Chapter 7

The sane and insane rivalry

Paranoia's brought me to my knees

Lord please, please, please

Take away my anxiety

~*~*~*~*~*~

Thursday, May 12, 2019.

The days passed by quickly in Miami, and Henry and I grew closer and closer together—but we never talked about those kisses. Not that it was really something we had to talk about, seeing as it was only a scene we'd done together, but I found it was the one constant thing on my mind. I kept wanting to kiss him again, and sometimes I found myself staring at his lips. But if he caught me staring, he never said anything about it. I had also looked at the picture we'd taken at the beach—the one where he's kissing my cheek—so often that I could now visualize it perfectly. It was getting out of hand, really.

Which was why it was a good thing that today my family and best friend would come to visit. I hadn't seen my family in literally months, and I missed them terribly. I hadn't seen Hanna in four weeks, but I missed her just as much. She would be coming sooner, seeing as her flight from Los Angeles landed earlier than my family's flight from Newark, New Jersey.

I had just wrapped up an (extremely) early morning scene and was getting ready for having a few hours off when I heard her.

"JULIE!" Hanna yelled, and she ran at me, her arms already outstretched for a hug, leaving an amused-looking Natascha behind.

I was just in time to open my arms too before she slammed into me, nearly knocking me over. "Oh my God, Hanna, I missed you so much!"

"I missed you, too!" she squealed, rocking me from side to side so violently that I nearly fell over again. "Oh my gosh, we have so much catching up to do, it's not even funny. Like, for real."

"Hey, Hanna," a deep voice said from behind me. "Long time no see."

Hanna managed to pull away from me and smiled at Henry. "Hey, Henry. Long time no see indeed. I just figured it was time to steal my bestie back for a bit. You can't keep hogging her all the time, you know." She actually had the audacity to wink at him.

Henry laughed. "Aww, that's too bad. I'm not really a sharing kind of person."

"Don't you have like a trillion brothers?" she asked. "Must've been fun growing up if you don't like sharing."

Henry just shook his head, smiling. "It's nice to see you again, Hanna." Turning to me, he said, "You did really good out there today, Juliette. As always."

I smiled, trying my damnedest to fight a blush. "Thanks, Henry. So did you, by the way."

"I'll let you two catch up. I'll be in my trailer if you need anything, okay?"

He left, and as soon as he was out of earshot, Hanna turned to me, squealing. "Oh my God! You guys are even worse than you were at the mall when we were getting Colly's birthday presents. Could you two stare at each other any more obviously?"

My eyes widened. "I stare at him in an obvious way?"

"Well, for me it's obvious, but I've known you for more than twenty years. But now I'm even surer: He's into you. Big time."

As we headed to my trailer, I shook my head. "Wouldn't he have made a move already if he really was into me? I mean, we kissed more than a dozen times for that scene, and he never even mentioned it once. Am I really that bad a kisser?"

"I'm sure it's not your kissing skills slowing him down, babe," Hanna said, and she sounded so certain I nearly believed her. "Maybe he's just waiting until you've finished filming. Maybe he thinks that's the professional way to go about it. Or maybe he's just shy and scared to make the first move himself."

I sighed. "Why is falling for someone and not knowing if they feel the same way so goddamn hard?"

"I don't know, baby," Hanna said, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me closer. "But it'll all work itself out, you'll see."

"See what? Because right now all I'm seeing is two gorgeous ladies coming my way."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Hey, Scott. This is Hanna, my best friend. Han, this is Scott Tayler, who plays Ambrose."

"Ah, so you play the asshole boyfriend, huh?" Hanna asked with a smirk.

Scott copied her smirk. "I'm not an asshole boyfriend in real life, I promise. Wanna find that out for yourself?"

Hanna laughed. "Smooth. But I'm good, thanks. Maybe later, when I'm not busy catching up with my bestie."

"I'll hold you to that," Scott said, winking. "So I'll leave you two alone now to catch up. I'll be in my trailer when you're done." With another wink and devil-may-care grin, he walked off.

Once he was gone, I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't believe you flirt so incredibly easily, and my way of flirting is literally bumping into someone completely on accident and dropping my shit everywhere."

