6

The thought of staying in bed and isolating myself from the world was tempting.

But I knew I couldn't run away from my problems forever. Especially when my thoughts kept returning to Riddle.

I shook my head, stood up and put on a normal tight top and jeans. Since I was out of class, I didn't have to put on the uniform. I briefly looked over at the clock again.

Lunchtime. It had been a few hours since I woke up from my fainting.

Time to return to everyday life.

When I entered the large hall, the usual noise could be heard.

Confusion of voices, the rattle of cutlery, the scratching of chairs.

I took a deep breath and let my eyes wander around the room.

Of course, Harry sat with Ron and Hermione in his usual place.

Without much thought about it, I went over to him first as usual. It had become a ritual - that short, wordless sign that we were still siblings, even if our houses separated us.

I sat down next to him, pulled my cloak tighter around me and immediately felt the curious eyes of Ron and Hermione on me. They were used to me sitting down with them briefly before joining my friends, but still there was a certain tension in the air.

"Hey," Harry greeted me as he took a piece of bread. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine," I replied, though that wasn't entirely true. "Thank you for bringing me the food last night."

Harry frowned and shook his head. "Huh?... I didn't bring you anything."

I paused, a moment of confusion sant through me. "What? But the tray on my bedside table... I thought it was you."

He shook his head again, a slight smile playing around his lips. "I was with you last night but you were fast asleep. I didn't want to wake you up. I would have put the food for you but... that was definitely not me."

"Oh," I said, smiling. "Ohh, Pans'"

Ron snorted and leaned forward. "Pansy Parkinson brings you food in bed? How long has she been so kind?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ron, stop, that's her friend, you idiot."

I laughed softly even though my head was still trying to process everything. "Don't worry, she certainly wouldn't poison me."

"Not yet," Harry repeated with a grin. "But I didn't think she was so caring."

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's complicated, but we're best friends."

A slight smile ran over my lips. "It's not as terrible as everyone thinks."

"You know she's still hanging out with Draco, Lorenzo and what they're all called, right? Not to mention, Mattheo Riddle." Ron raised an eyebrow as if to remind me that Pansy wasn't exactly the nicest person.

"And Draco isn't that bad either, just like Lorenzo. We don't have to talk about Mattheo."

I countered, without going into further.

Still better than surrounding yourself all day with Gryffindors who condemn me because I'm a Slytherin.

I thought to myself, but I didn't speak.

"Well, how are you really?" Harry asked again, this time a little more seriously.

He leaned forward a bit, as if he wanted to make sure I couldn't dodge.

I hesitated. "I... I feel better,"

I finally said.

"It's been a bit much the last few days, but... it's okay."

I smiled weakly, but Harry looked at me with those piercing eyes as if he knew I was hiding something.

Maybe I did, but I didn't want to worry him any more.

"If you need anything... you know you can call me, right?" He said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Of course." I nodded and tried to sound convincing. "I'll call you if anything happens, I promise."

"I told you yesterday," said Harry, grinning slightly. "You were so fast asleep I thought you wouldn't wake up."

"I..." A slight smile played around my lips even when I suddenly felt nauseous at the thought of how hard I had really slept.

"Thank you for looking after me."

"So," he replied gently.

"I should sit down with my people now. I'm sure Pansy is already waiting."

"Say hello to her for us," said Ron dryly, to which Hermione gave him another light push.

"I will," I replied with a slight smile before saying goodbye to them and going to my own table.

I sat down at the Slytherin table when the attention of my friends immediately turned to me. Mattheo, as always, couldn't help but piss me off.

"Well, finally among the living?" He said with that mocking grin, which was slowly getting on my nerves.

"Do you seriously think I'd leave the fun to you?" I looked at him defiantly and grabbed my fork demonstratively, since I ate this one sandwich this morning, I couldn't eat anymore. So I faked it again, even though Mattheo had seen through it, my strategy. "Dream on, Riddle"

"Fun? You?" Mattheo laughed softly, his eyes sparkling.

"Potter, you're way too good to show up at a real party. No chance you're there."

His voice was dripping with sarcasm, as if he considered me completely bored.

Before I could say anything back and ask what kind of party he was talking about, Draco came up with.

He sat next to Mattheo and let his gaze slowly slide down on me. "Pretty outfit today, Potter," he remarked with an amused smile, while his eyes looked almost dreamy.

"Maybe not as innocent as we thought," he added.

I felt my face getting hot but before I could snort at him Pansy interrupted him:

"Draco, stop staring at her like that, you're just making it scarier." She grinned widely and winked at me before shaking her head. "But let's be honest Sarah, we're talking about the best party of the year. You can't seriously say no. All the houses are coming."

