For The Best?

Scott pulled away and gave me a smile. But that soon faded a little. "If you're not the alpha we're looking for...then who? 

"I don't know..and we need to find out soon because if this keeps happening, then there's no telling what'll happen.."

"Wait, why can't we tell Stiles? I mean, he can help." Scott tried arguing while I quickly shook my head, standing up and walking over to him.

"It's too dangerous for Stiles to know. If he finds out, he'll hate me forever..He said he was glad that I was still normal, that he's glad i'm the only normal thing in his life right now..If he finds out..it'll hurt him so much more than not knowing.."

"But you care about him..why not tell him..? He can help and you guys can be together"

"Because me and Stiles..we can't be together.."

Scott looked at me confused before asking why.

"You don't get it do you? Being with Stiles would put him in danger..i mean as soon as someone finds about me, whether it be the Alpha or someone else than they'll use Stiles to try and get to me or you..Being with him makes me..reckless. I-I can't protect him the way I want and if we're together I won't be able to keep him safe..My feelings for him cloud my judgement, they make me weak and reckless and I need to focus everything I have on keeping him safe. Cause if I don't..if we were together and I was caught off guard, if I didn't see a threat coming because i was so distracted by my feelings for him..he'd die. I cant let that happen.."

"Stiles means more to me than anything; I care about his feelings more than mine..All I want more in this entire world, more than avenging my parents even..is for Stiles to be happy, all I want is for him to be happy. And if I want that for him, I can't be with him because he could never be happy with me the way he deserves." 

"You don't know that. Stiles and you can be so happy tog..-" Scott tried telling me but i quickly cut him off. 

"..-you don't get it, Scott! I know he can't be happy with me because how on earth could I make him happy if..-if I can't even make myself happy..My entire life for the past nine or ten years has been ruled by the pain of being a werewolf, it's been ruled by the pain of my parents deaths..I can't be happy until I finish what I started..and I can't make anyone happy." I snapped, looking at Scott with wide eyes. I felt a pain in my chest as I felt a tear escape my eye. I quickly wiped it away before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry for yelling but..it's true. As weird as it sounds if I want him to be happy then I can't be with him, I have to let him go to give him his best chance.." 

"Why?" Scott asked curious.

"because if you care about someone, you put their well being before your own, you put their feelings above your own..all I want more than anything in the world is for Stiles to be safe, to be happy and the only way that can happen is if we're not together...." I sighed while running a hand through my hair. 

 "That makes no sense, if you care about him like i know you do then you'll find some way to be with him..Walking away doesn't help at all.." Scott told me while I sighed. 

"Sometimes walking away is the right thing to do...If walking away, keeping my distance and letting him find happiness with someone else..it's a small price that I would gladly pay a thousand times over. If i want him to be happy, I have to give him his best chance and the sad fact of the matter is..his best chance is not with me. Scott, all I want is for him to be happy and have his best chance..it's like with you and Allison."

"sometimes people like you and I can't be with the person who makes us feel human..Sometimes being a werewolf isn't only about being a slave to the moon, sometimes it's about being a slave to your heart. We feel things more strongly than any human can possibly feel, which means sometimes we let out emotions cloud our judgement..Believe me when I say that sometimes it can be real difficult to stay than walk away. If I had walked away, maybe most of the people I lost would still be here.." I sighed sadly, looking over at Scott. 

Scott didn't say anything, he just stood quiet. I think it was finally registering in his mind that if I was to be with Stiles then it would hurt him.

"You really love him don't you..?" Scott asked me quietly while I shrugged my shoulders.

"I dont know what love is, I thought i had an idea about it but that turned to crap as you've just found out..I spent the better part of my life being a slave to the moon, learning to control my emotions and distancing myself from people in general.." I sighed, closing my eyes as I felt tears form in them. "..I always said that emotions cloud judgement, that emotions make you weak but after coming here and meeting Stiles and you..I don't know if I can believe that anymore. I don't know if i'm in love with Stiles or how this whole love thing even works but I do know that...Stiles is the most important person to me..and if he died..i don't know how i would ever go on..i've lost so many people and to loose him too would would be the end of my world..."

