Entry 3

Hey.

So here's what the fuck is up.

Actually before that,

Of course I can not forget to say, if anyone other than me is reading my diary, I will take your blood in gallons and drown you in it. This diary is just a reminder of how sick and twisted I am.

Luther that goes for YOU ESPECIALLY.

Bitchass.

you little bitch.

I love you, but you will always be a little bitch.

You too Diego.

Love you though UwU.

So here is what fucking happened.

We had training. Dad was like,

"Get the fuck out there. Save the world. Kill these bitches. dOnT fUcKiNg bE lAtE." That's not what he said. That's how I interpreted it.

He really said,

"Mission time is now! The umbrella academy should be on time for mission!"

Shit I'm sorry Luther he's worse than you are.

Any fucking way we did this mission.

Klaus was as high as a kite. I tried to make him look as sober as possible. Compared to me he looked normal.

I was dead tired due to last night. I couldn't fucking sleep. Klaus came in for a while he didn't want to be alone because of his power, and we stayed up a bit. By a bit I mean, we pulled an all nighter.

We got high, and we kept saying hilarious shit.

He was all like,

"Everytime I close my eyes, I see a diuretic hippo about to shit on my face. It's fucking terrifying."  He laughs.

We started laughing so hard. I was trying not to piss myself.

"You look like you're gonna shit your pants Klaus." I say laughing. I lay back and hit my fucking head.

I lay there laughing and he lays his head on my stomach trying to contain his laughter.

It was fun hanging out.

Biggest fucking mistake considering we had a mission the next day.

But fun.

I fell asleep during today's mission.

Along with Klaus and the drugs he was already fucking out of it.

With him he would need Alison to rumor him.

Diego was all like,

"I'd wake up now, or else your ass is frass."

I eventually woke myself up when I speeded in a small circle for about 5 seconds.

That didn't last too long.

I told Alison,

"Rumor me. I need to stay awake. Klaus too."

I did run around this guy so damn fast, that his head was wobbling after his neck broke from turning too quickly.

That shit was twisted.

I just made a fucked up unintentional pun.

Anyway, when we got home we all were looking pretty fucking roughed up. It was hard.

It's a good thing I didn't get anyone killed. We all needed first aid and rest.

I assumed some of these bitches wouldn't take advantage of rest.

To my surprise, they did.

Me and Klaus not so much. I was fucking raging, he hyper as shit. We thought of a dumb ass idea.

We wanted to jump off the balcony of the second floor.

Hoping to land on the couch. Five and Diego we're sitting there Diego with his knife in his hand. Five passed beside him.

Vanya was playing her violin on the floor next to them.

Me and Klaus yelled,

"MOVE OUT OF THE WAY! OR WE'LL CRUSH YOU BITCHES!" We seen Diego drag Five off of the couch. Vanya ran.

Five woke up instantly.

We fucking jumped from the top. I fucking regretted it.

Didn't work out too well.

Klaus fell on the couch he rolled off and got a rug burn and hit his head.

He was all like,

"Shit!" Screaming in pain. He hits his genitals too.

I was just about to HIT THE FUCKING FLOOR.

I moved the couch with my mind. I still hit my head on the side table.

"SHIT ON A BISCUIT AND FUCK ME SIDEWAYS!!" I yelled.

Klaus had already dipped. He was probably looking for an ice pack.

Diego was all like,

"Dipshits," He was dying of laughter.

"The shit you two come up with." Diego finishes his sentence.

Five was all like,

"I'm still half asleep. Unsure of what is going on. Then again, I don't give a shit." He teleported laughing.

I went upstairs. I was about to turn on the light. When Ben turned on my lamp.

"WHERE IS THE FUCKING STASH?" he said, fucking making me slip trying to run away. I got up and was like,

"YOU GET THIS FOR FREE, SINCE YOU ARE NICE TO ME." He hugged me.

I kissed his cheek. I went for my stash of candy and his eyes lit up with joy.

"Thank you." He said. I decided to lie down on my bed. Ben lay beside me. We fell asleep for what felt like seconds.

It was actually 4 damn hours.

We woke up to Five pouring water on us. Out of jealousy. Ben jumped up and left to go change.

"What the hell?! We were just fucking sleeping Fiveeee." I told him annoyed and half asleep.

"I know." He kissed me. We made out for a while. That was until, Klaus came. He gasped.

Then he was all like,

"There goes my other tit." We all started laughing.

Then I had an idea, and I was all like,

"Hey guys we should do thi-"

"NOO!" They shushed me.

I ended up convincing Klaus Diego wanted in on it too. He had just come around the corner.

I was all like,

"Nipple piercings." I pointed to my boobs.

Five smirked rolling his eyes.

I had the kit to do it. I just never felt like doing it to myself. I tried. Regretted instantly.

Klaus volunteers to go first.

Five sat on my dresser waiting for the pain to start.

I made sure I washed my hands, put on gloves and sterilized the needles.

Klaus had his shirt off and was laying on the floor. I had fucking 80 towels on the floor just in case he dripped blood everywhere.

I was getting ready to just fucking go for it.

"1. 2." I didn't wait till three he would tense up.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" He yelled. I successfully pierced his left nipple.

Five sucked his breath in hard. Then gave a oooooo.

Diego was kinda iffy about the needles and shit. He fainted. I still fucking did it.

He woke up eventually. With a nipple piercing.

Five flicked it and walked out.

"You bitchass!" Diego yelled out to Five in pain.

Klaus has been showing it off. I did a damn good job on both.

Today was pretty fucking decent.

Not gonna lie.

I'm exhausted. Not that I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Klaus came in he couldn't sleep either. He wrapped his arms around me and I can feel myself drifting to sleep.

So good bye bitches,

REMEMBER.

EAT ASS, SMOKE GRASS, AND HAVE A FUCKING BLAST!

UNTILL TOMORROW,

Eight