Part 50

(A.N. sry for the time skip. I just lost all motivation for this story, and I kinda just want it to end. But it's a long one, and i added smut, which I'll mark ;) )

5 months later

I slumbed down on Billies couch with a huge sigh, the cushions swolling me whole. Shark followed me not far behind , laying his head in my lap and looking up at me like I'd owed him some pets.

The lights in the living room were dimly light while the rest of the house was in total darkness.

It was quite maybe a little too quiet for my liking.  It always was without Billie.

She's been on tour for the past few weeks, and I was all alone at her place that suddenly felt too big, too foren without her here with me.

It were nights like these when I came back from work, totally exhausted, and just wishing she was here so I could complain about my coworkers to her. And then we could laugh about it and she would tell me that I was probably the best photographer there anyway.

And it would end up with me telling her, "I love you," and she would say it back, making me feel so cherished and loved.

But she wasn't here and I was alone.

We texted all the time, though, but Billie was always busy, so it was hard to actually have a real conversation with her that wouldn't end with me being left on read.

She was just never a good texter and I get that and I didn't want to seem too clingy.

Somewhere between her tight schedule, she still would make time for me and call. Every night after her show ended and she would call me till I fell asleep with her on FaceTime and I would wake up to a text from her telling me how cute I'd look asleep.

But not tonight.

She had texted me earlier telling me that she wouldn't be able to call me tonight. It was okay. I got it.

But that meant that her absence hit extra hard tonight.

So here I was sitting on the couch with shark in my lap while watching the office for some comfort.

My message from earlier still sitting unread in our chat. It was nothing major, just me asking how her show went, but my question stayed unanswered.

When I woke up the next morning I checked my phone again. There was still no text from her. I could feel my heart break a little, and the bed suddenly felt a little colder.

It was weird being here alone without her, but I had promised to watch Shark for her, and maybe staying here made me feel a little closer to her.

My morning felt slow like time had stopped. No work and no one that could distract me from the loneliness that creeped into my bones. So I texted Grace instead, asking if she wanted to go shopping today.

Her answer came quick.

'Hell yes.You know I could never say no to shopping. '

So it was a deal.

I put my now empty coffee mug into the dishwasher and slowly dragged myself up the stairs.

For some reason, my body felt heavier than usual, and maybe it had something to do with Billie being gone.

Grace was over in no time, absolutely rushing me to finish getting ready.

It felt good to be around people who wouldn't constantly pick at what I was doing. My internship was almost over, and even though I would miss it, it would take off a lot of stress from my shoulders.

The internship was also the reason I couldn't join Billie on tour for some of her shows.

The night before she left, we laid in bed, maybe a little breathless and sweaty after saying physically goodbye to each other, she begged me one last time to just book a last minute flight and come with her.

But we both knew that wouldn't be possible.

"You know I can't even if I wanted to." I had said to her while softly stroking her cheek, and she nodded."I know, baby. I'll just miss you so much. "

I actually cried a little the night I laid in bed alone for the first time ,a little nervous about how this long distance would work out. But it's been going great. Well, the best it could go when she's literally a 12 hour flight away.

But we called and talked on for hours.

All until last night.

Her absence was sitting deep in my chest, causing this ache that was almost unbearable, but it lighted a bit as soon as Grace showed up and swallowed me in her chaos of shopping and gossip

Some time between grapping some lunch and smelling a hundred different body washes, we found ourselves at Victoria's secret.

I didn't want to go, but Grace left me no choice. "Come on, Valerie, you need some new lingerie to show Billie what she's missing out on if she doesn't get her ass up and text you back."

Of course, I couldn't go without telling about how Billie hadn't been texting nor calling me .

I let her pull me inside the store anyway because I knew she wouldn't leave me any other choice.

"Omg that would look so good on you." Grace gasped when she pulled out a lacy black set with a little bow.

I chewed on my lip, for some reason, a little uncomfortable shopping for lingerie. But I couldn't resist Graces pleading eyes for me to try it on and reached for the two-piece.

A little awkward I changed in the dressing room but as soon as my eyes landed on my body in the full length mirror I almost forgot how to breathe for a second.

Somehow seeing myself in lingerie was a huge ego booster. I've never been really happy with how I looked -always finding something to pick at. But right know , I don't think I've ever felt more confident in my own body before.

For a second I thought about sending Billie a little mirror selfie but I let that thought quickly pass. It didn't feel right . Right now my focus should be on how good I looked and not on Billie and if she had abandoned me again.

"And? Do you like it?" Grace asked from the other side of the curtain. I could hear the impatients  in her voice.

"God I love it, Grace." I said smiling at my reflection.

And without having to see her face I knew Grace was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

So I bought it.

The rest of the day passed by in blurr and somehow Grace and found ourselves slumbed into the booth in a 24h diner.

