Chapter 66

DIGGY'S P.O.V.

*at his apartment almost a week later*

Thinking... that's all I did. I thought a lot for the past few days. I couldn't remember what day it was. I had to think over everything that had happened in the past 24 hours.. the last week.. the last couple months and how I even got here. Before, I was Diggy Simmons. Player. Father-of-two. Refused to be tied down to any female. I had my own and needed nobody.

Now, I was Daniel Simmons, father-of-three and caught up with a woman who wanted nothing to do with me, but deeply cared and gave me an ultimatum; no sex for months and I finally had her. Or cheat the deal and lose something I never thought I wanted again. What I craved deeply, made my heart race faster than Lewis Hamilton in the Grand Prix and my eyes wider than a kid in a candy store. 

I thought about how she said she didn't need me, how she kept Kelani hidden for years, her constant desperation to avoid me at work. And notably how it all changed slowly and comfortably. Turned into infatuation, calling each other 'babe' and joking around, tickling, days out, lunches at work, finishing sentences and sharing french fries at restaurants. And then that... the club. Spin told me no more drinks for her, he warned me, but I wanted her to kiss me. I wanted her to be the drunk kiss, the subconscious desire. Not that guy. Whoever he was.

YOUR P.O.V.

Spin- *hands you a glass of water*

Y/N- *downs it all* *slams it down on the table* I'm gone

Spin- *widens his eyes* Woah

Y/N- *wipes her lips* Sorry.. *stands up*

Spin- *blocks your way* You're not going anywhere

Y/N- I have to see him, Spin.

Spin- He doesn't wanna see you, Y/N. I've had to keep you both apart.

Y/N- *blinks* You spoke to him?

Spin- Of course, yesterday.. he's worse than a few days ago. He didn't sound like himself.

Y/N- He needs me, that's why. He needs to get back on his feet! I did this ti him..

Spin- *pulls your arm* Before you leave right now, think. Really think about it

Y/N- What do you think I've been doing for the whole week, Spin? When I go to sleep, he was on my mind, when I wake up, it's him. When I eat, drink and get dressed.. I don't ever get drunk. Tipsy, yes, but I don't do drunk out of my mind like that. I don't know who I was back there, but I hurt him real bad.. I know it

Spin- *lets go of you and kisses your cheek* Go on then.

Y/N- *grabs her keys* *leaves the house*

*half an hour later*

I pulled up to Daniel's apartment block.. his car was swerved sideways into the underground parking area, tyre marks left behind and the whole vehicle of the Ferrari covering two bays. I grabbed my purse, parked and got out. I buzzed for his door, he didn't even pick up the phone to answer, he just let me in. I was surprised. Didn't he care? In the elevator up, I was thinking "What the hell was I gonna do? Say? How would he react?"

He opened the door when I got there, stopping me frantically playing with my fingers and muttering words of reassurance to myself.. but the Daniel I looked at.. that wasn't him. He didn't wear sweatpants, least of all ones covered in numerous food stains. He was religiously hygienic. It'd only been almost a week, but his hair wasn't brushed, his hairline fading along with his emotions. His eyes glowed a brutal red. I smelt the alcohol and weed off him and it was strong.. Daniel didn't smoke. He just opened the door, took one glare at me and walked back to his couch, throwing himself down lifelessly and staring at the tv. 

I followed him in... His once bright and luminous apartment was blacked out from the blinds he'd closed, the tv reflected heavily on his face and nonchalant expression and the Hennessey bottles surrounded him. How could he drink so much? Daniel never got drunk either... I realised I did this to him. I broke him. Shit. My eyes started to well up at what he had become. I turned him against himself, life had gotten him like he had nothing to live for

Y/N- *sits down beside him* Baby...

Diggy- *doesn't look at you*

Y/N- *grabs his hands* Babe, please talk to me.. I'm so sorry.. *eyes start to water*

Diggy- *still ignores you*

Y/N- *grabs his face* *pleads* Look at me Diggy.. look at me!!

Diggy- *eyes wander briefly to you* *looks at the tv*

Y/N- *straddles him* *wipes her tears* Babe, talk to me.. If you know me, you know that was never meant to happen. I never wanted to hurt you. I wasn't myself, I was acting all crazy form the alcohol and that guy, I don't even know what went through me. I'm sorry.. *kisses his neck and whispers* I'm so, so sorry..

I knew the only way to make him better.. to make him himself? I kissed him.. the neck kisses trailed up to his jawline and to his lips. Daniel was stiff, hands motionless as they laid by his sides and my tears dripped down the skin of his neck and trailed to his collarbones. "I'm sorry Daniel, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you like this baby. You know I'd never do that to you..." I whispered, cupping his jaw in my palms and planting the most gentle kiss on his lips.. as if it would bring him back to life...

His lips didn't move with mine, they refused as I tried to kiss him. Stuck and limp like the rest of him. I pulled my lips from his, looking into his brown eyes that only stared at me. Dark, cold and emotionless. It wasn't him. I wanted my Daniel back. He should have been hard.. wanting me.. craving me and thrusting me towards him and insisting I was his now. He wasn't. He didn't.

Cupping my palm over his member, I straddled him more comfortably, lifting myself right onto his lap and bending my head down to kiss him again. Gently, I stroked my hand over him.. I felt him spark at my touch.The cold Daniel that was here a second ago had disappeared and warmed to me. When I kissed him, still enticing him into it, he reciprocated. Harshly... Violently.

