Chapter 28

The time that had passed between Spencer debating speaking with Esme and getting on a plane with her and Theo had been less than half a day, and yet it had felt like a week had already gone by. Her energy had been completely drained from both confrontations she'd had that afternoon.

She had learned betrayal from every person she loved and trusted, all at various degrees of hurt. Granted, she should have been used to it. After her own father had disappeared from her life, it seemed everyone else had decided that hurting her would be the norm, and they all had taken perfectly to their task.

The second Spencer finally sat on her plane seat realization dawned upon her. She was crossing the country to save the man who had decided her heart wasn't worth love and care. All because she knew she would never be able to live with herself if she ever treated Carlisle like he had treated her.

The girl wanted to burst out laughing, for fear that if she started crying again, she wouldn't stop. Well, if she thought much about the situation she was in, she knew she would cry. Instead, she turned her attention to anything but that.

"So, you and Esme, huh," she whispered toward Theo, nudging her softly with her elbow. "You two seem to have been getting close."

"Oh, um, w-well, we've just been working together," Theo stammered. "For Carlisle, you know?"

"Right," Spencer grinned. "So, that means that those googly eyes and lingering touches are all part of the plan, right? Good to know. Will I be getting any of that treatment?"

"So, you saw that, huh?"

"It's not like you were very discreet about it," she teased. "I've also grown to know that look very well."

Spencer knew if Theo could, her face would have grown red already. Although Esme was a few rows in front, there was no doubt she could hear them had they spoken just a decibel higher than they were.

"God, I can't really lie about that," the vampire sighed, rubbing her eyes in frustration. "I do. I like her. A lot. Way more than I've ever liked someone before."

"Then why don't you tell her? It's not like you have anything to lose."

"Come on," she chuckled. "Why would she ever be interested in someone like me? I'm nothing special."

"Seriously, Theo? You cannot believe that," Spencer said. "Just the fact that you're an immortal being with powers makes you special enough. And that's the least interesting thing about you. You're extremely intelligent, you're funny, you're caring—you're honestly a great catch."

"Yeah, but so is she. So, what am I bringing to the table?"

"Love, respect, loyalty, kindness... I mean, what else can you ask for, really. It's not a pageant, Theo. There are no shoes to fill here."

Only silence came from the vampire as she thought over her friend's words. Her eyes darted to the pale woman three rows in front of them whose nose was stuck in a book, headphones over her ears. For someone so fearless, who had lived a century and some change, and had faced a multitude of obstacles and dangers, confessing her feelings to someone was the scariest thing she had come across.

"When did you know?" Spencer broke Theo out of her thoughts. "That you, uh, well, that you liked girls."

"Question for the ages, isn't it?" Theo chuckled softly, thankful to drift her mind away from the brunette a few rows down. "Is it too cliché if I said I always knew?"

"Of course not."

"Back in my time—and many years after that too— I would have been killed just for looking at a woman for too long," she said. "After, I would have been locked in a mental asylum and left to rot. If I had not been a vampire, I would have been dead for who I loved a long time ago. "Restricting myself for years made it hard for me to allow myself to feel for another woman," Theo continued. "Not only did I have to hide the fact that I was a vampire, but I had to deny the most human of feelings. Then again, I haven't been a human longer than everyone on this plane has been alive. So, yeah, I have always known the kind of person I can love, but I've never been allowed the right to."

A small trickle of tears had started falling down Spencer's right eye, warming her cheek as it did. The only reason she had been judged and chastised over who she loved was because he was a vampire, which had nothing to do with the fact he was a man. She couldn't fathom having to live avoiding love all out of fear someone who couldn't stand the sight of it would react.

"Oh, I didn't mean to make you cry, Spence," Theodora cooed, wiping away the tears with her cold hand. "It's just how things are. I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be," Spencer sniffled. "How could loving someone be a bad thing? I mean, even Christians should understand that—the bible tells as much. "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." I just can't understand why others seem so concerned about everyone's life but their own."

"I'm guessing there's more to the story here than just gay rights, Spence," Theo inquired. "What's going on?"

"I veered off topic there at the end, didn't I?" the girl sighed. "Sam and Paul admitted to throwing away your letters. They say it was to protect me, but they just didn't want me to have any relation to your kind."

"What?" Theo mused. "Lesbians?"

"Come on," Spencer laughed. "You know what I mean."

