Chapter 14

There are many things that I would like to say to you

But I don't have the words in my head

Days are passing by and the leaves are changing too

But time won't change the things unsaid

~*~*~*~*~*~

Friday, November 11, 2019.

@JulesMorrison: Press day for If You Love Someone today with @HenryCavill and @ScottTayler, and then premiere tonight. I'm so excited for y'all to see it!!!

It was a very cheery tweet. I was not feeling very cheery. In fact, I was scared as hell, for multiple reasons. I'd be seeing Henry again for the first time since the wrap party and since... well, since he'd gotten back together with Alyssa. We hadn't spoken at all—no calls, no texts, not even tweets—so I had no idea what to expect from him. Would he be annoyed at having to spend time with me again? I just didn't know, and that killed me.

And then there was the matter of all the other stuff. What if people didn't like the movie? What if people just dismissed it, like so many other romantic comedies were? What if people did like the movie, but hated me? I knew it was irrational to think that way, but my own anxiety and recently Vince's verbal abuse made it really difficult for me to change that mindset. While I was still filming If you Love Someone, Henry had actually come a pretty long way in lightening up my anxiety, but then we wrapped and I fell back into old patterns. And what if I messed up one or more of my interviews? In this digital age, it would haunt me forever.

"I don't think I can do this, Han..." I muttered as I paced around the dressing room for a morning show I'd be on together with Henry and Scott.

"What part exactly are you referring to?"

"All of it. Everything. Seeing Henry again, being on TV—for millions to see—being asked questions I might not want to give the answers to... I'm not cut out for this."

"Of course you are. All those little voices in your head that are trying to tell you that you can't right now? That's just your anxiety talking. And you might not feel like it—especially lately, where everything's been more difficult than usual—but you are stronger than it. I'll keep telling you this until you actually believe it yourself: You can do anything you set your mind to. You are Juliette fucking Morrison and you are strong, you are beautiful, you are smart, you are kind, and you're the best human being I know. When Henry shows up, you're gonna make him fucking sorry for getting back together with Alyssa instead of manning up and asking you out on a fucking date. And then you're gonna go out there and make America fall in love with you, because they won't have another choice once they get to know you."

I gave her a tight hug. "I hope to someday have as much faith in myself as you do in me."

Hanna gave me a sad smile. "I hope so too."

There was a knock on the door, and once I'd given permission to enter, Ella walked in. "Oh, you gorgeous ladies, I missed you two. Come give me some love."

"Ella!" I grinned and ran over to her, hugging her. I'd missed her more than I could've imagined. I missed her wisdom, her jokes, her motherly instinct, and her makeup skills. The makeup artists at the movie I was currently working on with Vince simply weren't as good as her. "I've missed you."

"Oh, I've missed you, too, dearie." I smiled at the use of her old nickname for me. I'd missed hearing that, too. "And Hanna, still as gorgeous as ever as well, I see."

"It's nice to see you again, Ella," Hanna said warmly, stepping up to her to give her a hug.

"So, dearie, tell me, how are you?"

If it had been any other person asking, I would've just said 'fine,' but I had a feeling Ella would've seen straight through the lie. "Not that good. Things have been... different since we finished If You Love Someone."

"Different how?" she asked, her brow furrowing in concern. "Have you not been able to book a new movie?'

"No, no, I have, it's just... The director is kind of an asshole."

Hanna scoffed. "Asshole is an understatement. He's a fucking abusive piece of trash—I'm sorry for my language, Ella, but that guy warrants it. He said, and I quote, 'You look like shit, Juliette. No wonder Henry Cavill chose that model over you. Think she can act? Then maybe I can choose her over you, too.'"

Ella nearly swelled up with rage. "He did not."

I sighed, the memory of him saying it still fresh in my mind, even though it was already almost a month ago. "He did. He's not really the nicest guy in the world."

"No shit," Hanna spat. "When she told me he'd said that, I nearly went to Keegan's brother to ask for one of his swords myself and chop his fucking head off. Only Juliette stopped me—or my impulse control, as I often call her. Had I been drunk, I actually might've gone through with it."

I snorted. It was probably true. Hanna always had the craziest ideas when she was drunk, and would always be convinced they were the best ideas ever, no matter how potentially lethal.

"So your friend wasn't lying about the swords?" Ella asked, a little timidly. "His brother actually owns swords?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He has multiple swords from different eras hanging from his wall. He's kind of a history buff."