"You mean back at Barnes & Noble two months ago? Who said that was accidental? Maybe Henry saw you and decided to bump into you on purpose but just made it look like an accident. Either way, why didn't you tell me there was another hottie working on this film?"

I shrugged. "He's not really my type, so I figured it wouldn't be worth sharing."

"Yeah, but he's my type. I mean, help a sister out!"

I laughed and gave her a shake of my head. "You're right, I'm sorry. Want me to set the two of you up?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Hm... No. I really wasn't kidding about wanting to catch up with you first." We stepped into my trailer, and she let herself fall down on the couch. "I need to know everything that happened between you and Henry. And I do mean everything, even the things you've already told me. I want to hear it in person."

Who was I refuse my best friend, right? So I told her everything, from how good a kisser he was to how he made me feel every time he as much as looked at me. When I told her about the time he caught me when I fell, she fanned herself with her hands. "Swoon! And you never thought your clumsiness could ever work in your favor," she teased.

"I admit, it was nice to have fallen at exactly that moment, but if he hadn't been so quick, I'd have had a face full of metal stairs."

Hanna winced. "Ouch. It's a good thing he was there then. He did graze your boob, though, right?"

"Hanna!" I chastised, laughing. "No, he didn't. He's a gentleman, remember? He grabbed me around my waist."

Sighing, she said, "Too bad... Oh well, the boob grazing will commence soon enough. When's your sex scene?"

I could feel myself turn bright red. "Don't you dare even remind me of that. It's next week, and I'd rather not think about it until I actually have to."

"But how can you not think about it, though? You'll be nearly naked with Henry, closely pressed together, making out, pretending you're having sex... I mean, come on!"

"Exactly! Which is why I don't want to think about it. It'll drive me nuts otherwise. I don't really wanna talk about me and Henry anymore anyway. How are things on the home front?"

Hanna grimaced. "I'd really rather not have to tell you this, but... Harvey's in the hospital. He had a heart attack."

I gasped, my eyes widening. Harvey was my boss up until a month ago, when I was still working that waitressing job at his restaurant. He was somewhere in his sixties, always very kind and always up for a joke. He treated his employees well, and that restaurant was his life. It must be killing him (really bad choice of words, Juliette) to not be able to work now that he was in the hospital. "Oh my God, will he be okay?"

"The doctors say he will be, just as long as he takes it easy and keeps taking his meds. But you know Harvey. He wanted to go back to work as soon as it happened."

I shook my head. "Dammit, Harvey... I'll call him later. It's still too early in Los Angeles. He might be a hard worker, but you know how much he loves to sleep in."

Hanna laughed. "True enough. He nearly bit my head off once when I called him at nine in the morning."

"Speaking of time related stuff, we should probably get going. I think my family's plane just touched down. If everything went according to plan, at least."

"Your aunt's on that plane, right? Is it bad that I'm kind of wishing it went down?"

"Yes!" I chastised her, frowning. "There are four other people on that plane that I care about very much, you know. Not to mention all those other innocent people."

She sighed. "I know. But she's just so—"

"I know what she's like, Han," I snapped. I hadn't meant to, but my aunt always managed to bring out the worst in me, even when she wasn't even here yet. "I grew up with her around, remember?"

"I'm sorry," Hanna said sincerely, putting a comforting hand on my knee. "I shouldn't have joked about it. It's just... I can't get how a... serpent like her could give birth to such a cute girl like Caitlin. Or marry someone as kind as Quentin. And I certainly don't get how she can be so judgmental over you. And judgmental is an understatement."

I shook my head, getting up. "I just wanna get through these three days without breaking down, Hanna. And besides, she might not even be so... her around people she doesn't know." She gave me a skeptical look and I laughed humorlessly. "Oh, who am I kidding? Of course she will. But I'm gonna try and ignore it as best as I can. I don't want to lose focus too much, because I still have a scene to film today."

She nodded. "I understand. I promise I'll do my best to not interfere every time she's being... well, you know what I mean."