I looked down at the ground, feeling my eyes get a little bit watery but i wasnt about to break down crying to Scott right now. I needed to be strong.. 

"What are you scared of..?" Scott asked me quietly, bringing me back from my thoughts.

"That i wont be able to protect him...If Stiles dies..i don't know what i'll do.." I whispered while Scott didn't say anything at first. "I know it makes no sense to not be with him because I said that i really care about him, and i do..he makes me so happy which is a new thing for me...but..I can't be with him until i settle my own disputes..I can't and i wont drag him down with me. It will never make sense until you have to put someone you care about's feelings above your own..and I pray to god you never have to feel the pain of having to let go of the person who means the world to you, Scott.." 

"I'm sorry.." Scott started saying. "I just..I wish there was something that I could do to help.."

"There's not..." I said while looking at the ground but then I rose my head and looked over at him again. "There might actually be one thing..."

He looked at me confused before I started explaining to him what my plan was.

*

Stiles Point of view:

I slowly pulled up in front of Savannah's house, getting ready to unbuckle my seatbelt and go up to her door but by the time I looked back up, she was already running towards my jeep. 

I couldn't help but smile a little at how beautiful she looked. 

 Once she opened the passanger's door, she climbed in and set her bag down on the floor near her feet. I expected her to do something like i dont know maybe kiss me? Or at least say something but i didn't even get so much as a glance. 

This was completely weird. 

Yesterday she was practically ready to rip off my clothes and im pretty sure do more than that just a couple of hours ago, what happened? Now Savannah's acting like a stranger..? Or like we didn't make out yesterday. 

What's wrong..? 

"Good morning.." I said quietly while offering her a warm smile but she didn't even look at me. "You look beautiful today..not that you don't everyday.." 

She still didn't answer but at least she cracked a little smile. Instead of pestering her, i decided to just drop it for now. I restarted the car and drove off towards school. 

The whole ride there, Savannah looked like she had something troubling on her mind but everytime I tried to talk to her, she shot me down. This was too weird. Yesterday we seemed like we were going somewhere but now... 

nothing? 

I tried multiple times to try and talk to her but she didn't answer, all she did was look out the window. I sighed before pulling over, putting the jeep in park. She looked over at me finally, with a look of confusion plastered all across her face.

"Okay it's killing me.." I began saying. 

"What is?" She finally said something. 

"The anticipation..I mean..yesterday i told you i liked you and you said you felt the same..we kissed, i mean we made out.." I tugged on the end of my sweater. "But now you're acting like nothing happened..." 

She looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes, a sad look in them. 

"I just want to know what i did wrong.." I whispered to her while she bit her bottom lip and ran a hand through her hair. 

She let out a sigh before looking over at me with this sad look on her face. Oh boy, this was not going to be good. "You didn't do anything wrong Stiles.." She began saying before biting down on her bottom lip. "You're wonderful.." 

I couldn't help but let out a short of breath before smiling over at her. "I think you're pretty wonderful too..and amazing, and kind, and beautiful and smart and funny..I think we'd be good together.." I smiled at her.

"No.." She said suddenly.

I looked at her confused before asking her, "Why not..?"

"Because i'll break your heart.." She whispered.

I thought she was joking so I laughed a little. "Not unless i break yours first?" I laughed while she looked over at me with a serious expression.

"nobody breaks my heart, not anymore.."

I looked at her confused before asking her, "Wait are you being serious...? Did i do something wrong..?"

She shook her head while forcing a smile on her face. "No..you didn't..you are wonderful..amazing..you're so so good..and any girl would be lucky to be with you.." 

I couldn't help but smile at her but before i could say something, she stopped me. 

"But.." 

Anddddd there went my smile. 

"We..what happened last night..it can't happen again..." She said while looking down at her hands. "We need to just stay friends..nothing more.." 

 "Wh..why?" I asked her, stuttering a bit because i was trying not to sound so disappointed and hurt but that wasn't working. Anyone would be able to tell that i was completely torn up as soon as she said that. 

