¹¹┆𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞°˖➴

˚₊‧꒰ა ✦ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The next morning at university, everything felt different. The lecture hall buzzed with chatter, students flipping through notes, but my world had shrunk into a single thought that wouldn't leave me alone: Jungwon. His lips, his hands, the way he had kissed me as if he had been waiting for it just as much as I had.

No matter how hard I tried to concentrate, my pen hovered over blank pages, unmoving. Words blurred on the screen. My friends' voices drifted in and out of focus.

Sakura:"Sohee, are you okay?" Sakura leaned closer, her brows knitting together with concern.

Tzuyu:"Yeah, you've been so spaced out," Tzuyu added gently, nudging me with her elbow.

I blinked, startled, then forced a small, shy smile. Sohee:"Sorry... I'm fine. Just... a little lost in thought."

They accepted my answer easily enough, going back to their own conversation. But my chest ached with the weight of secrets I couldn't share. They couldn't know how my heart raced every time I thought of him, or how badly I wanted to see him again.

Hours passed, dragging painfully slow. My eyes flicked to the clock again and again, until finally the lecture ended. Relief flooded me as I packed my bag in record speed, mumbled a rushed goodbye to my friends, and practically ran toward the café.

The bell above the door chimed as I pushed it open, and there he was. Jungwon. My heart leapt instantly, pounding so hard it felt as if the whole room could hear it.

But he only glanced at me, his expression unreadable, and gave me a polite nod. As if nothing had happened between us yesterday. As if the kiss, the closeness, all of it had never existed.

Confusion swept through me, but I forced myself to move, to head into the back and change into my uniform. By the time I stepped out, Jungwon was working focused, quiet, detached. He didn't meet my eyes. Not even once.

The distance between us gnawed at me all afternoon. I tried to keep busy, but I found myself sneaking glances at him, searching for some sign, some hint of what he was thinking. But he gave me nothing.

And maybe that's why I got careless.

While I was carrying a tray of steaming cups, I brushed against the edge of the counter and flinched. Pain shot through my hand I had burned myself on a hot pot. The tray wobbled dangerously, but before I could react, Jungwon was there.

In an instant, he had set the tray down and taken my hand firmly in his. He dragged me toward the sink, his touch warm and steady, and turned on the cold water.

Jungwon:"Hold it under here," he instructed quietly, his voice calm but urgent.

The shock of the cold water bit against my skin, but I hardly felt it. Because all I could focus on was him how close he was, how tightly his fingers wrapped around mine, how his dark eyes held mine for what felt like forever. My heart thundered, drowning out the pain.

And then... he pulled away. His jaw tightened, and without looking at me, he muttered, Jungwon:"Keep it under the water a little longer."

The warmth of his hands vanished, leaving me trembling, not from the burn but from the emptiness of that sudden distance.

The rest of the shift dragged on in a heavy, suffocating silence. We cleaned, side by side, but said almost nothing. I changed back into my clothes, feeling the weight of words unspoken pressing against my chest.

When I finally gathered the courage, I turned to him. Sohee:"Jungwon... is something wrong? I thought maybe there was something between—"

He cut me off, his voice flat, almost too calm. Jungwon:"I'm sorry, Sohee. But I don't think we should be... anything more than coworkers. You don't know me."

The words struck like a blade. I stared at him, stunned. Sohee:"Then... let me get to know you."

His expression hardened, eyes shadowed by something I couldn't read. Jungwon:"It's better if you don't. I'm not the person you think I am."

My chest tightened. Sohee:"What are you talking about, Jungwon?"

His eyes flicked to mine, and in them I saw something raw, broken. Jungwon:"I'm a monster, Sohee. I'm not a good person. You deserve better."

Sohee:"Don't say that!" My voice cracked, desperate. I reached for his hand, but he pulled away sharply, the rejection stinging more than the burn earlier had.

Tears blurred my vision. Sohee:"Jungwon, please..."

He looked at me, pained, then whispered, Jungwon:"Let it go. Let's just stay coworkers."

My voice trembled. Sohee:"Do you really feel nothing for me? Nothing at all?"

His silence stretched on, heavy and suffocating. Finally, he said, voice low and strained, Jungwon:"No. I don't."

It was a lie. I could see it in the way his jaw clenched, in the flicker of his eyes. But the words were enough to shatter me.

My breath caught, and I nodded weakly. Sohee:"Okay..."

I turned before the tears could fully spill, my vision swimming as I walked away. My chest felt hollow, my heart cracking with every step.

Behind me, I didn't see how Jungwon's face twisted how his fists clenched, his eyes burning with something he refused to admit.

I only knew the pain inside me.