"Wow. That's... wow. But if he says something extremely disgusting like that again, I might just ask to borrow one of them as well." She shook her head, obviously fuming. "Fucking asshole."

My eyes widened at her use of profanity. I'd never heard her cuss before, let alone drop an F-bomb. "Ella, it's okay. I prom—"

"No, it's not okay," Ella interrupted me hotly. "For as long as I've known you, you've struggled to love yourself for who you are, and you were getting better and better at it throughout filming If You Love Someone. And now he comes and screws it up. If I ever meet him, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind, even if the two of you aren't in contact anymore by the time I do. What he's doing to you is not okay, and it never will be. Now, let's get on to doing your makeup and hair, before I develop a spontaneous ulcer."

I nodded and sat down in front of the mirror, afraid to say anything else on the matter for fear of setting her off on another tirade. Ella worked as fast and efficiently as she could, her anger apparently giving her even more motivation to make me look my best. I watched in the mirror as she transformed me from looking like a tired, over-worked, stressed soccer mom to a beautiful young actress who was about to go on her first big talk show. My hair hung to my waist in straight, silky strands, the rising sun making the brown look like dark gold. My makeup was simple and made me look much more awake than I felt. She'd used some bronze tints in my eye shadow that made my eyes seem even greener.

I stood up and gave her a hug. "Thanks, Ella. You're a miracle worker, as always."

"Also as always, you don't give yourself enough credit. Great makeup hinges on how great my canvas is."

There was another knock on the door, and Hanna yelled, "Come in! Unless you're a psychopath, then please don't."

I shot her a smile, grateful once again that she was here to help me through it all.

The door opened and Henry and Scott walked in, and my nerves hit me like a freight train. I wasn't ready to see him again. How was he so beautiful? How could he still speed up my heartbeat when I knew he wasn't into me? I wanted to get out of here. I couldn't do this.

"I can assure you," Henry started, "that I'm not a psychopath. I'm not so sure about Scott, however."

Hanna crossed her arms in front of her chest, her eyes narrowing. "Seems like something a psychopath would say." Only I noticed that at least part of the hostility and distrust in her voice hadn't been faked.

Henry, however, just laughed. "It's nice to see you again, Hanna."

He turned to me then, and it was like the world stopped. There was only the blue and brown of his eyes as we stared at each other. The ache in my chest was nearly dizzying, and yet... And yet I was so unbelievably happy. I guess part of me really had thought I'd never see him again. I'd been nervous about this moment, sure, but it hadn't been real until he was standing right here in front of me. And, oh, he was so gorgeous. He made my heart hurt. He was wearing skinny jeans, a white button down with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows, and his curly hair was untouched—just how I liked it, and he knew it. In fact, he also knew I liked skinny jeans on him, and I believed I'd mentioned I like button downs with the sleeves rolled up on guys too at some point. Had he remembered that and purposely styled himself that way, or was it all just a big coincidence? The whole thing was making my head hurt.

"Juliette," he finally breathed, making the world start to turn again. "It's nice to see you again."

I cleared my throat. "Uh, yeah. It's nice to see you again, too, Henry. You too, Scott."

Scott smiled, tearing his eyes away from Hanna, and stepped toward me to give me a hug. "It's definitely nice to see you again, too."

Henry, probably realizing it would be weird now if we wouldn't hug as well, wrapped his arms around me, and if I thought the ache in my heart was bad before, the pain I felt now was crippling. I wrapped my arms around his waist in an automatic response, but I wanted to run as far away from him as I could. But at the same time, I wanted to cling to him and never ever let him go. I wanted to tell him how painful the past few months had been. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him.

I eventually found the strength to step back and turned to Hanna, but found her tangled up in an animated conversation with Scott. I belatedly realized she'd been texting Scott a lot. He'd sent her a text right after I'd given him her number, and they had—unlike Henry and myself—stayed in touch. She'd been excited to see him again, but I'd been so caught up in seeing the man I couldn't get out of my head again after months of radio silence that I'd completely forgotten about her and Scott. I didn't have much to worry about, though, because they seemed to get along just fine, big smiles on their faces.

"Well, seeing as our lover boy's currently occupied, let me do you first, Henry," Ella said, saving us both from a very awkward silence.

Henry's head snapped up in surprise. He'd been staring at me, and I think Ella's words didn't quite register until at least a moment later. "Yes, of course."

