🥀 29 🥀

TW: see bottom of page.

~♤~

"Loki, seriously what the actual fuck?!" Steve shouts as he follows the dark haired assassin into the house after Lyla had just driven off. "Hey , talk to me!"

Loki spins on his heel and glares absolute daggers at his friend.

"Excuse me?! I told you in under no circumstances was I to be disturbed and you let her walk in on me with no warning?" Loki spits as his face flushes with rage.

"There was literally no stopping her. You know what she's like when she's on a mission." Steve sighs as he holds his hands up defensively.

Loki was raging and he knew he'd start putting his fist through things soon. He'd rather it wasn't his face if he could help it.

"I don't give fuck. Now you've sent Val home too. Brilliant. I've got nothing to fucking channel my rage into!" He screams and punches a mirror with his bare hands , the shards falling to the floor with a deafening sound as Steve cringes.

If he thought Loki was out of his mind before, it was nothing compared to him now he'd lost Lyla. And it sounded like that was the nail in the coffin.

"Boss c'mon, calm down. Let me get you a drink and clean this up." Steve sighs as Loki's emeralds are ablaze with rage.

He knows this won't end well if he doesn't help settle him. It hurt him seeing his friend like this.

The situation was completely fucked up. But he knew if it was him in his position he'd have done the same.

Eliminate the threat, save the girl he loved from being hurt ever again, even if that meant losing her. It's just Loki was now trying to convince himself it was because of his father and the business. Steve had a bad feeling with what was going to happen.

Loki loudly stormed off into his elevator, jamming his finger onto a button and trying to breathe through his nose to calm down. Steve sends a text off to Thor giving him a heads up of his mood, considering they were meant to have an important meeting this evening.

Loki feels his heart swelling and crashing like the waves on a shore, relentless and brutally forcing him to feel everything he's trying so desperately to shut off. What the fuck was he thinking getting a whore over. Lylas face when she'd walked in had broken him inside. Those beautiful eyes had never looked so troubled.

And he was the cause of so much pain, again. Maybe he was no better than Rumlow. Maybe he was worse. He didn't know nor care.

Loki walks into his office, slamming himself down into an armchair and getting his dagger out, flipping it between his fingers to try and calm down. He always had a plan, a scheme, a mission. He needed to be methodical and not all over the place like this. He was a fucking shit show.

And the mention of Barnes. God, his fucking skin crawls thinking about it. Of course that motherfucker had found a way to weasle in, he'd had his eyes on her since the poker party.

He knew Barnes wasn't capable of feelings, no, this was revenge. Revenge for threatening him, berating him for late shipments, cutting his percentage of the profits.

He hadn't even realised that his knife had now cut deep into his palm until he looked down and saw the blood trickling out. He watched the crimson liquid spill onto his shirt sleeve in fascination as he felt absolutely nothing. He was officially numb.

~♡~

"What the fuck is going on?" Nat says as she goes to pour a glass of wine for the two of them.

She'd come over as soon as Thor had gotten off the phone with Steve and told him everything. Nat was seriously worrying about her friend. She'd never seen her so detached from reality before. She'd never seen her so cold.

She knew this would end badly. She couldn't help but think this was foreshadowing how hers and Thors relationship might end too. Like it always did for them both: in heartbreak.

Although Nat didn't say it nor agree with the methods, she was glad Rumlow was no longer wasting oxygen on this planet. He'd hurt her best friend. And even though she had no doubt Loki took his time and enjoyed it a little too much, she could actually see why he did it.

Thor had convinced Nat he had nothing to do with Brock's death but he didn't exactly stop it either. Nat didn't give a shit. He was better in the ground than on top of it.

"Nat I'm fine. I don't know why you're making such a deal of this. Of course Loki was going to get fucked the second we fight. He's never been short of attention has he? He's heartless. I knew that from the start. I should've stuck to the fucking contract." Lyla says the last part quietly as he best friend hands her the wine glass.

