01. Look At

"Look at your scars revealing but you're still watching the days go by."- Look At by SALTNPAPER

•••

"Where are you? I saw my car in the parking lot. Are you going to the grocery store after seeing the fridge empty?"

"I'm not coming back."

Just like a thunder, the answer of a young woman on the phone struck the man who was just arrived in his condo, expecting to meet his girlfriend that was supposed to come back to condo that day.

"Is something wrong?"

A sigh was heard. "I was there to give your car back and went home with my friend."

"Don't joke around. What is this? You can tell me."

"You didn't even go to my bedroom like what you used to do when you miss me." The young woman said. "Or did you not miss me anymore when I was gone?"

Another thunder struck him again.

"If you went to my room, Bright... you would see my belongings were all packed." The woman said. "But you did not."

"I was busy this wee-"

"No, you were not."

Bright was speechless. He still did not get what he was going through at the moment.

"It's over, Bright. Let's end us."

"You are out of your mind."

"You are."

"Don't tell me that you suddenly wanted to go home a week ago was because I could not go home earlier as I promised that night."

"I have never complained about you not coming back earlier and you know that, but..." The young woman took a deep breath before continuing her sentence. "Bright... you didn't even remember what day it was. You don't remember until today, too."

Bright hurriedly walked closer to the calendar on the table. His face became expressionless. He had no other reason to hold his girlfriend back.

"Bright, do you know that you've changed? You're not mine anymore and it's been a while." The woman said again. "I have been wanting to let you go but I must confess I held a big expectation about you, but that night I realized, I-"

"Don't leave me. Don't break up with me. Not today."

"This should have been done earlier."

"If you do this, I have no one to turn to."

"You have, Bright. Didn't you listen to me? You've changed. We lived together but it's been a long time since the last time I feel that I'm living with someone I used to share everything with." The woman talked back at Bright. "You have to make peace with your heart, Bright. Are you not aware of your own feeling? I have no space in your heart anymore." The woman explained calmly. "I really am tired and I'm really sorry to feel like this toward us."

Bright had no words. He did not give the woman any reply even though she called his name several times before she finally hung up.

Bright did not cry. He walked slowly toward his ex girlfriend's bedroom. He checked the closet and everything but he found nothing.

The relationship had really ended.

•

It was already 11.30 AM on the next day but Bright's condo was still noiseless until the sound of phone ringing woke a man who had been sleeping the whole time up. He checked his phone and found a familiar name on the screen. The one who always called him only from LINE application. He picked the call up and the voice he heard suddenly opened his eyes wider.

"P'Bright, sawasdee khrab. Have you woken up? Are you home?"

"Hmm. I'm home."

"I have no schedule today, Phi. Can we play fifa game in your condo? I'm bored."

Bright put his phone at the distance and observed the name on the screen. He wondered if it was really his junior but he did not false reading the name.

"Are you really Ai Win?"

"I am, Phi. I'm in the lobby, by the way. May I go up now khrab?"

Bright did not know what ghost had possessed Win because the younger one sound so cheerful on the phone. Win was not someone who initiated something boldly. Still, Bright could not go against someone who suddenly said he was in the lobby. On the other hand, Bright was not in the mood for meeting with another human being.

"I will unlock the door for you but don't disturb me. You play the game by yourself." Bright quickly hung up.

After unlocking the door, Bright came back to his bedroom and covered his whole body with blanket. He heard someone opening the door. Another noise was heard from the living room after that. Bright did not realize that he fell asleep again even though he was surrounded by the sound.

Bright woke up once again. This time, he checked the clock. It was 02.00 PM already. He did not look at the clock the last time. He must had slept for a long time because he felt his body was all sore.

The noise from the living room tickled Bright to get out of the room. When he opened the door, Win turned his face to him right away.

"Did I wake you up?"

Bright shook his head. He lost for words. Not because of sudden question, but the unexpected cheerful smile from Win.

"Have you eaten khrab, Phi? I only bring you snack. We can order food if you are hungry."

As Win told him about the snack, Bright noticed that there was a plastic bag on the dining table. It was full of snack. He checked on Win again, but no snack around him. Another thing that he noticed was...

"What are you doing? You don't play Fifa, you are watching people." Bright came closer to see what Win was watching. It was a talk show.

"I have been waiting for Phi to wake up and play with me."

Bright shook his head again when he saw Win gave him a wider smile. He did the same to himself after receiving the happy energy from Win, but then the peace of mind disappeared as he saw the door of his ex girlfriend's bedroom opened.

"Bright, do you know that you've changed?"

Bright could not believe that something that he did not even know was able to break him apart with his long time girlfriend. He was dying to force his ex for the justification, but he disliked how his ex being all enigmatic. It annoyed him since he was curious but too tired to rack his brain.

"Are we playing the Fifa now, Phi?"

The question from Win saved him big time. Bright breathed a sigh of relief and walked toward his ex girlfriend's bedroom to close the door. When he came closer to Win after that, he saw his junior watching him from a far with a slight smile on his face.

"Let's play."

"I thought you would say you were hungry." Win was disappointed.

"Are you hungry?"

"Khrab."

Bright breathed deeply but then he laughed out loud made Win confused and started thinking that Bright was having mood swing.

"Ai Win, you are really amusing." Bright was still laughing. "Really entertaining. I can't..."

Win furrowed his eyebrows but still showing his smile for Bright. He found Bright was the one who looked silly now. "You can't? You can't... what is it that you can't khrab, Phi?"