He sat down in the makeup chair as I sat down on the couch, grabbing my phone to scroll through my Twitter feed for lack of something better to do, but I kept feeling Henry's eyes on me through the mirror. I didn't know if I was just imagining it and kept fighting the urge to check. But eventually the urge was just too strong and it won out. I glanced up and when my eyes connected with Henry's, I felt a familiar electric current run through my blood. It had always been there whenever we looked at each other, but now it seemed stronger. I didn't know whether that was because it had been so long ago, or because it really had intensified. Either way, it kept our gazes locked for a solid minute, before a buzz from my phone finally made me look away:

I love you so much, babe, and remember that you're stronger than you think. Even if you don't think so, you CAN do this.

The text from Keegan made me smile. His out-of-the-blue declarations of support always did. They always made me feel a little more confident, and he always seemed to send them at times where I really needed them. My phone buzzed again with a tweet from him:

@KeegsBear: Sitting on the couch with @GingerRiss, @ColinDraws and @CynthiaTriggs, ready to watch our beautiful girl @JulesMorrison on TV in an hour.

I retweeted and favorited it with a smile, and laughed when Braeden responded to Keegan's tweet:

@braedengoddard: @KeegsBear Fuck, that was today? JK, waiting for it with @bullshaye, @RyleysAfro and @AlfieAteABerry now. Go kick some ass, @JulesMorrison!

I retweeted and favorited that one too before placing my own tweet:

@JulesMorrison: I have the best friends in the whole world. Love y'all so much!!

The only good thing about Henry getting back together with Alyssa had been that my follower count had skyrocketed. People were probably hoping for me to have an online breakdown about it, but I wasn't about to give them that satisfaction. But even though I wasn't exactly giving them what they wanted, activity on my account had doubled. I had more retweets, favorites and mentions than before, and I always tried to respond to as many people as possible. I filled the rest of the time by responding to people wishing me luck, just so I could avoid Henry's strong, piercing gaze.

"What are you doing? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Henry said when he noticed me jump. I hadn't even realized he was done in makeup and had come to sit next to me.

"It's okay. It's not your fault; I've been feeling kind of anxious today. First major TV appearance and all. But I'm just replying to people on Twitter. A lot of them are really sweet and wishing me good luck."

"Oh, that's nice. Any odd ones in there? I know I get plenty of those."

I couldn't help but laugh, even despite Henry having thrown my emotions in a blender in the past few months. "There have been a few, yeah. What I'm getting most right now, though, is a request for a selfie with you."

"Well, let's give them what they want."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Really?"

"Yeah, sure. Seeing you again after much too long has put me in a good mood."

My body didn't quite know how to react to that statement. There were butterflies, heart palpitations and sweaty hands—the works. He shouldn't be saying things like that, not when I'm trying to get over him. "Well, okay then." I opened my front camera and Henry wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me closer, even though that wasn't necessary because we were already sitting quite closely together on the couch. The close contact was sending the butterflies in my stomach in an even bigger frenzy. I tried to force the panic down as Henry and I both smiled for the camera. I snapped the picture and scooted away from him a little, thinking some distance might be best.

But Henry just scooted closer again to examine the picture we'd taken. "We look cute together," he said jokingly, nudging my shoulder with his.

I nearly wanted to cry. I wanted to shout at him to stop saying stuff like that. Instead, I smiled at him. "Yeah," I managed. I was proud of myself for not letting my voice shake. "We do." And I had to be honest: We actually really did. We both had big smiles on our faces (his smile was painfully beautiful), and our eyes were shining. I managed to tear my eyes away and opened Instagram to post the picture:

@JulesMorrison: Getting excited for our first interview with @HenryCavill. As usual, @ScottTayler is still trying to get pretty.

Henry laughed when he read that last bit. "Is it okay if I repost the picture from you?"

I blinked. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

@HenryCavill: Backstage with the gorgeous @JulesMorrison. Go follow her and give her some love for me.

I blushed when I saw what he'd written. His mixed signals were driving me insane. I knew he was back with Alyssa, but would he really be doing things like this if he wasn't into me? I needed answers, but was, as always, too afraid to ask the questions. I looked up at him and saw he was smiling brightly at me. It made my stomach do that thing you feel when you're in a roller coaster, or when you just missed the bottom step of the stairs.