Biting down on my lips, taking control and diving his tongue into my warm sea, possessing the whole kiss, I wanted to hold his neck, but he slid my hands down, pushing his underneath me and my skirt, flicking at my panties before reaching up and grabbing my ass, tight.. I was his now. Pushing me down in front of him on the floor, he pulled it all off me without a second thought, his fingers firmly gripping me and pushing my legs apart as he fetched his rod from his sweatpants. Hard. And fucking ready. He dived in. No mercy for me or my cries that I was tight and it was excruciating. My whimpers increased as he let out all his frustrations, leaning down to me as I grabbed onto his neck. He pecked, bit and sucked on my skin as his hips did all the work, grinding and thrusting..

He continued to fill me, I felt him release himself as he tightened,y walls did too as he sighed his relieves away while he pulled from the last stroke above me... but this wasn't enough. Turning me over onto my stomach, he lay over me and slid it in.. the pain once again seared and he waited for my walls to become adjusted to him. No words from him at all. He stroked the desire, the pain, the frustration, the anger and the heartbreak away. Fast, long, easy, deep, tender, slow and rapid strokes. Only the sound of our slapping skins met with the silent room, the hushed breaths from me, his grunted breaths.. all until he became harder ad he grunted for the last time.. pulling away and finally collapsing beside me on the grey rug.

Diggy- Congratulations. You won. *gets up*

Y/N- *looks at him* What? *sits up*

Diggy- *pulls on his sweatpants* That's what you wanted, right? You didn't want me, but you wanted to have sex with me so I could finally leave you alone? Cool.

Y/N- *pulls on her skirt* No.. Daniel, I..

Diggy- It's no problem Y/N. I'm not interested, not the dates, not the days out, not the marriage part or even the future. You can keep it all for someone else. *walks off*

Y/N- *stands up* That's not the reason why I came to see you. I wanted to apologise, make you feel better.. move on from this..?

Diggy- *turns around* You.. *laughs a little*

Y/N- *looks at him worriedly*

Diggy- *glance sup at you ans hakes his head*You really thought sex would help me to move on from this, huh? 

Y/N- *stutters* No..

Diggy- You think I would give up my kids for sex? You think that I would.. would trade you and a chance at happiness for a mere sexual affair?!

Y/N- *looks in his eyes and shakes her head* I never thought that!

Diggy- *grabs the door handle* Get out.

Y/N- Daniel, let me explain! That's not what this is!!

Diggy- I don't want to ask you again.

Y/N- *walks to the door*

Diggy- You think that I'm so obsessed and blinded by sex that it makes me a bad father and I don't deserve to ever meet or be with my daughter. I get you now.

Y/N- *turns around* I want you to be a part of their lives.. as much as you want and in mine

Diggy- So when I get to meet Kelani, I'm not this bad person anymore? You think of me differently when I find out about her?

Y/N- There's so many times when I wanted to tell you. Call you, invite you in, confess everything!

Diggy- You only wanted to be here so your job is untouched and the kids don't miss out on a father. The bet is off. The kids will still have two parents in their lives, tell Kelani that at least one of us thinks that's needed rather than one that goes out kissing strangers for fun..

Y/N- That was a mistake! I don't act like that! I don't drink heavily, I told you no more and you insisted! I'm sorry I did this, embarrassed you and upset you!

Diggy- Being drunk changes your behaviour, not your morals. You must have been thinking about cheating for a while, alcohol doesn't suddenly change that.

Y/N- You're taking this all out of proportion.

Diggy- Any other questions?

Y/N- You're jealous, right? It's all about that but you won't bother talking to me about it because of your pride. You always wanna be right.

Diggy- You know what... *opens the door* Go.

Y/N- *looks out in the hall* *leaves*

DIGGY'S P.O.V.

Give or take an hour after she left, I felt like myself again. Like I got a huge weight off my head, all my previous thoughts out and my relief reinstated. I walked past my living room and met with the mirror... I gazed at my reflection. Damn. I needed to have a shower. I undressed and jumped in, the water washing away all my stresses.. I felt better, lighter. Happier. 

My mood changed drastically and I suddenly felt the need for food. Looking around, the alcohol had really made me hungry and the weed after effects were kicking in.. and probably my suppressed appetite from the past few days. I decided to order take out. That low fat kebab I had the other week sounded good. I'll order that again.

Cashier- *on the phone* So that's the chicken shawarma wrap.. would you like any sauce for that? 

Diggy- *scratches his head* What sauces do you have?

Cashier- Well...

As the girl on the other line detailed the selection of sauces to me, my mind retraced back to one of the dinners I'd had at Y/N's.. she offered me a while range of dressings, condiments and sauces for the Indian food we were about to devour. She always said her grandmother was part Indian or something, I can't remember, but she'd taught her these recipes.. there was green, chutneys, plum, barbeque... Kelani and Malik wondering why me and Y/N called each other babe and baby because they got all confused an.. and th.. oh shit!.

Diggy- *stutters on the phone*

Cashier- Okay.. your order will be with you in around 20 minutes, is that okay?

Diggy- That's great, thank you. Thank you. *hangs up*

Sitting back on my couch, sighing, resting my elbows on my knees and my palms over my face as the tv blared the basketball fixtures at me. The woman I was meant to hate, loathe, despise and push away, we'd just... Good God. The more I thought about it, the more I realised I was stupid enough to miss the one detail I always made a priority.

.... We didn't use protection.