I smiled, giving her a hug. I'd missed hugging her. "Thank you, babe." I pulled away again when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw I had a text from my mother.

Our driver says we'll be pulling up in about five minutes. See you soon, love.

"They're almost here," I said, shoving the phone into my pocket again after sending my mom a quick text back. "We'd better head to the parking lot so we can wait for them there."

Hanna and I headed out, and I felt the familiar beginnings of an anxiety attack in my chest. Which was really frustrating, because I was actually really excited to see my family again. I'd really missed Mom, Dad, Quentin and Caitlin. The only one who was already ruining it for me was Lorene.

We got to the parking lot just in time, because only a few seconds later a car rolled up, parking among all the other cars, trucks and unused trailers. The car doors opened and my mom, dad, uncle, aunt and cousin got out, and before I knew it, a seven year old girl was flinging herself around my waist.

All my concerns temporarily fell away as I hugged my cousin back, laughing. "Caitlin, hey!" I ruffled her blonde hair. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good!" she said, grinning excitedly. "I really missed you, though, but the plane ride was cool, and I get to see you again, which is even cooler, and what's even coolerer is that I can see you act in a movie!" she rambled on, making me smile.

"Wait until you meet her costar," Hanna said with a wink.

I threw her a quick glare before smiling at Caitlin again. "I missed you, too, Caitie. And look at you, you've grown so much! I obviously have to see you more often because I can't have you growing up without me witnessing it. You're getting so big already."

She blushed and gave me a shy smile. I gave her another hug and then turned to my parents. They grinned and engulfed me in a tight group hug. "Oh, baby girl, you've gotten even more beautiful," Dad said, kissing the top of my head.

I blushed. "Oh, shut up, Daddy. I missed you."

"I missed you, too, baby girl."

"And I missed you, Mom."

She smiled at me, stroking my cheek. "I missed you, too, love. How've you been?"

"I've been really good," I said with as honest a smile I could muster.

She gave me a look, and I knew she didn't quite believe me and we would be having a talk later once we were alone.

Then it was my uncle's turn and he picked me up, swinging me around so my legs were flying in the air. I was laughing by the time he set me down again. "Hey, Quentin. Long time no see."

"Too long, if you ask me. Pop back into Jersey more often, okay?"

I laughed. "I'll do my best."

Then I stepped up to Lorene, faking another smile. "Hey, Lorene." I gave her a hug, but pulled away again quickly.

"Oh, I like your tan. It's better than when you were so pale all the time when you lived in New Jersey."

I forced another smile. "Thanks." Nice backhanded compliment, too.

"Anyway," Hanna said pointedly, "should we get some lunch or something? I mean, it'll be breakfast for me, but it's noon, so..."

"I could go for some lunch," Dad said. He sounded chipper, but I could tell he was annoyed by Lorene as well. She could annoy the hell out of him just by being in the same room.

"We could go to the cafeteria here. I don't really feel like heading into Miami because I have a scene later today and I don't want to go too far."

"That sounds good, love," Mom said with a smile.

Caitlin clutched my hand as we started walking, and just for the hell of it, Hanna held my other hand. As we walked passed trailers and sets, I explained to everyone what everything was and what it was used for. When we walked passed my trailer, Henry was just getting out of his together with Kal. As soon as Kal saw me, he rushed over to me, pulling Henry along.

"Kal, no!" Henry chastised, but I was already kneeling to greet him, letting go of Caitlin and Hanna.

"Hey, Kal," I crooned, scratching him behind his ears. I quickly kissed the top of his head and rose back up again. "You know by now that I'm okay with Kal attacking me any day."

"Yes, I know, but your family hasn't met him yet and I'd like them to think he behaves all the time even though he doesn't."

I laughed. "Aw, poor Kal. Don't listen to him. He's just being a big meanie. Anyway, everyone, this is Henry Cavill, my costar. Henry, this is my mom, Anna; my dad, Jack; my uncle, Quentin; my aunt, Lorene; and the cutest cousin in the world, Caitlin," I said, ruffling her hair and making her blush. "And obviously you've already met Hanna."

