4. Keya

It’s Monday, and I am drained as hell. Every single step I take from my bed down to the bathroom makes me feel queasy all the time.

It’s been like this for a while now and I bloody hated it!

There’s no time for me to get sick for heaven’s sake. I have a lot of things to do, especially now that I am about to be a full-time English instructor once the semester starts plus my dissertation needs my full attention too.

I’m finishing my proposal fast just so I can get an approval right away, I know that being a full-time instructor means meeting a lot of deadlines, so since I still got a plenty of free time I already started writing it ahead.

I took a deep breath again closing my eyes to stop the light dizziness on my head, Christ! I should never get sick. Think this is what I get for pushing myself too hard these past few months and now I’m paying for it.Just as I was about to enter the bathroom, my phone rings and it’s me mum calling.

“Hey mum!” I greeted still closing my eyes because every time I try to open it, my world feels like I’m on a whirlpool and makes me want to vomit. “Why are you still up? It’s literally one a.m. in there.”

“Oh Mrs. Kingsley, our neighbour. D’you remember her?” My mum started explaining while I try to prepare clothes I will wear on the faculty meeting later. “She invited us for dinner at her house and she happens to throw a massive party.”

“Mum, are you drunk?” I curiously asked because she’s kind of a bit slow enough to talk over the phone.

“No. Just had a little bit of a wine.” She reasoned out. “How are you by the way my love?”

“Feeling a little bit under the weather today, but I’m good.” I said completely lying about it because I feel like I’m going to die in any second for controlling myself from throwing up. “How about you? How have you been treated by my little brother and sister?”

“Oh they’re alright.” She replied. “Kelsey is helping me out in the bakery and your brother Kam worked at a construction to earn money.”“Construction? Is that a joke?” I said in complete shock which was totally a bad reaction because I literally just gagged making me to rush to the toilet and cough hard.

“Are you okay?” My mum asked.

“Yes.” I replied resting my back at the toilet not wanting to stand up. “Are you serious about Kam working at a construction? He doesn’t even want to lift a single plate in the house.”

“Oh trust me Keya, your younger brother only worked in the construction to work on his body instead of going to the gym and to save up some money for school.” She answered which made me roll my eyes because I should see that one coming, my brother is kind of narcissist at times. But I am glad he’s working over the summer though for his education.

“Anyway, I miss you so much Keya. Come home when you finally got a time.”

“I will mum, soon. I can’t promise that I will be home right away, but soon alright?” I said covering my mouth again.

“Alright, call me anytime. You rest.”

“Of course mum. I love you. I’ve got to go. Bye!” I abruptly said and ended the call right away because I already vomited all the food I have eaten last night.

Oh God! I feel so awful.

I heave until there’s nothing but water and my own saliva. Slowly I dragged myself up flashing the toilet and washed my mouth on the sink. Luckily, after I showered I already felt alright. When I went out and started to rummage on my closet for some clothes, someone knocked on my door.

I opened it right away for my friend to come in, I am already expecting Lily to arrive and pick me up today because we are also seeing Professor Larsson today for our dissertation since she is the one who is handling us.

“Wow. I’m surprised you’re not ready yet.” She asked as she closes the door looking at me while changing. “Usually when you have an appointment at nine you’re already ready at seven.”

“I know.” I said removing the bathrobe after wearing my panties. “I’m just feeling kind of a bit under the weather today. I even threw up a while ago right before showering.”

“I see, you look so drained right now.” She commented as she lay herself down on my bed watching me wear my bra. We’ve seen each other naked a lot of times before during sleepovers and such so this is normal. “Hey! You’re boobs got bigger, did you get a boob job that you didn’t tell me?”

I snickered. “No, I didn’t. Where did you get that ridiculous idea from?”

“I’m sorry, just watched a lot of celebrity videos in YouTube about liposuctions and boob jobs. Don’t mind what I said. But seriously though, your boobs got a bigger.”

“Yeah?” I said half-agreeing to her. “It’s funny because my boobs tend to be very sensitive these days too. It’s weird!”

She snickered this time grabbing some textbooks on my nightstand.

“What? Are you pregnant or something?”

“Pregnant?” I echoed chuckling. “That would just be weird.”

“Weird indeed because you don’t have a boyfriend.” She commented and laughed hard obviously just to mock me. “Anyway, did you get in touched with the guy you hooked up with in the bar’s restroom?”

“I absolutely don’t have any plans in getting in touch with that stranger.” I immediately disagree. “Besides, I don’t have his number and I don’t even bloody remember his name!”

Heavens! That was the first time I hooked up with someone I barely know, and the first time I hooked up with someone at a public restroom. Honestly, that was the wildest sex I have had in a while but I don’t have plans on doing it again or even see the guy I hooked up with because it was so embarrassing.

I wasn’t that drunk that night, so I clearly remember the guy’s face and the way he screamed out when he arrived at the orgasmville twice.

“But you remembered his face? We can work with that, you might bump into him one day.”