"I... I don't know," I began, playing nervously with my sleeve. "Harry probably won't like it."

"Fuck Harry," said Enzo, hitting the table with his fist. "You've had a shitty week so it's time for you to have some fun! Drink yourself." he grinned.

Theo, who was sitting next to Pansy, glanced at me with a smile. "We need you there, Sarah. It only gets really funny when you show up. In addition..." He raised his eyebrows and grinned mischievously. "I've never seen you drunk."

Pansy agreed with him immediately. "Come on, Sarah! What's the worst thing that could happen? You've had so much stress you deserve to relax."

"Forget it." Mattheo leaned back, his arms crossed, as if he had the last word. "Potter is too good a girl to really hang out with us. Parties are not for them."

That was the point where I was fed up. Mattheo could provoke me as much as he wanted, but I had enough of all those shitty days. Enough of the eternal pressure.

Fuck it.

"You know what, Riddle?" I stood up, leaned on the table and looked directly at him. "I'm in."

A brief moment of silence, then the group burst into jubilation. Blaise nodded appreciatively at me. "Oh yeah, baby, that's how I want to see it."

"This is getting legendary," Draco said, his gaze still a little too attentively to me.

"I'll see you tomorrow. And Potter..." He grinned slightly. "Surprise us."

"Mhm I will," I replied with a small but sure-sale smile.

I finally had control again.

While the others continued talking, I leaned back and let my thoughts drift.

The party.

What had I been doing?

I'm fucked.

Actually, I wasn't the type who liked to be in a room with so many people—especially not when alcohol was involved.

But something in me was literally crying out to break out of my routine.

The week had been an absolute disaster.

The constant stress with Harry, the annoying looks and hostilities with Mattheo, my own thoughts, which I couldn't even organize properly... I just needed a break.

A night I didn't have to worry about anything.

In which I wasn't Sarah Potter the "good sister", the Slytherin outsider or anything else.

Damn, I really wanted to get drunk. Turn off your head.

Away with all the worries, away with the problems that have been haunting me like a shadow for days.

Why not? A drink or two... or more. Maybe that was exactly what I needed right now.

When everyone was on their way to their classes, I stayed behind for a while.

Part of me wanted to force me to go with them, just to pretend that everything was normal.

But I was still logged out of the hours and the truth was that I felt too drained to torture myself through another boring lesson.

So I made my way back to my room instead.

When I opened the door, the sight of the drawing that was still on my bedside table immediately hit me.

My gaze lingered on the delicate lines as the person had captured every little thing about me.

Who was this mysterious person who actually saw me?

It was strange to see such a picture of yourself, as if someone had been watching me and absorbed all my details.

But then Mattheo's words came back to my memory.

His mocking voice echoed in my head:

"Whoever has drawn you like that, just wants to lay you down..."

And that contemptuous look with which he looked at the drawing, as if I were nothing more than an object in someone's imagination.

It made me angry. So angry that I almost tore the sheet of paper. Who gave Mattheo the right to say something like that about me?

He thought he knew everything about me, as if he could just put me in a box and think he had seen through me.

As if he could win with his words and his cold manner.

But he was wrong.

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me the way he wanted.

He thought I was weak that he could break me so easily. But that wouldn't happen.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

Mattheo Riddle would not win.

I put the drawing back on the bedside table and smoothed it.

Maybe I didn't know who made them, but I certainly wouldn't let Mattheo turn my head.

He was just another stone in my way—and I'd get him out of the way no matter how hard he tried to hurt me.

With a determined breath, I lay down on my bed, suppressing the thoughts of Mattheo.

It was time to regain control of me.

I jumped up? I searched my closet, but the longer I searched the clearer it became.

Nothing.

Not a single piece of clothing that somehow fit the party.

Everything seemed either too good, too simple or simple... inappropriate.

I let the hangers slide through my fingers one by one and felt a soft sigh from my chest.

"Oh God," I thought resignedly as I let myself fall back on my bed, "I'm really too good somewhere. The bastard," I muttered to myself.

No wonder Mattheo had raised me so much.

Who went to a party without even starting to have the right outfit?

I put my arm over my forehead and stared at the ceiling.

The music played quietly in the background, while I wondered what I should do now. Maybe Pansy could help later.

She always had a feel for such things and I was sure that somewhere in her wardrobe she had hidden the perfect figure-hugging dress for me.

Figure-hugging because I know that Pansy will make me look slutty..

𓆗

When I sat down at the table next to Blaise and Theodore, I heard them in the middle of one of their senseless discussions.

"I swear giraffes don't make noise," Blaise insisted, shaking his head as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"You have no idea, man."

