🥀 16 🥀

⚠️TW⚠️ (bottom of page)

~♡~

Lyla paces the guest room at Loki's house in her pyjamas. Her mind was all over the place and she can't keep still, as if she's trying to move the thoughts and feelings out of her brain; untangle the mess that's been created.

What was she doing here? In this situation? Was this love? Was she safe?

Loki had left her to settle in after the group had gotten pizza, with everyone eventually filing out around midnight. Lyla was absolutely exhausted, and she knew she had to go to work first thing which made it worse.

Loki had tried to persuade her not to go in, knowing that he knew where she works but Lyla wasn't going to let him have that power. She liked her job and Peggy. She needed some normality. She craved it. Much to Loki's displeasure.

Lyla smooths down her hair as picks up her phone, desperately looking for something to calm her thoughts. She was verging on a panic attack with the weight of everything now settling on her. She needed space, but knowing that Loki was only in the room across the hall made her want to go and seek comfort in him.

Seek comfort in a killer...what the Hell had happened to Lyla for her to end up here?

She feels a stray tear trickle down her face, quickly wiping it away and taking a book out of her bag, her dog-eared version of 1984 by Orwell that she'd re-read on too many occasions to count, a hand-me-down from her mother.

Lyla leans back against the headboard of the large, luxurious bed, concentrating on the feel of the silk sheets beneath her skin and the rough pages of the paper against her fingers. After ten minutes of reading the same page over and over and failing to be distracted, Lyla realises she needs something to settle her.

Carefully tip-toeing out of the room and down the vast hallways, Lyla finds her way down a floor to the kitchen, spreading her toes against the cool marble underneath her.

She breathes out a breath she didn't realise she was holding as she begins searching cabinets for something to take her mind off things. Lyla sees a half empty bottle of red wine that Nat had been drinking earlier and finds a crystal glass to pour some into.

Taking the remains of the bottle and the glass, she carefully treads back up the flight of stairs back to the guest room, desperate not to make a sound and wake Loki.

She didn't want him to worry, and they still hadn't properly spoken about everything that had gone on before he'd sprang into action, entering his business mode which both frightened and thrilled Lyla.

Lyla closes the door behind her, settling back into bed and taking a swig of the red liquid, relishing how it warms her throat and stings slightly at the same time.

Before Lyla had realised it, she'd finished the half a bottle to herself, feeling heady and light enough to try and sleep. She places the bottle back on the side, flicking off the light and taking a deep breath as she lies down, staring up at the blackness of the ceiling above her, wishing it would swallow her whole.

Soon after, her eyes were being dragged closed into slumber.

He slams the door shut, blocking her way out. Her only way out. Lyla bites her lip, trying not to show how scared she was to the man before her. The man she thought she loved and who loved her back.

"I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean to come home late, it won't happen again. Nat and I lost track of time and she-" Lyla begins before she's cut off by a strong arm grabbing her wrist and dragging her backwards to the lounge, throwing her sharply onto the floor.

Lyla feels a tear slide out but quickly hides it, for fear of making him angrier.

"Enough about Nat. I'm fucking sick of hearing about her. Since when did you love her more than me? She just puts up with you because she feels sorry for you. She doesn't care for you like I do!" He yells, his eyes flaring and the veins bulging on his forehead as he shouts.

Lyla cowers into herself. She told herself she wouldn't let herself be in a situation like this again the first time it happened, but now it was happening more often than not. She was terrified, but she still loved him. She just needed to learn how not to upset him better. It was her own fault. She felt her stomach tighten.

"I do love you, I'm sorry. I'll be more careful next time. Please!" She stutters as she holds her hands up in defeat, desperately trying to calm down the man before her.

Her adrenaline was like poison in her veins. Half of her brain was telling her this wasn't right and she needed to run far away, the other half was telling her she deserved this.

"There won't be a next time, you're not seeing her again. I tried to trust you but enough's enough." He said as he moved to crouch over her, grabbing her face between his fingers so she couldn't help but stare into his dark and furious pupils.

Lyla whimpered in pain at his tight grip on her skin.

"You're hurting me, please." She mumbled before he pulled her to her feet, marching her over to the bedroom and flinging her inside like a rag doll.