“Yeah, I remembered his face. He’s really gorgeous!” I said smiling as I am trying to remember that guys face. Those killer green eyes, cute nose, the bloody facial hair. “God! That guy’s tattoos was phenomenal.”

“You really have a huge thing with tattooed guys, don’t you know that?”

“I’m not gonna lie I am.” I replied and proceeded to put some minimal make up on.

Few moments later, Lily and I arrived at the university to attend the faculty meeting and orientations. After the quick lunch meeting with the faculty members Lily and I quickly head straight to Professor Larsson’s office. When I arrived Professor Larsson is already there busying herself on her laptop.

“Hello Prof!” I greeted settling on the seat across to her. I feel so tired and my head is starting to throb in absolute pain this time after I smelled a very strong perfume from someone I bumped in the hallway right before I came in to the office.

“Hey, how was the meeting?” Professor Larsson asked without looking at me. She's a huge babe and she's not the type of professor that makes you feel intimidated all the time. In fact, she hates formalities when she is with us. She wants us to treat her like a friend without thinking that she is our dissertation adviser or something.

“Good. The new school year starts at the third week of August.” I started rubbing my temples. “Oh, by the way they are letting me handle a major subject this semester.”

“Oh what is it?”

“Literary Criticism and Understanding Fiction.”

“Oh that is cool. You love analysing literatures and applied literary theories. That completely suits you well--- hey! Are you okay?” She asked standing up and went to me. “You look so pale!”

“Am I?” I said looking up to her and quite a bit panicking but just as I was about to talk again I already sprinted at her office’s private restroom and vomited, again, for the nth time today.Lily followed me in the restroom right away and hold my hair up for me.

“What just happened?” Professor Larsson asked, I didn’t bothered to look up because it seems like my whole digestive system went upside down causing me to throw up. I gave myself a few seconds right before getting up and washed my mouth on the nearest sink.

“Babe how long have you been like this? You need to see the doctor.” Lily asked while Professor Larsson hands me a box of Kleenex.

“Since last week?” I said tapping some tissue on my whole lips.

“You don’t look okay Keya. Maybe we’ll do this next time. We’ll just reschedule it.”

“No, it’s fine. We’re already here.” I insisted but Lily agreed to Professor Larsson’s idea about rescheduling the dissertation consultation.

“No, you need to rest.” Professor Larsson said. “Just email me your proposal drafts and I will call you for a session this week. Same goes to you Lily, you drive Keya home.”

On the drive home, I already became calmer although the headache is still there.

“You definitely need to see the doctor Keya.” Lily said completely concerned about me.

“No, Lily. Seriously I’m fine. I’ll be fine in a minute.” I explained. “This only happens in the morning anyway and I just happen to smell an awful perfume a while ago and that’s why I puked.”

“Oh my gosh, Keya!” Lily exclaimed.

“Oh my god, what?” I said completely confused about her reaction at the moment.

“Seriously Keya, you don’t know what’s going on with you right now?” She asked with wide eyes.

“What?” I asked still not getting what she’s trying to say. “Wait, where are we going? My apartment street was just there!” I added when I noticed that she took the wrong way.

“We’re going to my place. You need a PT.”

“What on earth is a PT?” I said right before I realized that my friend means Pregnancy Test.

Holy shit balls! There's no way I'm pregnant, am I?

“No. That’s impossible!” I slowly said but at the back of my head I am already freaking out.

“When was the last time you had your period?” Lily started interrogating me.

“Like a month ago?” I replied. “I don’t bloody know! I always have a light period.”

Lily pulled over at her apartment building few moments later and dragged me into her apartment that she shares with her fiancé. When I settled down on their living room’s couch she threw different boxes of pregnancy test kits in front of me.

“You’re not actually serious.” I said staring at my friend.

“If it’s the only thing that gives us a peace of mind then I am serious!” Lily said putting her hands up on his waist.

“Why do you have so many of these?”

“Because Andre and I have been trying. Now stop asking and go pee!” She ordered just like my own mother.

I started to feel fucking nervous as I grab five different boxes of PT’s with me to the bathroom. Bullocks! I think I already know what’s going to be the result for this. Why am I so stupid to realize that the symptoms I have been feeling in the last few weeks was already an indication that I am pregnant?

Peace in the fucking hell!

When I went out of the bathroom, I dropped all the kits in front of Lily.

"I need ten more of these!”

“Positive?”

I only nodded. I heard her sigh.

“Who’s the father?”

“Fuck!” I cursed out loud when I realized who the hell the father of this baby was.

“Holy shit! Don’t tell me it was the guy you hooked up with in the restroom?” Lily asked and I didn’t bothered to answer it. “Oh! Keya, no.”

“How can I tell my mum?” I started crying, because my situation is completely messed up. Everything I have been keeping just went out. “I can’t be pregnant Lily.”

“You don't have to. You can still get an abortion, you know that.” Lily suggested. “Do whatever you need to do Keya.”

This is the only way…

Will I ever feel alright about getting an abortion?

Oh Heavens, I really don’t know what to do anymore.