Henry shook the hands of the adults, giving each of them a smile. "It's nice to meet all of you." He crouched down in front of Caitlin and offered her his hand. She shook it shyly. "And it's especially nice to meet you. I can definitely see you're related to Juliette, because you're just as beautiful as her."

As everyone was smiling down at the two of them, Hanna gave me a meaningful look, wiggling her eyebrows. I was too busy trying not to squeal at how cute Henry was being with Caitlin to get annoyed with her.

Caitlin turned even redder. "Thank you. You're beautiful, too," she said, returning the compliment just like she'd been taught. Besides, it was entirely true.

He laughed, straightening up again. "Well, thank you, Caitlin." Turning to me, he asked, "So what are you guys going to do?"

"We were just going to grab some lunch. You're welcome to join us if you want."

"I was just going to walk Kal, but I'll join you if it's okay Kal comes along too. I'd feel kind of bad putting him back in the trailer now."

"Yeah, no, of course he can come," Hanna said. She petted Kal, who excitedly tried to lick her hand. "Right, guys?"

Caitlin, who'd been looking at Kal almost as if she were hypnotized, nodded eagerly.

And so the nine of us walked off to the cafeteria. Our cafeteria was pretty much a small restaurant, with waiters and menus and all. We shoved two tables together so we could all sit together. There were a few other people in the cafeteria, but they didn't pay us much attention as we sat down.

"What are you having, Julie?" Hanna asked as she looked over the menu.

"I don't know yet... I might have a hamburger. That's sounding pretty good right now."

"Are you sure you should be eating something that has so much fat in it?" Lorene asked. "I mean, you are filming a movie right now."

I could feel my face fall. "Yeah, maybe you're right..."

"Are you kidding me?" Hanna asked, her eyebrows raised. "You're not fat at all, and one burger isn't going to turn you magically fat overnight. Just get whatever you want."

"I know," I said, giving her a smile, but went for a turkey wrap anyway.

Hanna gave me a sharp look, and I knew she was upset with me for not taking the burger anyway and sticking it to Lorene.

When our food arrived, Henry said, "So we have tomorrow off. Do you have anything planned to do with your family?"

"I actually haven't thought of anything. Sorry, guys, I've just been so busy memorizing my script and filming my scenes."

"You could go to Disney World," Henry suggested. "Or to that Harry Potter amusement park, because I know you love Harry Potter."

"Traveling to Orlando would take too long, though. That would leave only a few hours to check out Disney World. And I say Disney because that would be more fun for everyone, though I have been dying to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter ever since I knew it was gonna be there. But we can't just go from Miami to Orlando."

"Sure you can. There are multiple flights going from Miami to Orlando a day. You should all go. I mean, you can't fly your cousin out to Florida without going to Disney World. My treat."

"My God, Henry, no," I said quickly. "I can't ask that of you."

"Then it's a good thing you're not asking. I'm offering. And I insist."

I started to glare at him, but when I saw Caitlin's hopeful face, I sighed. "Fine. But you can't pay for us and not come along yourself. So you've gotta come with us."

"Hell yes, you should," Hanna agreed immediately.

"Oh, no," Henry said. "I wouldn't want to impose."

"You wouldn't be imposing," Mom said. "And I'd like to get to know my daughter's costar better." The way she said it almost made it seem like the word 'costar' could be easily replaced with the word 'boyfriend.'

"Yeah, you should join us," Quentin said. "It'll be fun."

"You should come," Dad said. "But really, I can't accept you paying for all of us."

"Really Mr. Morrison, I do insist. When you're Superman, money tends to not be a problem," he joked.

Dad sighed. "I already see you're as stubborn as my daughter. And if you insist, I insist on you calling me Jack."

"Jack it is," Henry said with a smile, and then gently elbowed me. "So you're stubborn, huh?"

Hanna laughed. "Juliette is the most stubborn girl you will ever meet. If you ever get in a fight with her, just give up as soon as you can. You'll lose anyway, but the aftermath will be way less bad."

Mom giggled. "That's actually quite true."

"Guys!" I complained, feeling myself blush. "That's not true."

"She also knows how to hold grudges for forever," Dad said. "She's the queen of grudges."

