Julia

I don't know what has gotten into me. I feel so... Happy? I've been a tough and calm girl for a long time, but since dad got into the picture it's been all different. I'm up and down... Is this what a girl should really be like? Is my dad the one to blame?

It's been a few days since Scott asked me to be his girlfriend and he hasn't left my side since. It's a little odd to see Scott like this. He's still the same man I grew to fall for though. Yoko? She still keeps pushing dad to do what she wants to do ever since that night when...... Well.. When dad kissed mum. Ya know.

Ever since those few days, we've had two gigs and made money. 50 pounds like each time. At least, that's what I'm getting. I'm getting more emotional, it's scaring me. I'm smoking more than I should, Jesus...

"Julia!" Mum called me.

"Yeah?" I shouted back.

"Come along now! Your father wants ya!" Mum called.

I sighed, setting my notebook down. I got up from my bed and walked out of my room.

I forced a smile, " 'Ello" I greeted my father.

"Hey, Julia. When's your next gig?" Father asked, looking up from his book.

I shrugged, "Don't know. Scottie will tell me though" I smiled, thinking about Scott.

"Ah, well. I hope it's soon. Yoko and I are leaving at the end of the week, you know." He reminded me.

I sighed, sitting next to him. "I know.." I mumbled.

"Aw.." Dad pulled me beside him.

"Don't be sad, Julia. This won't be the last time you'll see me! Yoko and I are clean now.. Hell, you can even come and visit us now in New York!" Dad smiled.

I got up, looking at him. "You mean, you'd let me go to America to see you and Sean and all?" I said, trying to hide my excitement.

Dad chuckled, "Of course! You deserve a chance to be with your brother, Julia."

I smiled widely, "Why, that would be gear!" I said.

Dad smiled at my excitement, "I'm glad you think so."

I sat beside my father again, "Dad, do you think you could sing me a song?" I said without thinking.

Father smiled warmly at me, "Of course, could you get me a guitar?"

I nodded and ran in my room. I quickly grabbed my acoustic guitar and rushed back to dad.

" 'Ere ya go!" I smiled widely.

Dad chuckled, "You sure are happy today."

He messed around with a few chords before he started singing.

Half of what I say is meaningless

But I say it just to reach you, Julia

Julia, Julia, ocean child, calls me

So I sing a song of love, Julia

Julia, seashell eyes, windy smile, calls me

So I sing a song of love, Julia

Dad smiled at me warmly.

Her hair of floating sky is shimmering, glimmering

In the sun

Julia, Julia, morning moon, touch me

So I sing a song of love, Julia

When I cannot sing my heart

I can only speak my mind, Julia

Julia, sleeping sand, silent cloud, touch me

So I sing a song of love, Julia

Hm hm hm hm... calls me

So I sing a song of love for Julia, Julia, Julia

He strummed the last note so magically.

I smiled, "That was beautiful.." I softly said.

"I wrote that ten years ago. I had you and your grandmother in mind." Dad smiled at me.

I tilted my head, "My grandmother..?" I said confused.

Dad smirked, "Yes, you're named after your grandmother. She was a very beautiful girl, and very kind. Julia taught me everything I know about music."

"What happened to 'er?" I gently asked.

Dad sighed, "She was killed when I was about your age. Struck by a car just when she reentered my life..." Dad gently held my hand.

He looked me in the eyes, "I don't want history to repeat itself, love." He said with sincere.

I smiled, feeling my eyes water.

Dad stared at me, "Are you crying, Julia..?"

I shrugged, "Honestly, I don't know.. Ya make me feel so many feelings, dad. I've never cried before until ya got 'ere." I chuckled, gently rubbing my eyes.

"It's a good thing I didn't wear makeup today" I smirked.

Dad smiled at me, "You don't need makeup. You have your mother's beauty" He sweetly said.

I felt myself blush.

"In the song, ya said 'Ocean Child calls me'. What does that mean..?" I curiously asked.

"Yoko's name means Ocean Child." Dad said.

He gently put his hand on my knee. "You see, that was during the time your mother and I wa-"

"Was going through a divorce... I know, I remember it all and how it happened." I looked him in the eyes.

"I hated the way ya pronounced yer divorce to 'er." I got up from the couch.

"I also hate how ya fuckin' cheated on her so many times! It was just me and her for God's sake! You didn't give a damn at the time!" I shouted.

Dad sighed, getting up. "I was stupid then, Julia. I'm learning, I've been there so far, I always will!" Dad tried reasoning.

I sighed, "Ya keep tellin' yourself that, lies. That's all it is." I grabbed my guitar and stormed off to my room.

"You can't keep running from your problems, Julia!" I heard dad call.

I stomped back in front of him, "WELL THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID!" I shouted, throwing my guitar down the stairs in anger.

Dad gasped, "JULIA!" He shouted.

"OH, FUCK OFF!" I yelled, stomping back to my room.

I slammed the door and fell onto my bed.

I covered my eyes as I started to cry.

God damn it, Julia.....

God damn it..