Theo replied with a wide grin. "They do make noises, it's just so rare that you hardly notice it. But at night when they're alone... believe me, they can get really loud."

"What the fuck," Blaise threw back and laughed. "You've seen too many funny videos, Theo."

I just stared bored at my plate. In front of me was a piece of bread and a salad that Draco had just loaded for me.

He had probably noticed that I hadn't eaten anything right for a while and now thought it was his duty to make sure I eat.

God, if he only knew that he was just pre-programming the pusing for me.

Draco leaned slightly over to me and grinned askance. "You better eat something before the boys make another bet out of it," he said, without losing sight of the argument between Blaise and Theo.

"Just wait," Theo said suddenly with a serious expression. "I'll show you a video of a giraffe screaming, you'll kiss my feet."

Blaise laughed out loud. "Brother, when giraffes scream, I swear I'll start talking to horses."

I couldn't help but smile slightly. This discussion was so typical of the two of them.

But the pressure on me weighed heavier as I took the knife and fork in my hand and skewered a bite of salad. I couldn't stop thinking about how Draco was watching me. His eyes were mute but full of expectation, as if it was his personal mission to ensure that I would at least eat something today.

"What about you, Sarah?" Blaise suddenly looked at me. "Are you Team Theo or Team Blaise when it comes to these giraffes?"

"Oh, I don't know, I think they're making noises," I said absently and put a small bite in my mouth that I could hardly taste. "Maybe they're really screaming at night to bark at the moon. No plan, man."

Theo stood up, his hands hammering on the table. "Pah! That's exactly what I'm saying! Sarah got it, oh yeah baby!"

I rolled my eyes, Pansy brushed her hair out of her face, and rolled her eyes too.

"Who the hell do giraffes itch? Even if, I'm sure that the things make 100% no noise."

Now it was Blaise who jumped up.

"Two to two, bitch!"

Mattheo grinned, and pulled Blaise and Theo back down by their arms to sit down.

"You bastards have too much energy."

Theo and Blaise pouted, a soft giggl escaped my lips. Before suddenly someone squeezed between me and Pansy.

Sorry guys, had to escape from Sprout. She wanted to force me to try her new herbal mixtures. Hell, that smell would have knocked me out at Nahe." Enzo muttered out of breath.

"Do you have to squeeze your fat ass exactly between me and Pansy?" I grinned. God, Enzo was a pure fever dream.

"You're just jealous of my fat ass," he pouted.

Draco looked at me from the side, his gaze again unobtrusive, but demanding. "Don't stress," he murmured softly, so that only I could hear it. "But eat something."

I nodded reluctantly and forced myself to take the next bite until my stomach was full.

The way to the Slytherin common room was, as always, full of laughter and exuberant conversations.

Mattheo, Pansy, Theo and Enzo grabbed the foosball table directly, while Blaise and Draco strolled to the pool table.

But at the foosball table, before they could play, there was a group of first graders who did not leave the room quickly enough.

"Get out there," Matthew's voice was deep and threatening.

It didn't take more to literally scare the first graders out of the common room.

He was good at scaring the younger ones - it certainly didn't help that he was Voldemort's son.

His call was ahead of him and he seemed to enjoy it.

Dirty bastard.

A cold smile played around his lips as the little ones disappeared in panic. "Amateur," he murmured before leaning relaxed against the foosball table.

However, I felt worse and worse. The food from earlier was like a stone in my stomach. "I'll go to the bathroom for a moment," I said quickly without waiting for an answer. No one really paid attention to me – perfectly.

In the silence of the toilet I closed the door behind me my breathing became heavier and the pressure in my stomach was barely bearable.

Too much...

I thought in a panic as I realized that I had to get rid of it. I couldn't take it anymore.

I scurried into a cabin, closed the door and bent over the toilet bowl.

The bitter taste rose into my mouth while everything I had eaten came out again.

The pain and nausea slowly subsided but the empty, oppressive pressure remained.

Again...

How long is this supposed to go on? How long should I throw up every meal on the same night?

I washed and stared briefly into the mirror.

Pale face, tense features.

A zombie.

I squirted cold water on my face, rinsed my mouth and tried to collect myself before I went back.

Everything will be fine, they don't notice anything.

When I returned to the common room I saw Pansy and Theo laughing out loud while they cheered each other on at the table football. I leaned against the table.

I laughed and tried to ignore the faint feeling in my stomach while I continued to lean against the foosball table.

Pansy stood wide-legged and determined at the foosball table next to Enzo, while she kept the ball firmly in mind. Enzo, as always with a huge grin on his lips, was ready to apply his exaggerated tactics.

