Chapter 11 (Indi's POV)

I pulled up to Jay's house but was hesitant to get out of the car. I knew he was there by himself and I was really unsure of how to talk to him. I mentally slapped myself for forgetting my iPad but I wasn't prepared for him to come home so early the other day I just left in a rush so I wouldn't have to talk to him for no more than a bye. I realized I was being a coward about the situation instead of just talking to him about things but I honestly just freaked out about the whole thing and didn't know how to address it so I chose to ignore it but you can't just ignore your feelings. And I knew it was unfair to Jayson as well so I did wanna talk to him I was just scared. I was still contemplating everything in the driveway when I saw Jay open the front door and step outside. He had on a simple pair of jeans and a black short sleeve shirt with a pair of white and black dunks. He had some nice tiny gold hoops in that complimented his wire framed glasses. This man really was fine as I watched him walk slowly towards my car with my ipad in his hand. I realized I was still a lil drunk from earlier cause I felt myself getting aroused just looking at this man walk towards me with such a smooth stride. I decided to step out of the car finally and meet him halfway.

"Hey Jayson"

"What's up, here go your ipad that you left" he said to me, handing it to me while he also checked his phone not really seeming interested in talking to me. I guess he was just tired of my bullshit which I could understand so I just decided to get my ipad and go, no need in talking to him about things.

"Thanks Jayson, well I see you" I said as I got ready to get back in my car. I turned around to leave and felt him grab my arm.

"Wait Indi, so you really not gonna talk to me anymore, just like that?"

He said to me the frustration clear in his face and voice, still holding on to my arm.

"Well it doesn't seem you are very interested in talking to me and we don't have that much to talk about anyway." I said. Those weren't the words I wanted to come out but the alcohol plus his attitude was rubbing me in the wrong way that I didn't like.

"Oh okay I see, so it's like that huh? Like why are you doing all this, why can't you just talk to me Indi damn, instead of doing all this extra shit."

"Who the fuck are you talking to Jayson and you're the one being extra with this attitude! And you need to get yo hands off me!"

"I have an attitude Indi because you've been the one trying to act "professional" but you really have just been rude and inconsiderate as hell of how I feel!" At this point we were almost screaming at each other and a few of his neighbors that were outside looked over. This was giving me a headache and I didn't want to cause a scene so I just took a breath to calm myself down.

"Look Jayson I'm sorry for that, can we go inside and talk please?"

"Fine, sorry for grabbing yo arm like that too" he said still with a slight attitude.

He seemed to calm down himself a bit, as he led me by the hand inside. We went and sat in the living room across from each other. Both of us still a lil hot from just now. He had music playing over the speakers in his house. I bobbed my head to the r&b songs playing, feeling myself calm down as we sat there in silence for a moment. Jay broke it finally when he spoke.

"Can we finally talk about everything or are you just gonna go back to ignoring me again?"

"I mean we can talk but you need to drop the attitude Jayson." I said, rolling my eyes. The liquor in me had me in a feistier mood than usual so I wasn't finna take his bs.

"Fine" he said sitting back in his chair. Even angry he looked good. I couldn't help but bite my lip seeing him there looking like that but I shook my head free of that thought cause he was pissing me off.

"Is it alright if I talk first?" he asked me. His face had softened and he looked at me with a tender look in his eyes. I shook my head yes as I prepared myself for what he was going to say.

"I mean Indi first off I just wanna say I'm sorry for kissing you that was unprofessional. I can admit that I did put you in an awkward position. I get that now and how crossing that line may have confused you and made you feel like you did what you had to do. But how you just left like that that morning, with just a short note and no real explanation, then to come back here and act like nothing happened and ignore me, it felt like the moment meant nothing to you and I won't lie and say it didn't hurt me a lil Indigo"

I was kinda taken aback by what he said. I didn't expect Jayson to apologize like this and accept blame for what he did as well but I could see how my actions could have affected him too.

"Jayson, I'm sorry," I said "I didn't really mean to hurt you, everything just happened so fast that had me confused and I just didn't now how to deal with the situation because for one I could have lost my job if say your mom or your housekeeper walked in on us and reported me. It was just too much to risk and with everything else going on in my life I didn't need anymore stress. So the way best for me to deal with things was to act like it never happened. Plus I was scared." I paused feeling a lump form in my throat thinking about all the hurt I endured from past encounters with people and I just couldn't do this again with another person.

"Scared of what Indi? Like just talk to me for real, a couple weeks ago we were talking about everything underneath the sun actually getting to know each other and form a connection, now it's like pulling teeth trying to talk with each other" he said to me as he came to my end of the couch closer to me.

"It's just I've been in these situations before Jayson where things are complicated like this and I'm always the one that ends up hurt and I just can't do that anymore" I said as I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "So it's been better for me to just stay professional and not cross that line because I always suffer and I'm scared it will be the same way with you Jay cause I do like you." I finally told him I mean I had been crushing on him for sure but after interacting with each other for these two months and that kiss, I realized I did like him too.

"I understand Indi, and I apologize again about not thinking of how my actions could affect you. And I mean I'm a lil scared too. I haven't felt anybody like this since Duce's mom and I guess I just got ahead of myself when I should have just been upfront as soon as I knew I had these feelings for you. I just didn't know how you'd react until you had kissed me back. But I do like you." He reached and grabbed my hand making me come closer to him. "I don't know how this will work Indi but I hope you can give me a chance because I do wanna get to know you more and treat you right. Only if that's alright with you, and if not, I at least hope we can go back to being friendly with each other and talking at least."

My thoughts were racing, like Jayson seemed sincere about what he was saying, but so did the others, I just didn't know what to do and maybe it was the liquor making me do this but I just did what felt right in the moment. I grabbed his face gently and brought his lips lower to mine and as they connected I could tell this was the right answer to his question as his hands wrapped around my waist laying me down on the couch. I didn't know if I was making another mistake or not, I was just following what my heart and body wanted at that moment. And what they wanted was Jayson Tatum.  

(alright yall things are about to get real mature in the next two chapters so be warned lol )