Fix what's broken

He leans on my headboard looking up at the ceiling. We were sitting in silence, though it was somewhat comfortable.

I don't even know what to think.

But he leans forward wiping off his face, " How long do you need to think about it?" He asks.

Is he actually for real? I furrow my brows " However long it takes."

We sit there, I look everywhere except where he is. I know where he's looking-directly at me- waiting for me to think about it or something.

This isn't something that take a couple minutes to decide. He made a bet on our whole relationship, I still don't know what to think, all I feel is hurt.

Deep, dull, painful hurt.

He sighed, his impatience showing  " I guess I'll let you sleep on it." He sniffled as he ran his hand through his hair as he made his way to the door.

He's mad? He's MAD!

" Sorry if it takes me longer then a couple minutes to think about if I want to stay with someone who made me a bet." I snapped.

He spins back around, " No, you should know Kaylaya!"

How can he be mad at me? I don't feel the sadness anymore more anger then anything.

What would he do if he was in my situation?

I get off the bed walking towards him," Fine! You want an answer? Answer me this Cato... If I did the same thing- made a bet that I could get you to fall in LOVE with me- and Vad just told you... what would've you done?"

He set his jaw," I would've heard what you had to say."

I scoff, " No you wouldn't! Your the last person who would listen, and you know that. Do you know what you would've done? You would've told me to get lost...and..and..Probably would still be at the bar and at some girls house! That's what you would do!" I yell.

He inched forward, " Maybe.. And do you know what you would've done? You'd chase after me, and you would want to explain. And though I'd be royally pissed at you, I'd still listen."

I felt more tears well up in my eyes, " Ok, and I'd explain and you actually listened... I think you would go back to your most vulnerable moments and question if I was being genuine or I took that opportunity to get closer to you. Because as much as I want to believe they were all true. There was a time when they weren't, and you don't want to know which ones were real or not because it hurts, it hurts like hell!"

More tears fall on my face as I look up at him. " Do you know how mentally messed up that is?" I let a soft sob escape, " So with all of that in consideration, what would your answer be?" 

He was fighting back tears to, though he can handle them a lot better then what I can. He knows what he would say to me.

It's Cato.

He can shut out any emotion and be done with you just like that. Who is he close to. No one.

He'd get rid of me, he knows he would.

But that's not the answer he wants.

And I'm not sure that's the answer I want to admit either.

I wipe off the tears off my puffy face," So sorry if I don't have answer yet."

He sighs, " I'll give you as much space you need. Just... stop crying because of me."

I laugh lightly at his comment, " Easier said then done."

He bites his cheek as he walks out slightly closing the door. I roll my eyes to myself, I know he did that purposely.

I don't bother to go shut it, I noticed his room's door was open so I know he'll be checking eventually to see if it was still open or not.

I go run some cold water over a wash cloth dabbing it on my face to help with the hot feeling before going to go to bed.

All I wanted to do is sleep, it's better then having to feel the hurt.

And I do sleep ok, I think I was just so exhausted from the recent events, once I was out- I was out- The next time I wake up it was morning.

I go down stairs to get something to eat.  My face was still a little puffy but it wasn't horrible.

I noticed Cato wasn't here. Good I guess, I didn't have an answer anyways. I'm still not entirely sure.

Today we will need to leave for One.

Last one luckily giving the certain circumstances. I'm surprised Neffy wasn't here already-

There was a knock on the door...spoke to soon.

" Come in!" I yell though I sounded so tired, just doing that I had a huge yawn.

Enobaria came in, she had a smile on her face "Good, your up. Train leaves in an hour, Cato's still sleeping?"

I give a bitter sigh," I have no idea where he is."

She wipes off her boots before coming into the kitchen sitting on the stool across from me. " What happened now?"

" He's a careless asshole."

" Another fight?"

" I guess you can say that."

She cocks her brow, and crosses her arms " What does that mean?"

I bite my lip holding back the feeling coming rushing all back. " Kay-" Baria says giving me a stern look " - What happened?"

