Chapter 4

Mitsuya

Akio is playing with Luna while Mana is watching them. My siblings instantly like him because he's lively and funny.

I'm watching them while cleaning the table. To see my siblings laughing and happy makes me smile.

After an hour or two, Akio said his goodbyes to them. They both protest but he promises that he will come back and visit them soon. Eventually, they were convinced and let him go.

"Thank you for bringing food. Luna and Mana are happy with the toys. They instantly like you." I said as we stepped outside the apartment. I walk down the stairs first because It will not fit two people going down. He followed me.

"It's fine. I enjoyed dinner. It's nice to have someone around when eating."

"Are you eating alone in your house? I thought your parents were at home." I look back at him

He paused for a while and felt hesitant to answer.

"They Uhm..." He took a wrong step making him lose balance. I acted based on instinct and caught him. We both fell to the ground. Thankfully it was just second to the last step so it's not that high.

I opened my eyes when I felt something on my lips. My eyes widened and my heart beats fast when I realized our positions.

His lips are on my lips! What the hell?!

Shock as I am, he's frozen! He freezes on top of me. His eyes are wide and he's not even blinking. Is he still breathing?

We stayed in that position for a couple of seconds because we were processing what happened.

When it all sinks in, I push him aside and stand up. He just sat on the ground. He's spacing out.

Shoot! I kissed a guy!

"Oi... It... it was an accident, okay? Don't think about it that much." I said, wait... why am I stuttering?

I look at him and he's not moving from his seat. He looks like a statue.

"Oi." I tried to touch his shoulder but he flinched and immediately stood up.

"I... I have to go!" And zoom! He runs like someone is after him. I just watched him. After a couple of seconds, he came back.

"Wrong way!" He said before he ran past me. He slightly bows and zooms away.

y/n

I stop from running and holds my chest. "What the fuck just happened? I kissed him!" I pause for a while to think.

"Well... It's not that bad. his lips are soft." I pause again. "No! that's not it!" I tap my face repeatedly, thinking about it is making my cheeks burn.

I unconsciously touch my lips.

Several days have passed, Mitsuya and I became close. We meet at the rooftop every lunchtime to discuss the clothes that he will be making and of course, We also talk about random stuff, the stuff I can't probably talk to others about because I need to maintain my perfect image. With him, I can be myself. I can eat without looking around. I can cuss. I can sit whichever way I want. I can do all of those without feeling judged by anyone.

It's nice to have him around. He's like my breath of fresh air.

I still remember the time we accidentally kiss. It makes me flustered but I try my best to shrug it off. It's just a kiss it's not like he put his tongue or anything.

"Hey! Why are you red?"

"Huh? No, I'm not!"

"You're thinking of some perv stuff eh?" He paused and fake gasp "or are you thinking something lewd about me?"

"Shut up! If I ever think of lewd, I will think about some hunk actor or something." I said that made him chuckle.

"Yeah... Yeah..." He then went back to sketching.

I watch him as he sketch. His eyelashes are long, his fingers are long too. I halt. No! Stop thinking like that y/n! I aggressively shake my head then I turn my head to the side and see the box of cookies I brought. I will eat these nsfw thoughts away!

"Here, taste this..." I said while handing him the box of cookies. I am holding one in my other hand. He looks up from sketching and leans forward. He's so close I freeze on the spot. He grins and takes a bite from the cookie I'm holding. fudge! He's only an inch away! He then went back to sketching.

"Hey! That's... That's illegal! I handed you the box you bit mine!"

"My hands will have crumbs when I get one... You said to taste it so..."

"You sly mother-"

He looks at me again with a mischievous grin "what? Did I fluster the goddess?"

"Too cocky, eh?" I pause and collect myself. Not gonna lie, those moves made my heart skip a beat.

He just chuckled.

There's a silence for a while. I just continue eating. After a minute or so, Mitsuya puts down his pencil and looks at me.

"I know this will make me look like that I'm nosy or something but we're friends, right? and I'm curious... Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, shoot!" I said, tilting my head to the side.

"Why are you scared about tainting your reputation? Why are you so desperate to be a perfect student? Don't get me wrong. It's not bad but when you're pretending. You're all smiles but your eyes are sad. when we're here, your smiles felt more genuine."

I froze from his question that I couldn't answer fast. He just gave me a gentle smile like he gets that I am not comfortable talking about it.

"It's fine if you don't want to answer now. We can talk about it someday when you're comfortable." He picks up his pencil and starts to sketch again.

A couple of seconds passed and I spoke.

"I am a product of cheating," I said, which made him stop sketching. He looks at me.

I smiled bitterly. "Mom had an affair with a married man. Mom died three years ago. Dad thought it was the best idea to dispose of me so he decided to dump me here in Tokyo. He gave me my own apartment showered me with money and material stuff but didn't give me love. I was in fifth grade back then, I got an A on my exam and he praised me. I felt happiness, then I thought. If I can be the perfect daughter he wants me to be, maybe, just maybe. He can give me a tiny bit of affection. The end."

He looks at me with that sad expression.

"Don't give me that pity look." I chuckled. "I am fine. I don't need pity from others and besides having lots of money is-"

I didn't finish my sentence when he suddenly hugged me. He taps my back. "It's alright, y/n. I told you. You don't have to pretend in front of me." He said.

Those words. Those words felt like an assurance that it's okay to not be okay. Suddenly my tears fall like waterfalls. Yes, I cry. I ugly cry! I don't care on how I look anymore. I just wanted to cry it all out.

I never thought that these feelings were this heavy not until he told me that it was alright.

I didn't cry at my mother's funeral, I didn't cry when my father told me to move out, and I never cried when my brothers treated me like shit.

But with his words, I cried.

His hugs are warm, I feel at ease.

Why does when I'm with him I feel that I'm accepted for who I am?