The Less I Know The Better!

*"She said, It's not now or neverWait ten years, we'll be together..I said, Better late than neverJust don't make me wait forever.Don't make me wait forever,Don't make me wait forever."_Tame Impala- The Less I Know The Better*

Eyes of Kai:

I spent the rest of the day with Joshua and Marina and had such a great time.The next morning I woke up to us all sleep in front of the TV.I would be lying if I said I never had these feeling of what this would feel like to just enjoy a stress free day with someone that took my mind away from the world, someone that I adored just as much as they do me.Joshua came with a package deal; his amazing daughter Marina.The down side to this for some women would be her mother but no matter what she was always gonna be her mother and it was up to me to decide whether this was something I could handle.Yet and still I came with my baggage, and it was me.And I was a task at hand as well.Marina I could deal with simply because being there for that little girl makes me happy, her mother on the other hand is out of my hands all I can do is remain a lady and be the best friend I can be to Joshua.I sat there and watched Joshua and Marina sleep, I felt as if though I was watching a re-run of me and my father when I was little.How precious these moments would be for Marina and how she'll never forget these nights and moments.That just warmed a spot in me I never thought I could have for a child I didn't have on my own.It made it easy to like him even more.

I was so caught in my thoughts I didn't even notice Joshua laying there staring at me..I smiled meeting his glance."Waddup Nerd Tron 3000."He said with a morning baritone faintly stretching

"Sup."I said nodding his way as Marina stayed sleep.We had a complete stare down until the doorbell rang..He got up shaking his head..

"It's always sunin' ain't it?"He said yawning and flicking my chin sticking out his tongue at me..Little things he did like the made me melt, just the simple things.Didn't matter what was on the other side of that door though I was curious.He looked back at me.."You tryna get this one Kai Deezy?"

I laughed.."No, this is your house, your door! Handle that, handle all of that!"

He laughed shaking his head and pulling at his beard.."Damn I thought you'd take one for the team but I'ma handle that I'ma handle all of that!"

"Get the door!"I said rolling my eyes getting up to straighten up but making sure not to wake Marina all at once..•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Eyes of Joshua:

I didn't even bother to look through the peep wholeI just opened the door expecting the worst..One thing I've learned is when something good happens in my world something crazy follows..There was no way I was gonna have a peaceful night with my favorite girl and my newest favorite girl and it all be "good".I didn't even look up as I opened the door, I just brushed my hand down my face.

"Well are you gonna let me in or are you gonna stand there and look stressed out."

I looked up.."Oooh shoot! Grandma!"I said swooping her into a long hug.."What you doing hea'?"

She laughed as she came in and I closed the door behind her.."Well I didn't realize I needed a invitation to see my grand-baby!"She said standing with her hands on her hips.."Let me get a good look at you."I stopped posing for her so that she could take in all the handsomely gifts that stud before her.

"I know you see me out hea' looking good grans, facial hairs on point an allat, braids mad drippy."

She just giggled shooing me off.."Boy you looking just like yo daddy!"

"You think so?"

"Yup, tall just like em'."She said patting the side of my face..

"Handsome too, you forgot that.."I said fixing my eyebrows..

"Oooh now let's not get ahead of ourselves baby okay, grandma tired from that long drive on the road."She said laughing..

I smacked my lips.."Ight now grandma don't come in hea' wit allat frontin' and carryin' on I don't wanna have to put yo old ass out!.."

"I would like to see you try."She said walking past me going straight over to Marina who was still knocked out..She gave her a kiss and sat down by her gently..I looked around and Kai was no where to be found.."This is who I really came to see, my great grand baby. I talked to Melissa's mom she told me what's been going on, so my question is why haven't you called me?!"She said pointing at the love seat across from her to sit.And I don't know who raised y'all but when my grandma says sit, you sit!I had mad switches outside for her to choose from and wasn't about to be a victim to no type of 90s why weren't you here when the street lights came on abuse..

I sighed sitting down.."First of all getting in touch with you is next to dang near impossible, and I'm the one who pays your phone bill.. But you always find the time to answer for Melissa and her people's.."