"So, um, how are things with..." I hesitated. I wanted to ask him about him and Alyssa, but chickened out at the last minute. I just couldn't do it. I had to save myself from as much pain as I could. I wasn't sure if I could handle hearing him talk about how happy he was with her. "How are things with Kal? I miss my buddy."

"So do I," Henry confessed. "Kal is in Jersey right now, with my parents. I sadly can't bring him on the press tour, so I had no other choice. But he was doing great the last time I saw him."

"You know, I was thinking about getting a dog myself, and that is the only thing I'm really worried about. Of course, Hanna will be able to take care of him or her when I'm not there, but it still seems difficult. Having to leave your dog for longer periods of time."

"It is hard, yes, but it gets easier when you know your dog is with someone you trust to take care of them well. And it's completely worth it, even if you don't have them all of the time."

I gave him a small smile. "I'll think about it."

"And let me guess," Henry started. "If you were to get one, it would be a Retriever of some sorts?"

I smiled, my heart racing in my chest. "You remembered..."

"Of course I did," he said, smiling back at me. "And a Retriever would fit you. Anyway, what are you up to now? Got a new project?"

"Uh, I did actually. I'm filming a thriller, directed by Vince Grieve."

Henry grimaced. "I've heard he can be a bit of an asshole."

I let out a harsh, humorless laugh. "You have no idea."

There was a short knock on the door and a P.A. entered the room. "They're ready for you."

Everything was kind of a blur after that. We were led into the studio, where we met the hosts of the show, Stacy Floyd and Jack Carney. They were nice enough, but their interest was more aimed at Henry, as was expected. And then the show began in earnest.

After Stacy and Jack had introduced us to everyone watching, the cameras turned on us. Stacy smiled. "Now, you guys, I've got to tell you: I cannot wait to see this movie. Let's take a look at the trailer, shall we?"

We turned to a small screen in front of us, and the trailer started playing. I had seen it only once; I loved acting, but I never liked seeing myself act much. It probably had something to do with my low self-esteem. What made it even worse were the two kisses they'd included in the trailer—one with Scott and one with Henry. The one with Scott was weird mostly because I knew Hanna was interested in him, and it must be weird for her to see her best friend kiss the guy she liked. But the one with Henry... It was one thing to actually kiss him, to feel his lips on mine and to feel my heartbeat speed up at his proximity, to have him make my head spin—but to actually see the two of us wrapped in each other's arms, kissing like it was our last day on earth... I didn't want to sound cocky or anything, but we actually looked like we... belonged. We looked good together.

When the trailer finished playing, Jack turned to us with a smile. "So, it looks pretty intense, huh?"

"Yeah," Scott said. "It's a pretty wild ride. I think what makes this movie special, though, is that it's equal parts of everything. You know, there's the romance, the drama, the comedy... But what I love most about it is that it sticks so closely to Amelia, Juliette's character, and her trying to figure out who she is and what she wants out of life."

"Really? Tell us a little more about what that was like, Juliette," Stacy said.

"It was interesting. You know, this was my first big production movie, and I wasn't really used to doing so many takes for one scene, and then there were days where I was just crying nonstop for a scene, and that's hard, because while you're filming, you're kind of drowning in that mindset. But at the end of the day, even despite the dehydration and headache from crying so much," I joked, "it really was quite satisfactory."

"So, Henry, tell me how that was, working with Juliette," Jack said. "Because, as she said, she is quite new to the whole acting thing, and you already have quite a few years on your résumé. Did that... interfere with how you did your job?"

"Not in that way, no," Henry said. "Juliette is..." He looked at me as he searched for words, and I waited with bated breath, trying not to drown in the blue of his eyes. "She is such an amazing actress. Quite possibly one of the best I've ever worked with. There were times where I would just look at her as she was saying her lines and forget that I was supposed to be saying mine, too. I was just too busy looking at her."

I was fairly certain my whole head was bright red. That was one of the biggest compliments he'd ever given me, and probably also the one that held the most weight with me. Especially now, when I was so used to hearing time and time again that I was a terrible actress. I nearly wanted to cry.

Scott nodded. "I agree. She's phenomenal. She really carried this movie, in my personal opinion."

"She really did," Henry agreed.

"Guys..." I complained, covering my eyes with my hand. "You're making me blush."

Henry laughed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. He pulled me a little closer as he said, "What? You know it's true, Jules." He gave me a look that made me realize that he knew that I didn't know it, however, and that he hated it.

