Chapter 53 - Kaminari and Mineta Strike

The morning sunlight spilled through the wide windows of Class 1-A, casting a warm glow across the desks and filling the room with a gentle, energized hum. Students were scattered throughout the classroom—some taking notes, others chatting quietly, a few leaning over each other's desks to compare homework. It felt peaceful in a way their class rarely experienced.

Yuuki sat beside Bakugo, flipping through her notebook with a rare look of calm on her face. She wasn't flustered, or stammering, or panicking every time Bakugo so much as looked at her. Instead, she seemed almost... settled. Comfortable. She leaned slightly against him, her shoulder brushing his arm as she wrote something down, and Bakugo didn't scowl or bark or blast anything—he simply sat there, arms crossed, one foot tapping impatiently, acting like having a girlfriend at his side was the most natural thing in the world.

Every so often, Bakugo's eyes flicked toward her—not glaring, but checking on her. Yuuki would smile softly, and he'd smirk back in that smug, quiet way that told everyone in the room he was absolutely loving the fact that she was his.

Mina, Uraraka, and Jirou watched them from a few desks away, whispering to each other like proud matchmakers who had successfully planted seeds and were now watching their flowers bloom.

But not everyone was enjoying the scenery.

Kaminari and Mineta sat together near the back of the classroom—two storm clouds brewing in silence as they watched Bakugo and Yuuki interact. Kaminari's cheek was pressed to the desk, his expression twisted in dramatic despair. Mineta sat on top of his chair, arms crossed, face scrunched up in frustration.

Finally, Kaminari whispered, "Dude... dude... I can't take this anymore."

Mineta nodded furiously, tiny fists trembling. "SAME. How did he—of all people—get Yuuki?! She was supposed to be—like—up for grabs!"

Kaminari slapped his palm on the desk (quietly, because he didn't want Aizawa to remove his soul from his body). "Exactly! Exactly my point! How did Bakugo get someone as cute and sweet as Yuuki?! She's like a marshmallow! And he's—he's like—an active volcano!"

Mineta huffed dramatically. "When Yuuki first came here, I told you—I told you—that she was girlfriend material. Literal girlfriend material! I even had a plan!"

Kaminari gave him a look. "Your plan was to 'stand near her until she noticed you.'"

Mineta looked offended. "IT WAS A SOLID PLAN."

They both peeked over the desks again. Yuuki laughed—warm and gentle—and Bakugo smirked like he'd just been handed the entire world.

Kaminari's eye twitched. "Dude... I'm gonna be honest. I don't think he deserves her."

Mineta gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. "He totally doesn't! He doesn't appreciate the softness! The—the gentle aura! The adorable pajamas!" His voice lowered to a whiny mutter. "I appreciate all of that..."

Kaminari whispered fiercely, leaning in close, "She should be dating someone who actually knows how to treat her right! Someone who wouldn't scare the life out of her every five minutes!"

Mineta nodded vigorously. "YES. SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY TREASURES HER CUTENESS—LIKE US!"

Kaminari placed his hand on Mineta's shoulder, the two of them united in dramatic brotherhood. "We must protect the cinnamon roll."

Mineta stared intensely at the couple again. "But how?! Bakugo's got her wrapped around his big... strong... scary arms..."

They both shuddered at the intimidation factor.

Kaminari leaned in, whispering conspiratorially, "We just need to show Yuuki that Bakugo isn't the only option. That there are gentler, nicer, more charming guys for her."

Mineta raised his hand. "Like me—"

"No," Kaminari corrected. "Like ME. But also maybe you. Maybe."

Mineta nodded, satisfied.

Kaminari continued, voice low and dramatic, "This is the beginning of our mission." Mineta whispered, "Operation: Steal Yuuki From Bakugo."

They both gulped. Even saying the name felt dangerous.

Kaminari added quickly, "Without Bakugo finding out."

They froze, glancing over to Bakugo—who looked like he would obliterate the entire building if the thought crossed his mind.

Mineta leaned close to Kaminari and whispered with absolute dread, "We are so dead if he finds out."