"Watch how you handle me boy, I didn't know you had this here baby so when Melissa or her mom calls I answer.. I thought it was something wrong with this here child."I nodded being careful to pick where I came in for my plea.."You feeding this baby she nothin' but skin and bones!?"

"Come on now grandma how you gone try to play me out?"

She rolled her eyes.."Mmm.."She said crossing her right leg over her left sitting back like she was tryna solve a mystery.."That man came by asking to see the deed to you and the boys record label.."

"What man?"I asked nodding her way..

"Don't act simple boy, the same man that got ya daddy and uncle knocked and killed! The same man who's been fuckin' with us for years now! That got damn Detective Preston and I'm telling you Joshua Ricardo Longpacker I'm not dealing with this NO MORE!I already lost my babies to this, this FOOLISHNESS!I'm not losing my babies, son to it as well!"

This nigga just doesn't know when to quit!I gotta handle this shit once and for all.."He's not even on the force he's been retired, I don't even understand why he's even poppin' back up! He doesn't even have a warrant he can't get one so what the fuck he want wit me and my niggas for? You ain't show him shit did you?"Marina turned but went back to sleep..

"Shhhh keep your voice down.."She rubbed Marina's back to keep her sleep.And all the while the other parts of the crib were quiet you could hear lint drop, it only made me wonder where Kai disappeared off to.."Of course I didn't show him anything, warrant or not that's my house. But that's besides the point you always saying how I don't ever answer my phone for you, the last time I answered the phone for your dad it wasn't him and I lost him and your uncle that quick."She said snapping.."All to the fast cash, y'alls generation is afraid of the struggle boy, it's what we come from what we made of."She said balling up her fist.."I don't want the next call I get to be that you're gone too, I just couldn't take it! You know what it's like to bury your own kids that you brought into this hell whole we're all given?"

"Grandma I..."

"SHUT UP! I ain't done talkin', now you listen to me and you listen good..I ain't stupid, I know you ain't get this here studio and record label off of y'all's good looks boy!All this here is Junkies Money!"

"Junkies Money?"I said tilting my head..

"You heard what I said! You out there dealing them damn drugs, I don't wanna hear who's who, or what's what!Only one thing coming out of this..Somebody if not all of you gone end up dead..Or in jail for LIFE!You still running around with Nutty and he's been around my house acting strange, I DON'T TRUST EM!Never had since y'all were kids.."

I tilted my head.."Nutty?! Fuck he doing at cha crib!?"

"Acting unusual, that's what!I started to call the authorities on his behind!"

"Can't be callin' 12, that's a big no no..Look grandma I have a plan but I gotta get this work out the way then once it's sold I'm going clean for good! I'm out the game!"I said making an X like motion with my hands..

"Oh boy HUSH! You don't think I've been down this road before?Witcha father's, father!Huh?Witcha father!There is NO REAL WAY OUT!So you go clean then there's always someone else out there playa hating on you and there it is. They go and try to take you out.. as untouchable as you may think you are, YA NOT!"She said getting up walking my way grabbing my face.."You need to repent with God and let all of this go.Hope he has mercy on your poor soul grandson..Now I'm here for you to do whatever but that retired detective or WHATEVER he wants to call himself is not letting up..And ever since he was forced to retire he's seeking revenge..Pure, blood, hate and evil in that there man's eyes..He wants you off this Earth just as much as he did with your father and uncle.."