I take a big breath, " Um... I found out I was a bet."

She just stares, " What the hell does that mean?"

" It means when he 'liked' me it was fake. He claimed it was real but I really don't know."

" How did you find that out?"

I chuckle, she's going to love this. " Your brothers actually. Vad said last night at the pub, they were going back and fourth and he just said it."

She leans back in her chair, jaw clenched. " I guess I should've came earlier. I'll make sure to talk to him-"

" - Don't bother. It's better to know late then never right? Though it shouldn't have been brought up like that.. I'm glad I know."

I try to give her a smile, but that weak feeling was slipping through the cracks. It hurts.. especially when it was from someone you cared so much about.

Someone you thought could never really hurt you.

I feel a tear slip, I quickly wipe it away before Baria saw but it was to late. She stood up coming over giving me a hug. " Don't cry over him right now, let's just get through today then we'll deal with this."

I nod pulling away from her, " Thanks.. for everything."

She smirks, " Just because I'll be retiring doesn't mean I'll stop being your mentor. You got me for life kid."

I smile, " I know."

" Go get dressed." She says dismissing me...in my own house.

I did want a shower, take one just so I can get my thoughts in line before all of this today.

Luckily, I thought of somewhat of a speech for Nel and Brutus.. is it good? No. But I don't think I need to have a great speech for them.

The rest I guess, I killed them. Those two I didn't though I would've loved to. They ruined a lot. I'm just glad it was them, not me.

I finally turn the faucet off and got dressed into some more comfy clothes for the ride. I towel dry my hair not bothering to do anything else with it. The stylists will do all that, and after I'm done I'll want to get everything off me again with another shower.

I go back down to see the two of them down there all talking, Baria and Cato looked pissed. Wonder what that could be about.

But I do my best to ignore him, just asking if everyone was ready, I also made sure I was in a car with Baria.

I know it was bothering Cato that I didn't even look at him but he deserves it. I know he wants to say something so bad but he's respecting what I said..that's all I ask for.

Baria got in our car first, she was rubbing her hands. No doubt she punched Cato somewhere. " How did that go?" I ask.

She scoffs, " He's an idiot."

" Already knew that."

" But he's your idiot." She says. I look at her, she wasn't joking either.

I bite the inside of my cheek." What did he say?"

" Everything. We did exchange a few words at first.. but he did admit everything. And if you bothered to look at him, you could tell he was crying. He does love you Kaylaya."

I slowly shake my head, " How can someone that loves you do that?"

She shrugs, " I think... he thought it was a way to get him to himself after you won. He always had his eyes on you, with your fame so did everyone else. And who would cross Cato?"

" He didn't even know who I really was until the games. And he didn't really like me then."

" That doesn't matter, you guys knew eachother for a long time, you just never talked. You can still think someone is attractive even when you don't talk to them. And it's Cato...and your a girl."

I sigh, " Then what should I do?"

" I think you already know Kaylaya. You love him. And if you didn't, if you knew you didn't want him anymore you wouldn't have stayed last night, or said you'd think about it."

" Then I'll tell him when we get to the train."

" What's the fun in that? You got to have them sweat a little about it." Baria says nudging me.

We both chuckle.

" But it's still ok if I'm mad?" I ask.

Baria leans back, " You can be mad for as long as you want. It's a shit thing to do. I know I would be. But don't lose someone over something that could be fixed."

Soon after we reached town. The train was already waiting, the white smoke floating carelessly from the top. As I walk towards it I take 2 in one last time.

I'll be back tomorrow, but I'd rather stay here. I missed the peace it brought. Just get through this one more time I keep reminding myself.

I see the other car- Cato's car- pull up right beside me. I'm not talking to him until after the tour..that's when I'll tell him.

I don't waste time for him to get out before I go into the train, the sweet smell of the Capitol hits my senses making me roll my eyes.

I go on the couch curling up looking at the sunrise. "One last time!" Neffy says as she comes from her hallway, sitting by me.

