5: In Denial

Professor Snape had returned and I never thought I'd ever say this, but thank god he showed up. He broke the awkwardness in the room and checked to see if we cleaned correctly. He then excused us earlier to dinner while walking around in his little cape.

Fred was still silent, so was I.

I didn't know what to say.. "thanks for fucking me, I don't hate you anymore" or "Round 2?". I never been in this situation before and I never expected to be in one like this. Ever.

It was so awkward, we were both going to the great hall for dinner and we walked the same direction. He was still behind me and I wasn't going to turn around to look at him either. I finally built up the courage to turn around and talk but I couldn't. Suddenly a girls voice appeared out of nowhere, as we reached closer to the hall. She must've came from behind me. I didn't want to be nosy but I couldn't help it, she was being loud and obnoxious.

"How was detention?" she asked him sweetly."Oh yeah you know, just the same usual boring stuff" he said, but his voice was a bit shaky.

"Boring? BORING?" I thought. I wouldn't call someone begging to fuck me to be ... "boring". But then again, I wouldn't want him telling others we fucked in detention.

"I missed you all summer babe" she said.....

MY STOMACH DROPPED TO MY ASS. Babe? B A B E?

You're telling me this fucker has a girlfriend and I let him come inside of me... what - the fuck. I kept walking and didn't stop, I was so irritated. I walked faster to get away from them. As I walked in the hall, I felt like I was going to puke from the words I had heard.

I sat on the Ravenclaw table with Rosetta. She was by yourself thank god, I was going to tell her what happened before the boys appeared. But I didn't have the courage in me to mention it yet.

"Hey... whats got into you?" Ro asked with a concerned face. "Why would you assume that something was in me?" I asked her nervously. "Um okay..? I meant like ..are you okay? You look dull hun. And you're messing with your earring again, what's wrong?."

I heard her but ignored what she said. She knew that I'd always mess with my earrings when I'm nervous.

"I take detention wasn't too bad, considering Fred's head is still attached to his body" Ro said which actually made me giggle a little. "Yeah, it was boring. And I'm just thinking about school that's all." I said quickly.

I then moved my eyes towards the Gryffindor table and my eyes met with Fred's, he had a concerned look on his face as he can see I was upset with something. I wasn't mad or jealous, I just felt like I been used.... again.

"Hey Snow, Blue. May I sit here?" A familiar voice said, breaking my contact with Fred. "Yeah, of course Knight." It was Jeremih. Ro was surprised to see him. Since she knew about us it shocked her to see that I was okay with it.

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Dinner went by quick, Ced and Grey had joined us a few moments after. They're cool with Jeremih so we all just sat there and caught up on a few things.

I couldn't help but to notice Fred sending dirty looks towards me during dinner as if I did something. Was he jealous about Knight sitting next to me? I fucking doubt it. Why would he be mad? Not like he fancied me anyways to be jealous. We only fucked that's it, or did he feel the same way I started to? Confused but lost and wanting more. Cant believe for a second I even thought me and him- no never mind.

I still didn't know who the girl was since I didn't turn around, but at this point I decided to push it away. At the end of the day I told myself- I hated Fred.

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A few days passed and Fred and I both haven't shared a word to eachother. I sat in a different spot in potions, more towards the front and Fred looked bummed out.

Don't know why he made a sad face looking at me like he was the one hurt. For the past 3 days I spent my nights sleeping late and thinking about Fred using me just so he can get off.

"Was I just an Object to him? A toy? Some type of side piece that gave him some when his girlfriend couldn't?" I hated admitting it but I did cry.

Full of regret. I don't know what took over me that day we did it in detention. I used to have a crush on him before but that was before he acted like a jerk, was that it?

It became the end of the first week and still haven't said anything to Fred, although we'd shoot eachother looks during meals.

He would sometimes smile even, but I'd break contact to eat and ignore him. I haven't even seen a girl near him either...not that I was looking for one...but could she have been joking about the "babe" thing?.

I don't know if it was jealousy or just regret I felt. I mean why would I be jealous? I hated Fred and wanted nothing to do with him. Or so I thought... I don't know. No one has ever made me feel so good before, and I would've never thought it would be the boy I hated and ignored the most.

I pushed those thoughts away, believing it wasn't jealousy that took over but it was regret. It made me feel sick and confused. Sick that if it was his girlfriend, I'd feel like a whore or a home wrecker.

Confused on...on why I was feeling something for Fred..worse part is we had sex and I started to obtain feelings thinking he most likely just wanted to fuck and not have anything else to do with me. Regret started creeping in my mind again.

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It was midnight on a Saturday fading into a Sunday and I haven't got that much sleep at all just like the whole week, I'd stay up flooded in my thoughts.

When I started to doze off, there was a light knock on my door.

Now I knew Rosetta was gonna come to my dorm to bring me some breakfast and study sheets but she said in the morning, maybe she changed her mind and decided to come now. I still had to be cautious before just saying "come in".

I got up from my bed, my hair was all out and I was in my PJs that consist of a black tank top and these soft plaid pajama pants I stole from my brother.

The boys always have comfortable clothes. I wore no bra to sleep obviously, the shits uncomfortable as it already is. And I also had my fuzzy black socks on that kept me warm.

I opened the door to my dorm room being sure it was gonna be Rosetta.

"Ro I thought you were-..."

My eyes widened as I cut my sentence. I never thought that this person would be the one knocking at my door, especially this late in the day. I stood there looking up at him in silence for a brief minute before he finally spoke.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

It was Fred.

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This chapter is short sorry, not gonna lie but I'm trying to rush over to the next part because I had the next part in my head but I just didn't know what to put that leads up to it so I came up with most of that in 5 minutes.