When he'd unwrapped his arm from me again, Stacy turned to me. "So, I saw some pretty steamy kisses in that trailer, Juliette."

I blushed, already having a feeling where this was going. "I suppose so, yes."

"Who's the better kisser of the two?"

I blushed again as I tried to laugh good-naturedly. "You can't possibly ask me that question; they're both sitting right next to me!" I looked at both of them, and though I knew my answer, I also knew I couldn't possibly say it aloud. "There is no answer to that question that won't get me in trouble."

Henry raised an eyebrow at me, smirking. "So you do think one of us is better than the other?"

I pointed my finger at him. "Don't you go putting words in my mouth, Mr. Cavill."

Scott wiggled his eyebrows at Henry, making the two men bust out in laughter.

I sank down in my seat. "Oh, God..."

Stacy saved the day. "So, have any of you seen the movie already?"

We all nodded. When I'd gotten it, I hadn't wanted to watch it at first. I was curious, sure, but I could never concentrate on whatever I was watching if I was in it. I was too busy critiquing my own performance, coming up with ways I could've been better in my head. But Hanna had figured out I'd gotten the movie from Ryan and rounded up all of my friends, forcing me to watch it with them. They'd all loved it and said I'd been great in it, but the experience had been uncomfortable for me—to say the least.

"How does that work?" Jack asked. "Like, how do you get the movie?"

"Actually, that's a pretty funny story," I said. "Apparently Ryan—the director—is very secretive about it all, so he mailed it in an unmarked parcel. It had no return address, just my own, and I remember just looking at it and asking my best friend—who lives with me—if she'd ordered anything. She hadn't, so I was really starting to get suspicious, you know? Eventually my friend was getting sick of my hesitation and just ripped the package open, and out fell a flash drive. Just a flash drive, no explanation or anything. At that point I was just, 'What do I do? Do I put it in my computer? What if it's a virus or something?' And again, my friend had enough of me and just stuck the flash drive into her computer, and all that was on it was an unmarked video file. Then after another five minutes of me freaking out, she finally clicked play and it turned out to be the movie."

Stacy laughed. "Does it always work like that? It seems pretty stressful to me."

Henry shook his head. "No, it doesn't. That's actually just Ryan and his paranoid ways," he joked. "He was actually supposed to call her to say that it was coming, but I guess he forgot."

"Actually," I said, "he did call me, but we were so busy catching up that he must've forgotten to tell me."

Scott chuckled. "Typical Ryan."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Dude, I don't know what the fuck is up with him, but I kind of really want to punch him."

I turned to my best friend in surprise at her sudden declaration. I was sitting in the back of an SUV on the way to a photo shoot together with Hanna and Ella, and it had been pretty quiet so far. "Who, Scott?"

Hanna shook her head. "No, not Scott. Henry. He's been giving you lovey-dovey puppy dog eyes as if nothing's changed; as if he didn't get back together with Alyssa. And quite frankly, it's pissing me the fuck off. He has no right to give you mixed signals like that."

"So you noticed it too? I thought I was just imagining things."

"Oh, you weren't, dearie," Ella said. "I noticed it as well. And I honestly think everyone who saw the show this morning noticed it too."

I groaned. "Oh, no... You don't suppose I have to worry about an angry, jealous Alyssa too now, huh? Guys, I can't handle another Michelle."

"She'll have to go through me first," Hanna said fiercely. "And besides, there's no reason the two of you should ever meet, so you have nothing to worry about."

"But what if she's at the premiere tonight?" I asked with wide eyes. "It would make sense for him to invite his girlfriend to the premiere of his movie."

"She's doing a show in Milan," Hanna reassured me. "I checked."

I gave her a weird look at that, but then shook my head. "I don't really want to talk about it anymore. It's already making my head hurt enough as it is. Let's talk about you and Scott instead."

The smile that took over her face made me smile as well. She was usually quite a happy, positive person, but seeing her truly happy lifted up my spirits, too. It was about time she met a guy that made her happy. "It was really, really nice to see him again. There was that spark, back in Miami, you know? But then we started texting a lot and I really got to know him, and then when I saw him today... that spark was like a fire."

I smiled. "I'm so happy for you, Han."

A shy smile pulled up the corners of her mouth, taking me by surprise. She was hardly ever shy. "So am I. He promised me we'd go on a date as soon as the American press tour is over. He'll have time for me then because he won't be coming with you to Europe."

