Chapter 4

 (A/N: Who wants Summer? *raises hand* I SURE DO! Anyways, I have so many chapters in the drafts, so expect good updating, sometimes I'll have to take care of my other stories, but don't worry, the next couple of chapters are already written, woo!!! I love you all soooooooooooooooooooo much, mwahhhh <3)

Chapter 4 :D

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Lacy's POV

I stormed back home, noticing that my car was parked differently, I felt really confused, but I shook it off, walking inside of my house.

"Hey...Lacy." Nathan awkwardly waved to me.

"Erm, hey." I waved back, he seemed...different, at least...that's what I think. I mean him and I aren't that close at all, but he just, I don't know. I could be totally wrong, I barely spend time with my family as it is.

"Mom filled your car up."

"She did?"

"Yeah, she noticed that you left your keys in the car, they're in the kitchen...on the table." Nathan stared at the t.v, but it wasn't even on.

"Are you okay?"

"Erm...yeah, why do you ask?"

"No reason, thanks for telling me about my car." I said, walking into the kitchen, seeing my keys lying in the middle of the table.

"Lacy? What do you do every time you go out?" Nathan was now blocking the stairway.

"And why do you care?"

"I'd rather be more involved in your life, we are siblings." Nathan pointed out, like it wasn't that obvious before.

"Hang out." I answered, trying to get past him, but he put his arms out on each side, both pushed against a wall.

"With?"

"I don't always have to be with friends and siblings don't always get along, now please, move." All I wanted to do was finish my homework, and write in my diary.

"How come you never bring any friends over?"

"Because I get tired of friends after 24 hours of being with people, it's the way I function, not everyone is the same, Nathan." I tried walking to the left, but he moved to where I couldn't get through him.

"Are you done asking questions?! I'd like to go up to my room and finish my homework." 

"Fine, but I'd like to talk more later."

"Ha, whatever." I mumbled to myself, hurrying up the steps, and I locked my room.

Diary. Diary. Diary.

Dear Diary,

     Rule #17: Don't always trust boys, even if they're new strangers (acquaintances) They will possibly ruin your life and tell your BIGGEST secret(s).

I didn't expect myself to try and friend anyone soon, but this 'James' kid thinks he can be friends with me, I've told him my secret, but I found out his lies, he's been lying to me, so now my secret might come out. I can't trust anyone, I guess there is some upsides to having no friends, it's not like anyone will like me anyway, everyone hates me. HATES me. I'm pathetic, useless, worthless, unresponsible, ugly, rubbish, clumsy, cut myself, timid, overthink things, life ruiner, and stupid. Why can't 'James' understand this?

I'm tired of having to worry about being bullied several times... I'm tired of being the outcast... I'm tired of being so scared... but I'm also tired of trying... I'm tired of being pushed and told off all of the time... I'm tired of the way people treat me... I'm tired of hiding from the students at school... I'm tired of being tired... I'm tired of my life... sometimes... I think 'People wouldn't care if I was dead, they want that... they all want that. So why not?' but then again... I must think about my family, even if I don't interact with them that often. Only two more years of high school... two more... and I'll be out of there... out of the bullying... out of my shell... and out of being controlled all of the time.

But would ending it now be so bad?

Let's name the people who want me dead: Everyone at school. Fantastic.

Name the people who don't: Possibly my family, maybe James. Wonderful.

See which one is more? Tells me that I should, but I'm holding on by a thread... holding on by a thread...

- Lacy x

Why am I not likable? Is it that I'm so shy? Is it that I'm hideous? Is it that I'm useless? Is it that I'm not a sport player? I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath.

Bump.

I heard something...what was that? I looked around my room, it looks like nothing has fell, what?

Bump.

My head shot towards the window, small pebbles hit it every minute. I shoved my diary back under the bed, peeking through my curtain to see James standing there with several rocks in his hands.

I opened it, but not at a good time, one had hit me in the forehead, hard. I reached my hand up, holding it tight, I groaned in pain, it's like getting punched in the face.

"I'm so sorry! Please come down! PLEASE!" James begged, looking super guilty. Why? Didn't we talk earlier?

"No." I groaned, shaking my head.

