Chapter 3

At the sound of her alarm, Bianca woke up bright and early the next morning, dragging herself out of bed despite the jet lag that made her extremely sluggish. Like every morning, she goes through the motions of brushing her teeth, doing a light skin care routine, popping in her contacts, and throwing on some workout clothes—joggers, an oversized tshirt, and sneakers. She slipped on a headband and bundled her small boho box braids into a knot on top of her head and grabs her room key, AirPods, arm band, and phone on the way out the door to the gym.

There were hardly any people milling about, which she expected as it was 6:30 am right now; and she was grateful that the gym was empty once she arrived. She slips her AirPods in and goes to her workout playlist, J Cole's No Role Modelz playing in her ears. On the floor by the treadmills, she plops down to stretch, placing all her items in her arm band, pulling it up, and securing it. She bobs her head to the music as she stretches her whole body. Her thoughts are blank for once, nothing but the music flowing through her ears. A body racking yawn escapes her form, but she gets up and gets on one of the treadmills anyways, starting with a slow power walk.

Before long, she was in a full on sprint, the incline of the treadmill making her calves burn with every step. She registered the occasional person in her peripheral but paid them no mind, focusing on her workout instead. Her lungs burn and sweat drips down her form as she pushes herself to continue.

The ringing of her phone in her AirPods startles her, almost making her lose her footing, but she stops just in time, standing on the non moving sides of the machine as she turns of off and answers her phone with a huff:

"Yes?" She asks as she grabs a complimentary towel to wipe her face and neck with.

"Well damn, what you doing? You sound out of breath," Kevin says, sounding chipper.

"I was on the treadmill when you called. It was about time for me to get off anyways. What's up?" she asks, taking a seat on the mat next to the treadmill.

"I was calling to see what you were in the mood for for breakfast," he says, slightly muffled as he moves around.

"Somewhere with healthy options, preferably smoothies or açaí bowls," she says and he huffs.

"Ew, healthy," he says with a grimace she could imagine through the phone.

"We can't all eat what we want and remain fit like you...motherfucker," she says grumpily as she lays on her stomach.

"Yeah yeah, don't hate me cus you ain't me. I know a place. Be ready in an hour. I'm starving," he says before bidding her a hasty goodbye, Jungmin calling on the other line.

She allows herself 30 more minutes of exercise—planks, legs lifts, and weighted lunges—before making her way back upstairs to her room to shower and get dressed for the day. Long sleeved oversized shirt, camo cargo pants, and Nike dunks was the look for today, her butt length braids worn parted down the middle. She hadn't always dressed this way but after the drastic change in body type, she found that street wear was what she was most comfortable in nowadays. She could still be fashionable while hiding her flaws.

She and Kevin meet in the lobby and walk the three blocks to their destination, him pointing out things to her on the way. It was a nice day in Seoul, not too cold and not too hot; and there were a lot of interesting things here she didn't see at home. Although she'd been warned about the staring, it was still a little unnerving being gawked at like she was—older people especially shameless and women holding their partners tighter as they passed as if she would snatch them away. Kev was all but used to it, not missing a beat as he chattered on about random things along the way.

It was comical how people didn't know where to look between them. Kev is every bit of 6 feet and 4 inches, towering over most people they passed. She didn't consider herself short per say at her height of 5 feet and 10 inches but of course at his height, he towered over her as well.

The restaurant he led them to had a pretty, green aesthetic—live plants everywhere and green lighting above the front counter. She ordered a green smoothie and an egg white omelette while Kev went with a heartier option, some sort of breakfast sandwich stacked high with toppings paired with his fave, orange juice.

"Jungmin loves this place. He's a health nut too," he says once they pick a nice table by the window.

"I could tell, he's pretty muscular," Bianca says, resting her head on her hand.

"Headache? We can move is the sunlight is too much" Kev says, concerned, and she shakes her head.

"Not today thankfully. They've been easing off a lot lately. The estrogen blockers were making the migraines worse so my doctor took me off of them. As long as I eat right, exercise, and stress less, my body should return back to normal over time—which reminds me to find another gynecologist asap. I'm not very trusting of medical advice right now," she says, pulling out her phone and making a note and reminder.

"That's understandable. I wouldn't either. That fucking bitch. When is her trial again?" he asks, making her chuckle.

Kev cousin was never one to disrespect women, or anyone else for that matter but once you wronged him or someone he loves, all that went out the window.

"It was supposed to be a month before Rome's but she attempted suicide too. I wonder if they planned that too," she wonders aloud.

"Probably and I'm glad neither one succeeded. They put you through hell. It's only fair that they go through it too. Revive that ass every time," he say, making her laugh even though he was dead serious.

"She's suicidal because her life is over when she gets out. She's facing up to 10 years, the hospital is fining her for malpractice under their name, and I'm suing her for negligence and emotional distress. Just like Rome, she'll never be able to practice medicine again. Crazy how the decision to fuck me over, fucked their lives up tenfold isn't it?"