The sun started to set as we ordered some milkshakes. In that moment I felt totally at ease and happy. I had basically gone a whole day without thinking about Billie. Or at least a few hours.

"Did Billie text you again?" Grace asked slurping her strawberry milkshake. I shook my head." But its okay. I think it was good for me to not think about her all day. I think today has been the first day in awhile that I let myself relax and not worry about Billie and I. "

" I get that. Relationship can be exhausting even if there going well."

I felt myself relax a little at Grace's words. She was always understanding and would never judge me for anything not even for my emotions and feelings.

All I could do was nod - a little too busy with slurping my vanilla milkshake.

"I do miss her though. " I said a few minutes later my voice a little quiter than intended.

"And that's ok. Just don't let it pull you down. You deserve to be happy and have fun even if she isn't around. "

I smiled and nodded. Maybe those words had been exactly what I needed.

We finished up our milkshakes–skillfully changing the subject to Chris and his boyfriend who had been dating for almost a full year now.

We didn't see him as much anymore as we used too but it was okay. We all just kinda moved on with our lives even though we would forever remain best friends.

Chris was in a relationship, I was in a  relationship and even Grace had been on a third date with a guy she met at a bar a couple weeks back and he seemed really nice.

Somehow we all managed to go from the three of us living together to basically living together with partners now.

If someone had told me a year ago at Coachella that I would be in a relationship now and that the person I was in a relationship with is Billie I would have probably laughed in there face and called them crazy.

But that is how my life turned out and I couldn't be happier. I don't know how my life had gone if I didn't run into Billie and the others at Coachella. The people who had been basically strangers to me where now some of my best friends .

And one of them was even my girlfriend now. Billie was my girlfriend. I love saying that.

"Oh and then he offered me his jacket and drove me home." Grace ended telling me the story of her latest date with Rafael.

"You better make my your maid of honor at your guys wedding. " I joked though I kinda ment it.

Grace giggled before quickly adding to my words." First you have to make me your maid of honor at your and Billies wedding. "

I playfully rolled my eyes but thinking about it made my heart warm and my belly flutter.

It was almost 8pm when we finally called over a waiter and left. The air outside had cooled down enough for a shiver to run down my spine.

"Do you wanna continue our girls day at my place ?" Grace asked as we walked to her car.

"I would love to, but I need to go home and feed Shark, or he's going to eat me alive the next time I see him." I giggled, and Grace nooded.

She dropped me off at Billies place, but at this point it was as much as my place as it was hers. My clothes took up half of Billies closet , my toothbrush sat next to hers , just like my shampoo and body wash.

"Thanks for today I really needed this. To get my head free and forget for a second how much I miss my girlfriend. " I said as I unbuckeled my seatbelt.

Grace nooded. " I had so much fun today.  We need to make this a weekly thing."

"Do you want me to go broke? I don't think I ever spend so much money like today. " I chuckled my eyes landing on the shopping bags in the backseat.

"Like you would ever go broke with your millionaire girlfriend. " Grace joked and I rolled my eyes. She knew I wasn't with Billie for the money and that I felt bad every time she bought me something expensive.

"Shut up." I said sarcastically a smile playing on my lips.

I watched Grace pull out of the driveway before unlocking the front door. The house was dark and quiet, just like how I had left it in the morning.

I felt bad for letting shark alone the entire day, but I would make it up to him with some belly rubs. And it wasn't like I let him starve the entire day . I had prepared a bowl before I left.

Still he was always so dramatic about food acting like he had been starving for days.

That's why it was so weird that he didn't come bolting for me as soon as I unlocked the door. Actually he didn't come at all. The house was in total silence. No sounds of paws against the hardwood floor or the panting of a dog somewhere on the houses.

"Shark?" I called out into the darkness of the usually so welcoming home.Nothing.

I carefully pulled of my shoes letting the bags behind at the door as I went on the hunt to find the dog.

"Shark I'm back. Where are you?" I called out again turning on the lights in the living room.  I felt stupid for acting like he could actually respond to my question.

But this time, I could hear the jiggling of his collar coming for the hall. And soon after Shark came into few.

"There you are." I said crouching down to pet him." Sorry, I was gone for so long ." I cooed when my gace landed on a duffel bag on the floor next to the couch. I was a hundred percent sure the I didn't put it there. I've never even seen this bag before.

"Hello?" I called out into the house before  I could stop myself.

A few seconds later I could hear a door open somewhere in the dark hallway. My heart beat so fast I thought it was about to explode.

And just like that shark turned away from me and trotted back down the hall right to where the noise had come from.

I slowly got back onto my feet when a shadow appeared coming down the hallway.

"Surprise. "

I stood there for a second unable to move. I couldn't believe who was standing right infront of me.

"Billie." I breathed out.

There she was. Right there infront of me and not on tour like she should be.

