Chapter 22

Mitsuya

It's been a week since that incident. I can't face y/n so I decided to send my assistants to all the meetings. I want to let go of the project but Machi said that it stated on the contract that I need to fulfill my duties so I don't have any choice but to finish the gown.

A door opens behind me. I look back and Yuzuha is standing in front, just staring at me.

"Hi," I said with a smile but she didn't respond. After a while of staring she closed the door, I didn't move an inch because I know that she'll be back. Moments later the door opens again and there is Yuzuha, standing while hugging a container of salt.

"Get out of here you evil spirit!" She said and was about to throw salt at me.

"Wait!" I said, covering my face with my arms. She didn't throw me anything so I peek at her.

"Why are you here? After you pushed us away?"

"She's back," I said almost in a whisper.

Yuzuha's face suddenly softened. She sits beside me and puts the container of salt on the floor. "What happened? You look like someone shit on your face."

"I was wrong."

"Eh? You don't say." She said sarcastically. "I told you countless of times, y/n will never leave you without any reasons but you didn't listen. You let yourself get eaten by anger. You slowly went to a dark place and became a man whore."

"I-" I closed my mouth because I can't think of anything to say, She's right.

"Yuzuha, I think this time, I hurt her so much that I don't think we can start over again."

"What did you do?"

"I told her words... awful words... words that I can't take back. I also kinda force myself to her, I blackout when I remember that she's engaged... She keeps telling me that it hurts but I didn't stop, instead I told her to bear with it." I paused when I realized what I've done. I brushed my hair with my fingers. "I am awful!"

Yuzuha sigh and suddenly punched me in the face. "Well, I can't blame you entirely. You've been kept in the dark for five fucking years but what the fuck man?! Auntie taught you to respect a woman! you have two sisters!"

I look back at her and wipe the blood from my lips. "I know and I regret everything! If I can just turn back the time." I sigh in frustration. "The guy she's engaged with went to me and explained everything. They are not together, Yuzuha. for five years I thought that they were together, Happy while I'm here, suffering but turns out that she accepted the fixed marriage for me... for my family."

"I knew it! I felt like it's weird when y/n suddenly broke up with you while you were in a happy relationship." Yuzuha rubs her chin. "Now you know the truth. what's your plan?"

"I don't know. I want to talk to her, but I can't face her after what I did. "

"Don't you think it's better to face the situation now? If you still love her isn't it time to make a move? You're an adult now not a high school delinquent. You can do something, you can make things right."

"She's getting married." I felt Yuzuha's hand smack my head. "Ow! What's that for?"

"To wake you up. You're not this coward, Taka-chan. Do something before it's too late."

y/n

"Do you want to change your designer?" Kazu asked me. we're eating chicken in my living room while drinking beer.

"Huh? No, Takashi needs this project." I said in a monotone, I am starting to space out again. I snapped out when I heard his beer bottle slam the coffee table.

"Takashi, Takashi, Takashi! He hurt you for fuck's sake! Why are you still thinking about his welfare? How about you... Huh?"

"Kazu... Why are you mad?"

"I can't stand looking at you like that! Always spacing out, can't talk straight, crying at night!" He cupped my face and pull them closer. "Look at me, y/n... Look at me this time."

"I am looking at you."

"I am not joking!" He let go of my face and brush his long hair with his hands.

"I love you, okay!" He's not shouting but his voice is firm.

"What?"

"Jeez! why do you think I have your picture as my wallpaper?"

"Oh." I nod and chug the bottle of beer that I am holding. There's an awkward silence for a couple of minutes, I was just holding the beer bottle with my two hands.

"Look, I'm not asking for you to love me back, I'm just saying that look at me, turn your energy to me, you can even use me to forget him."

"Kazu! I will not do that to you."

"But if that could help you, if I could see those carefree smiles of yours again, I won't mind."

I look at him and gently tap his shoulders. "I will be fine Kazu. don't worry about me, I've decided to let go of Takashi. It's hard, yes but I'm fine. Besides, how can I be sad for a long time, I have you." I smiled at him. We got interrupted when we heard an aggressive knock on my door.