"Babe I'm more concerned about what Steve told Thor about you and James? He mentioned you were going out this week. Is it true?" Nat asks carefully as she takes a big gulp.

She needed it. Being in the middle of everything right now was giving her a constant stress migraine.

"What does it matter? I deserve to have fun too right?" Lyla slurs a little as she'd already got through half a bottle of wine before Nat even arrived.

Nat could hear her cold words but could see the pain in her face as she spoke.

"Ly how is this going to fix anything?" She huffs as she tries to be delicate.

Lyla was a live wire at the moment and could pop off at any second. She had become more like Loki than she'd realised during their time together.

"Who says I want to fix anything Nat? I'm done being the victim or the helpless one. I want to have fun. I want to go out with handsome men. I want to forget about everything." She says sadly as she begins to hiccup and takes another sip.

Nat exhales sharply. She knew her friend just needed to go through this dark place. But she'd be there to help her when she got out. She'd done the same for her after Stark.

"Lyla just be careful. You're going from one mafia guy to another. It could end up with you not only being emotionally hurt but physically too." Nat warns but Lyla let's out a drunken laugh that sounded forced.

"Nat, I'm already hurt. Emotionally and physically. Who cares anymore? Besides it's not like I've jumped into bed with James. He's my friend." Lyla says, her tone coming out harsher than she intended it to but she felt as if no one understood her right now.

She was not only mourning the loss of her relationship, but also feeling grief around Brock being dead. He was her abuser, but she was in love with him at one point in her life. And she felt relieved and mournful at the same time and confused what it all meant.

"I care." Nat whispers sadly.

Lyla shakes her head. "No, you're with Thor and you two can be together because Odin doesn't give a shit what Thor does. You're safe with him. Loki was never the favourite and Odin would literally make his life hell if he stayed with me. It was a fucking fantasy to begin with. I work in a library Nat... a library! Why am I shocked some mafia guy took advantage of me? Bought me a few nice pretty things and then went to play psycho killer over caring about my feelings. I don't care anymore. And if I see Odin or any of them again, I'll put a fucking bullet in his head." Lyla drawls intoxicatingly as she finishes her glass.

Nat looks at her horrified.

"Careful Lyla, you're starting to sound like him. This isn't you." She says softly as she looks concerned at her friend.

Lyla gets up and pours herself another wine.

"Is that such a bad thing? Cos he's not the one hurting right now. He bounced right back. So maybe I should be more like him!" She sways a little on the spot and Nat can tell nothing productive is going to come of this.

"Ok babe, we'll talk in the morning. But for now, let's get you to bed. I'll stay over and make sure you're ok. But you're gonna have a killer hangover." Nat steps into mom-mode knowing Lyla is becoming a loose cannon.

She takes the drink out of her hand and leads her to her room where she helps her find her pyjamas and brush her teeth. Nat tucks her into bed, looking down at her sister and feeling her pain. She wishes she could take it away. But Lyla was strong and she knew she'd get through it somehow.

She whispers good night to her before heading back into the living room and setting up camp on the couch. Lyla's phone buzzes from where she'd left it and Nat looks at the caller ID before answering.

"Hi Bucky its Nat. Lylas asleep." She says quietly so as not to wake her.

She hears Bucky's shock at someone else answering her phone.

"She ok? She never usually goes to sleep this early does she?" Bucky's voice rings through concerned. Nat sighs.

"I'm not sure what her okay is anymore James. She drank too much wine after walking in on Loki getting his dick sucked by some whore today." Nat explains sadly.

"Fuck. Sorry to hear that." Bucky replies sounding worried about her.

"Want me to pass a message onto her when she wakes up?" Nat asks as she begins to yawn herself, looking around the messy apartment and deciding she's going to put some things away before Lyla wakes up.

This whole place reminded her of him.

