Entry 15

Hello Journal,

It's been a while. I did leave you here when I moved out.

Why not update you on what life looks like now?

I feel like the main reason I left my Journal here is because, I was afraid for so long to feel everything. To think back on how I was so lost and felt like there would never be a way out.

Klaus has been living with me for years, and he gets out of rehab today. I'm proud of him. he has been doing so much better for himself lately. He told me he was ready to quit for good. 

I quit years ago. The only problem is sometimes I drink too much wine on occasion.

My boyfriend doesn't like when I drink. Of course, he knows the situation I have been healing from everything for years.

Dad dying makes things all the more complicated. I pursued my dream of becoming a writer. Viktor writing his book created conflict in my stories. He made everyone think that I am this junkie who doesn't take anything seriously.

My days of being a raging alcoholic are over. Now I've been more focused on the years of therapy our childhood has all costed me. Most days seem to feel better when I go, but for others. I feel myself going backwards. I know I have to come to terms with what has happened. 

He disappeared and somehow came back to tell the tale. Just not to us. Five became a well-known scientist and he's damn good at it. He helps a good bit with figuring out wonders in this world no one ever could. We haven't come in contact. I'm not sure why he would be avoiding me, but I figure it's just better that way for him. 

Maybe it is for me too. 

Coming back was awkward, except when Diego showed up. Most of the time I spent driving back here, I fully believed no one would show. I would not have blamed them. He always seems to understand what is going on around here. It was the hardest for the two of us to leave. He had a crushing grudge on Dad, and I had one against Five. Whom I was planning on potentially starting a life with.

"Where have you been psycho?" Diego says giving me a big hug not letting go for at least a couple of seconds.

He smells the same, and his hugs are so much warmer than I remember. I was in a really cold taxi, so that could be the reason as to why. 

It has been way too long since I've seen my Best Friend.

"I've been going to therapy, getting my books sold." I explain to him, but he knows better and can always seem to see right through me.

"The one writer in this family that doesn't spill family secrets. That's why you're my favorite." Diego explains to me with a soft smile. He gives me a giant bear hug, until I have to tell him to let me go. Not because I didn't want him to, but because He was keeping me from breathing.

"I know!" I respond trying to breathe again. My eyes move towards the painting of Five on the living room wall.

"I'm surprised he kept it in that same place. With how conceited he was I expected him to put up a self-portrait." I complain to Diego, but he knows I have just been trying to get him off my mind this whole time coming home.

If we can even call it that.

"I feel like it was deeper than that. I think in some way Dad felt responsible for Five leaving when he did." I explain trying not to let myself get emotional.

"I can't believe that he just completely gave up on us after he made it back. I guess I kind of expected it though." Diego crosses his arms. I was devastated when Five disappeared. He knew that it felt like a whole other part of me was missing. He was always there to comfort me.  For a really long time he was, truly. It took everything in me to let him go. He just made it easier.

"I don't think I can love anyone like I love that asshole, and that is the shitty part." I explain to him, and he nods giving an understanding glance

Five finally decides to show up, it's when it's the last second.   Right when I thought I could finally put him in the back of my mind forever.

I don't know why I keep writing this down. I'm still a kid at heart.

The moment we finally caught a moment together I wasn't sure if I wanted to be happy and cry or be angry and scream at him for barely coming back, and not being there when i needed him.

"You look great." Five says, his twenty-one-year-old self-standing in front of me. 

His style is a lot different. I definitely saw a wardrobe change being good for him.

"I know." I say my tone very clearly still angry, but ready to be nice at any second. I just needed more time.

"What did I miss when I was gone?" Five asks me to hope for a nicer answer.

"Everything. I got married, divorced, sober, drunk, and sober again. I got sober for the one other person in my life that I care about more than anything, my daughter." He looks at me wide eyed, and a bit shaken up. I can tell because he choked up literally.

When he doesn't respond and turns away from me looking towards his window, I can almost feel his shame and regret. I can feel that there is something he isn't talking to me about.

"You definitely would know if you didn't just completely erase me out of your life. I missed the shit out of you Five." I say finally letting it out and he turns around.

His hands reach towards my face holding me so lovingly like I remember he used to. 

"I read your book. You seemed happier. I've read about your daughter, Husband. I'm sorry that the divorce got so ugly."

"You abandoned me when I needed you most. Even if nothing ever came out of us being together, I would have been happy if you just fucking called."

"I had to know what I was missing. I wanted to know my power better. Not that it helped. I've seen other universes far different than all of ours. It was wrong. I should have come back for you, and this is me showing that. I have been gone longer than you know. For years." Five responds. 

"I though you have been here the whole time?"

"The rest of us have all been trying to find you. For some reason after the apocalypse, you didn't make it with us. We haven't seen you in years. I've seen realities that I didn't know where possible. Diego has kids. Luther gets married. Klaus falls in love. Ben is alive.  We are all happy and I want to take you to the place where all of that is possible, I need you to see what I've seen."

"Is my daughter there?"

"Yes, and she's waiting for you back home."

The shock rolls over me and realize that he knows more about other universes than I happen to. 

"I spent years trying to find the original Y/n. Here you are.  We can go back together. I'm sorry that it took me this long to find you. He isn't supposed to be here. He went on his own way after you died in another timeline, so he decided to completely get rid of everyone in his life. I love you. I am the real Five."

"Tell me something only He would know. Something I would never tell anyone else."

"I'm still upset about that girl hitting on you at the gas station." Five laughs throwing he head back in embarrassment. 

I immediately rush towards him my lips land on his and he kisses me back. For a second, I swear the world stopped. 

He is my everything. I am his. I have never loved someone like I do you. 

We traveled back to meet everyone, and I did not realize Diego had so many kids. I am so happy for Luther finding love. Allison and Ray seem so good together and Claire. She is as beautiful as ever. 

This family has shown me what it's like to let go of expectations. This world is imperfect but with the right people around you, anything is possible. I am so grateful for this journey. I'm me again.

We are The Umbrella Academy.

Blood related or not, I could never ask for a better group of weirdos beside me. 

Sincerely,

 Eight