"Oh my gosh!" I squealed, grinning. "Ugh, I hate that I won't be able to be there for it."

And I hated that I couldn't be as happy for her as I wanted to be. Not with my own messy love life dragging my every mood down.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"All right, Henry, just wrap your arms around her waist prom-style."

I hated how my heartbeat automatically sped up as his arms slid around my waist and pulled me close to his chest, his hands resting on my stomach. His scent was intoxicating and the feeling of his arms around me was magical. I didn't even realize what I was doing until my head was already resting on his shoulder. He smiled down at me and tightened his hold on me.

"All right, now turn to each other and Henry, you put your hand on her cheek, and Juliette, you put your hands on his chest."

We did as we were told. I felt that familiar spark as Henry's hand came to a rest on my cheek, his fingers dipping into my hairline. I studied his eyes as he stared back at me. I'd forgotten how extremely blue they were, and how much I loved the brown flecks in his iris. His eyelashes were impossibly long and thick.

Our lips were so incredibly close. All I'd have to do was stand up on my tiptoes and I'd be kissing him. And, oh, I wanted to. It was like I'd been out in the desert all these months we'd been apart, and he was the only bit of water in sight. But he was just out of reach.

"All right, thank you, very good! Now let's get Scott in there and do a couple more group shots, and then we'll be done here."

When we finished up the shoot, we all grabbed our stuff and prepared to leave. Henry and I were the last ones, and before I could walk out the door, he stopped me. "So I'll see you at the premiere tonight?"

I smiled up at him, feeling my heartbeat speed up for the millionth time that day. This was the first time we'd been alone together in a really long time. "Yes, of course."

He smiled back at me. "Good." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek, his soft lips lingering there for a long moment. I forgot how to breathe until he pulled back again. With another smile, he gestured for me to go through the door first, and I climbed into the SUV, where Ella and Hanna were already waiting for me.

My cheek tingled the entire way home.

When we got to my house, it was time for a quick takeout dinner and to get ready for tonight's premiere. While we were, my friends slowly started trickling in one by one. I'd invited them all to come to the premiere with me and taken them out shopping for dresses and suits a while ago. It was chaos as everyone got ready all throughout the house I shared with Hanna, but at the same time it was incredibly comforting to have them here with me. It made having to deal with gearing up for my first ever big premiere much easier. It also temporarily made me forget about Henry and all that had happened between us today and before.

Shaye gasped when she saw me. "Oh my God, Juliette, you look gorgeous! Is that a Marchesa?"

I looked down at my dress. It was a tulle gown with a deep V-neckline and was embellished with golden embroidery over the chest, stomach and back. I loved it. "Yeah, it is."

"Matched with golden Christian Louboutins," she said appreciatively, shaking her head. "Girl, you are moving up in the world! And let me guess, all that golden jewelry you got going on is from Tiffany's?" she joked.

"Actually... yeah, it is." I trailed my fingers over the cuff adorned with leaves on my wrist. This was the most expensive outfit I'd ever worn, and I wasn't entirely comfortable wearing it. I never once in my life had imagined I ever would.

"You really do look gorgeous, little sis," Keegan said as he stepped forward and took my hands in his. "You look like some Greek warrior princess."

"And your hair," Klarissa murmured, her eyes wide. Ella had braided a headband out of my own hair, and curled the loose strands. "It looks amazing."

"I could do your hair, too," Ella said, smiling as she looked at Klarissa's wavy ginger hair. It fell a little past her shoulders but was much thicker than mine. "We still have time."

"Would you really do that?"

"Yeah, of course!" Ella said cheerfully, gesturing for Klarissa to sit down in the chair I'd been sitting in before. "Any friend of Juliette's is a friend of mine, and I always make sure my friends go to premieres looking their absolute best."

As Ella started combing her fingers through Klarissa's hair, my other friends fawned over me, making sure to tell me how good they thought I looked.

Braeden whistled as he gave me a once-over. "Damn, Jules. I might have to leave Shaye for you."

"If you do that, I'll beat you into the afterlife myself," Shaye threatened.

"I'll help," I grinned.

"You really do look amazing, Juliette," Alfie said, his eyes wide. He smiled. "You fit into this life, more than I ever could have imagined. Expensive looks good on you," he joked. "But for real, though, I'm really happy you made it this far. I'm proud of you."

