Chapter Five

Jennie •••

Waking up was easier today. I think knowing I'm spending another day with Lisa helped.

Knowing I'm seeing her again is all that invades my mind. I'm wiping down tables and thinking of Lisa. I'm making lattes and thinking of Lisa. I'm wrapping books and thinking of Lisa.

I'm not complaining, though. It's good practice to have a positive headspace in a work environment.

It was a usual morning. Irene stopped by for the Chocolate Tiramisu, then had to get back to work. Two customers came at noon, but as expected, no one has stopped by since. That is except Jisoo who begged me to make her an Americano despite it being passed my work hours. But for my overworked best friend, I got behind the counter again and made her order.

"You're the best." she coos when the drink is handed to her. I put on my winter gear once again. "I've seen that scarf before." she points out.

"Oh, it's Lisa's."

"You stole it?"

"I did not!" she says it so casually like its a common thing for me to do. She raises an eyebrow at me as she takes a sip of the coffee.

"Sorry. You just have a thing for taking soft and fuzzy things from people."

"Is that right?" now I raise an eyebrow.

"You've gotten rid of those gloves from last Christmas, right?" the sudden upbringing of the gloves has diminished my positive headspace. Because the answer is no. They still sit in one of my storage boxes at home, tucked in my closet, where many random belongings are stowed. "Jennie, you said you would." And I was. Because the idea of spending Christmas with no ounce of regretful memories sounds amazing. But in time, I must have shoved this particular memory so far back in my mind that Jisoo has to remind me that its still there.

"I've just been busy."

"All you have to do is pick it up and throw it in the trash."

"Can we just stop talking about the damn gloves?" I just want to think about Lisa and the day we'll spend together.

She sighs and continues sipping her drink. I pull out my phone to see Lisa has texted that she's nearing the café. "I have to go." I swing my purse over my shoulder and walk around the counter.

"I'll walk out with you." By the door, I spot Wendy peering outside. I notice a worried expression on her face when she turns around at the sound of our footsteps.

"What is it?" I ask.

"You should hide."

"Why?"

"I told him you already left so he would go away, but he doesn't believe me." I look over her shoulder and see why I should have just hid when she told me to. But it's too late for that now, because he spots me looking back at him.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Jisoo steps forward, but I stop her.

"Go back in, Jisoo."

"I know you're trying to protect my reputation, Jen, but you need to realize that I care more about you."

"I'll take care of it, Chu."

"Don't talk to him."

"I'm just gonna find out what he wants." she's hoping that I change my mind for a moment, but goes back in the café with heavy feet when I don't. Wendy gives me an apologetic look, but I smile softly to let her know it's okay.

I exit the store and dread for what he has to say. He waves, flashing that smug smile he thinks is attractive. Stopping a few feet away, I pull Lisa's scarf closer to my nose because I hate the smell of his cologne. "What is it this time, Kai?"

"You weren't replying to my messages so I thought I would stop by. I wanted to know if you're alright these days."

"You said that last time. I'm fine and I don't want to see you again." I walk back towards the store, but I'm yanked by the arm to a halt. "Let go of me."

"You think blocking my number is gonna get rid of me that easily?" His grip is tight and his deep, growling- almost, voice is scaring me. It's all too familiar and it brings back unwanted memories. "I want you back, Jennie, can't you see?".

"I said let me go." because I can't move. I can't pull away or push him off. I'm stuck under his anger and I'm so afraid he's going to hit me.

"Excuse me." a gentle voice cuts through my paralysis and the blood rushes back through my arm when Kai lets go. "You dropped this." Lisa picks up the yellow scarf by her feet. It must have fallen off as our conversation escalated. She keeps her eyes locked with mine as she approaches and doesn't break it as she wraps the scarf around my neck. In a matter of seconds, I don't feel so vulnerable anymore.

Kai clears his throat.

"Hi, Nini." Nini. she stands close beside me and faces Kai. He puts on his favorite first impression smile and extends his hand to Lisa.