"Dad, not you too! You're all making me look really bad in front of Henry. I'm not that bad at all, I promise."

Henry laughed, wrapping an arm around my waist and squeezing it gently. He kept his arm there, though, making my heartbeat speed up, and I hoped he couldn't feel it. "Aw, don't worry, Juliette. I've made up my mind about you a long time ago, and it's all good. Nothing these guys can say will change that."

I covered my face with my hands in attempt to cover up that I was blushing. "Can we please talk about something else?" I asked, the sound coming out muffled.

They all laughed, but Hanna showed off her amazing best friend skills by changing the topic, bless her heart. For the rest of the meal we mostly just talked about the movie (Lorene managed to squeeze in two more backhanded compliments, though), and after we finished up lunch, Henry, Hanna, Caitlin and I were off to walk Kal as the rest stayed behind in the cafeteria with their coffee. Caitlin was holding Kal's leash, and he was being surprisingly obedient.

"I should hire you to walk my dog from now on," Henry joked. "He actually listens when you're holding him."

"He's a really sweet dog," Caitlin said by way of answer, smiling as she gently stroked Kal's head.

"He is when he really wants to be. And being with you apparently makes him want to be really nice."

Caitlin's smile widened and her chest expanded with pride.

As Henry said something else to Caitlin, Hanna whispered in my ear, "He's too cute with her."

I bit my lip to try and contain my smile and nodded. He really, truly was. He'd be a great father at some point in his life, I just knew it.

"Hey, we're filming that scene in the park later, right?" Henry asked, and I nodded in verification. "I was just thinking that Hanna and Caitlin could be extras. Maybe playing in the park in the background or something. I mean, if they want to and if Caitlin's parents allow it, of course."

Caitlin's eyes widened. "I could be in a movie?" she asked, her voice sounding breathless.

I smiled at her excitement. "You could if you want to, yes. But first you'll have to ask Mommy and Daddy if they'll let you."

My heart broke as her face fell. "I don't think Mommy will let me." She was so used to hearing no from her mother that it was just sad.

But I actually thought there was a pretty good chance Lorene would say yes. She would probably show the scene she was in to all her friends and say how much Caitlin's performance outshines mine, because Caitlin was always, in every way, better than me. And of course I loved that little girl, and she deserved as much praise as she could possibly get, but it still hurt every time that praise was at the cost of me. Nothing I did was ever good enough, but once Caitlin did the same thing, she was the perfect little angel. I'd never really liked parents like that, but actually going through it myself was much worse.

"Hey, you never know," I told Caitlin, trying to sound upbeat while I felt anything but. "She might say yes."

Caitlin's face brightened a little. "Do you really think so?"

"I think there's a chance, yes," I told her, and she grinned at me.

A door suddenly slammed really loudly a few feet away from us. I jumped, and felt tears sting behind my eyes from the scare. I'd been feeling anxious all day, but now it was all really setting in. I tried to take deep, calming breaths, but it wasn't really working. Instead I just felt the panic and anxiety rising in my chest. The worst part about my attacks was that there was no real logic behind them. Of course I knew the reason—it was being around Lorene and her biting comments—but the weirdest things could bring the attacks about, like a door slamming. Loud sounds were the worst when I was feeling anxious, screaming being the worst of all. I felt panicky and I just wanted to get away. I wanted to be curled up in bed at home, hiding away under the blankets. But I was miles and miles and miles away from home, only feeding the anxiety.

No one really seemed to notice my inner turmoil except for Caitlin, who frowned as she saw me. "Juliette?" she asked softly. "Are you having another anxiety attack?"

I smiled, remembering just how wise and smart beyond her years she was, but it was like her question had broken the final barrier. Tears fell from my eyes, and I felt embarrassed for crying in front of them. For showing Henry just how weak I was. I just wanted to get away.

Henry took one look at me, his face filled with concern, and then looked at Hanna and Caitlin. "Hey, why don't you two continue walking Kal? He loves extra-long walks, and he especially seems to love you, Caitlin. And while you two walk Kal, I'll bring Juliette here to her trailer, okay?"

