20. Spring, Only for Me

"I don't need anything nor cherry blossoms.I want to be with you, right next to you, until the spring passes. I wish everyone else would disappear."- 나만, 봄 (Spring, only for me) by Bolbbalgan4

•••

Have you heard that sometimes we dreamed so we did not have to be apart for so long? If two people were in each other's dream, they could be together all the time. At least, that was what A.A. Milne, the author of Winnie the Pooh, said.

Win went downstairs to check if he tripped out last night. He could clearly smell Bright's perfume and felt the touch of the bigger hands, comforting him. The moment Win opened his eyes this morning, everything had gone. If it really was dreaming, then he was missing Bright that much.

There were Ming and Ice in the living room. Both turned their head to their younger brother with his puffy face as he just woke up.

"Good morning." Ming greeted him with a warm smile. It was good to see her brother finally got out from his room after a day of withdrawal yesterday. "Your breakfast is ready. I'll heat it for you."

With his eyes scanning around the room, Win ignored his sisters. He did dream about Bright last night.

Ice, sipping her orange juice, smirked. "What are you looking for, Nong Win? Your boyfriend went to work this morning. He has photoshooting today."

Win's eyes widened. "Was he really here last night, Phi???"

"P'Ming, Nong Win thinks he was dreaming kha." Ice reported to Ming.

Ming giggled. She knew it was a surprise for her Nong. "I'm sorry, Nong. I called him last night while making you a warm milk because I felt uncertain if the milk would help you. The milk surely did not work." Ming said. "Nong Bright told me that when he entered your room, you were trying so hard to close your eyes but still opened it widely when he got on the bed."

"I was surprised, Phi. I thought he was Mick."

"The most important thing is you slept well last night." Ming ended the conversation and went to the pantry to heat the food for Win.

Ice patted the empty space beside her. "Sit here."

Win followed his sister words. He watched what Ice was watching, Korean drama, while his mind was somewhere else. He recalled the moment when he was about to push Bright away last night. He was rude.

"If you are worried that much, why don't you go to him?" Ice asked. She noticed Win frowning. He was deep in thought.

"I am not allowed to appear in public space, at least for a week, P'Ice."

"I'm not talking about public place, tho."

Win was alarmed. He had never directly told his family where he was if he did not come back home for a while. He thought that they might considered that Win was in his own condo.

"Don't you two have private place to meet up?" Ice asked again. "Something like... your condo?"

Win was relieved that Ice still thought it was Win's condo. Win smiled when Ice rose one side of her eyebrows, waiting for Win's reaction.

"Or his condo."

"Ah. That..." Win was speechless. His sister knew.

Ming took a glance at his younger sister. She gave her a code to shut her mouth but Ice rolled her eyes. It was too late, she had spilled everything they knew.

"Anyway, I won't meet up with him until everything is back to normal, Phi. I have no idea how chaotic the situation outside there." Win said. "And I have to prepare myself because the rumors will affect my work, too."

Ming came back to the living room and opened a new topic for them to talk, while Win was having breakfast.

"Nong Bright came in a flash, right, Ice? I was surprised." Ming said.

"The funniest thing was when he said that it was better not to meet Nong Win for now because Nong Win might rejected him." Ice laughed. "But what else he needed to do? He was already here."

Win kept silent. He had never thought that Bright would come to his rescue immediately.

"After you calm down later, come visit him na, Nong." Ming suggested.

Win moved his head up and down, a sign of agreement. "Later, Phi."

His oldest sister went along with Win. The fact that Bright's presence alone could make his brother relaxed and fell asleep had amazed this family.

•

4 days passed and Bright kept himself busy wih his work. Win had not contacted him yet. Win's siblings did not call Bright either, so he assumed that Win's condition was better than the last time Bright saw Win.

Bright was exhausted. He went hangout with his friends everyday so he did not have to disturb Win with his message because he was so close to text Win, asking if he was ok, or if he had had breakfast, and that would be annoying since Win needed time to be alone now.

"You are so weary." Fluke said. "Go home directly. We are not hanging out tonight."

First agreed. "I'm running out of money, too. We really spent much money to go to bar. I give up, P'Bright."

Bright clicked his tongue although he understood that his friends had sacrificed their time and money to accompany the lonely him. "I know. I'll go back to my condo and take some rest."

Thus, Bright was already in his condo before midnight. The urge to text Win, asking for his day, was so big to the point he had to turn his phone off and left it on the dining room before going to bed.

The lamp was off while Bright's eyes was on. He had always thought that he needed Win to be by his side and enliven his life. Now that Win was disheartened, Bright wished he could do something for Win, like Win continually did for him.

That thought knocked Bright out. It haunted him every single night. He did not get to help him in this difficult time because he had no chance. Win did not let him. Why did not that guy rely on him more?