"I'm Kai. I own a pub just a few blocks away."

"Lisa. Jennie's friend." they shake hands.

"I've never seen you before." I glare at him for laughing at Lisa's words like her introduction was somewhat funny.

"I'm from Thailand, but just moved here."

"We should get going." I flash a smile to ensure Lisa that all is fine between Kai and I. She shouldn't tell him any more about her either. This will be the last time they ever meet and I'll make sure of it. "I just have to do something inside."

"I'll leave you guys be then. See you, Ruby Jane." The name stings. His gaze lingers on Lisa for a moment before walking away. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thankful to him because he chose not to make a scene in front of her.

"You okay? You look a little pale." I assume she didn't see Kai grab me. She brushes the loose strands of hair out of my face and presses her cold hand on my cheek. Ironically, I would have melted to the touch right then and there, but I was still trying to process what had happened seconds before.

"I'm fine. Let's get inside first." We enter the store and Wendy appears from the café area with worry, but it turns to relief when she sees Lisa behind me. I gesture a reassuring nod. Jisoo comes up behind her.

"Hey, Jisoo!" Lisa waves happily.

"L-Lisa, what are you doing here?" she glances over our shoulders, then shifts to us when she sees that Kai is gone.

"Jennie's gonna help me arrange my apartment so I came to pick her up."

Jisoo has questions written all over her face, but she knows now is not the right time to bring them up. She nods her head in understanding. Understanding that I'm going to help Lisa arrange her apartment and that I don't want to talk about what happened at the moment. She understands.

We share brief goodbyes and I let her know I'll call tonight. Once we're out of the shop and on the way to Lisa's place, she asks, "Is Kai a good friend of yours?" I knew this conversation would come up.

I love opening up to Lisa. I love to share things about me with her.

I just don't know if this is one of those things.

"We've known each other a long time. He came to the café with his dad and that's how we met." I choose my words carefully. I shouldn't lie. "We helped each other with business matters for a while. He took over his parents' pub when they moved to the US. Like me, he's a young entrepreneur.". I stir the topic towards her and thankfully she doesn't give Kai another thought. She tells me about her day at practice with Rosie and I listen to her hilarious stories until we reach her apartment building. We head up the stairs which was quite a challenge to do in the cold thin air. She punches in the code to her door and in we go.

Its a two bedroom apartment with a reasonable sized living space and kitchen. A simple couch covered in plastic sits by the wall and a few tables are left from the last tenant. Boxes are scattered and only a few essentials are out on the kitchen counter. "Well, we've got a lot to go through." she says, standing in the middle of the living room. "You really don't mind?".

•••

Unboxing most of Lisa's life that I had missed out on for 5 hours was enough to prove that I didn't mind at all.

I learned that she's won awards for both photography and dance in just her 22 years of age. She's quite popular in Thailand. The newspaper clippings compiled in a clear book that her mother made tell me that she's quite the talk around there. And I learned why that's so. She showed me her portfolio of all her best works and impressive is an understatement.

Lisa is special. She's good at what she does. She's crazy good.

I wish she had more with her, but I'll just have to wait until she has them shipped over from Thailand. She couldn't take everything she wanted all at once, she said.

So we continued unboxing, organizing, and arranging the apartment to her liking. Her taste hasn't changed one bit since our trainee days. The rabbit bedsheets, cat paintings, pastel yellow decors, and everything else white, would be an exact replica of what her room looked like back at the YG dorm, only this is extended to a proper living space.

"I think we did a pretty good job!" she rests her hands on her hips as she looks around the living room. In a span of 5 hours, we were able to put her home together quite nicely. She sits on the couch and pats on the space next to her.

"Just a few more things." I take out a pen and paper from my purse and sit against the foot of the couch to write on the coffee table.

Lisa is independent, but living independently in Korea is a different story. It would only be fair to give her some tips in managing her own apartment.