But despite that, despite the overwhelming risk, the two boys nodded at each other with the determination of heroes who were about to make very questionable life choices.

Operation: Steal Yuuki From Bakugo had officially begun.

•••

After class ended, the hallway of Heights Alliance was filled with the familiar shuffle of shoes, the low buzz of chatter, and the occasional laugh echoing off the walls. Students walked in clusters or pairs, heading toward the dorms for lunch or a break before training. Mineta and Kaminari, however, walked together with a very specific mission weighing heavily on their minds—Operation: Steal Yuuki From Bakugo.

Kaminari had his hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring at the floor as they walked. Mineta stomped beside him, tiny legs moving fast with pent-up frustration. Both wore expressions of deep concentration, like generals planning a war campaign.

Kaminari finally broke the silence. "Okay... okay, bro, we need a plan. Something smart. Something brilliant. Something Bakugo-proof."

Mineta nodded dramatically. "Yes. Something that takes into account the fact that Bakugo is basically a feral guard dog with explosions."

They both shuddered.

As they walked, they ducked behind a pillar when Bakugo and Yuuki passed by ahead of them. Yuuki was walking next to Bakugo, holding a book in both hands, talking to Uraraka and Mina. Bakugo walked slightly behind her like an overprotective wolf ready to incinerate anyone who came within two feet.

Mineta whispered sharply, "See?! THIS is the problem! How do you steal someone who is being constantly supervised like a national treasure?!"

Kaminari whispered back, "I know, dude! She's never alone! Even if she goes to get water, Bakugo is there. If she sits down, Bakugo sits closer. If she blinks—"

Mineta finished, "—Bakugo is analyzing the air she breathed."

They flattened themselves against the wall and waited until the group passed, then resumed walking to the dorms with the seriousness of spies on a classified mission.

Once they reached the common room, Kaminari leaned over the table and muttered, "Alright, brainstorming session. We need ideas. Good ones."

Mineta immediately raised his hand like they were still in class. "I have an idea."

Kaminari sighed. "Okay... hit me."

Mineta puffed out his chest proudly. "What if... we kidnap Yuuki."

Kaminari froze. "WHAT?! NO! Dude, we are trying to make her like us, not get expelled and arrested!"

Mineta crossed his arms. "It would work in theory."

"It would NOT work in reality!"

Mineta grumbled. "Fine, fine. Then what about this—" He cleared his throat dramatically. "I put on a tuxedo, roll up in a limo, give her a bouquet of roses the size of a refrigerator, and swoop her off her feet with charm and class."

Kaminari blinked. "Do you... have a tuxedo?"

"No."

"A limo?"

"No."

"Money for roses?"

"No."

Kaminari sighed again. "Mineta, you have none of the ingredients for that idea."

Mineta huffed. "It was still a GOOD idea."

Kaminari rubbed his temples. "Okay, okay, let's think of something realistic. Something small. Something Yuuki would actually appreciate."

Mineta perked up. "What if we praise her? Like... a LOT. Girls love compliments!"

Kaminari nodded slowly. "Okay... compliments could work... but it has to be subtle. If Bakugo even notices us talking to her, he'll blast us into next week."

Mineta whispered, "Exactly. That's why we approach her when Bakugo is distracted."

Kaminari thought for a moment. "Okay. So maybe... when Bakugo is training. Or yelling at someone. Or arguing with Aizawa. Or cooking. Or sleeping."

Mineta nodded. "Or when he's brushing his teeth. He looks very focused when he brushes his teeth."

Kaminari gave him a look. "Why... why do you know that?"

"Because I watch everyone."

"Alright. That's enough of that."

They sat in silence for a moment, trying to force their brains to produce something remotely workable.

Then Kaminari snapped his fingers. "What if we give Yuuki a gift? Something cute that she'll love. Girls love gifts!"

Mineta lit up instantly. "YES. YES. That's perfect. We need to give her something sweet and meaningful and adorable."

Kaminari nodded. "Exactly. Something that shows affection. Something that makes her think of us and not Bakugo."