Bright fell asleep not long after he regretted for being a good-for-nothing guy even though he was already in a relationship with Win.

Bright had a sleeping habit to sleep on his back and hug something on top of his body, whether it was a squeezable blanket, bolster, or plush toy. If someone took it away from him, he would not sleep well and wake up only to find something to be hug again. In the car, he would sleep with his hands across the chest.

That night, it happened. The bolster he had been hugging disappeared from his embrace. In the middle of sleeping, Bright's arms wandered on his stomach and chest but he did not find the bolster. He opened his eyes widely at once and got up in confusion. He moved to search for the bolster in the dark but his body bumped into something harder than bolster.

Being scared, Bright turned to the bedside table to switch the lamp on.

"Nnnggg..."

Bright hurriedly switch the lamp off when he heard a familiar mumble, complaining about the lamp. "I'm sorry." He apologized immediately.

The bolster was in someone else's hug. Someone who could not sleep without two bolsters in his right and left side. However, since he often slept together with Bright, one bolster and one Bright were enough.

Bright smiled in relief seeing Win sleeping on his bed, facing his side, hugging Bright's bolster. "When did you arrive here, hmm?" Bright asked under his breath.

The long fingers of Win which were squeezing the bolster loosened when Bright slipped his index finger between the fingers and the bolster. The fingers curled back around Bright's. The older one giggled. "You are such a baby." He said while taking away the bolster with his other hand and held Win tightly in his arms.

"Welcome back na."

•

The morning after Win came back to Bright's condo was not as smooth as Bright imagined. Seriously. He was as shocked as everyone who had ever been in this situation before because...

The moment when Win opened his eyes and found himself in someone's embrace, he pushed Bright away, it woke Bright up.

The first thing that Bright said was... "Shia! Ai Win! What are you doing so early in the morning?"

Win's eyes which widened, softened when he realize it was Bright. "Phi...?!" Win came closer to Bright and cupped his cheeks. "I'm sorry na... I was surprised. I forgot I was in your condo."

"Where did you think you were, huh? And who did you think I was?" Bright was annoyed. "Did you think I was not surprised last night? You stole my bolster!"

Win chuckled. "I'm sorry, Phi. I really could not sleep, so I came."

"Huh? You could not sleep for 4 days and only came here last night without notice? You are so cruel." Bright complained. "You are annoying. Don't touch me."

Win let Bright's cheeks go while grinning. He did not mean to upset Bright early in the morning but it could not be helped.

Bright got up and left the bedroom. He entered the room after a moment with a glass of fresh milk in his hand. "For you."

A smile bloomed on Win's face. He took the glass and gulped it in one shot.

"Are you thirsty or what?"

Win did not answer. He gave back the empty glass to Bright.

"You stay there. Don't move." Bright shouted when he saw Win was about to get up from the bed. Win was stunned like a thief caught red-handed by a police. "I'm gonna wash this glass and come back. Don't you dare to leave the bed."

Win's eyes followed every move Bright made when Bright came back to the room and sat beside him on the bed. Both leaned their back on the pillow headboard.

"Have P'Day called you?"

"Not yet, Phi."

"Of course. It's not a week yet."

"Umm."

"Everything will be ok."

"Don't you think... I brought my career down with my own hands? I should have been more careful."

"I don't think so." Bright thereupon replied Win. "You did nothing wrong."

"The rumors..."

"Listen." Bright grabbed Win's hand and cupped it with his two hands. "People assumed that you came back together with her because they knew you used to be a couple. Howbeit, if she was not your ex girlfriend, they would still assume that you were together. All the same."

Win sighed. "But I am with you."

"But they don't know about us." Bright said. "And we won't talk about us here. We have to reconstruct your mind." He changed the topic immediately.

Win agreed. He fell silent, ready to hear more from Bright.

"If you think you need to clarify this rumor, you must talk to P'Day before all else. But if you don't think so, time will normalize everything." Bright counseled Win. "This rumor won't affect your career."

"Some people had left because they didn't want me to have a girlfriend." Win claimed. "Some of them wanted me to be with you."

"Oh, they have no idea." Bright chuckled. "They will regret it once they know about us and more people will go because they don't want you to be with me."

How Win wished he could smile at the fact that Bright said. He exhaled heavily, imagining the situation out there.

"You know, Ai Win, what you are thinking right now, it's all in your head. P'Day told you to hide is only worsen your thought but she actually wanted to wait for the press to calm down." Bright explained.

Win listened to the statement obediently. He unconsciously nodded. His forehead knitted as he was considering what he was listening to.

"You are not me. I was careless back then, causing misunderstanding, many people left me. Do you remember when my ex and I took a break for quite a while? It was like the whole world was against me. And it was just the early phase of the peak of my career. I ruined it." Bright reminisced his experience in the past few years. "Not to mention how I carelessly kissed my ex in public for half-baked reason months ago."