"I was just checking in. She seemed upset on her texts earlier but I was on a call with the Mexico suppliers. I see why now. Can you just let her know if she wants to meet for a coffee or something tomorrow? Nothing weird, just trying to be there for her." He said softly.

Nat raises an eyebrow.

"Swooped in pretty quick haven't you Barnes. Wonder what your boss is going to think when he knows you're going out with his girl?"

Bucky scoffs a little. "Not doing anything of the sort. I'm also pretty sure especially after today she's not his girl anymore. I can handle Odinson. Don't worry." He assured her but Nat doesn't like it.

Thor didn't seem to have an issue with the Barnes family, but Nat saw the way he looked at Lyla that night they first met and it was predatory.

"Maybe you should worry about Loki. You must've heard how he ended Rumlow. I'm sure he'd happily do the same to you. I'll tell her James you called after her. I'm sure she'll catch up with you tomorrow." Nat says dryly as she hangs up before he has a chance to talk back.

Her loyalties lay with Lyla always. But she was deeply in love with an heir to the New York Mafia herself which meant Loki would inevitably be harder for her to avoid. She wanted to keep the peace and she knew the beginnings of a civil war when she saw one.

—

By the time Lyla woke up, Nat had gone to work. She'd got a tonne more events to plan and clientele through Zemo's party and she was busier than ever.

Lyla couldn't even bring herself to face eating. She wasn't hungry anymore. Food tasted bland.

Nat had left her a note letting her know James had called. Lyla felt a little relieved at that, though she was unsure why.

Even drunk her dreams were plagued by flashbacks of Loki standing over Brock whilst she cowered on the floor. In all of them, Loki was laughing as he bathed in his blood. It wasn't too far from the truth she supposed.

Skipping breakfast and grabbing a black coffee instead, she called James back and arranged to meet him at a club he liked tomorrow evening. She needed something to look forward to and he'd assured her it wasn't a work thing.

Lyla roamed the apartment that Loki had bought her, feeling saddened by how many things in it reminded her of him. The books he'd bought her were too beautiful to destroy, even if it was painful looking at them.

She'd have to put them away into storage, or perhaps take them to Peggy so they were out of the apartment. Her wardrobe was full of designer gear Loki had adorned her with, jewellery he'd slipped onto her neck and wrist with kisses, even the gun he'd given her sat under her bed.

He was everywhere. He was everything. Her chest hurt.

But she pushed that feeling down with coffee and work.

Peggy noticed how downtrodden she was and tried to pry, but Lyla said she didn't want to talk about it. She couldn't bear to tell her how wrong everything had gone again. Besides, she was over it.

Lyla hadn't even told Nat she was heading out with Bucky. She'd just berate her. It was fine for her and her perfect relationship. She resented her more than ever.

Lyla got home from the library and popped a couple of diazepams to calm her down, swigging it down with some Gin which probably wasn't wise but it helped quieten her thoughts. She rifled through her closet until she found what she was going to wear to the club tomorrow. She hadn't been to one since she'd met Loki that night. And she loved dancing, so much.

By the time the next day rolled around, Lyla still hadn't eaten but had kept a steady flow of caffeine, painkillers and alcohol in her system. She slips the dress over her curvy figure, blow drying her hair roughly and putting some statement earrings in that she'd bought herself. She felt a little more human, and she didn't hate how she looked in the mirror for once.

Being happy with her choice of the black, mesh panelled dress, she slipped on her Versace platform heels and text James to let him know she was on her way. He'd already given her instructions on how to get to the club and who to ask for when he got there.

As she got out her Uber outside the booming and impressive looking venue later on that night, she suddenly felt nerves fire through her body. She had a bad but exciting feeling that walking through these doors might bring things that couldn't be undone.

"James Barnes has me as a plus one. Miss Glass." Lyla says somewhat confidently to the menacing looking bouncer who's on the door.

