[3]

"Noona," Min Jun calls out as he sits down. "How are you?"

He smiles sadly. "This is the last time I can see you privately..." he says before sighing. "Noona, why were you so stupid...?"

He scoffs. "You told Ji Woo and I to not let anyone know that you were suffering because you didn't want people to have a last image of you as sad. Yah. Noona, you care about others too much! Especially hyung..." he exclaims before mumbling, "Maybe now you know to put yourself first."

"Min Junnie, Ji Wooie," Su Bin calls out and they immediately went towards her.

She was in a squatting stance with a smile on her face. "How have you been? Has Oppas been nice to you?" she asks.

"Ne! They treat us really well!" Ji Woo exclaims before lowering her head sadly. "Just... They... come back late now since they are working really hard... We feel lonely sometimes since we're used to them being around us..."

"Aish..." the oldest mutters under her breath before speaking up, "They will stop working late soon! Let them be for now."

"Arraseo..." Min Jun says sadly as he plays with the necklace hung around Su Bin's neck. "Noona, why didn't you return this? And the hoodie."

Su Bin forces a smile. "Unnie, you usually return items to people when something is wrong and you don't want to hurt them..." Ji Woo says nervously. "What's wrong this time?"

"Noona, it is even weirder that you only returned the white ribbon and not the necklace or the hoodie," Min Jun backs Ji Woo up. "Noona, is everything alright?"

"The ribbon represent hopeless in our relationship. Whenever I see it, I think of Hopeless Love by Jimin Park. He predicted our ending... Hopeless," she replies sadly with a distant look.

"But Unnie, Oppa really likes you. I think... he loves you. He never found anyone after you left. He buried himself in work, promising to be better when you guys meet again. He pretends that you leaving him never hurt but it did... A lot..." Ji Woo says trailing.

"Hyungie didn't believe that time would heal at first... But because of you, he forgave his father for his wrong doings and the disruption of iKON's comeback," Min Jun says and she smiles, happy that his family is better. "After that, he realized that slowly, he will forget about Noona and he didn't mind it. He struggled a lot with his thoughts and feelings for you since you already left. But I think this time... Noona came back unexpectedly... So hyung is in shock... Making hyung confused."

Su Bin sighs before ruffling Min Jun's hair lightly. "Han Bin Oppa has to find someone better," Su Bin says before sighing. "I'm not good enough. I can't be with him. I don't have much time left."

"Ah Noona! Don't say that about yourself! Noona is a great person that every guy would want to date!" Min Jun exclaims making her smile and then he frowns. "Wait... Don't have much time left?"

The siblings stare at the older girl who was avoiding eye contact with them. "Unnie..." Ji Woo calls out with a shaky tone. "What's wrong?"

"I... I don't have much longer to live," she says before forcing a smile. "When I was trying to bring him down, the conditions that I stayed in were harsh and out of nowhere, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness... I didn't seek treatment..."

"Ah wae?!" Min Jun exclaims before pouting and she forces a laugh.

"There's no need. We all have an ending. I'm grateful that my ending is quite normal and that I even have an ending," she says.

"But what about us? Appas? UNIQ Ge?" Ji Woo asks, tears filling her eyes as she smooths out her hair.

Su Bin's eyes reflected bittersweetness and a certain motherly look. "When it is time for me to go, don't grieve for me because I will be smiling when I leave for I have lived a great life that I do not regret at all," she says smiling before sighing. "I just wish I could pass during sunrise or sunset."

"Appas are slowly getting over your death but they don't show it..." Min Jun softly says as he lets out a disappointed sigh. "Noona, you influenced them too much... Maybe it is because they knew that you hated people missing you and being hurt because of you."

It was almost a week after their favourite girl had passed. The atmosphere was heavy and daily routines still happened but in silence. The twins sat at the dining table and looked at their beloved Appas who all had grim looks as they ate breakfast brought by managers. Min Jun puts down his chopsticks, gaining the attention of everyone. "Min Jun," Jungkook harshly warns.

Ignoring the youngest Appa, he stands up and looks at each member in the eye. "Why?" he asks but no reply came. "Why are Appas torturing themselves?"

"Appas are in pain but are acting like nothing is happening! Su Bin Noona died. It is a fact. Why aren't Appas even grieving?" the younger twin asks as Ji Woo tugs on his hand but he flings it away. "Why?!"

"Song Min Jun!" Yoongi exclaims, shutting the younger who had teary eyes. "Do you not think that us Appas are grieving in our own ways?"

The younger's hand immediately went into a tight fist. "Su Bin was an amazing girl. We've learnt a lot from her as much as we like to deny it. Us Appas know clear enough that she wouldn't have wanted us to grieve over for too long because she hated feeling like a burden. If not, when the three of you were staying on the streets, she wouldn't have left the both of you when she was injured. She feared being a burden," Yoongi says with a deflated tone. "Fuck. I miss her. So much. Everywhere I walk in this dorm, it reminds me of her. But what can I do about it?"