"You know what they say, karma's a bitch. You're a good person B, better than most people deserve and something like this shouldn't have ever happened to you, especially by Rome—but you know I'm a strong believer in fate. There are bigger, better things in store for you. Mark my words. Plus, I'm keeping you here with me forever where I can protect you," he says, making her smile.

"Well then I'd better start job searching because my visa says otherwise," she says, making him chuckle.

"I know a few job search engines we can check when we get to the house, and I have Jungmin asking around. He has connections," Kev says smugly as their waitress sat their food and drinks in front of them, asking if they needed anything else before shuffling away to tend her other tables.

"Okay Jungmin with the connections," she says, making Kev laugh.

"So what do you want to do before we settle in and job search? Shopping? You love to shop," he says, making her deadpan him.

"What?" he asks, clueless.

"You know I can't fit anything they sell here," she says and he rolls his eyes.

"And you think I can? I know a few spots, not to mention the boutique my mom works at is marketed towards foreigners so there's normal sizing. She really wants to see you anyways," he says and she nods absentmindedly, already a little anxious at the idea of trying on clothes.

"Uh oh, what's wrong?" Kev asks, noticing she was pushing her food around with her chopsticks, disengaged from the conversation.

"It's nothing, just thinking," she assures with a smile that may have convinced anyone other than him.

"It's not nothing. Look, if it's the sizing thing, plenty of foreigners go through it. I went through it and you know how confident I am. South Koreans are just naturally smaller that Americans," he assures and she nods.

"It's not just that is it?" he asks once he realizes that doesn't improve her demeanor.

"It's just...since I've gained weight, I'm not comfortable shopping anymore. Nothing fits like it used to and it just puts a damper on my mood," she confesses.

"So that's why you wear so many oversized clothes lately. I thought you were just experimenting with streetwear. Look B, your body changed but that doesn't make it any less beautiful," he says.

"Of course you're going to tell me that," she says dismissively.

"Girl, you've been petite all your life complaining about having no hips, ass, curves. You have all that now and you're still complaining?" he asks incredulously, making her sigh.

"Maybe that's the way you see it but all I see is fupa and cellulite," she says, making him scoff.

"Girl a lil stomach ain't never stopped nun. There's nothing wrong with you. You just have to stop trying to wear what you used to and find what flatters your new figure. Let's go, you're not eating anyways," he says as he polishes off the last of his sandwich and signals for the waitress.

She asks for a to-go cup and takes her smoothie with her as they head back towards the hotel and his apartment.

"We could've caught a taxi but them motherfucker be tryna play foreigners on the rates and I ain't got time to argue with no ajussi today," he explains as they enter his parking garage.

"Jungmin must've taken my car. I hope there's gas in his or we have to stop on the way," he says, rolling his eyes as he hit the unlock button for an olive green jeep.

They climb inside and as soon as he cranks it up, the speakers start blasting a loud rap song with a gunshot at the beginning, making Kev hit his head on the ceiling. Although it scared her too, she laughs as he rubs his head and curses loudly as he reaches out to turn it down.

"Jungmin and this loud ass goddamned radio!" he grumps as he gathers his wits.

"Aye but this beat slapping tho. I see why he had it up loud," she giggles, turning it back up a little as he backs out.

"Oh yeah, this is one of our favorite BTS songs, but I listen to it at a normal volume, not loud enough to break my damned eardrums. Plus, the gunshots give me flashbacks," he says, making her burst out laughing.

"You know you ain't never lived nowhere where you heard no gunshots, fireworks maybe," she exclaims.

"Well I couldn't tell the difference," he scoffs, making her laugh harder.

They were both suburb babies to the core living in gated neighborhoods all their lives. She couldn't even recall too many breakins happening in their neighborhoods, let alone gunshots.

They stop to get gas and she marvels at all the snacks and drinks available, picking up a few. Though she was dieting, she wasn't so extreme that she didn't allow herself snacks and treats. She just tried not to overindulge and make sure she'd workout the next day.

"I think I've heard this somewhere before," she says once they're back on the road, another song by BTS playing. She reads the screen and it says Boy with Luv ft Halsey.

"Probably everywhere. They're really popular in the US. You've probably heard Butter and Dynamite too. They got Meg thee Stallion on the Butter remix," he replies.

"Hmm, I think I have then. Her label was trippin about letting her do it weren't they?" she asks and he nods, using the voice control in the car to play the song.

"Yeah I heard this! It was playing in the background at her house one day," she says, making him look over at her, surprised.

"You worked with Megan thee fucking Stallion and didn't say nun?" he asks, his brows furrowed.

"Surely I told you, I know there's pics on Insta somewhere," she says and he scoffs.

"No the fuck you did not," he says, his tone almost disgusted.

"Damn, my bad. I thought I did and you usually stalk my IG so..." she trails off with a shrug.

"You are a piece of work," he says, making her laugh.

They listen to more BTS songs on the way and she finds herself really liking them.

"I think that may have been my favorite one," she says as they enter a parking garage.