" Can't wait for all of this to be over." I mumble.

" Don't be so negative dear! It wasn't that bad."

I give her a ' of really' look, she shifts a little " Maybe it was a little... different. But everyone loved you! The Capitol loves you!"

" I just want my boring life back."

Neff sighs, " Just..enjoy the spotlight Kaylaya. You deserved it after all."

Deserved it?

I look over at her, " What?"

" Neff.. Kay-" Cato began, I didn't realize he was walking in.

I shot him a look before looking back at Neffy, "Well, you did win. You earned every rich you have now-"

" - By killing people..." I scoff, " I thought after all of this you'd understand how hard all this is for a person." I spit.

" Kaylaya I didn't mean.." Neffy begins but I ignore her I guess I should've went straight to my room. " Yea. Whatever."

I go past Cato, we lock eyes for a spilt second before I go past him.

I lock the door turning on my TV again, watching the game channel where a boy from 1 wins.

After a good half hour there was a knock, I suppose it would be that time for stylists to get me ready. One more time getting all dressed for the districts to see.

This one better be good.

Luckily it was just the stylists and No Neffy's. Or Cato's.

Perfect.

They put my hair in a extravagant half up half down style with braids and tiny silver chains intertwined, just seeing that made me nervous for the dress.

The dress was a little high up but it wasn't horrible, it matches 1 perfectly, plus it had the black.

I look in the mirror, I look cold. I look like I'm done with this all.. I mean I am but seeing myself from the first time to the last time... Again, so much has changed.

The only thing I'm looking forward is to see Nel's stupid face on that screen. She and Brutus are the only ones who deserved this.

" Are you ready to show everyone else?" One of the stylists said.

" I am."

They lead me to the main area for the final inspection, there the 3 of them were. All their eyes shot to me as soon as I walked in.

But their expressions the same.

Shocked. It showed a lot,the hair and makeup brought everything out.

But it was very One.

" You look.." Neffy trailed off, though I was still mad at her I couldn't help but chuckle at her response. " I look just like One?" I ask.

" Very." She says.

I didn't want to look at Baria, she was directly by Cato, and looking at him will instantly ruin my mood.

But there he went, by the door. Even when I need space he still insists on walking me through the crowds.

Always making sure I'm safe.

" Get by the door, we'll be stopping soon." Baria says.

I slowly walk staring directly ahead. I feel the train stop... here we go.

" Ready?" Cato asks.

" Yea."

I feel his hand grab mine, I don't pull away I just look at him. " You might hate me right now but I told you I'll keep you safe."

I don't hate him, just really mad. I would tell him I didn't hate him, but that would give away my answer, and I'm making sure he does worry about it.

" Thanks." I say barely audible, but I know he heard it he pushes the doors open, leading me to the stage.

People were cheering, I don't know why.. I killed their tributes. It wasn't until I looked around, there were many Capitol people here weaved in the crowd.

Makes sense for all the noise, The only way I could tell One from Capitol people was their expression.

Cold and Cheery.

We finally went on stage, last speech.

And I said it with all the integrity I had left. I made sure there was passive aggressive lines towards their tributes, I didn't care I was saying it.

But I want to say thank you to all the districts for their hospitality when visiting, this tour was something to remember.

Thank you.

And with that my tour was done.

With the last of the clapping they directed us into their town hall.

" Why are we going in here?" I whisper to Cato.

" No idea." I noticed he pulled me even closer then before, we're walking directly next to eachother though I don't mind.

There, a tall blonde was standing. He looked familiar.

" Poulter.. What an honor." Enobaria says sarcastically.

He's an victor.

He turns, his eyes meet mine. His smile grows before looking at Enobaria. " Hello love. Great to see you again. Where's Brutus?" he says slyly.

" Your wasting our time for what?" Cato says he sounds livid.Poulter looks over at Cato, " Cato.. I didn't realize you were even here with these two around."

" You still didn't answer." He says.

Poulter just smiles, " I have a crush.. And since Ms. Musak was visiting my humble, loving district, I thought I'd get her a gift."