I grabbed her hand..I respect my grandmother fully.I get where she's coming from, when so much death surrounds you it's impossible to see the good in a cluster of bad.But I had something by my side worth fighting for, Marina.And hopefully if I had anything to do with it, Kai.Throughout my grandmother's doubts, sorrow's and worries what she didn't realize was I was different..There's always a way out.."Grandma I need you to hear me and hear me good..This is the war I was born into and that I'm going to get out of..The nights I was left alone to fiend for myself when my mom would leave me abandoned and alone..I called for you and you still weren't there..I seen my pops and uncle more than I ever seen you and I might have seen them once a month.."She just watched me with heartache.."It's not your fault but I'm trying to tell you that I've put all that pain and hurt far behind me and I'm out of that funk..So what if I had to do my fair share of dirt to get out the mud..I can't change that but when Marina was born she was my reasoning.It was my way to make a way for her..And that's what you don't understand, I'm not my pops or his pops.. whoever it is that you knew you lost to this game..When it's my time than that's just how it was supposed to be, but I got years of life left..I know it, I can feel it!But I need you in my court, by my side!I need your faith and support!I need you to answer the phone when I call!I need you to trust me when I'm telling you there's a way out, we're all getting out and it'll be the coldest day in hell before I let it all go..Now I gotta finish moving these last bricks, that's the only way this is gonna work!But I need you, to continue to be in my corner.Whatever life I could've had is gone, no one was there to give me those ropes..But I figured this out on my own..All alone, and I don't wanna live that way anymore..So you gonna let fear keep you distant at the thought of you losing me?Or you gone stand by side knowing we'll come out on top.."

She blew out her nose.."Get on up from there and give me a hug boy!"She hugged me like she'd never hugged me before..My grandma wasn't too big on love and affection as far as showing it went..She bottled it all up.She only showed love for Marina..She grabbed my face looking up at me.."Hey look at me."She said wiping the tear before it even escaped."I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that with your momma.. and I'm so sorry I wasn't there to give you all the loving you need..But I'm here now!And I'll be here no matter what!"I nodded.."Alright well I ain't come here for you I came here for my grandbaby get her stuff packed!"

"Man ya'll ain't gonna keep comin' to steal my daughter!"I said shooing her off..

"YOUBETGOPACKTHEMCLOTHESRIGHTNA!"She said through her teeth all in one word..

"Man that's what I'm talkin' bout, ya ain't gone keep comin' at me crazy.."I said stomping up the stairs.."DON'T BRING HER BACK SMELLIN' LIKE PORK CHOPS AND MOTHBALLS EITHER!"

"BOYYOUBETTAGETGONE!"She said as I ran to go get her things that were already prepacked from all the events that's been going on..I got them and came back down..I picked her up.."What you doing NA?"

"Dang can I get her ready atleast?"

"No! Everything she needs I got at my house, THANK YOU! Na gone on and put them fuzzy house shoes on her feet and walk us to the car.."

I had Marina laid on my shoulder on my left and all her things in my right hand as I walked them both to the car..She finally woke up.."Daddy what.."She looked up.."GG MAMA FLY!"

My grandma laughed.."Hey there baby.."

"I goin wit you GG Mama?"

"Yes you ready to have fun?"

"YES! I miss you, can we go to bingo night a cuzz dat was fun!"Marina said with her hands up..

My grandma laughed.."We can do whatever your little heart desires baby.."

"Okay..Now daddy you be good!You have to behave daddy!"She said shaking her little finger my way..

"I'm always a good daddy!"I said extending my arms.."You need to be a good daughter, you stay ready to leave me all day long son.."

"Daddy don't talk you Harlem slang to me, now you go be nice to Kai okay Daddy!"She said reaching out to window shaking my face and giving me a kiss..

"I'll try."I said tickling her and buckling her back up..

"Kai?"My grandma mouthed to me with her hands on her hip..

"I'll explain later."I mouthed back as she nodded.."Alright baby girl be good and call me when you get to G Mama's okay.."She nodded..

"Don't worry we'll be fine! I'll call you soon as we get there.."I nodded and gave my baby girl one more kiss before they pulled off..

I made my way back in the crib.."Alright SCRUB! She's gone you can come on out!"I laughed looking around..Oh she wants to play, PLAY!"AYE GIRL, WHERE YOU AT?"I shook my head turning on Jay-Z and Beyoncé.."FINE I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!"But still even that didn't work..I turned off the TV and sat down confused...There was a note on the coffee table..Joshua for you and Marina's protection you won't be seeing me for a while.But while I'm away wherever life takes you just trust when I say you'll always be protected and never have to worry.You gotta know that I have to do this, so don't try to find me or contact me for Marina's sake, okay..I can only hope that when I fully need saving you'll still be there for me.                Yours Truly

Too.Be..Continued...