Hanna nodded and sent me a sad smile. "I love you, Julie," she said simply.

Caitlin nodded avidly. "I love you, too, Julie," she said, echoing Hanna's nickname for me.

I managed a smile for them as I tried to wipe my tears away, but it was useless. They just kept coming as Henry led me away, and I kept wishing they would stop. Kept wishing that this wasn't happening right now, while I was with Henry. Kept wishing that I didn't have anxiety at all.

We reached my trailer and Henry took me inside. He held my hand as we stood in the small kitchenette, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over the webbed area between my thumb and forefinger as he sought my eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently, and I shook my head. "Do you want some water?" I shook my head again. "Can I get you anything else?" When I shook my head once more, he said, "Okay, there's only one cure for this, then."

I stared at him, not understanding what he was talking about as tears still fell from my eyes. He led me to the bed, and my heartbeat automatically sped up, a sob escaping my throat. Lying down, he pulled me along as well to lie beside him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close so I was partially on top of his chest, and he stroked my hair soothingly as I cried, occasionally kissing the top of my head.

Henry just held me for a while. I appreciated that he just let me cry. He didn't say anything, didn't try to make it better. He just held me and let me be, which was what I really needed. Even when my tears gradually stopped falling, he stayed quiet, giving me the time I needed to recover.

When I stopped crying, I closed my eyes, burying my face deeper in Henry's chest. He smelled amazing, a mix between leathery and fruity, and his scent wrapped itself all around me. What was even better were his arms wrapped around me, holding me as if they wanted to shield me from the world. But what I loved most of all was his hand stroking my hair. I wished he could just play with my hair forever, but I knew that, realistically, this had to end sometime soon. So I said, my voice hoarse, "Thank you." I stayed completely still, not quite ready to give up the peace Henry's embrace offered me.

"Anytime," he said, still keeping his arms wrapped tightly around me, his hand still stroking my hair. "If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, just call and I'll be in your trailer in no-time. Same thing if you just want to talk."

"I appreciate that."

"So do you want to talk about it now that you've calmed down a little?" he asked, his voice as gentle as I'd ever heard it. "You don't have to. Only if you want to."

I shrugged. "It was just an anxiety attack. A little more extreme than usual, but you know... I was feeling anxious all morning, and then that door slamming was just kind of the last straw."

"Do loud noises make your anxiety worse?"

I nodded. "Yes. When I'm already anxious, it's basically a surefire way to give me an attack. When I'm not feeling anxious at all loud noises are completely fine, but..." I trailed off.

"What made you feel anxious today? Or was it building up from previous days? It's okay if you don't want to tell me."

I decided I might as well, so I said, "I got some bad news about a friend today, and then there's my aunt. We don't really have the best... relationship."

Henry took a deep breath, and I rose up and down along with his chest. "I apologize if I'm totally out of line here—which I kind of am—but I already noticed your aunt isn't exactly the nicest person in the world. That comment about the burger? Completely uncalled for and entirely unnecessary. You're beautiful the way you are, and you will still be beautiful if you eat a goddamn hamburger."

He was getting worked up, and so was I. His words made me tear up again, but I managed to fight the waterworks this time. "Yeah, well..."

"No, don't just shrug it off like that. What she said was not okay, nor were those backhanded compliments she seems to just love giving you, and I need you to know that. Do you get that?"

I nodded.

"Does she make comments like that more often?"

"Always," I whispered. "For as long as I can remember, I wasn't good enough. But ever since Caitlin was born, she was the perfect little angel. If she did something that I had done that wasn't okay in Lorene's eyes, Caitlin doing it was suddenly completely okay. Don't get me wrong, I love Caitlin, I love her to death, but it's just really frustrating for me."

"Now I finally get where your insecurity stems from. It's from both your aunt and your anxiety, isn't it?"

I nodded, not exactly sure how to feel about him figuring me out so soon. This information was usually something I kept closely guarded, but he had uncovered my secrets by just observing me. "Basically, yeah."

"Well, if you ever need me, even after we've stopped filming this movie, just call me. I might not answer right away, but I promise I'll try to be there for you as best I can."