"it's too hard to explain.." She said while avoiding eye contact.

"Did I do something wrong..? If i did, im sorry just please don't do this..don't shut me out..I know that last night wasn't nothing." 

"you dont understand.." She groaned. "It's not you, it's m-" She tried explaining while i let out a small laugh. Was she really going to try that..? Was she really going to say 'it's not you, it's me' Was she really going to try and give me that excuse?

 "You've got to be kidding me...You're not really trying to say that last night was a mistake are you..?" 

I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest right now. I didn't understand what was happening. Last night Savannah and I shared a moment, i know we did. I know that I wasn't the only one who felt it right..right? 

"I'm sorry Stiles but it was..." She whispered while tears formed in her eyes. 

I looked at her in disbelief. This wasn't happening, there's no way this was real.. Last night was... last night meant something. 

"Last night couldn't of only meant something to me..it meant something to you too..." I asked her quietly while she didn't say anything. She stayed quiet as she closed her eyes and slightly shook her head, completely breaking my heart. 

"no..it didn't.." She said while closing her eyes. 

I bit my bottom lip before unbuckling my seat belt so i could turn towards her better. She still had her eyes as closed, refusing to look at me. "you can't look me in the eyes and tell me that last night didn't mean anything to you..Look me in the eyes and tell me that it meant something..." I begged her.

Savannah didnt say anything at first but instead she looked over into my eyes, just staring at them while I stared back at hers. For a split second I could've sworn she was leaning in so I started leaning in to, only to have my heart broken all over again... "Im sorry but it didn't mean anything Stiles..." I pulled back while looking at her in disbelief. Why was she acting like this..? What was happening..? Please tell me this was some kind of joke... 

 I backed away from her slowly, feeling like i was loosing oxygen. 

"this is for the best.." She whispered.

For the best? How could this possibly be for the best if we weren't together? I mean, this can't be for the best. Last night meant something, why Savannah was trying to deny it now beats the hell out of me. All I know is that..

Right now..

I felt like i was dying.. I hadn't felt this much pain since... 

"Look im sorry the last thing i want to do is hurt you.." She whispered. 

"Then dont...don't try and act like it didnt mean anything.." I tried talking to her but she wasn't having it. 

"it didn't Stiles, now please..please dont make this any harder.." Savannah said while I noticed a tear escape her eyes and roll down her cheek but she quickly whipped it away.

She reached over for the door handle, opening it before looking over at me. I should've said something more, i should've reached over for her, i should've tried and talked to her more but I felt like I was frozen in place. Savannah bit her bottom lip before leaning over and grabbing my face in her hands, placing a small yet meaningful kiss on my lips. 

There was this lingering feeling as she backed away slightly. 

I opened my eyes slowly while she bit her bottom lip and grabbed her bag, jumping out of the car and walking the rest of the way to the parking lot. I didn't know what to do except sit there, wondering what the hell just happened.

She said last night didnt mean anything and it was a mistake but yet she kissed me..? And I felt the rollercoaster kind of rush once again, this couldn't be nothing. This meant something... 

unless im just reading too much into this.. 

I just..I just thought that maybe... Savannah was different... We got along so well but i guess this shows you that once you get put in the friendzone, you can never leave. . . . . . 

Savannah's Point of View:

"Are you sure this is for the best..?" Scott asked me while I met up with him behind the school building. I bit my bottom lip while I ran my hands through my hair, pulling at it in frustration. I let out a huge sigh before pulling myself together.

"It is.." I said before looking over at him. "You need to stick to the plan..if Stiles believes that..that last night was nothing then..then he can move on..he can be happy..and he wont get dragged into the crossfire..he cant be used for leverage against me..he'll be safer if we're apart.." 

"I don't believe that for one second." Scott said. "If you really care about him, you'll find a way to be with him where you can keep him safe...You might not know what love is but I see the way you two look at each other..It's the same way that i look at Allison.." 

I didn't say anything, I wasn't even sure what to say. Maybe Scott was right..? 

I shook my head before zipping up my jacket a bit more. 