Lyla hit her ribs on the side of the dressing table as she fell backwards, groaning in pain, but quickly getting back to her feet when she saw what he was doing.

"You're going to sit and think about what you've done. You can come out when I tell you to." He spat as he backed out of the room, picking up her phone which had fallen to the floor and putting it into his pocket, slamming the door shut behind him.

Lyla ran to the door, pounding on it until her fists were raw.

"Please let me out, please don't leave me here. I promise, I'll make it up to you, I'll do whatever you want. Please." She begged, knowing it was pointless.

He could never be bargained with in these states.

"If I see you leave this room, there'll be trouble, you hear me?" He says through the wood with such venom, Lyla is convinced in that moment he might actually kill her.

She backs away from the door, tears streaming down her face as she gulps in fear.

She drops to her knees, crawling backwards until her back hits the frame of the bed facing the door, bringing her knees to her chest as she tries to soothe herself and calm her breathing. She'd been in this position before.

The worst part was there wasn't even a lock on the door, just pure fear and control keeping her inside. She felt weak and helpless. She didn't deserve anything.

"I said do you hear me?!" He screamed, banging on the door and making Lyla jump in her skin.

She quickly sniffled back the tears, trying not to let him hear her cry.

"Yes, I hear you." She said back as bravely as she could.

"I'll be back soon. I'll be watching." He said as she heard him pick up his keys and leave the flat.

Lyla knew there was a camera in the living room, facing the bedroom door. She knew that she could get up and run as fast as her legs could carry her and out the door, away from all of this. But she was paralysed with fear. Pathetic.

"Please help me." She cried to no-one but herself.

~♤~

"Lyla! Lyla wake up!" Loki calls as he leans over her, watching the girl beneath him thrash around, whimpering in the sheets.

Even in the dark he can see the way her brows are drawn together and the sweat that shines off her forehead. He'd been woken up by screaming, immediately rushing out of his room and to hers, thinking someone had gotten in. Seeing her in so much pain broke his heart.

He gently places a hand on her arm, trying to wake her and stop this nightmare she was having. The contact of his cool hand on her burning skin makes Lyla bolt upright in bed, panting heavily as her eyes open wide, looking around the room. Lyla immediately backs further away from Loki, tears down her face.

"Hey, it's just me Pet, it's ok." Loki soothes as he takes a step away from her bed, hands in the air as he tries to calm her.

All he wants to do is grab her and hold her tightly, but he isn't sure what's best in this situation. He didn't usually have anyone to soothe him when it was his demons keeping him awake at night.

Lyla takes a couple more deep breaths as she looks around the room, her eyes finally taking in Loki and where she is, realising she is safe.

"Loki, I'm....I'm sorry, I just..." Lyla breaths heavily, unable to form the words.

Loki quietly and carefully sits on the edge of the bed opposite her, giving her space.

"It's okay, no need to explain. You're safe, I'm here." He whispers into the darkness, his own heart beating fast from being awoken with such force.

He looks deeply at her, noticing the sheer panic that had been on her face and seeing the bottle of wine by the side of her bed. He could spot the signs all too well, having faced them himself on a regular basis. The signs of things getting bad again.

Lyla took a couple of minutes to get her breath back whilst Loki went into the bathroom, fetching her a glass of water, tentatively handing it to her, giving her a small smile as he did.

Lyla accepts the drink, taking slow sips as Loki sits a little closer to her now on the bed that she was calmer.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Loki asks softly as he brushes his hair behind his ears.

He'd been unsure if inviting Lyla to stay here was the right thing for her, or if she'd have been offended that he gave her the spare room, but he still wasn't used to sharing a bed, and he thought she might need space. Everything was so complicated.

Lyla takes another sip before placing the glass on the side, looking sheepishly at the evidence of her midnight wander to the kitchen for alcohol before looking back at Loki tiredly.

"I haven't had one that bad in a while." She murmurs and Loki exhales sharply.

His instincts were right. It had to be because Lyla's scumbag of an ex was back. Her absolutely hated the person who was plaguing her like this. He clenches his fists, trying to calm himself now enough to be here for Lyla without flying off the handle. If it was up to him, he'd track down the guy right now and scalp him for fun.