"Please?! I'm begging you!" James removed his sunglasses, hooking them on his shirt, squinting his eyes quickly as the sun blinded him.

"Urgh." I slammed my window shut, I ran out of the front door, stomping on the grass as he made me come out here.

"What?!" I threw my hands in the air.

"Oh-I did that...oh..." James brushed his fingers over the newly bruised bump he had just given me. It was pounding just in that one spot, I winced in his touch, he drew his hand back, watching me.

"What do you want?" I crossed my arms, I felt furious that he was here in the first place. Can't he be done with me already?

"I may...have said that about my eyes...but it was only...because of my insecurity with my looks...I would never tell your secret, and I want you to know that. I'm not like that, I don't want to be on your bad side. I never wanted to be on your bad side." James responded to me, looking quite upset.

"Well you're not getting off on a good start lately..." 

"I know! I screwed up! That was completely my fault! I'm trying my best to make it up to you, I want to be your friend, please?" James touched out to my arm, but I yanked it back.

"First of all, don't touch me, that's getting on my nerves already, second, if you want to make it up to me, quit lying to me, just let out whatever you need to now unless that was it." I took a step back from him.

"I've told you my biggest secret there, you told me yours, our lips are locked, sealed, zipped, and whatever other way there is for closing your mouth to keep it locked."

"Stitched or sewed."

James chuckled slightly, "I think that fits in the sealed category." 

"I really need to go finish my homework." I pointed with the back of my thumb over my shoulder to my house, he understood.

"Okay, I'll text you some time. I know you may not like me touching you, but I'm asking for permission to hug you." He sounded so cheesy right now, I only stuck out my hand.

"You can build up to that point, but for now...this." I said, holding it out longer.

"Okay, thank you." James said, shaking my hand, he waved while walking to his car. I nodded my head while returning back inside, only to see Nathan peeking through the living room window at us.

"Nathan!"

"Who's the boy?"

"Obviously none of your business!" I spat, walking up the set of stairs into my room. Time for Geometry and French homework. Gah.

"Je ne sais pas!" I groaned, getting stuck on one of my French questions. Translation of what I had said: I don't know.

My stomach started grumbling, loudly. Gah. I walked out of my room, heading down into the kitchen, I didn't realize it was getting late, it's already 10:30 p.m. I sighed, grabbing left overs that they had just had, looks like pizza.

 I heated two slices and devoured them, yum. It feels like it's been a while since food, but I've snacked here and there. I mean, who hasn't? My phone started having a vibrating attack in my pocket, I opened up to see a message from James, great.

From: James

Hey, you might be sleeping or you may be not, just wanted to tell you goodnight :) x

I felt the corners of my mouth push up a little, I may have been mad at him, but he can secretly make me smile at the most random times. I also don't feel like texting him back, but wouldn't it be the right thing to do?

To: James

Yeah yeah, blondie, goodnight x

I didn't want him to know I was smiling, but I thought leaving the 'x' would be a nice gesture, or maybe a cute one. He seems that he would do that with every message. Hm.

I placed my plate gently into the sink, not wanting to wake anyone up, and hurried back into my room. Sleep, I need it, but first...I left a whole bunch of papers around my floor, desk, and bed. Great. I grabbed every piece, shoving it into my backpack without making it neat or anything, I didn't care at this point. I was too tired to get the motivation to worry more about school at the moment.

"LIKE WE'RE GONNA DIE YOUNG-" I slid my phone to unlock, that scares me about every morning, but it does wake me up. Thank god for phone alarms.

I pushed myself to sit up, rubbing my tired eyes, and walked lazily towards the bathroom. I looked like a total mess, wonderful. Where's my brush, ah! There it is, I brushed my tangled rat nest of hair, making it look like it's normal waves, much better. I grabbed my tooth brush, brushing my teeth, then I grabbed some of my make-up. The main thing I use is my powder foundation, it's just like my skin color, though it makes it look like I'm glowing, and it also covers some of my blemishes too, so there's a good thing about that. I also added some mascara to brighten up my eye lashes and some light pink eye shadow. Lip gloss is always something sweet to wear.

