Deadly Game - Chapter 4

There you go sweeties... next chapter is up! :)

My take on little Adina is in the pic.

<3 Anna

Chapter 4

Will didn't call my name, neither did I expect him to. Melisea, however, did.

"Cassie! No!"

I didn't look back, I didn't turn around until I reached the stage. The woman from Capitol smiles at me – I think it's meant to be a friendly and calming smile, even though it's not.

"Well, what a brave little girl we've got here! It's such a honor for you to be chosen, dear!" Her Capitol's accent is weird, and I immediately decide that I don't like her.

I stare at the crowd, try to find familiar faces among them. There's Denlay, her face expressionless, but tears streak her cheeks. I see in her eyes that she's fighting for control.

Willow and Pearly stand close together, comforting each other, and I see the hopeless gazes they give me. They both mouth 'I love you' through their tears.

Will and Brendt are surrounded by other boys, still their gazes do not leave me for a second. Melisea is also surrounded by friends, and they form a circle around her, stopping any cameras from filming her. I already see that Melli is breaking down, and she falls into the arms of the girl next to her. The girl's blonde hair shimmers in the sun as she lifts her face towards the stage for a second, her grey eyes calmly meeting mine, and I know that Melli is in good hands. Bianca will calm her down.

Adina is screaming and thrashing in Greg's arms as he, Suzanne and Eric quickly leave, slipping into a close friend's house to avoid the cameras.

Riccy just stands there. No one dares to go comfort him, they see the fire burning in his eyes. A cold wall of ice suddenly surrounds my emotions, keeps them away. I stand with my head high, and Riccy's gaze burns against mine. I stare at him, without blinking. His friends know how protective he is over me, how he would sacrifice everything for me, so they keep their distance. He doesn't want their comfort, and they know it.

The woman from Capitol keeps talking, but I can't hear one single word she says.

"Rino Delid."

The boy who is obviously my enemy from now on steps onto the stage. He isn't small, probably sixteen, and he doesn't look scared. Maybe he's a career who just was forbidden by his parents to volunteer, and he's secretly happy about being chosen. I don't know. I don't care. I'll face him when time has come for me to kill him. Before that, I'm not going to walk around feeling scared for someone who probably never has faced situations like I have. Stupid careers.

Somehow, when the woman tells us to shake hands with each other, I tear away my gaze from Riccy for a moment, and I don't need another moment to judge Rino Delid. I already know his fate.

He won't make it far in the arena.

When the Peacekeepers leads me away, I still have the wall of ice around my feelings. I refuse to cry. I refuse to be weak, to let go of my control.

You will not break, Cassidy. You're strong.

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to convince myself. But truly, am I strong enough to face my death without Riccy? Am I really ready to face it at all?

My wonders are interrupted when visitors slip into the room where I'm sitting. Adina lets out a soft whimper as she rushes towards me, knocking me back onto the chair I was about to rise from. I am so weak, and I hope I will have time to gain some weight before the Arena.

"Cassie..." Will's voice is gentle, and he pats my shoulder. I meet his eyes and I know he won't say goodbye with others in the room. I nod, and he slips backward, letting the others come to me. Melisea is crying, although she tries to stop.

"Don't cry, Melli. I promise I will try to make it back. Be strong for me?"

"Yes. I will, Cassie. Whatever you want, I will be, as long as you promise to come home."

"I can't promise, Melli. You know that. But I will try. I will really try." She hugs me as well as she can with Adina still in my arms, and then leaves the room. Suzanne and Greg listen carefully while I tell them how to deal with my sudden disappearance from the family's economical life. When I tell them that Riccy will do the extra work that's needed, they're surprised, but they agree.

"I love you both to death, you know that, right?"

Eric just hugs me quietly, then he and his parents leave the room. Willow and Pearly can't say anything, but their eyes gives me strength. They trust me to make it out, they really do. Even if I don't trust myself.

Then Brendt and Denlay come forward. Brendt just pats me on the head awkwardly, muttering something like, "Show them that you're strong, Cassie."

Denlay takes me into her arms, and I let go of Adina, embracing Denlay and her warmth.

"Fight, Cassidy. Let your heart lead the way, it always chooses right. And if it doesn't, you go left. Love is stronger than anything in this world. May Viveca watch over you, and keep you safe from the blood in the arena." I smile at her, her words melting into me, filling my whole body. Love is stronger than anything in this world. "And when you feel like you have no hope left, then touch the number four," she says, her hand lightly touching my seashell-necklace.

"Thank you." I say. "Denlay... can you do something important for me? When they lose hope, tell them I love them. Tell them that they are the best family in the world. Tell Riccy that he should not complete our plans." She doesn't ask 'what plans?', she just nods, and bends down to pick up Adina.

"Adina, it's time to go."

Adinas tear-streaked face turns to me, and I feel a sudden pain in my chest, a pain so hard that it feels like someone is ripping me open and tearing my heart apart.

This might be the last time you see her.

"I love you, Adi-bird. You're in my heart forever." I have no other words for her, than this one that hurts so much to be said. Still I say it. She deserves to hear it. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye," she whispers, and suddenly goes limp in Denlay's arms, all her strength fading from her with the sound of the word that disappears into the air.

Her grey eyes full of tears and full of pain is the last thing I see when the door closes. Then, suddenly, I'm in Will's arms, and scream my pain out into his chest.

He holds me, and then I can not stop myself from saying it. I can't lie to him anymore.

"I was going to kill myself."

"I know." He sighs. "And I also knew there was no way I could stop you, so I didn't even bother trying. I know you too well."

"I couldn't live with myself, knowing that you'd be better off without me." He goes stiff.

"Don't say that."

"Why? You know it's true." He cups my face into his hands, and I see the pain moving in his eyes.

"I still don't want to hear it."

"It doesn't matter. I will die anyway. You know I won't make it. There will be others who are stronger."

"Please at least tell me you're gonna try." The agony in his voice is too much for me.

"Of course. I'm not giving up. But you know this is what I wanted, right? I can die for someone else, it's more than I could ask for. My life is already destroyed, and now I get rid of it. If you truly love me, you let me go. I've suffered too much, my heart has been ripped apart, and if you feel even a tiny piece of sympathy, you let me go. I'm nothing anymore, Will, nothing. It's too late for me now, please accept it."

"I know you want this. But I love you, and I'm too selfish to let you go. I can't lose you, too, Cassie."

"You already have."

He just looks at me, and I know that I've won.

"You're right, Cassie. I have."

Then he leaves.

When Riccy comes in, I'm calm again. My little slip-up to Will is locked up in it's hole, and I'm strong. My ice wall is back.

I really have to say that I've been angry with Will, just a little. It feels like he never really cared about me, never really loved me. He liked Adina more. Even though I know I'm being selfish and ungrateful, I still wish he'd paid more attention to me. I wish he'd been the big brother he was before our parents' death, the brother who protected me, and was by my side.

Maybe he thought that I had grown up, that I could take care of myself, but sometimes I still felt like a little girl. And when I had no daddy or brother to protect me, I just had to make it on my own.

"Riccy... I'm sorry."

"Sch. It's okay. Don't worry. You'll be fine. You're stronger than they are. You can win."

When he says it, suddenly it becomes true. I can maybe win. Why should winning be so impossible? I'm strong, I can stand to be without food, I can use a lot of weapons due to my job here in District 4...

I can win.

Can't I?