"Stay here," Kazu said and he stood up from the floor. I also stand to peek from my living room. He opened the door and It's Takashi.

"Can I talk to her?" I heard him say.

Kazu looked at me with a worried expression. I just shake my head and look away.

"She said no."

"y/n! y/n! please, Let me talk to you." I saw him push Kazu but Kazu pushed him harder. "Leave before I call the police." He angrily said.

"No! I will wait outside every day until you talk to me! I need... I need to apologize. The things... the things I've said, I didn't mean any of those." He said, his voice is cracking. I can hear him sob. I want to look at him but I can't. My chest is hurting, I don't want to face him.

He did what he said, He waited outside of my apartment every day. Kazu even called the police but he didn't stop.

It's been two weeks and he still comes to my apartment building, waiting for me to talk to him. He looks like a mess. his eye bags are so dark, his facial hair is grown, his hair is a mess.

A few more days passed. I look at the window and it's raining. I look down and I see him there, sitting at the gutter.

Kazutora

it's been chilly for the past few days here in Tokyo, so I decided to make hot choco for y/n. Mitsuya has been persistent. He really waited outside, every day for her to talk to him. I can see that y/n is trying her best to let go of him but I can also see in her eyes that she still loves him and I can't do anything about that.

"Do you want me to call the police again?" I walk towards her but she didn't notice me.

"y/n?"

"Huh?" She said and looked at me.

"I said, do you want me to call the police again?"

"No, I'll talk to him." She hurriedly walk towards the door but I immediately grabbed her hands. "Don't y/n."

"Kazu." Her facial expression is soft. She looks tired and sad at the same time.

"I'm not a selfish person, you know that. But this time, I don't want you to be with him. I can love you better y/n if you just give me a chance."

"This won't end if I don't talk to him," she said and resisted my grip. She takes the umbrella and runs outside her apartment. I was left there watching her run to her first love. My legs won't move to stop her because I know that no matter what or how hard I try for her to be mine, she's still going to run back to him.

"I think I lost." I chuckled a bitter one, I didn't realize that a tear escape from my eyes.

y/n

"Are you killing yourself?" I said, angrily at him. He looked up and quickly stood up to hug me tight.

"y/n! finally..." He buried his face on the crook of my neck. I didn't hug him back, I just hold the umbrella. "Finally, you came to talk."

"Go home, Takashi. Things between us are over, I am letting you go."

"No, no, no, no," He said and cupped my face with his two hands. His fingers are so cold, digging on my skin. He rests his forehead to mine and closes his eyes "it's not too late for us, y/n. we can start over, run away with me... please. I- I'm sorry! I'm sorry for hurting you, I love you so much! I love you."

I pulled his hands away. "In a month, I will be married. Please don't make things complicated."

"You don't love him!"

"And who are you to say that!" I shouted. "You said that I killed the old you five years ago, You killed me the day you said to my face that there's nothing special between us, that you're just horny and I happened to be there!"

"I- I didn't mean any of those. I know that I can't turn back time but please, give me a chance y/n."

"Takashi," I sigh. "Time changed us. We're not the same innocent high school couple anymore. We are both hurt. We're too hurt that even our love for each other cannot fix it. The wound I caused you is too deep." I hold his cold hands. "For that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you five years ago. I'm sorry that I caused emptiness in your eyes and I am sorry... I can't start over with you anymore."

I hold his hand tightly for a while before I put the handle of my umbrella to his palm. I close his fist so he can hold the umbrella. "This is the last time I'm going to say this. I am going to be clear now that I am marrying Kazutora."

I gave him a gentle smile. "This is goodbye, Takashi." I took a step back from the umbrella. I started to get soak from the rain.

"Loving you, Takashi Mitsuya was the best decision I've ever made. And letting you go is the hardest one. 'Til we meet again."

I turn my back at him and let the rain wash the tears.

"I will wait!" He shouted and I halted. "I will not bother you from this day but know that I will wait for you if you ever change your mind. I will wait for you until your wedding day! And until you're not married. I still have hope. I will wait for you and we will go somewhere. somewhere far from here. We'll live a simple life, you and me together. No one can separate us."

I didn't look back. I just walked away.