Her hair was damp like she had just gotten out of the shower , a big tshirt hanging loose on her frame and shorts -damn i don't know if she was even wearing some.

"Surprise baby." She said like she wasn't sure if I had heard her the first time.

And with that I closed our distance in an instance, my arms wrapping around her and my face burying itself in her neck.

Her arms arms came around me just as quick her hands grabbing my waist , pulling me impossibly close.

"Why - How-?" I stammered so many questions I wanted to ask her but none came out.

"I missed you some much. I couldn't do it." Billie whispered her warm breath tickling my ear. " I couldn't be away from you any second longer."

I pulled away enough to see her face . Her ocean eyes locking on mine and just like that my lips crashed onto hers like my life depended on it.

I missed this feeling so much the way her lips move against mine and how her warmth radiants of her body making me feel so comfortable and save.

"I missed you so much." I mumbled against her lips against kisses.

"Me too."

We just stood there in the living room kissing like it was our last time with Shark circling our legs like he missed his parents being together.

When we finally pulled away we were out of breath and our lips a little swollen. Billie flopped down on the couch pulling me straight into her lap.

I still couldn't believe she was actually here with me and I was no longer alone.

She told me how yesterday she realized she had to see me or she would loose her mind and how she planned it to be a surprise. She catched the earliest plane right after her show in Tokyo and she was on a flight the entire day just to see me.

"I was kinda hoping you would be here when I came through the door. But like this I had at least some time to shower after being on the move the whole day." She whispered into my hair, my head resting against her chest listening to her heart beat.

"Yeah I was out shopping with Grace today." I mumbled. " Needed to clear my head for a bit and I just needed some distraction. "

"Why what's been on your head baby?" Billie asked her voice full of empathy.

" I guess I kinda just panicked when you didn't text me for a whole day and I thought that-" I didn't let myself finish that sentence.

"You thought–?" Billie asked her thumb stroking my back. Her voice was calm and soothing. Like if she continued to talk like that about anything I would fall asleep.

I moved a little in her lap straighting up to catch her face.

"I guess I kinda thought you would just abandon me again. " I whispered. " I know it's a stupid thought and I know you wouldn't do that but just couldnt stop thinking what if."

"Hey look at me." Billie said her hands softly grabbing my cheeks, her thumbs brushing over my cheeks.

"I will never- you hear me NEVER ever do that to you again.  I made that mistake once and I'll never make it again, okay? I love you Valerie- so much and that will never change. "

"I love you too." I said pressing my lips to hers once again. It wasn't heated, it wasn't rushed - it wasn't lust that caused our lips to move against each other it was just simply pure love.

___

My night time routine felt easier with Billie by my side. The way she stole little glances at me through the mirror when we brushed our teeth made my heart flutter.

Billie was already sitting on our bed when I came out of the bathroom, going to the closet to find some pajamas.

"Are you going to give me a fashion show of that?" Billie mumbled behind me. I turned around to see her gace fixated on the shopping bags on the floor that I had thrown there earlier.

A smirk formed on my lips." Probably not.  I bought way too much stuff to try on again. But I can show you one thing I bought. "

"Only one thing?" Billie asked almost disappointed. I hummed reaching for one of the bags and disappearing in the bathroom again. " Be right back." I smiled at her before closing the door.

My fingertips fixed at the straps of my back two-piece lingerie set and just like earlier in the dressing room it gave me this kind of confidence I've never felt before.

"You ready?" I asked my head poking out from behind the door. Billie was still sitting in the exact same spot as earlier, like she had been patiently waiting for me to return.

I think she said something along the lines of 'yes, show me' but I was to fixated on her smooth shiny legs and the way her oversized tshirt had ridden up - revealing her blue underwear. With her hair slightly curled as well, she looked absolutely ethereal, and I wondered how I had become so lucky.

"Do I have to wait forever, or are you going to show me?" Billies words made me snap my eyes up to her again. I bit my lip as I carefully opened the door fully, stepping outside.

Billies eyes instantly dropped to my body, and the way the lingerie hugged my curves perfectly. Her expression was something between shooked and absolut admiration. " Fuck Val." She gasped as I moved closer to the bed till her hands wrapped around my waist, like she was scared I was gonna run away.

"You are so beautiful baby. " She whispered looking up at me from her spot on the bed.

I leaned down a little to connect pur lips again.

I just couldn't get enough of her after she was gone for so long.

"I love you ." I mumbled against her lips again.

I just couldn't say it enough times.

"I can't believe youre all mine." Billie smiled.

"All yours huh?" I smirked teasingly.

"Yup. All mine." She said her hands running up and down my sides.

I hummed in agreement.

***

And just like that Billie slipped of the bed and onto the floor infront of me. Her lips found there way to my thighs leaving soft kisses there. I let out a little sigh.

I still couldn't believe she was here.

"You look so damn hot in this." Billi said snapping the waistband on my panties making me gasp out.