That night, I curled up on my bed, clutching my pillow as silent sobs shook through me. My chest hurt so badly I thought it might tear open. I grabbed my phone with trembling hands and typed a message to my boss, asking for tomorrow off. He agreed, no questions asked.

But nothing could soothe the ache. Not even the pendant at my neck, not even the memory of his lips.

The night passed in fragments of grief tears, unanswered questions, and the unbearable thought that maybe, just maybe, everything I had hoped for was slipping through my fingers.

₊˚ʚ 🌱 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

The next morning, I didn't even bother to set an alarm. I didn't care about university, about lectures, about anything. I stayed curled up in bed, a blanket wrapped tightly around me like a shield against the world.

When I finally dragged myself up, the silence of my apartment pressed in on me. I shuffled to the kitchen, opened the freezer, and pulled out a tub of ice cream. I sat cross-legged on the couch, spoon in hand, and started eating straight from the container, each bite cold enough to sting but not nearly enough to numb the ache inside me.

Sohee:"Why doesn't Jungwon love me?" I whispered through sobs, the spoon clattering against the carton as my hand shook. Tears slipped down my cheeks and dropped onto my pajamas.

I scooped another spoonful, forcing it into my mouth, but the sweetness only made the bitterness sharper. Sohee:"He's so stupid... how can he do this to me?" I choked out, my words breaking into hiccuping cries.

To distract myself, I turned on a series, something lighthearted I had once loved. But the laughter on screen felt like knives. Every smile, every romantic moment in the show reminded me of him. Of the way his lips had felt on mine, the way his eyes had softened that night, the way I thought no, I was sure he wanted me too.

But his words from last night replayed in my head, echoing cruelly: No. I don't feel anything.

My phone buzzed on the table.

A message from Yuri.

Yuri: Sohee, Sakura told me you weren't at university today. What's going on? You've never skipped before.

I wiped at my swollen eyes, my thumbs trembling as I typed back a short reply.

Sohee: I don't feel like it.

I threw the phone aside and buried myself back into the blanket, holding the ice cream carton like it was the only thing keeping me together. My chest hurt too much.

An hour later, a sharp knock sounded at my door. I froze, my spoon halfway to my mouth. Then the knocking came again, firmer this time. Slowly, hesitantly, I dragged myself up and opened the door.

It was Yuri.

Her eyes widened immediately when she saw me. My hair was a mess, my eyes were swollen and rimmed red, my cheeks streaked with dried tears.

Yuri:"Oh, Sohee..." she whispered, her voice breaking with sympathy. She didn't wait for me to explain—she just wrapped her arms around me.

And just like that, the tears came all over again. I collapsed into her embrace, sobbing into her shoulder, my whole body shaking.

Sohee:"Jungwon..." I choked out between sobs. Sohee:"He... he pushed me away. After everything. After the kiss after it was so perfect he rejected me."

Yuri tightened her hold on me, her hand rubbing soothing circles across my back. Yuri:"Oh, Sohee... boys can be so stupid. Don't cry, you don't deserve this."

But I couldn't stop. I clung to her like I was drowning, the sobs pouring out uncontrollably. It felt like if I let go, I would fall apart completely.

She pulled me gently inside, closing the door behind us. We sat down on my bed, and she kept her arm around me until my crying slowed into quiet sniffles.

Sohee:"I just don't understand," I whispered, my voice hoarse.Sohee: "He kissed me like he wanted me like he really wanted me. And then he tells me I mean nothing to him? How can both be true?"

Yuri frowned, brushing a strand of hair from my face. Yuri:"Sohee, sometimes guys... they don't know what they want. Or maybe they're scared. But that doesn't mean you aren't amazing. You're worth so much more than someone who can't even be honest with you."

Her words were gentle but strong, a lifeline I hadn't realized I needed. Slowly, painfully, my chest began to feel a little lighter.

We spent the rest of the day together. She refused to let me mope in bed alone. Instead, she dragged me to the kitchen, where we piled up snacks chips, more ice cream, soda, even leftover takeout. We curled up under blankets, binge watched movies, and laughed at the silliest scenes.

Later, Yuri set up a little skincare routine for both of us, smearing masks across our faces until we looked ridiculous. Yuri:"See? Who needs Jungwon when we look this fabulous?" she teased, snapping selfies until I couldn't help but laugh through my tears.

Every time I faltered, every time my chest ached, Yuri was there with a distraction, with a joke, with a hand squeezing mine. She made the weight a little easier to carry.

By evening, after hours of talking, laughing, and crying, I realized how lucky I was to have her. Yuri was the best friend anyone could ever ask for someone who could piece me back together when I was falling apart.

