31: Three Words

A/N: okay so I barely re-read what I write and especially in the early chapters so if you see or have seen any Grammatical errors- no you didn't LOL ignore them please or comment to let me know and I'll correct it.

Other than that, play some sad music for This chapter besties.

There she laid naked in Fred's sheets and in his bed. Fred was no where to be seen. My head was now pounding as many thoughts crashed in at once. My heart and hands was shaking. I couldn't believe the sight I was seeing, and there was only one way to find out if it meant something.

"Where-Where is Fred?" I asked her, struggling to get words out of my throat.

"Oh don't worry about that sweetheart, he is all taken care of" she purred and winked.

I scoffed and now the words in my throat had made me feel sick. My stomach was turning and now I felt like I was going to hurl out more than just words. I still stood at the door I swung open. My breathing became hard, stomach still heaving up and down from running and my heart was now beating heavily and wanted to escape out of my chest.

There was a sound of a door being opened, Gabriella and I both turned our heads to the door that lead to the bathroom.

Out came a shirtless Fred.

I didn't want to assume anything but I couldn't hold any tears back. I started sobbing hard and covered my mouth with my hand to hold back noises. I was shattered. Fred still didn't notice me as he was looking down and scratching his head.

"I guess it was never meant to be" she said confidently.

Fred finally looked up as Gabriella spoke and he looked at her just as I did, confused.

"Gaby the hell-"

He still didn't notice me. I turned around, slammed the door and left. I didn't want to turn back or look at them at all or anymore. I went all the way back to the common room and I could hear Fred yelling my name from his dorm. I didn't stop and I didn't turn back.

I was now full of tears as the dimmed lights was hovering over on the crowd. I was rushing my way through making sure no one seen me, I felt embarrassed.

"Em? What's wrong?"

"Emerald are you okay, when did you get here?"It was Lee and George holding bottles but I ignored them, they were drunk and weren't gonna remember seeing me for two seconds. Fred had reached the crowd and I knew he did as I heard my name being yelled out for.

"Snow! Snow please. It's nothing like that -please"

I kept moving forward, crying as I heard his voice search for me. I ran out as fast as I could. Still in his stupid robe. I ran all the way back to my dorm. Fred must've stopped or got lost in the crowd as he wasn't behind me anymore.

When I reached my dorm, I opened my door then slammed it closed. I was weak in my whole body as water kept filling my eyes, making it hard for me to see. I leaned my head back on my closed door and slid down to crawl myself into my knees. My pants were now soaked on my knees from my tears. I hated assuming the whole situation but my mind was making up the scenes for me. I had always let my feelings get to me.

Suddenly, heavy footsteps arrived at my door and sounds of someone panting as well. The person even tried opening my door but it was locked. "Snow please. We need to talk. Snow please - I need you right now Snow"

His voice was not the same as before, now it was raspy and low. It was because he has been screaming and was tired. Fred began banging on my door. He was screaming my name trying to get my attention by begging.

"Please Snow. Please please ...please just ..listen."

I got up and opened my door. His face was red and his eyes were full of puddles just like mine. My nose was red and runny just like my eyes were red and filled with water. He had looked at me and seen how terrible I was. It was quiet for a few seconds as we seen and observed the state both of us were in.

"Snow-" he said while attempting to walk in my dorm but I pressed my hand on his chest for him to stay away so he wouldn't enter.

"Please" he whispered holding onto my face, but I slowly grabbed his hand and moved it away from my face.

"You wanted me to listen, so I'm listening" I whispered as I didn't have all the energy to speak as I sniffled.

"I want you to know that you're the only one I care about - Snow ..I ..I only want you"

"Not- .. good enough" I replied while closing the door but he stopped it. So I turned back and crossed my arms in front of him.

"Snow don't do this please...I'm mad about you- I didn't know she was gonna get naked in my dorm." The tears that were puddled had started to flow down his face but I wasn't holding back on mine. He grabbed and unfolded my crossed hands and placed them into his and looked me into my teary red eyes as I looked into his water filled eyes as well.

"She spilled her drink on me so that's where my shirt went. She told me she was drunk and needed help so I helped her to my dorm and said she could crash there" he was frustrated I could tell.

I began to ponder on my thoughts, letting them escape my mouth, "What if ..what if I never walked in your dorm. Fred? What if I never came to check on you?" I swallowed the next sentence back, my tears were falling freely again as I let go of his hands.

"I was coming to see you I promise. I don't want anything to do with her and I never wanted to do anything please- Snow... you have to believe me." He was moving his hands awkwardly. I know he wanted to touch me but since I denied him, he didn't know where to put his hands.

Then the next thought creeped in my head and I blurted it out as well.

"What happened the day of our first date?" I asked him. It was the same night I had the nightmare.

"Wha-? What?"

"On our first date when you came back to my dorm...and we had our date- Freddie where were you before?"

Fred was taken back a little and he looked down, breaking our eye contact. When he looked down, I knew he had done something.

"What took you so long to come back that day-"

"Before our date...She talked to me about bettering herself for a new relationship..."

"You're lying... you're not telling me something" i felt a sharp pain in my heart and felt like I cried all my tears out by now. I started to close my door but yet again, he stopped it. Fred didn't make eye contact with me when he said his first words so I knew he wasn't telling me something.

"After our date when I got back in the common room- She kissed me and I gave in but I pulled away when it escalated quick and all I could do was think of you" he said quickly, finally seemed like he needed to get that off his chest. "Snow - Please..Snow please please please believe me." He kept begging and begging as more tears fell down his face. I never seen him so hurt before.

Then I thought to myself, is it worth it?...

"I went to the party looking for you. Harry told me where you were and I was excited the whole way there to your dorm. God, Fred you drive me crazy" I chuckled while crying. And I kept sobbing at what I was going to say next. Fred was looking at me frowning and thin tears ran down his cheeks as he heard my words. He cupped my face again and slowly wiped away my tears.

"I swung your door open and I yelled how I felt... how I've been feeling ...." three words. Three words is what was stuck in my throat.

"Snow -  tell me." He whispered as I took my hands and placed them on his arms.

"I can't keep letting you in- Fred ... I can't keep hurting myself...I just can't do this anymore." My heart stopped and so did his. "I can't keep opening my dorm for you when you knock, I can't keep letting you see me when I wake up, I can't keep letting you touch me, ...even though I love everything you do Fred ....I just can't"

Fred leaned his head down touching my forehead and now I had cupped his face as well.

"Snow I- I'd be lost without you. Please give me a chance"

I pushed him away once again and stepped back into my room pushing him away to make sure he didn't step into my dorm.

"Fred, I'm done with this is - with whatever this was or is ...I'm done." He had looked deeply into my eyes once again, and even if I didn't mean it- I looked into his and shared three simple words.

"I hate you"

I slammed my door and locked it. Fred was still outside my door while I was crying and he was angry now at himself. I leaned my head on my door and it was like I could feel his head on the door as well. I moved away and I laid back on my bed letting all my tears go and let my heart rot into my core while my face was shoved into my pillow. It was like I was drowning myself in my own tears.

"Please - Please- I can't ...I'm not leaving till you open this door ..Snow Please ..."

He begged and begged for so long as I cried on my bed thinking about opening that door. But if I opened that door just like I did the other times- everything would just cycle again.

Once it was quiet, I stared at my ceiling. I had cried out all the water in my body as I laid there. Fred was outside screaming, then talking, and then it stopped after what seemed to be an hour or two.

The boy I had hated, made me feel so loved before but now -The boy I loved... had made me feel so broken.

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So I cried while writing all of this. And I'm never going to recover.

Update: just reread this chapter and cried again.

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