"Your brother was probably doing what he thought was best. It's his job to protect humans from people like me," the vampire reasoned. "I'm not saying it was right, nor that you shouldn't be angry. But it must be hard juggling his sister being around his mortal enemy and being your brother."

Spencer threw her head back in frustration, knowing the viridity of her friend's words. There wasn't a right or wrong way to handle things—if there was, she hadn't read those rules yet. Everyone was simply going around, hoping the decisions they make don't affect those around them. And if they did, that the damage wasn't permanent.

Yet, it didn't alleviate the anger that had built inside her. Spencer felt no one trusted her judgment. Even worse, that they didn't believe her to be capable of making good decisions. It seemed everyone had written her off as a secondary character in her own story—nothing she wanted was the right thing. She hadn't even been given the choice to be with the man she had grown to love.

Somewhere along the five and a half hours it took to cross the country, Spencer's eyes had drifted shit. When she woke, the plane was landing on the tarmac, and the pilot was welcoming his passengers to Ithaca, New York. From there, it would be a three-hour ride to where Theo believed Carlisle had gone. But Esme thought it would be best to stop by their residence so Spencer could have a little rest.

It was the first time Spencer had been on that side of the country, and for the first time, she understood the allure of the east coast. Of course, they weren't exactly situated in the center of New York City. There weren't the bright lights and grandeur of the big city, but there was a stark contrast to the town she was born and raised in.

As they drove down the streets of Ithaca, Spencer's chest started to wrench. That was the place she would have moved to had Carlisle given her the choice to. She could see herself walking down through the town, she could pinpoint the coffee shop she would frequent before or after work, she could imagine herself taking a weekend stroll through the shops or even the farmer's market that happened every two Sundays. She could see the life she might've had. The life she never would—at least not with him.

The Cullen house in Ithaca was nothing short of magnificent, not that she expected anything less. The first thing she was met with was a big gate leading to an even bigger driveway. Unlike their home in Forks, this one felt like an estate. It truly was an architectural wonder. From the front garden to the stone walls and opulent height, the house was a sight to behold—a four-floor wonder hidden by the trees of Ithaca.

"Carlisle had this built back in the 20s," Esme commented as she unloaded their bags from the car. "I think it was a year or two after I was turned. But we didn't live here until after we left Forks for the first time. I think it's my favorite of all the houses."

"It's beautiful," Spencer muttered. "Very different to the house in Forks."

"Well, it's kept its old-timey charm," she chuckled. "There's a little over seven acres of land, which helps with maintaining the privacy the family needs. I wish we were here in different circumstances. I really think you would like this place."

As though she could read her mind, Theo was quick to change the topic. "Why don't you go in and freshen up?" she told Spencer. "We'll go and get you some food in the meantime. Still a fan of burgers?"

"Yeah," the girl smiled weakly. "No onions..."

"And no pickles," Theo added. "We'll be right back."

Spencer was left by herself in the house, and she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. Everywhere she turned, there was a picture of the family or an award one of them had won at a given point in their lives. There was nowhere she could go where she wouldn't be reminded of who the house belonged to.

Instead of choosing a room to lie down in, the girl decided to explore. She opened door after door, her eyes running through every surface she could find. Ever room was different, but a perfect example of every single of the Cullens that normally inhabited the house. There was a clear distinction behind every door she opened, there was no way she could mistake who the area belonged to.

But it was the last door she opened that took her aback.

It wasn't a bedroom, unlike the other ones she'd opened. That one was an office filled from floor to ceiling with books. A beautiful oak desk lived in the middle of the room paired with a black leather office chair. It was undoubtedly Carlisle's room.

And if there was any doubt that it was the older vampire's office, a particular picture on the desk only cemented the premise.

She could remember the exact moment the picture had been taken. Three days before her entire life changed. Alice had made sure to document everything about Bella's birthday, taking picture after picture of anything she could think of. It seemed one of those things had been a moment Spencer and Carlisle spent apart from the family. They had only been talking, but that wasn't what the picture captured. It was the absolute look of love in their shared gaze that stood out from the image. A radiant gleam that had washed over them and seemed to radiate from the still. A beautiful moment frozen in time that seemed like a lifetime ago.

Spencer took the frame in her hands as she sat on the floor, running her fingers across the glass as though she could relive that moment with just a single touch. Every emotion surged from deep inside her and erupted in another stream of tears she didn't want to fall. She had cried more in those last six months than she'd had her entire life. And though she was tired of it, she couldn't seem to stop.