"Stop. Go order your food now!" Bright had to command Win to move from his sight or he would not stop laughing.

Win got up from the sofa to the fridge and went through the restaurant brochures that attached on its door.

Bright watched his junior's back as he ordering the food after making a fuss over what to eat for their lunch. Bright always had this thought: Everyone who saw Win would surely be happy instantly. Watching Win had never failed to make Bright forgot what trouble he was going through.

"Anyway, Phi... everyone is looking for you."

The change of topic made Bright rolled his eyes. "I know."

"Phi, everyone is looking for you na. You did not pick up their calls. They are worried."

"I was sleeping."

Win would not gain his victory if he argued with Bright. He preferred to talk about something else. "Also... You broke up, Phi."

"Where did you get the news?" Bright asked. Seeing Win fell silent, Bright concluded himself. "You have talked to Ai First, haven't you?"

"Your fans concluded it by themselves."

"So, you believe in their conclusion."

"No, Phi. P'First called me."

This conversation was supposed to be serious but the way Win made him going in circle, successfully turned it to be funny.

"Ai Win, you know? I think you should shut up and play this game until the food is coming." Bright tried to stop Win to make him laugh.

"Anyway, Phi..." Win's voice softened as he sat beside Bright. "...you can talk to me na. I'm here for you."

"Someone has sent you here, right? Who is it? Ai First again?"

Win did not answer. He patted Bright's shoulder.

Bright took a deep breath. "You know, I think you guys think too much. How should I say this?" Bright tried to explain his situation to Win. "I'm lying if I say I'm not surprised. I'm surprised with the sudden decision she made. What's more, she had thought about it for a long time."

"I understand, Phi. You are brokenhearted and it's normal."

"I'm not." Bright corrected it immediately. "I'm just tired. I don't want to think about anything for now."

Win frowned. He doubted what he just heard. "Huh? Are you not brokenhearted right now? How come, Phi?"

"I have no idea myself." Bright replied calmly. His eyes scanned his own condo for a moment. "This condo is too big for one person. Should I move from here to a smaller condo?"

Win was confused again. "Who are you talking to, Phi?"

"I am asking myself."

"Oh."

At first, Win intended to let Bright staring in silent at his ex girlfriend's bedroom which was closed. After some times, he felt that Bright had stared for too long.

"I don't think you have to move to smaller condo." Win pulled Bright's mind back to ground. "If you think about the empty room, it can be used by your friends when they stay the night. Or your mom."

Bright narrowed his eyes after listening to Win's thought. "Where are you in that sentences? You only mentioned my friends and my mom."

"But I rarely stayed overnight in your place khrab, Phi."

Bright smirked. "Don't you wanna try to stay here more frequently?"

"Even when I visit until midnight, my house and condo is still at reach. This sofa is my friend when I have to spend the night here because of the sleepiness."

"Just try. There is an empty room for guests to sleep." Bright talked into Win once more. "I think I will need you."

"Khrab?" Win was unsure with what he heard because suddenly Bright said the last sentence in tender voice.

"If you can make me happy like this, I will call you everytime I'm feeling down." Bright said.

"Oh, sure. Anytime, Phi."

"And if I ask you to stay overnight, you must stay."

Win nodded. "I can do that, too, if I have no schedule. I always have change clothes in the car."

Bright nodded. "Good brother. Let me pat your head."

Win let Bright did what he wanted. "Are you Sarawat?" Win sounded like complaining but he did not.

"I'm Bright."

Win giggled. He wished Bright did not reply at him at the question, but Bright did it. "You should call your friends back na, Phi. They are looking for you." Win reminded him again.

"I will." Bright agreed in the end. "How many time have you repeated it?"

"Once."

"Wrong. Twice."

"Already?"

"Hmm." Bright nodded.

"Everyone is looking for you khrab, Phi." Win said it again. "Thrice! Yeah!" He was happy as a clam.

Bright narrowed his eyes and looked at Win sharply. "Are we going to play Fifa or not?"

Win grinned. "We play, Phi." Win stopped acting playful and started playing the football game with Bright since Bright began to be agitated at Win's spoofing.

Bright and Win played until the food arrived. Win was still there when Bright finally called back everyone who had tried to call him since morning and it made Win felt at ease.

The clock showed 07.30 PM and it was time for Win to leave or else, he would arrive home too late. Bright walked Win until Win got into his car.

"Later, I might have to rearrange the empty bedroom." Bright said before Win got in the car. "Help me."

"Sure, Phi. Call the others, too. It will be easier for you." Win granted Bright's wish straight off. "I'll go home now na, Phi. Good night, khrab."

"Hmm." Bright nodded. "Good night."

•

On the way home, Win stopped the car at the side of the road. He massaged his head gently. He still had all his marbles, unfortunately. Unless, he already banged his head to his car's window.

Win hurriedly searched for someone in his contact list and made a call.

"Halo."

"P'Mix, can we meet?"

"Now?"

"Tomorrow. Do you have any schedule?"

"There will be acting class tomorrow."

"I want beers."

"I have beers."

"Then, I'm coming to your place now."

"Huh? Ai Win, are you cra-"

Win already hung up. He drove the car faster. He needed alcohol even though he knew it would take him so long to be drunk. He wanted to lose conciousness a bit so he would not feel miserable with no reason.

•••

Isn't this short?

It's just an intermezzo.A warming up will be good for all of us ;)

From now on, where will we go?Where will Bright and Win go?

Let's walk this road together, shall we? :)

I appreciate your vote and comments.I'll get back to you soon.

With love,

dedededeva 💋