Enobaria snorts, " You wanted to give her a gift?"

I look between my mentors and Poulter who was smiling at me already. Yea, no.

" To welcome her to the 'victor' community. We all know how much support is needed."

" What's the gift?" I ask, I'm intrigued but I'd already not a fan of him, or wasting our time, all I'm thinking about is getting out of this outfit and getting back home.

He looks back at me, " Come here and I'll give it to you."

I didn't realize I was still in Cato's grip, I gave him a look.

" Don't worry Hadley, it'll be hard but I'll behave." He teases.

He clenches his jaw letting go of me, I'm surprised he didn't put up more of a fight.

I walk up to him, " Waiting." I bluntly say. He looks back at Enobaria and Cato, " No wonder you two like her so much."

" We're on a tight schedule Poulter." Baria says.

" Right." He turns pulling out a small gold dagger, rich black leather on the handle.

I take it, I would be lying if I said I hated it, it's beautiful. " All of this for what?" I ask.

" Call it a truce. No hard feeling between 1 and 2. I know our tributes weren't the best to get along with."

He was right about that. " Fine. Thank you. It's pretty."

He smiles, " Good." He lifts my hand gently kissing it. " Until next time." He says.

Cato grabs my hand pulling me away before I can even say anything, Baria on the other side of me. "Wouldn't plan on it." She yells back, " He's a pain." She mutters.

" I noticed."

Luckily Cato plowed through the crowds so I avoided any questions reporters had. Then we're off.

I wanted to talk to Cato right away but I know he needed to cool off, and when I talk to him I don't want to look like this.

So I washed off any makeup that was put on, undid my hair,and went into normal clothes. This is what I like. I took the dagger Poulter gave me, inspecting it.

As I moved it I noticed the weight changing, the weight differing will make it fly faster through the air. Handy.

Now I need to talk to Cato, hopefully we won't be mad about Poulter now.

As I walked down the hall his door was cracked, so I quietly opened it up.

He was laying on his bed, looking blankly up at his ceiling. When he noticed someone was at his door he looked over, realizing it was me he sat up putting his hood down from his head.

" What Kay?" He asks, I could hear the lack of sleep in his voice.

" I made my decision." I state.

He tensed, but I came inside turning on the light. I wasn't sure whether to sit or stand, So I stood a couple feet away from him.

He eyes up the distance," Come closer then that." He says softly. I go closer, right by his legs but he gently grabs my hand, unsure if he should grab it or not but he does anyways pulling me so I'm standing in between them.

I notice his eyes were pink, before I knew what I was even doing I wiped off the tear streak he had on his face.

He puts his hand over mine gently taking it off his face. " If your going to say it, get it over with." He says.

I feel my lips lightly curl, " Luckily for you.. I'm not saying what you think."

He searches my eyes, like I'm playing a joke on him. " After all I did to you? Your not leaving me?"

" I'm not going anywhere. A wise person told me.. Don't throw away someone so important to you when there's a chance it can be fixed."

He smiles, " Enobaria?"

I nod.

He wraps his arms around my stomach holding me tightly, " I'm so, so sorry." It sounded like he was crying again.

" It's ok." I whisper running my fingers through his hair.

He doesn't respond, instead he stands up, centimeters apart he looks from my eyes to my lips before connecting ours.

I break the kiss, " This doesn't mean I totally forgive you.. I'm still pissed about it. I just don't want to lose you."

He shrugs, " I can live with that. I'll be sure to make it up to you." He goes down planting soft kisses on my neck.

" Not right now." I manage to choke out, though that was tempting. He stops instantly coming back to look at me.

" I just want to be with you."

" I'm also good with that." He says smirking.

He goes on the side off me, but I crawl in his lap wrapping myself in his embrace. " This is what I want."

We slept until we got home, I never got off the train so fast. It's not like I'm never going to see it again, in some short months we'll be on it again with my first tributes.

It was almost therapeutic watching it leave, carrying all the baggage it caused me away.