I fill her in on storage hacks, how to keep things in place and keep only what are essential. She has yet to buy a microwave and rice cooker, so I list all the groceries nearby where she could buy packed rice for the meantime. Luckily, the old tenant left a pot, so I teach her how to boil the rice in hot water, too. Along with the rice, I list Korean side dishes she could enjoy and a few of my favorite Korean food recipes. Kimchi Fried Rice sits at the top.

"This is so much work." she groans.

"What did you expect coming to live on your own?" I turn my head to the side to see she's closed her eyes and is resting her head on the backrest of the couch. "You'll get the hang of it in no time."

"Easy for you to say. You're an expert at everything!"

"I wouldn't put it that way."

"You can cook, brew coffee, live alone, own a café, sing, rap, dance, do pottery!"

"It's nothing big."

"You're a dream, Jennie Kim."

I twist my body to face her. She still has her eyes shut, but her lips are now curved up.

She doesn't take back what she said. Like she didn't say a joke or a simple tease. Like she wants me to believe her.

Maybe I shouldn't look into it too much.

"I think this will do for now." I walk over to the fridge and take one of her cat magnets to stick the paper on it, then I take the space beside her, leaning my head back the same way.

"How are you spending Christmas Eve this year, Jennie?" she asks after a moment. In truth, it's nothing special for me. It doesn't feel right celebrating a holiday on a day so close to the date that holds the heaviest and most painful memory of my life.

"Well, the store isn't open on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I always have lunch with Rosie and Jisoo in Rosie's place on the 24th, then they have their own parties to attend and me, I just spend the evening at my place."

Her head jolts up instantly. "You're telling me you spend Christmas Eve by yourself?"

"It's not as bad as it sounds."

"The girls never invited you to their parties? Yah, Park Chaeyoung is gonna get a piece of my mind." she grabs her phone from the table, but I quickly prevent her from yelling at our friend over a misunderstanding.

"They have invited me. Every year, but I chose not to go every time." her expression softens and turns to curiosity. I suppose this would be the time to tell her. "I've found it hard to celebrate Christmas since my mom passed away." I rest my head back once again and close my eyes, because for the first time, I don't want to look at her face if it means seeing her pity me. "When my mom was still here, I would decorate her hospital room whenever December came. It's her favorite holiday. Then on the year she passed, she was really excited for it as the days were going by, but she couldn't stay long enough to celebrate with me." the silence is deafening, so I take this as a sign to continue. "My uncle was away in Jeju Island with his side of the family, so I had to take care of the funeral planning until he came back. I didn't get to spend that last Christmas of his with him either, because he passed away in November the next year. It was a heart attack, I don't think I ever told you." my eyes are starting to sting. I have to swallow down the lump in my throat, too, if I want to continue.

I didn't expect to choke up like this. I figured two years was enough to cover the wound that came with my mother's and uncle's deaths. But perhaps, that's because I never had to tell anyone the story. Like I said, the only people in my life now have been in my life for a long time. Even Kai was around when my loved ones were. I never had to explain why cancer's a bitch or what happened to my uncle's heart. I never had to explain the empty funeral because of the snow storm. I never had to explain packing my mom's life in boxes and choosing what to keep and what to sell to help pay off the last hospital bill. Never any of the unbearable days after.

"Jennie."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, please." she holds my palm and gives me a soft tissue. I wipe the tears that have unwillingly fallen. She puts an arm around my shoulders to pull me close. Her fingers brush up and down my arm in a soothing manner. This helps in keeping my cries as just salty tears and not uncontrollable sobs. I'm quite embarrassed as it is.

She waits for me to collect myself, continuing the finger brushing and rubbing her hand lightly on my thigh. When my emotions are contained and eyes are dried up, she softly speaks again. "Thankyou for trusting me with that. Really, thank you."I smile at her sincerity. "Do you think you could trust me on one more thing?" I slightly pull away, enough to finally look at her, only inches apart. Her doe, brown eyes are piercing through me, pouring warmth and comfort in just the way they stare. "Let me make this Christmas better."

The sting in my eyes return. The curves of my lips catch the drops that fall again.

She wants Christmas with me.