"Yeah, same, Jules," Ryley said, in a very rare moment of inhibition. He had a very chaotic and all-over-the-place personality, so this was unusual for him. "I'm proud of where you are now, and you're gonna get so much further, I just know it."

"You deserve every bit of success, Julie," Colin added.

I smiled. "Thanks, guys. That really means a lot."

Once everyone was ready and looking glamorous (our motley group had never looked so good), we piled into the luxury cars Ryan had arranged to come pick us up. As soon as we were driving and nearing the ArcLight theater, I felt the nerves come back. I was sharing a car with Hanna, Keegan and Klarissa, which might not have been a smart choice. Klarissa was usually pretty quiet and Hanna and Keegan knew me too well, so they were being quiet too. I really could've done with some of Ryley and Braeden's chaos.

"Are you ready for your big night?" Hanna asked.

"No," I squeaked.

She squeezed my arm. "It's going to be okay. Look, I know anxiety is a fucking bitch, and it's been kicking your ass especially hard lately. And that red carpet is going to be chaotic, paparazzi shouting at you to look their way or to answer their questions, flashes going off in your face the entire time. That's not exactly the best possible situation for someone with anxiety. But I have always firmly believed that you are stronger than your anxiety. You are so incredibly strong, and it beats me up that you don't realize it yourself. But I also firmly believe that one day you will."

I smiled at her, trying my hardest not to cry for fear of ruining the makeup Ella had worked so hard on. "I love you. I don't tell you this enough, but I love you."

"I love you, too, babe. And so do Keegs and Riss." Both Keegan and Klarissa nodded avidly. "And Colin. And Cynthia. And Shaye. And Braeden. And Alfie. And Ryley."

I laughed. "All right, all right, I get it."

"Good. Because we're here."

We got out of the car, and it was chaos immediately. There were fans and paparazzi everywhere, and as my friends hung back a little, I did my mandatory interviews and even signed a few autographs for the people on the other side of the fences—something I never thought I would do. Then once I was done with that, I joined my friends again. "What about a few group pictures, huh?"

"Oh, God," Cynthia muttered. "Does that mean my face'll be on gossip sites and stuff?"

I laughed. "Possibly. Then I can finally text you a link and completely freak out," I teased.

"I say we do it," Ryley said, grinning as he wrapped an arm around Hanna and Cynthia each.

We laughed as the ten of us posed for the cameras, our arms wrapped around each other. It was the most fun we'd ever had outside one of our usual parties. Even those of us who were usually shy and quiet loosened up, acting sillier than usual. Colin jokingly kissed my cheek and I kissed his right back.

Suddenly the screaming intensified, and I looked around in surprise. I didn't have to look long. It was like my eyes were attracted to him like a magnet, and they landed on him within seconds. Henry was climbing out of an SUV, looking amazing in a black suit, black dress shirt and black tie. Even from afar, he looked drool-worthy.

The paparazzi were screaming at me to pose solo again, so I shook myself out of my trance and apologized to my friends. They assured me it was fine and everyone broke apart. Hanna gave me a reassuring squeeze of my arm and a kiss on my cheek before she left me.

I posed for pictures awhile, making sure to keep smiling, knowing all they needed was one frame to make me look ridiculous, but I kept feeling him come closer and closer to me. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, so I turned to my left, and stood face to face with Henry. He looked... amazing. He literally took my breath away; I'd forgotten how to breathe. And there was an enraptured look in his eyes as he stared at me that made it even harder to breathe. Everything about the look on his face screamed that he was into me, but when I remembered that he was with Alyssa, nothing made sense anymore.

"Wow, Juliette, you look..." Henry's voice was hoarse, and he shook his head. "You look like a goddess. I feel like..." He trailed off, his hand reaching out to take hold of the tulle of my dress.

"Like what?" I mumbled breathlessly.

"Like I should be worshipping you."

"Don't..." I wanted to tell him not to say stuff like that to me, but my words were drowned out by the paparazzi.

"Henry! Juliette! Smile for the camera please!"

Henry wrapped his arm around my waist. "Ready to do this?"

I bit my lip. "I'm not sure," I whispered.

He tightened his hold on me, pulling me a little closer. "But I am. You can do this. I believe in you."

And oddly, as Henry smiled down at me, that did make me feel a little bit better.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The lyrics at the start of the chapter are Rewind by Diane Birch.

Don't forget to vote⭐️ and comment💬!