She wasn't sure if she should queue like the others, feeling bad for skipping ahead, but Bucky had insisted she get escorted straight in as a VIP. It made her cringe but she was really looking forward to seeing him, so if that meant using his name to see him sooner, so be it.

"Ah yes, we were expecting you. Mr Barnes has a private booth on the second floor. This gentleman will escort you inside." The security guard said as he, not so conspicuously, eyed Lyla up and down.

She was used to it by now, being able to dress in amazing expensive clothes definitely helped her feel sexier.

A separate man escorted her through the sleek and modern club as she tries to keep up with his long strides in her heels. Lyla had had several drinks before she came out so she was already feeling more confident than usual, swaying her hips in time with the music as she moved through the sea of bodies.

The techno blasted loudly and people high on all sorts of substances caught her eye as she moved towards the second floor.

Lifting up the velvet rope, the bouncer let her into the private area. She immediately saw James as he leapt up from where he was sitting talking to a group of men and a couple of girls lingering around, his eyes creasing around the edges with a smile as he raked over her body.

Lyla had to admit she liked the feeling of his blue eyes mentally undressing her and she wasn't expecting it. He looked so sexy under the dark and flashing lights and oozed power and confidence. She saw his own rose tattoos across his knuckles reflect in the strobes and the chain around his neck which sent her into a day dream of what it would feel like against her face from above...

Quickly snapping out of the mood he greeted her with a hug and kiss to the cheek, beckoning her to come over and introducing her to his friends. The women shuffled down and gave her fake smiles, but she knew they were jealous of the attention Bucky was giving her.

Undivided.

"I'm so glad you made it Doll. You look fucking beautiful." Bucky shouted into her ear as she leant in to hear him.

She could smell his musk and feel his breath against the shell of her ear which gave her goosebumps. It was delicious. Wrong. But delicious.

"Of course. Thanks for inviting me." Lyla replied as Bucky handed her a drink from a waitress who'd come to top them up.

Lyla wasn't even sure what the drink was but it tasted fine, so she took a few decent swigs to help her mood.

Bucky's pupils were dilated more than usual as he looked her up and down, letting out another sigh. Lyla could tell he was on something but she didn't care. She saw how smart he was dressed and those dimples when he smiled and she was hooked.

She finishes her drink quickly as Bucky asks about her day, making small talk when really all she wanted to do was go somewhere private and properly spend time with him.

She spoke briefly to his friends when they asked what she did for a living, but they didn't seem too interested in her boring answer and went back to the girls that draped themselves across them.

"I was worried about you. Nat said you weren't doing well." Bucky drawls as he takes a shot of whiskey from a tray in front of him on the table.

Lyla grabs one, doing the same. She didn't want to feel anything but good tonight.

"Nat always worries about me. I'm fine." Lyla rolls her eyes as she feels the sour liquid burn down her throat in a good way.

Bucky hands her another as he does the same.

"I'm glad you're ok. It's good to see you somewhere away from all the bullshit." James says and she swears, the way he's smouldering over her is making her hot and bothered.

They chat a little while longer before Bucky grabs a small bag from his friend and discreetly takes a pill out, trying to hide it from Lyla. She catches his eye however and cocks an eyebrow curiously. Bucky, already half cut, gives her a smirk as he pulls the bag around.

"You want some?" He asks as he looks at her wickedly.

Lyla would take anything he was offering with those steel blue eyes. Her gaze drifts down to his metal arm and she wonders about all the things it can do.

"What is it?" She asks as she tries to make out what it is.

Usually she wouldn't even entertain the idea of drugs, but tonight was about feeling numb, powerful and less like a victim. And she simply didn't care about any consequences to think it through clearly.

James licks his teeth as if he's impressed she's even contemplating it.

"Molly". He responds as he gets a tablet out and puts it on his tongue with his mouth open.

Lyla had taken half an MDMA before when she was in college with Nat, but not this. She looks at James through lidded eyes and nods.