"Filter? Sexy right? Jimin is my bias for a reason. I have to show you the live performance later. He's even more beautiful in person," he says, fanning himself.

"You've been to a concert?" She asks and he shakes his head.

"They sell out too fucking fast, but I have photographed them. Jungmin is one of their go-to's and he recommended me to replace him once when he was sick. They're all fucking gorgeous and the most down to earth people I've worked with in the music industry," he says as they get out of the car.

"That was nice of him. How many are there?" she asks.

"Seven members," he replies as they wait for the elevator.

"Is that why the album is called Map of the Soul 7?" She asks and he nods.

"And because it had been 7 years since they debuted," he informs and she nods.

"You have to listen to the whole album before you declare your favorite though. I think you'd like JK's solo the best, My Time. It's R&B," he says, and she found herself looking forward to it.

They step inside a pretty boutique, the layout a mix of modern and vintage; and they immediately spot his mom, Woojin.

"Eomma, look at who I brought," he says, holding Bianca by her shoulders as his mother rushed over to greet them.

"My baby! You look so good, much better than before," she exclaims, referring to the last they saw each other at Thanksgiving dinner when she wasn't in the best frame of mind.

"Tell her again Eomma," Kev says, making her pull back to look at Bianca's face.

"Did somebody tell you you don't? If they did, they're idiots who can't think for themselves. Gahdamn fools don't even know how to trust their own eyes, think with their own minds if they can't recognize such beauty in front of them," she rants passionately, making Bianca giggle.

Her bonus aunt's bluntness and intense delivery was something she's always appreciated.

"Thank you Auntie Woo. You look good too," she grins.

"I know I do baby thank you. I heard that no good husband of yours got 5 years. He deserves more time. He was a little boy with a broken chilli pepper. We'll find you a good healthy stud of a man that'll have you popping out babies left and ri—

"Okay Eomma," Kev cuts in after clearing his throat, ignoring the daggers she was throwing with her eyes for interrupting her.

"We came here for clothes. B is supposed to be keeping her stress levels down so I figured some retail therapy would be good for her," he says, blinking his eyes rapidly so his mother would get the gist and stop rambling.

"Oh of course, right this way baby. Pick what you like and I give you a discount," she says, smiling sweetly.

There was no streetwear in sight so she had no choice but to find "regular" clothing items to try, grateful that they were at least in her size. She picked a lot of black, partly because she loves it and partly because she wants to look slimmer.

Meanwhile, Kev, after peeping the size she was, was using his photographer's eye and picking things for her as well—things that were similar to her previous style but would flatter her current size more. He wanted to show her that she didn't have to drastically change it to look good, nor wear oversized items all the time.

"Just show me the outfits you're confident in," he'd convinced her once she made it into the dressing rooms.

She felt discouraged as she tried on option after option, not fully confident in anything until he'd passed her his options over the door.

"Okay this is cute," she says, checking out the burnt orange wrap dress he'd picked.

"Let me see then," he huffs impatiently and she opens the door.

He backs up dramatically, his hand on his chest as he gasps loudly.

"Kev," she whines, rolling her eyes.

"What girl? You just took my breath away. That is stunning on you," he compliments.

"That is really pretty. Did they have another?" a woman asks as she passes, a few items in her hands.

"Yup, all sizes," he quips, pointing her in that direction.

"See, another sista agreed so you know I'm not cappin'. Now go try on my other options," he says, shooing her back inside.

"This one is a little risqué," she says as she comes out in the next outfit—a black corset top with boning and mesh sidings with a pair of ruched leather pants with slits at the ankles.

"You sound like grandma. What's risqué? The mesh?" he asks, gesturing towards the outfit.

"The cleavage," she says, gesturing to her chest.

"It's tasteful to me and it looks really good. The boobies are boobying. I don't see the problem," he says, making her shake her head as she headed back inside the dressing room.

The next outfit was an off shoulder, ruched caramel brown top with flowy sleeves paired with some high waisted flare jeans that has a rip in one knee. This was never something she would have chosen for herself and it was the best she'd looked in months. For the first time in a long time, she didn't hate a single thing she saw when she looked in the mirror. Her eyes were teary when she came out in this outfit and Kev immediately perked up with concern.

"What's wrong B? This is beautiful on you," he says, grabbing her hand and spinning her in front of the mirror.

"I know, it's just been a long time since I've felt this way about clothes," she says, fanning her eyes.

"Oh honey," Kev replies, his own eyes getting teary as he hugged her and she cried it out in his arms.

"You okay?" he asks when she's reduced to sniffles, pulling back to look down at her face.

"Yeah, thanks for the shoulder. I really needed that," she smiles, wiping her eyes.

"Oh baby this shoulder wasn't free. You gotta buy me another shirt," he says, making her laugh.

"Fuck you and that shirt," she quips as she heads back into the dressing room.

He smiles as he sits back down to wait and see what she'd try on next. Bianca was making a breakthrough. She'd picked up a piece of what had been broken today and he couldn't wait until she'd find the rest.