When she finally left, hugging me tightly at the door and promising to check in tomorrow, the silence of the apartment returned. But it didn't feel as suffocating as before.

I sat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The pain was still there, sharp and relentless, but there was also a new thought, quiet and determined.

If Jungwon truly didn't want me... if he only wanted me to be his coworker... then that's what I would be.

I would bury these feelings. I would be what he wanted me to be.

Even if it broke me.

The next morning

I forced myself to get out of bed and go to university. I looked in the mirror and told myself: Smile. Act normal. Pretend everything is fine.

So that's what I did.

I sat through lectures, scribbling notes, nodding along as professors explained formulas and theories, but my mind barely touched the words. I raised my hand when I was supposed to, joined in group work when it was required, and even chatted with my classmates during breaks. On the surface, everything looked fine.

But it wasn't.

I wasn't the same girl anymore the one who used to beam with happiness at the smallest things, who carried a soft glow inside her. That glow had dimmed. Even my friends noticed it sometimes. They didn't ask much, though. I brushed off their questions with shy smiles and small excuses. It was easier than explaining the truth.

As the day ended, I packed up my books, slung my bag over my shoulder, and headed to the café. My chest tightened as I opened the door.

And there he was.

Jungwon.

He was standing behind the counter, adjusting something on the shelves. For a split second, I thought his eyes flickered toward me but if they did, they didn't linger. He turned back to his work as if nothing had happened.

So I did the same.

I walked past him without a word, without a glance, and headed to the back to change into my uniform. No smiles, no stolen looks, no lingering warmth. Nothing.

Just coworkers.

The rest of the evening passed like that. Quiet, distant, almost mechanical. We served customers, wiped down tables, refilled orders. We didn't talk beyond what was necessary. He didn't look at me, and I didn't try to catch his gaze.

It hurt. Every second of it hurt. But this was what he wanted. And if this was the only way to stay by his side, then I would do it. For him. For me.

ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐

Days turned into weeks.

We stayed the same distant, formal, polite only when we had to be. It was a heavy silence that hung between us, one I tried to bury under distractions.

I threw myself into my studies. I studied harder than ever, spending hours in the library, drowning myself in textbooks and practice papers. My professors noticed my dedication. My classmates admired my focus. But it wasn't focus. It was survival. If I didn't keep my mind occupied, I would think about him. About what we lost. About what he threw away.

Sometimes, I went out with friends. I laughed, I smiled, I joined their plans to eat out, to walk around the city, to sit by the Han River. But even then, my laughter was quieter, thinner. They didn't notice. Or maybe they did, but they didn't press.

What I missed most was him. His smile. His warmth. His eyes that had once softened just for me. I missed it so much that some nights I cried silently into my pillow, clutching the necklace he gave me. But then, in the mornings, I wiped my tears and carried on.

Life went on.

˙ . ꒷ 🍰 . 𖦹˙—

The café also changed. With spring approaching, business grew busier. New part-timers joined us, taking some of the weight off our shoulders. One of them was Kai.

Kai was different. He was lighthearted, easygoing, quick with jokes that made even the customers smile. His energy filled the quiet spaces I had gotten used to.

He tried to be friendly with Jungwon too, cracking jokes and nudging him during shifts, but Jungwon stayed cold. His answers were clipped, his tone indifferent, his walls as high as ever. Eventually, Kai stopped trying too hard with him.

With me, though... it was different.

We clicked easily. He was funny, warm, and never seemed to mind when I drifted off into thought. We worked well together, side by side. Sometimes, he'd make me laugh so hard I'd forget just for a moment about the heaviness in my chest.

One evening, while wiping down a table, Kai leaned closer and asked in a quiet voice, Kai:"Hey, is it just me, or is Jungwon... always like that? Cold? Distant?"

I froze for a second before answering. Sohee:"Yeah... he's always like that. Don't think too much about it."

Kai raised his brows, skeptical, but didn't push.

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Weeks bled into months. I grew closer with Kai, at least as friends and colleagues. He filled the silence Jungwon left behind, and while he couldn't replace him not even close he made the days easier to bear.

Meanwhile, Jungwon and I remained as we were. Coworkers. Nothing more. Nothing less. Every glance I stole, every quiet sigh I swallowed, reminded me how much I missed what we had almost become.

But I held onto the decision I had made that night after Yuri left: if Jungwon wanted me only as a coworker, then that was all I would be.

Even if it broke me a little more each day.

Exams piled up, and I passed the long nights buried in notes, coffee cups scattered across my desk. The world was changing outside the chill of winter fading, the first blossoms of spring preparing to bloom.

But inside me, the question lingered, sharp and aching:

Would Jungwon and I ever be what we were before?

Or was that fragile, perfect moment already gone forever?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