"It's ok. I'm not going to let him hurt you again." Loki whispers into the darkness of the room and Lyla nods slightly as she wipes her face.

"I know, Loki, well I think I do. Just a lot has gone on recently. I'm not sure what we are, who I am anymore and now he's back his control over me has just reappeared. I fought so hard to shake it off, to cut my strings from him." Lyla says sadly and Loki chews his lip in thought.

"He doesn't deserve that hold over you Lyla, he never did." Loki says firmly, trying to keep the acidity out of his tone but it doesn't go unnoticed by Lyla.

She scoots a little closer to him, slowly taking his hand in hers gingerly. Loki doesn't move, letting her dictate the action. Lyla entwines her fingers in his.

"He used to shut me away in the bedroom when I'd upset him. If I left he'd beat me. The most stupidest part of all was that there was never a lock on the fucking door. Nothing even keeping me in there." Lyla says quietly as she feels more tears escape her.

Loki wants to hold her so tightly and never let go. He reaches his other hand up to her face, brushing away one that falls from her cheek.

"There was something keeping you in there though, wasn't there?" Loki asks rhetorically. "He didn't need a lock when he had your fear." Lyla sniffs, nodding in agreement.

"Please, Darling, do not worry about us, I know we haven't spoken much about it yet, but I did mean it when I said I love you. I know it sounds strange for me to say out loud, and I'm not sure how we will work, out here in this world I'm in. I don't want you to be a part of it. You've gone through too much. But I know that no-one has made me feel like you do. No one has ever accepted me as fully as you have. I am so lucky to have you in my life Lyla. I'll never hurt you." Loki breathed as he stared at Lyla with adoration.

Lyla smiles softly before shuffling closer to Loki, resting her head against his shoulder in comfort. Loki grins to himself, glad that she finds comfort.

"I want to be part of your world Loki because you're in it. I've been through so much, I'm sick of being the victim. You take care of me but you also empower me. Like that new apartment you got me, it's just beautiful." Lyla says happily now that her mind is taken off her flashback.

Loki strokes her hair lovingly as he presses a kiss to her forehead.

"My world is dangerous Ly. I can't live with you being hurt again. I don't know how this will work. My father, he's not a nice man. He drove my mother away before her death. He sees my brother and I as nothing but employees. Lyla, I can't get out of this world for anything. Not even for you." Loki blurts out, realising that he's shared a lot.

Lyla tightens her grip on Loki from the side.

"I don't know where we go from here. But I'm not leaving you." Lyla sighs. Loki hums in agreement.

"You need to sleep Sweetheart. Let's leave this for another day." Loki mutters as he feels helpless, knowing this problem isn't going to be solved right now.

Loki goes to stand up but Lyla tugs at his wrist.

"Deja vu, but please, will you stay Loki? Please? I don't want to be on my own." Lyla asks feebly.

Loki swallows hard. "Of course." He says, going to settle down next to her before she stands up herself.

"Can we go to your room? I need a change of scenery." Lyla asks timidly. Loki looks at her for a moment contemplating before he nods, taking her hand and leading her into his master suite.

Lyla trails behind, looking at the four poster bed in dark wood and the many antique books that adorn the shelves. Even in the moonlight, Lyla can see how impressive his room is, bigger than her whole apartment.

She realises in that moment that this is probably the first time Loki has shared his room with anyone. And despite the reason she's in here, she feels incredibly lucky.

Loki leads Lyla to his bed, looking nervous as he holds open the side of his duvet for her to get in. Lyla slides in to the luxurious sheets, the softest material she's even felt around her skin.

Loki walks to the other side, clearing his throat and getting in next to her. It felt so domesticated and normal. So foreign.

Lyla rolls over into Loki, putting her head on his bare chest and defined abs. Loki places a kiss on the top of her head, feeling strangely complete despite the alienness of the situation.

"I love you Loki." Lyla mumbles sleepily.

Loki feels his mouth stretch into a wide grin in the dark.

"I love you too Pet." He whispers.

---

⚠️TW: DV themes.⚠️

A/N: I've split the next chapter so another filler one for now :) hope this is OK!!