She wanted the feeling in that photo back. The smile she wore and the glint in her eyes, the glow of being in love and being loved. She wanted to be that happy once more. A part of her would always want that with Carlisle. But there was another side, albeit a small one, that told her life went on and she could have that with someone else.

Suddenly, the ringing of her phone made the frame in her hands stumble to the ground. After seeing that the glass was unharmed, she pulled the device out of her pocket and clicked the green button.

"Hey, you get there okay?"

"Hi, Eden," she said as she let out a breath of relief. "Yeah. We got here about an hour ago. Just settled into the house. We still have a bit more traveling to do tomorrow."

"You must be exhausted," he said. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Uh, my friends went out to get some food, but I'm honestly not that hungry. I'm just tired, you know? And it's not sleep I need," the girl sighed. "I just want this to be over with already."

"Think of it this way: it will only take a couple of days before you can pass the page and get on for the rest of your life. You can do a couple of days, right?"

"I have to," she chuckled. "I'm already here."

"You're stronger than most, Spence," Eden muttered. "You'll come out of this better than ever."

"I wish I had your conviction, but I can't help but wonder if I'm still doing the right thing."

"Wanna know what I think?"

"More than anything."

"I think you know you're doing the right thing, but you're looking for an excuse to think it isn't," he said. "I think you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you didn't help this guy, regardless of what he did to you. Because that's who you are, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's what makes you a great person."

Spencer pulled her knees to her chest as she listened to Arden's words. He spoke so surely it was as though he had known her all her life. He'd told her what she needed to hear and more. She had shown her there was someone else who had been able to look into her soul. "Thanks, Eden," she smiled. "You have no idea how much those words mean to me."

"I'm only saying what I believe," he said. "I know it might be surprising given how I acted those first couple of months, but after giving myself the chance to get to know you, I can tell you're an incredible person."

"You sound so sure," she chuckled. "We've only been properly acquainted for almost a month."

"Doesn't take much time to be impressed by you," Eden admitted. "And I can honestly say that. You're amazing, Spencer."

Spencer found it hard to accept the compliment, especially coming from him. His words made her heart hammer against her chest, and her cheeks grew red and warm. She took a moment to think of her next words, thankful that he wasn't standing before her. And as if by divine intervention, from a distance, she heard the front door open and two voices following behind. "Uh, so, my friends just came back."

"Oh, yeah, of course. I'll let you go."

"Thanks for calling, Eden," Spencer smiled. "I'll let you know when I get back home."

"Alright, sounds like a plan," he said. "Be safe, Spencer."

"I will. Bye, Eden."

With a reciprocated goodbye, Spencer put her phone back into her pocket. She wiped away her tears and placed the photo frame back on the desk, making sure nothing looked amiss. Just as she had entered, the girl left the office to join the vampires in the kitchen.

"So, we got you a burger and fries," Theo said as she pulled the items from the bag onto the kitchen counter. "We also got you some drinks and snacks in case you get hungry during the night."

"We want to try and be out of here as early as possible tomorrow morning," Esme added. "But no pressure. You can sleep for as long as you need."

"Thanks, guys," Spencer smiled. "You didn't have to do all this. I would have been fine with just the burger."

"Well, it's mostly for us," Theo shrugged. "Made me feel human for a second to go around buying food. Makes me want to go grocery shopping just for fun."

"It is fun," Esme chimed. "Granted, we're not limited to allergies, diets, or money. Could not imagine being a human again and being betrayed by your stomach."

"Well, as a human that is not betrayed by my stomach, I will agree it can be fun," the girl chuckled softly. "What's not as fun is having to feed yourself every day and cook most days."

"That's true, I guess," Theo agreed. "It's easier when your choices are just whatever wildlife you encounter, and we don't even have to cook it."

If either of them noticed that Spencer had been crying, they didn't make any mention of it. Instead, they asked if the burger was good and if she had found a room to rest in for the night. For a moment, the three women weren't on a stop to save Carlisle. For a split second, it felt like three friends who had decided to take a weekend trip to New York. They were able to talk and laugh about nothing and everything.

They spent the rest of the night in front of the fireplace, dancing around what they would have to do the following day, instead preferring the normalcy of their encounter. Even though Carlisle was still very present in the back of their minds, they allowed themselves that one night just to be friends. They all knew it would most likely be the last time they would be able to be that close.