"No.." I said simply. "It's better this way..I can't hurt him if we're apart..Until i figure out someway where..where us being together without him getting hurt works..we can't be together..For now..we can't be..Maybe someday but right now..I cant risk him getting hurt until I figure out my own problems.." 

"Are you sure..?" 

"Scott, I'm messed up. I have so much baggage and right now..I can't be with Stiles knowing that there's still someone out there that's trying to kill me or something...I haven't forgotten that someone turned me into a werewolf and slaughtered my family. People just dont do that sort of thing for fun, psyco or not..So until I find whoever did this, and end them..I can't be with Stiles..If he gets hurt because of me...I'll never forgive myself.." 

Scott didn't say anything more, he just gave his last minute advice on love before hugging me and telling me he was going to go talk to Stiles. I pointed to my ear, telling him I would be listening while I watched him walk off towards Stiles. 

*

I watched as Scott approached Stiles who looked like his dog just got hit by a car. I flinched at the sight of him in pain but it was better. Until I can find the people who are responsible for killing my parents, we can't be together. 

what happens if i did find out who killed my parents? What if I couldn't kill them right then and there then they took Stiles to use as leverage? What if he got hurt because of my crazy ploy to avenge my parents..? I wouldn't be able to live with myself so until I can find some way to etiher find my parents killers and get some answers or find some way to get over and let this go, Stiles and I cant be together... 

As much as I wanted to be with him... 

I couldn't.. 

"Hey dude i just wanted to apologize for last night..I was an ass..it was the full moon and im so sorry.." I heard Scott say while I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and tried to listen in better. 

"It's okay.." Stiles sounded completely heartbroken.. Maybe we can...- 

No, stop it Savannah. This is for the best. 

"hey dude you sound upset..is something wrong..?" Scott asked Stiles.

Yes, stick to the script Scott. 

"Umm..no it's fine.." 

"come on man, we're best friends. You can tell me anything.." Scott insisted while Stiles sighed. 

"I told Savannah how I feel..and we kind of made out.." 

"Really? That's great..Why aren't you smiling then..?" 

"Because..this morning or should i say a couple of minutes ago..she told me it was a mistake..and basically broke my heart.." 

"look man im sorry but..if Savannah..if she doesn't want to be with anyone right now..maybe you should give it time..I mean she wouldn't want you to be unhappy.." 

"How would you know..? Have you talked to her? 

Crap on a stick. Stick to the script Scott. Don't mess up. Dont mess up- 

"Yeah..she told me about what happened." 

crap-ola 

"She said she really cares about you but she just has stuff going on..believe me..she cares about you too..she just needs time to figure out personal problems..but everything will be all right man...besides i've seen the way she looks at you..and the way you look at her..And i'm telling you that it's going to be okay." 

Dammit dammit dammit.. 

"you're right..We'll just be friends for now until she's ready..I mean i've waited for months to get a chance to tell her how i feel, i can wait a little longer." 

"That's the spirit man." 

Job well done Scott. 

I flipped my hair a little before entering the school building and going off towards first period. 

 After first period, I went over to see Scott by his locker, taking books out. 

 "You didn't stick to the script." I said while Scott jumped and dropped his books. 

"Crap." He breathed out before bending over and picking up his book. "Savannah you scared the crap out of me." 

"You didnt stick to the script." I repeated. 

Scott sighed before closing his locker and looking at me. "I know but...I couldn't see Stiles hurt..I said what i thought would help..im sorry.." 

"No, don't apologize.." I smiled lightly at him. "What you said is completely true and..i can sleep a little better knowing that Stiles isn't going to be completely unhappy..." 

Scott nodded his head while trying to convince me that I could still be with Stiles and search for answers but i reminded him that it was too dangerous and when the time came, I would tell Stiles how I felt.. 

just not yet... 

Author's note: 

omg omg i teared up while writing this chapter D: 

Eek the Stavannah feels are real yall. Anyways there will be a couple of sad moments coming up in the next couple of chapters so be sure to have tissues nearby! D: 

and thanks for all the reads. thanks to anyone who's read Skinny Love so far (: You're all awesome!(: