled at that. "True."

He started walking, and — I hate that it's true — I followed. Because I couldn't track John alone in the dark like this. Not yet. Not bleeding like this inside.

"Come back to camp," Bellamy said after a minute. "I'll help you find him. I swear it."

I was silent.

"I'm sorry," he blurted, voice low. "I'm sorry I screwed everything up. I shouldn't have trusted Clarke over Murphy. I shouldn't have turned on him. I miss you. Both of you. Every day. I regret it every day. I understand why he did what he did today."

I looked straight ahead, jaw tight. "I know you do."

He glanced at me. "You're not going to say I'm a monster?"

I shook my head slowly. "You're not a bad person, Bellamy. You're just a leader. Leaders make the wrong call, and people bleed for it. That's how it works."

He stared at the ground. "If I'd just—"

I cut him off quietly. "I shouldn't have let him walk out alone that night. We even joked about it that morning. I asked if I could trust you two not to kill each other if I went hunting. He laughed and said, 'What, you think we're gonna kill each other?'"

My voice cracked.

"And then I saw you with that rope," I whispered. "And I've never been that angry in my life."

He swallowed. "You were angry?"

"Were?" I let out a dark laugh. "Let's see how you do helping me find him. You owe me that."

He nodded, serious now. "I'll do everything I can. And... you two should move back into camp. You'll be safer here."

"We'll see," I said.

He nodded again, like he knew that was the best answer he was going to get.

When we got back, Octavia practically tackled me. "Thank God you're alive."

I smiled at her. "Bellamy saved my life," I admitted.

She shot him a surprised look and then hugged him, too.

We sat by the fire, and someone put actual food in my hands. Hot food. For a minute, I just closed my eyes and breathed through the taste.