"You're making me cry again," I mumbled.

He laughed, making his chest rumble. "I'm sorry. But I do mean it, though."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. But I should freshen up now. I probably look like an utter mess, and the others are most likely wondering where we are."

"Right." Henry pressed one more kiss to the top of my head—making my stomach feel like I'd just missed a step on the stairs—before he let me get up. I tried to not show him my face and just walk to the bathroom as quickly as I could, but he wasn't having any of that. He stood up too and caught my wrist. His face was pained as he looked at me, and for a split second I thought it was because I really did look horrible, but then he said, "I really hate that you have to go through this." He lifted up his hands and wiped the remaining tears away with his thumbs.

"I look horrible, don't I?"

He shook his head, smiling. "No. You look as beautiful as ever, mascara smudges and all."

"Oh, fuck," I mumbled under my breath, but Henry was close enough that he could hear it, and he smiled. "I got it on your shirt too," I said, pointing to the wet spots and black smudges on his once neat gray T-shirt.

He looked down at it and shrugged. "It's no big deal. I can just change." He grabbed his collar and yanked the shirt over his head. He smiled at me, full shirtless glory and all. "See? No problem."

I nodded, trying my best not to stare at his chest and abdomen. "Well, I'll just go wash my face then."

"Okay. Can I use your computer in the meantime?"

"Yeah, sure. It's right on the table over there. But why, if I may ask?"

"I was going to order the tickets to Disney World and arrange the flights." When he seemed to realize something, he quickly added, "If you still want to go, I mean. I don't know how long your anxiety attacks last, and maybe an amusement park like Disney would trigger them more."

I smiled at how thoughtful he was being. "My attacks can last up to a few days, but I think I'll be fine. And if I'm not..." I shrugged. "We'll just see. What matters most is that I don't want to let Caitlin down."

"If you need anything tomorrow or any other time, anything at all, just let me know, okay? I'll try and get you out of the crowd."

Before I could cry again, I smiled in thanks and disappeared into my bathroom to wash my face. I refused to look into the mirror, fearing for the worst. I didn't want to see just how terrible I looked—how terrible Henry had seen me look. I washed my face as quickly as possible, but when I finally looked in the mirror once I was done, my complexion was still pale, red splotches everywhere. And so I quickly applied some foundation. I applied some lipstick, too, to cover up the redness of my lips. I didn't bother with mascara, knowing there was a chance I might cry again and I just didn't want to risk it.

But at least now I knew I had another shoulder to cry on if things did go downhill again.

When I reemerged from the bathroom, Henry was just finishing up a phone call, still not wearing a shirt. His back was turned to me, and I took the opportunity to study his beautifully sculpted shoulders. I wanted to run my fingers over his skin, but refrained myself. Instead, I sat down on the edge of my bed and asked, "Were there still flights available?"

He turned around and smiled at me. "Yeah, it was no problem. It's going to be a long day, though. With an early start, too, which I know you won't be happy about."

I groaned, making him laugh. "How late will I have to get up?"

"Realistically speaking, you'll probably have to get up at about six a.m."

I shook my head at him. "I'm not quite sure yet if I'm grateful for you doing this or not."

He grinned. "I'll give you until the end of tomorrow to make up your mind. For now, I'm gonna look up Ryan and see if he's okay with having Hanna and Caitlin in the background. Are you good to go see if Caitlin's parents will allow it? Or do you want me to go with you?"

I shook my head. "No, I'll be fine. And if I start feeling anxious again, I'll have Hanna there."

"If you're sure. Well, I'd better go and put on a shirt before I go see Ry."

I laughed. "That's probably a good idea, yeah."

We left my trailer and paused in front of Henry's. He pressed his fingers lightly to my cheek, searching for my eyes. "Remember, I'm here if you need me, okay?"

I smiled, my hand automatically rising up to hold his wrist. "I know. Thank you."

He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead before entering his trailer. I stood there for a moment, smiling. Anxiety attacks always sucked, but maybe they didn't always have to be all bad, either.

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Lyrics at the beginning of the chapter are Anxiety by the Black Eyed Peas.

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