"Can I take these of ?" She asked me her hands resting on the hem of my panties on my hips.

Something about the way she was looking up at me on her knees did something to me.

I carefully nooded watching her every move. She slowly slit down my panties making them pool at my feet where I step out of them.

Billie let out a sound close to a growl as her eyes landed on my bare heat.

I was basically fully bare infront of her but I didn't mind - I didn't feel uncomfortable one bit.

Her lips close to my bikini line made gasp out loud and my hand tangled in her hair. "Fuck Billie I need you." I whispered all worked up.

"Tell me how much you need me." Her breath warm against my skin so close to where I needed her the most.

"So much Billie. So so much." I whined .

My knees almost buckled when she finally touched me where I needed her this entire time. "So wet for me." Billie smirked her voice smug.

"Fuck." I gasped where her finger pushed inside me .

"Don't stop please." I begged, her tongue catching my clit. And just like that I was ruined. My legs where shaking , fighting not to give out beneath me while Billie kept going.

I almost cried out when she pulled away from me. "Why did you stop." I said breathing hard looking down at her on her knees.

"Lay down for me baby. " Her smile was soft as she got up from the floor.

I did what she said laying down in the middle of the bed as I watched her pull her shirt over her head revealing her bare breasts and her blue panties I had already spotted earlier.

She climbed up to me , both her hands planted next to my head.

She stared leaving kisses on my lips, on my jaw and down my chest. Her hands stilled before unclamping my bra waiting for me to consent.

When I did she pulled the straps off my shoulder and threw it somewhere behind here. I didn't care where it landed. As much as I had cared about this set earlier, it didn't matter one bit to me now.

Her lips trailed down my belly, leaving kisses on the way." Please baby." I begged before she finally connected her lips to where I had been aching for her.

My lips parted but no sound came out. My hand tangled itself into her hair once again trying to pull her endlessly close.

"Oh god." I gasped my back arching off the bed as her tongue dipped into me.

"Look at me. I want to see you fall apart beneath me." Billie mumbled against me sending a shiver down my spine. So I did.

Her captivating eyes caught mine and fuck I was screwed.

"I'm close." I whimpered my eyes rolling to the back of my head as two of her fingers pushed inside me.

Billie climbed back on top of me while pumping her fingers in and out of me at a slow but steady rhythm. Her other hand found my jaw tilting my head up to meet her lips as she kept going.

"Be a good girl and come for me, baby. " She whispered into my ear, and I broke. I loud moan escaped my lips as my orgasm ripped through me, my legs shaking as I tried to close them.

"Fuck I love you." I gasped as my body went limp. " I love you too Valerie. " She whispered carefully slipping her hand away from my heat as her lips crashed down for a final kiss.

***

She climbed off me and pulled me into her side and under the sheets, her arms slipping around my waist as she planted a kiss to the top of my head. " I hope that made it clear that I'll never abandon you again. " She said her voice soft and calm , drawing patterns on my back.

"I know it was a stupid thought. " I whispered into the darkness.

"No." Billie shook her head pulling me closer so I was basically sprawled over her. " no thought you have is stupid. I know what I did to you caused so kinda fear of abandonment but I changed and I hope one day you'll be able to fully trust me again. "

I was about to contradict and tell her that I do trust her but she stopped me.

"I know you think you trust me but something inside isn't ready to forgive me. And I get that. You have every right not to. We'll work on this okay. I'll try to show you just how much you mean to me."

My heart fluttered as I laid my head onto her chest, listening to the faint sound of her heart beating beneath my cheek. I really dont know how I became so lucky.

"Thank you." I whispered turning my head up so I could looking into her eyes to show her just how thankful for her I was.

"Don't thank me. I was the one who destroyed your trust in the first place." She said stroking my check.

I shook my head. " You're way to hard on yourself. That it didn't work out the first time wasn't entirely your fault. It was also mine." And I ment it.

Billie was always the one taking the blame, but we both did things that caused us to not work out before.

" You're way too good for me." Billie smiled and I kissed her cheek before resting my head in its previous spot on Billies chest again.

"I hope you can tell me your side of the story one day. I want to know what happened in your past that you couldn't tell me about before." She said tugging a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

I knew she was mainly talking about my mum and also my dad that I had been careful to never bring up. But she was right. One day, I had to show her the side of me that had caused me to become who I am today.

"I will." I whispered breahing her scent in before letting my eyes fall shut and I could feel Billies breath even out beneath me.

And even though I only had a few days with Billie before she had to return to her tour this night had already been enough to fill the small cracks that had formed between us. And I think now we were stronger than ever.

A.NLonge one for making up the wait. I'm actually kinda proud of this one, and I hope you guys enjoyed it.( I hope the smut was not too cringe) There are like 2 chapters left and I'll try to not make you wait so long again.