What to wear? Maybe a dress? I don't have gym today, at least I don't think, I'll wear my supras with my dress if that's the case. I grabbed my white elegant dress, which I absolutely adored. Beanie, beanie, beanie, what color...grey, yes. I'll go with that beanie. I placed it on my my head, gently trying not to get my hair bunched up, tried that one time, it wasn't...pretty, then again, why bother trying to make myself pretty...everyone here thinks I'm 'hideous.' I grabbed my 'love' ring along with my bow earrings and infinity necklace. (A/N: OUTFIT IN EXTERNAL LINK!)

This usually doesn't take me much time, so I was already out of my room, but my brothers door was open. Why?

"Nathan?" I walked in, regretting it as a bad smell came about, why doesn't he clean his room?! It's horrid in here!!!!

"Mm, no." Nathan was still sleeping on his bed.

"Get up, loser. School today." I tossed one of his shirts at him, waiting until he actually got up from bed, and shut his door, practically kicking me out.

"Yeah thanks, love you too, little bro." I rolled my eyes, heading down stairs, but I waited when I heard voices.

"You seem like such a lovely boy, James, you're really a nice boy. Thank you for wanting to take my daughter to school." My mother's voice said. James, what is he doing here?!

"It's my pleasure, she's a really cool girl, and a very nice friend." James, are you kidding me? He knows I'm  not a nice friend, he knows I haven't wanted to be friends with him, and he well knows that I'm not 100% about friendships.

"You know, I've never seen her ever bring a friend home, were you that boy who sent her the letter with a rose taped on top, oh wait...she did say it was from the wrong person, I apologize. Do you two ever go on dates?" I bet my mother was smiling like a Chesire cat. Fantastic.

"Hey mom- James?" I pretended as if I was never listening to the conversation and was utterly shocked with this situation.

"Hi Lacy." James waved, a small smirk on his face, oh wow. He thinks he's so smart and cheeky eh? Well, he's not.

"Erm, what are you doing here?" I pulled one of those fake smiles, turning to my mom desperately to get some help from her, but she just went to the fridge, grabbing the orange juice that we had about every morning, even sometimes if we're running early, we'll get toast.

"I'm giving you a ride for school." James smiled, stuffing his hands into his pocket, he had his hood ready again, hope he doesn't try to hide his self this time...

"Oh-ohh." I nodded, watching his eyes move down to stare at my outift, he looked back up at me, then at my mom.

"Is Nathan up, dear?" My mother handed both James and I some Orange Juice, we mumbled a thanks, and I nodded to her, sipping on it.

"Alright, you two should get going or you're going to be late, honey." My mom looked at the time on her watch, she rushed around the kitchen, maybe she needs to make something?

"Good idea, Mrs. Serene." James agreed, but she stopped us.

"Oh and James? Call me Regina." Wow, she wants him to use her first name? Well, haven't heard her say that in a LONG time.

"Thanks again, Regina." James waved to my mother again and we headed out of the door.

"Why are you doing this?" I questioned him, not going anywhere near his car, I have my own, why would he want to take me??

"Because I want us to be good friend, Lace, that's why." James stopped after opening his car door.

"You know I have my own car, how am I supposed to get back home?!" I pointed directly at my car, he shrugged, motioning me to get in his car.

"No, I mean we can hang out later, maybe not again, but I have my own ride." I refused his offer and suggestions.

"I can always come and pick you up from school." James tried changing my mind, but I only unlocked my car, he got in front of me.

"Go on a date with me." It was more like a statement instead of a nice suggestion or a question, but he did have a smile on his face.

"What?" I was dumbfounded by his words, is he crazy?

"Will you go on a date with me?" He seemed now a little less confident.

"No, I can't, no." I ran into my car, but he gripped my arm, spinning me around to face him.

"I know your secret though." James whispered in my ear, I felt my throat close a little with his choice of words.

"Are you...are you black mailing...me?" I was on a verge of tears at this point, he looked at me with a raised eye brow.

"I'll pick you up at seven, by the way, you look pretty." James got into his car, leaving. 

I stood in my driveway shocked, did he really just black mail me into going on a stupid date with him?! Oh my god, crying before school? Ugh.

James...I hate you...I hate you so much.

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- Kristin xx