By then, Min Jun had took a seat and swallowed the urge to cry. Jimin puts a hand on the older's back as a sign of comfort. A heavier silence fell over the table as everyone stopped eating or even moving. "You know, hyung," the dancer starts with a small and forced smile. "When I miss her and when everything around me just reminds me of her, I think back to the best memories I have with her where she taught me something or an intimate moment. I always think about her the most at the balcony where we spoke till the rays peaked behind the clouds. Instead of making that the place I avoid the most, I make it the place to go to when I miss her the most... Because that is where I feel her the most."

Each member started to think about the time they spent the most with the girl as more memories flooded their minds. Tears and sniffs started to escape while bittersweet smiles slowly revealed. "I miss her," Taehyung breaks the memories.

"We are do," Namjoon replies. "But we have memories of her left with us. Personal memories."

"Su Bin Unnie wouldn't have wanted us to be unhappy," Ji Woo says with a bright smile. "She used to be the happy pill of the family! Now I'll be the happy pill!"

"Don't forget about me, Noona!" Min Jun exclaims happily as he slings an arm around his twin's shoulder with the exact same huge grin.

"Han Bin hyung misses you dearly but like everyone else... He is getting over you," Min Jun says before sighing. "In the wrong ways at least. But fortunately, Yunhyeong hyung stopped him in time. It was as if that day, you went into Yunhyeong hyung's body to talk to Han Bin hyung."

The dorm was in darkness when Han Bin stumbled in. He flips the switch before struggling to get the couch. When he does, he flops onto it and rubs his temple as a headache was forming. "You're home," a voice states.

The leader opens his eyes to look at who it was. "Yes, mother," he mumbles in annoyance.

"It has only been days since her death and here you are drinking your liver away," Yunhyeong states as he moves closer. 

"Why can't I?" the other replies.

"Maybe because Su Bin would hate seeing you in this state," the older says as he pulls the other up but he immediately flops back down.

"You talk as if she's still living," Han Bin retorts harshly.

"Doesn't mean she appreciated you like this when she was alive," the older sassed. "You think she risked her life for two years to bring down that guy who wanted her life to meet all of us one last time so that you can drink as a way of forgetting her? If she had wanted you to forget her, she wouldn't have turned up at all. It was because she cared for all of us and wanted to say her final goodbyes."

The younger's mind started to clear up slightly, hearing the similar words that used to come out of his first love. "You making her a burden in your life and you out of everyone should know that she hates that," Yunhyeong says with an eye roll.

"I know that, hyung," Han Bin says miserably as he remembers their late night conversations where she confessed her fears.

"Well you sure ain't acting like you know that," the older retorts dryly.

"This is my way of mourning," the younger says, covering his eyes with his arm. "Why are you stopping me?"

"Maybe because you're hurting everyone who cares about you?" the older says. "And maybe because you're affecting everyone because of that. I expected you to bury yourself deeper in work, not this."

"Drinking is just you running away from problems. But there isn't one!" the older exclaims. "Wake up Han Bin! Su Bin is dead and nothing you do is gonna change it. Whether you like it or not."

Alcohol isn't the way out. I hate it when people drink their worries away. They are just cowards who don't want to face their problems. Yes, I know that it is a way for them to cope but there are so many other ways to cope other than drinking! Like I don't face the problem? They can't keep running away from reality. Drinking just pushes back but it is just temporary.

Han Bin stays silent as he allowed the words to swim in his mind. "iKON needs their leader back, Han Bin," Yunhyeong says in a pleading tone. "The team is falling apart. Just stop this... whatever it is and just come back. I know that it would break Su Bin's heart if she saw you in this state."

The older then leaves Han Bin alone in the living room with his own thoughts. Soon the young leader stood up and went to the bathroom to freshen up. Once he was done, he left the apartment.

The next morning iKON was met with the sight of Han Bin in the ending process of a song and was met with a tired but proud smile.

"Noona, I have to go now," he whispers sadly. "Noona, are you proud of me? I've only missed you once ever since you passed! I wished you were still around but slowly, we're all becoming used to you not being around us. Life is continuing as normal like what Ji Woo told me before. I don't know why I'm still struggling but one day, I wouldn't miss you that much and wouldn't crave your presence. Till then, I'll continue to fight."

The boy gets up and brushes away the dirt on his pants lightly. He was immediately swept into a pair of arms once he was done as he giggled loudly. "Hope Appa!" the boy exclaims.

"You took too long, Min Jun!" Hoseok replies with a wide grin. "Let's go! Hanwoo is waiting for us!!!"

As the duo left the place, Min Jun smiled as he saw a butterfly. Hoseok also notices the insect and a small smile graces his lips. 

Noona, I'll live well.Don't worry, Su Bin. Us Oppas will be your eyes, mouth and hands to make sure the twins will grow up well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OH MY GOODNESS 70K READS IS ASDFGHJKL!!! When I woke up in the morning and saw it, I was so shocked and honoured! I'm grateful for each and every read, vote and comment. Oh and of course the fans of Appa! Thank you for showing your love to this fanfic and I hope that my upcoming works will be on par with this story~ I hope that all readers have learnt something from this book. *bows deeply*