He smiles cheekily as he suddenly grabs the sides of her head between his strong hands and leans in to kiss her.

Lyla is taken off guard, paralysed in the most intoxicating way, as Bucky grazes his tongue over her lips and legs the tablet drop into her mouth.

He then picks up the bag and takes one for himself, putting it back onto his tongue as he swallows. Lyla, speechless does the same. It was close enough to a kiss that she's desperate for more.

Lyla takes another whisky shot as she shuffles closer to Bucky. He was so handsome and charming and self assured. She knew he was as fucked as Loki, but in that moment she simply didn't give a fuck.

She wanted to feel desired again. By someone who hadn't murdered her ex at least. By someone who had clearly pined after her for a long time.

Bucky never breaks eye contact as he watches her move even closer. Their knees are touching now and the rest of the club zones out of their vision as Lyla puts a hand on the side of his neck and the back of his head, moving forward to feel his tongue properly inside her mouth.

James closes the gap hungrily as he connects their lips. He's less forceful than what she's used to, but his tongue finds its way into her mouth and she finds herself opening her mouth wider, deepening the kiss. She could taste the liquor on their tongues mixing deliciously and she never wanted to come up for air.

Bucky's hands travel down to her waist where he squeezes tightly. She tries not to think about the fact that if Loki was here he'd strangle the life from the man in front of her just for touching her there.

She didn't want him. She didn't want him. She didn't want him. Not anymore.

She wanted, no she needed, Bucky.

"C'mon, let's dance whilst we wait for this to kick in properly." Bucky says as he pulls away just enough to whisper against their lips.

He grabs her hand and stands them up, heading down the stairs to the first floor and going to the centre of the dance floor. Lylas head spins in more ways than one and she feels light and airy from the shots and alcohol she's had.

Bucky grabs her face as he kisses her again, laughing as he pulls away to spin her around to the beat. Lyla doesn't want to think too much into this moment. She just wants to go for it and enjoy herself.

They dance through a couple more songs, holding each other close and kissing in between when Lyla starts to feel her vision fray at the edges in a nice way. Her limbs feel like feathers and she's warm to the touch. She suddenly can't stop smiling as she looks around at everyone around her.

The music seeps into her skin and feels so good. Bucky touches her arm, bringing her back to him and even his touch feels amazing. She can feel herself getting wet thinking about how good his cock would feel inside her.

He grabs her, looking deeply into her eyes as the crowd seems to slow down, almost like they'd been paused and rewound on an old VCR in slow motion.

His pupils are blown wide open and she feels like she could fall into them if she keeps staring. She laughs as he kisses her forehead. It's not enough. Lyla needs more.

"Let's go back upstairs." She shouts into his ear as they whizz through the crowd, laughing and touching every surface they pass because the vibrations on their skin are so intoxicating.

Every time James' arm brushes against her she feels herself get warmer. It's pure pleasure.

Getting back to the booth, people are completely ignoring them as they go about their own conversations and she sees more baggies be passed to and fro. Right now she just needs to carry on feeling James.

She pushes him down onto the bench and sits on his lap, straddling him as she kisses up the nape of his neck sloppily. Lyla wants him so badly she has no restraint left in her.

As far as she's aware the rest of the club doesn't exist. It's just those two and that moment. Everything sounds echoey and she tries not to panic, instead focusing on the small moans escaping Bucky's mouth as she finds his sweet spot.

Bucky grips onto her ass as she begins to subconsciously grind on him, feeling him harden beneath her. One hand stays on her ass, guiding her grinding, whilst the other moves up to the back of her neck, bringing her face back to his as they kiss hungrily again. James pulls back to study her face. He looks so turned on but also upset.

"I'm sorry Lyla." He mutters before he dives back into kissing again.

Lyla doesn't register it, nor does she care to as his fingers trail down the front of her body to her bare thigh. He inches higher and higher as their kiss gets more passionate, and soon his fingers are grazing over her panties.