Mineta's eyes sparkled. "Like a candy bouquet!"

Kaminari gasped. "A candy bouquet is brilliant!"

They both leaned over the table, whispering like mad scientists.

"Should we add a teddy bear?""Yes! A small one so it's cute!""Should it smell like chocolate?""Chocolate-scented bear—GENIUS!""And maybe a handwritten note telling her she's the sweetest?""Yes, and draw heart stickers!""Should we sign our names...?""Not if we wanna live!""Right, right—anonymous admirer."

They both stared at each other, nodding dramatically.

This plan... felt achievable. It felt safe. It felt like it wouldn't end with them being blown out of the dorms by Bakugo's quirk.

Then Mineta whispered, "There's just one problem... What if Bakugo finds it first?"

Kaminari swallowed hard. "Then we die. Painfully."

Both of them sank into the couch cushions, the full weight of reality hitting them.

Planning to charm Yuuki was easy. Surviving Bakugo while doing it... was the impossible part.

"Bro..." he whispered dramatically, leaning forward. "I just had... an idea."

Mineta groaned. "If it evolves trying to get past bakugo, I'm out."

"No, no, NO—this one is actually smart." Kaminari pointed across the common room. "Look."

Mineta followed his gaze. Sitting on one of the couches were Jirou and Tsuyu, chatting comfortably. Jirou had earbuds in one ear, twirling her headphone cord around her finger while Tsuyu flipped through a notebook. They looked calm, friendly, and—most importantly—like girls who actually understood how other girls thought.

Kaminari smirked. "Why don't we ask them?"

Mineta's entire face twisted in horror. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

Kaminari blinked. "What? Why not?"

Mineta grabbed his shoulders, shaking him dramatically. "If we ask THEM, they will IMMEDIATELY know we're talking about Yuuki! Then they'll tell Mina, then Mina will tell Kirishima, then Kirishima will tell Bakugo, and then Bakugo will turn us into charcoal breeeeeeead—"

"Dude, dude!" Kaminari slapped a hand over Mineta's mouth. "Calm down. Calm DOWN. We won't say it's for Yuuki. We'll say it's for a different girl."

Mineta blinked and slowly removed Kaminari's hand. "A different girl?"

"Yes. Think about it—there are tons of quiet, shy, timid girls out there. We just say we're trying to impress someone like that. Someone who gets flustered easily, someone who's cute and sweet and soft-spoken. We won't say a name. We won't give details. They'll never connect the dots."

Mineta frowned, processing. "But Yuuki is literally the only girl here who fits that description."

Kaminari winced. "Okay but... maybe they won't think too hard about it! Maybe they'll just assume it's some girl from General Studies. Or that we're being vague because we're shy!"

Mineta tapped his chin dramatically. "Hmm... that is believable. And we are shy. Kinda. Well, not shy, more like desperate."

Kaminari ignored that.

"We just need girl advice," Kaminari insisted. "Girls know what girls like. And we clearly have NO IDEA what we're doing."

Mineta looked at him, then at the girls, then back at him.

"...It's worth a shot," he finally admitted, though his voice trembled like he was agreeing to walk into a dragon's den.

Kaminari puffed up proudly. "Exactly. Easy. Chill. Nothing to worry about."

They took two steps toward Jirou and Tsu—

Then Mineta froze mid-step. "Wait. Before we go over there... we need a cover story."

Kaminari nodded. "Right, right. Something believable. Something simple."

Mineta whispered, "We say... we're trying to impress a shy girl from Support Course. Someone who blushes a lot."

Kaminari nodded. "Perfect. And we want to know what girls think is sweet, cute, romantic, and irresistible."

Mineta raised a finger. "BUT—we never say the words 'Yuuki,' 'brown hair,' 'tiny,' 'adorable,' 'Bakugo,' or 'please don't let us die.'"

Kaminari gave him a thumbs-up. "Got it. Easy."

They both took a deep breath, puffed out their chests, and approached Jirou and Tsuyu with the swagger of two men who absolutely did not have a death wish...