Win suddenly recalled the memory. "Ah, that kiss..."

"You are not a newbie anymore. You have your own fans, your own market. Your career has established. People who stay with you are more than them who left you." Bright continued. "And you have me. Let me help you. Tell me how I should help you because I will do anything."

Win shook his head quickly. "Don't say something like that, Phi. You have your own career to take care of."

Bright stroked Win's hand that was still cupped by his hands gently. "You are already so careful, Win. It's ok, I'll be with you. Always. That's what you have taught me. It's my turn."

Win smiled bitterly during the time Bright caressed his hand. Bright was not always this soft. No romantic words he would say casually, but Win knew how Bright sincerely wanted to do his part as Win's partner.

"I understand, Phi." Win finally said something. He pulled his hand back. He stretched out his arms to wrap Bright's waist as he put his chin on Bright's shoulder.

Bright was confused with Win's sudden move. He took a glance at his shoulder and he felt warm on his ears. They must be red already now. "What are you doing?"

"Spoil me today."

"No."

"You are shy, Phi."

"Do I look like I am shy?"

"You are shy when you don't look like you are shy."

Bright rolled his eyes. He forgot that Win was an observant and knew him that well since before they were close, long before they were in a relationship now.

Bright turned his head to Win who was so close. Too close, Bright could not count the distance between Win's face and his. "Can you smile for me?"

"I have smiled for you earlier."

"When we talked about the rumors, you smiled even though it was distressing for you." Bright said. "Can you smile for me? For me only, because you love me."

Win took a deep breath and smiled as he let it out. "I'm smiling now. Will you spoil me today?"

Bright flipped his body to face Win. "I don't know how to spoil you. Just do what you want."

Win chuckled. He jumped on Bright, made the older man falling on the bed, lying on his back. "Play with me."

"Fifa?"

"No."

Bright laughed softly. "I have to be in the office before 11 AM. I can't play with you."

"Not now?"

"Not now." Bright replied. He checked the clock on the wall. It was late to have breakfast. "Don't say you are not hungry."

"I don't say I'm not hungry." Win dropped a brief kiss on Bright's lips before he got up from the top of Bright's body. "Should I cook for you?"

"Noodle cup, then."

Win laughed. He was not good at cooking and Bright understood it very well. If Bright was too tired from work and Win was free, Bright would ask Win to order food online. If Win was exhausted and Bright was fit, he would cook something simple for Win to eat. Win was too comfortable to be by Bright's side.

Everytime Win tried to cook something else and it ended up messy, Bright said he was not that bad. Bright would ate it all. Win asked himself if what he did to Bright all this time was enough to pay back the love that he received.

The last words Bright heard from Win before calling someone by phone was... "Where do you put the noodle cup? I can't find it in usual place."

Bright did not answer because he was on an urgent call. "P'Guy, I can't go to the office today. Can you cancel my registration for musical instruments session?"

"Huh? Why?"

While walking out of the bedroom to where Win was, Bright replied Guy, "Ai Win is here."

Win turned his head to Bright when he heard his name was mentioned. "Khrab?"

"He finally come back to your condo?"

"Umm. I'm gonna spend my time with him today."

"Aw, you said you have to go to the office." Win protested.

"Ok, ok. I'll find a reason for your absence."

Bright hung up the phone. He put it on the top of the fridge nearby. He shoved the cup noodle away from Win. "It's time for you to spoil me. You have made me suffer from worrying about you for many days. Pay for it."

"Tonight."

"No, I want it now." Bright grabbed Win's hand and pulled him to the bedroom.

"But I'm the one who want to be spoiled, Phi." Win complained. "P'Bright~~~"

At the time they entered the bedroom, Bright slowly pushed Win to the wall. "I won't spoil you because I don't know how."

"Everything that you always do to me, it's spoiling me."

"I won't do it. I don't want to be under your control."

"I have never controlled you, Phi."

"I always want you to be under my control."

The voice they both used had become softer and softer. The voice dropped and practically inaudible.

Win looked deep into Bright's eyes, so did Bright into Win's eyes. He slowly put his arms around Bright's neck. "Aren't I always under your control?" He whispered.

The older man who was standing in front of Win only few centimeters away was burned by Win's words. His pupils dilated. There was no chance to delay it any longer. He reached for Win's head and brought the younger man's face closer to him. So close that no distance between them anymore.

No distance, the only solution to keep breathing was they have to become one.

Their lips sucked each other. They were thirsty. Only few days since the last time they fed each other's craving but they were already shrivelled to the point of losing their mind. There was no way to master their basic instinct.

•••

If you are not into explicit scene, please skip the next chapter.

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