Lyla pulls back this time, looking embarrassed but needy.

"James, we can't do this here." She mutters but desperately wants his hand to keep going.

To touch her where she needs it and ignite the spark that's already firing inside her. Bucky gives a mischievous grin.

"I can't wait. I need you Lyla. No one is looking. Besides, if they do I'll cut their fucking tongues out so they can't tell anyone what they saw." Bucky growls as he moves his hand even more, gracing over her clit and making her buck harder into him.

He groans himself as she rubs against his huge erection. Lyla wants to say no, think of her dignity, but the Molly and alcohol has her so fucking horny she might explode.

Bucky is loving Lyla's reaction as he's equally desperate for a release. He bites down on her shoulder making her whimper, before dipping a finger into her panties and pushing them to the side. She's soaking wet already.

He wants to tear all the fabric off her and fuck her against the railings to let everyone know he's won and she's his. Even if just for tonight. But he has to restrain himself.

As James collects the moisture on his finger he quickly brings it up to his mouth and moans as he licks her juices off him. Lyla is so turned on by the action, all she can do is watch with wide eyes.

"Jesus, fuck, that's what I've been missing?" He groans. "If you were mine I'd never let you be without my head between your legs and eating that pretty pussy of yours all day and night." He adds and Lyla can't take it anymore she needs a release.

"James. Please for the love of God, put your fingers back there." Lyla begs as she continues to move against him to get some friction.

James smirks wickedly.

"Doll, you know I like it when you call me by my other nickname." He warns.

"Bucky." She says dramatically into his ear. He smiles wider. "If you don't fuck me with those fingers right now I'm going to make myself cum on this couch by myself. I don't give a fuck." Lyla demands and Bucky feels his cock twitch.

She's a completely different person free of Odinson, and he absolutely loves it.

"Since you asked so nicely." He says going to resume but Lyla shakes her head.

He frowns.

"Not that hand. This one." She says, reaching for his metal prosthesis.

James hesitates. He hates the damn thing. It always made him stand out, always reminded him of his PTSD from the wars he fought in, the people he'd lost, but Lyla asking him with such a sultry look on her face, he can't say no.

He suddenly swaps hands and crawls back her legs, putting a finger inside her with ease. She lets out a whimper into his ear and he feels his dick twitch again. The sound was pure magic to him. He'd always wondered what she'd sound like moaning, and here he was.

He curls his finger to get her G spot before adding his thumb and circling on her clit. Lyla feels like she could cum embarrassingly quickly.

"Fuck!" She screams as he muffles the sounds with his own mouth.

To anyone else from behind it might just look like they're in a heavy make out session. He loves that he's doing this to her, in front of all these people.  It's filthy.

"You want another finger Doll?" He rasps into her ear and she looks at him, biting her lip and nodding.

"How bad?"

"So badly Bucky. Please." She begs again and he adds another digit.

She falls forward further into him.

"Already close baby girl. I've barely started. I can see it on your face. You gonna cum for me?" He whispers into her skin.

She's absolutely everything he dreamed of and more. He's furious at Loki for keeping her to himself and not sharing.

Lyla can only whimper and nod as he looks her in the eyes as she releases all over his hands, shouting profanities and his name over and over. When she thinks he will stop however, he keeps going.

"You can give me another one yet Doll. I can see how fucking horny you are. C'mon, ride my fingers, cum for me again." He demands and Lyla feels another building quickly.

She was never usually one to be able to orgasm back to back but her body feels so alive right now. Every nerve fibre is running at max capacity. She can't help it.

Before long she's cumming on his hand again, leaving a wet patch all over both their crotches as she comes down from her high, sweaty and collapsing against James' neck trying to catch her breath.

She doesn't have long to enjoy her post-orgasmic bliss however. Because before she knows it, a dagger is flying past her mere inches away from her face and aimed straight at James.

—

TW: mild drug use, depressive symptoms, drinking.