On the other side were Theodore and Mattheo, who both stood there with a cool and casual attitude as if they didn't care, even though both didn't want to lose.

When the ball rolled, Pansy scored a quick goal. She gave her teammate Enzo a triumphant look before turning to Theodore who looked at her with a sparking smile.

"Ha! You motherfuckers!" Enzo grinned as he gave Pansy a high-five.

It was clear that between the Pansy and Theo there was this unspoken tension in the air that everyone could notice. Theo leaned a little over the table and said softly, but with a challenging undertone, "Wait from Parkinson's, that was just luck."

Pansy grinned back, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Luck or ability, Nott." Her words were more teasing than really threatening and Theo raised his eyebrows playfully.

Mattheo rolled his eyes, Enzo playfully drew a disgusted look.

"God, find yourself a room," murmured Matthew. "Honestly, why are you on my team at all. You belong in Theo's bed," Enzo agreed with him.

God, I pinched my laughter so hard.

"Eat you both, just because you can't get any women." Pansy rolled her eyes, and a grin bit away.

"Mhm. Queen Pans' has spoken," Theodore muttered with a proud grin as he scored a goal.

"With such a teammate, I don't need enemies." Enzo twisted his face as he sent Pansy an angry look over.

I loved my friends so much, but once again it felt like I was invisible. It's no secret that I'm not exactly the most mentally stable at the moment, but why did it feel like I wasn't seen.

Then the drawing came back to my mind, someone drew me so precisely, as if he had seen me for hours, as if he had voluntarily focused only on me.

But at the same time at the thought of the drawing, the thought of Mattheo's words came to me.

Did this person really see me so beautiful for who I was? Or was I really just a part of his or her disturbed fantasies...?

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I returned to the conversation.

Mattheo sparkled at Theo and suddenly said: "Well, we all know, Theo, that you have no chance with Pansy. If you were as good in bed as at the table, then maybe."

Theo laughed out loud before grinning and saying "Oh come on, we know that you would get weak right away with Sarah if she only showed a little interest instead of squeaking at you every time."

My heart suddenly beat faster.

Abside thought

"Fee. Nott" I hissed at him.

Mattheo grinned smuly but I could see something in his eyes. At Nahe as if he was enjoying it all here. He leaned a little over the foosball table towards me and allowed a goal, whereupon Enzo and Pansy gave each other a high-five again.

However, he dropped it and said dryly, "Don't worry Potter, you're way too good for me. Even if the thought of ruining your innocence is almost tempting.

Excuse me?

Pansy gasped audibly for air, her eyes widening, while Enzo with a crooked grin quietly whistled to himself, as if he had expected something like that.

Theo, on the other hand, burst into a smug laugh, let go of the foosball table and clapped his hands.

"Holy shit, Mattheo," Theo said with a wide grin, while Pansy gave him a quick, warning look.

My cheeks were red, but this time it wasn't out of embarrassment. My anger boiled up in me like a bubbling potion ready to overwhell any moment.

But instead of freaking out, I clenched my fists before leaning forward a little. The table football game was over, Enzo, Theo and Pans' focused on me and Riddle.

"It's really interesting what fantasies you have of me. Sad because you would never get the chance to be the one who ruins this sweet innocence?" I said in an amazingly calm tone.

"Oh Salazar..." Enzo grumbled as he pulled out his wand, muttered something, and suddenly held popcorn in his hand. Pansy watched as she ate popcorn with Enzo.

"Mhm. Dream on Potter." he grumbled. His voice so calm, but so amused, he leaned even closer, his lips next to my ear. He whispered so that only I could hear it.

"But for someone who is starving, you still have a tempting body. Not that someone would ever look you in the face."

I rolled my eyes, held eye contact for a moment, before a snort escaped me. I straightened up, adjusted my glasses. A grin formed on my lips. I watched him for a moment. Before I could see that his mind was defenseless.

I was one step ahead of Mattheo Riddle.

It confused him, just like the others who held their breath.

"I'm going to play billiards with Draco and Blaise."

His words didn't hurt me a bit, because what Mattheo didn't know was that I had learned the legilimentology myself when I and Harry were still in the first year.

He didn't protect his mind one bit

He underestimated me.

And what he didn't know was that I was now clearly aware that he was lying.

He looked me in the face. Even quite good.

I winked at Pansy, and her shocked gaze deformed into an amused grin.

Babe knew I was ahead of him.

Morning.

The party.

It will be unforgettable.

—————————————

JOO PEOPLE PLEASE IF YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR

Continue reading. !!!!

THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE INTENSE!!!!!!

- Your ShiShi🤭