Ch. 32 - The 57th Expedition

We'd only been talking about this and that, and most recently about an old piano Gunther found in one of the storage rooms of the base when I noticed something was... off, about Eren.

Our squad had already gotten back after the investigation into who killed Hange's two Titans, the ones captured within Trost and so lovingly named Sawney and Bean and consequently, the recruitment ceremony which had been that very night, only hours after the investigation ended with frustratingly inconclusive results. It was actually the next day; after training, and chores, and plenty of work for all of us, we were all chatting over tea after dinner by candlelight with only our conversations to keep time for us.

It was going well. There was a bit of bickering here, perhaps a pointed comment or another obvious attempt at flirting with Petra from Olou, but for the most part, it was a pleasant evening. Of course, it was, until I noticed something was off about Eren.

It wasn't that something was off in a bad way about the boy, not that I could tell. Rather, whenever I would meet his gaze - for he looked at me often - his cheeks would flush and he would look away bashfully.

So, after Gunther promised to bring me up there to see the piano and play something for me sometime, I lowered my tea cup and looked over at the poor kid, determined to just yank the truth out of him one way or another.

"Eren," I called gently, for perhaps he would respond well to some gentle cajoling, "are you alright?"

"Yeah," Olou piped up, and I fought the urge to remind him not to interrupt a commanding officer or butt into a conversation where he wasn't wanted. I only bit it back when I met Levi's gaze and watched him shake his head as though to tell me using all that effort wasn't worth it. "What's up, kid? You're all red."

"It's not too warm in here, is it?" Petra asked, now noticing how red he was as well. "I can open a window or two..."

"He'll burn up at this rate," Eld said with a devilish sort of smirk. "Since you can turn into a Titan, do you always run so hot?"

"No," Eren muttered shyly. "No. It's not that. At least, I don't think it is." After a silent moment where he seemed contemplative and we all hung back, waiting for his answer, he then leaned towards Eld to speak quietly to him. Whatever Eren said, it made Eld laugh aloud, and right away, I wished I was in on the joke.

"Oh, wow, kid," Eld said through his laughter. "That's... wow. Wow!"

"Mind sharing the joke, Eld?" Levi asked, looking at him over the rim of his teacup, having paused before taking a sip.

"Of course, Captain," Eld said after clearing his throat. "Eren just seems to have chanced upon something... indecent."

"Indecent?" I repeated, looking at Eld whose face was still so full of mischief it was hard to tell if he was being serious or not. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on," Eren muttered embarrassedly. "It's not that serious..."

"A kiss," Eld said over Eren, smiling all the while.

"A kiss," Petra echoed. "Indecent?"

"A kiss is hardly indecent," Gunther said, setting his chin in his palm. "I've seen worse in the barracks. Hell, on my first week here in the scouts, after a particularly trying day of training, I wanted nothing more than to just get into bed, but I stumbled in on a couple of guys from my cadet corps-"

"-I can't believe you've seen them kiss," Eld cut in, effectively interrupting Gunther and glancing first at Eren, then towards Petra. "Petra and I are their aides and we've never seen anything like that. At least, not that I can remember."

"And certainly nothing indecent," Petra added.

"Eren," I said, and he met my eyes reluctantly, "is this about earlier?" My question was met with a nod, and it took all I had in me not to smile. "Levi giving me a kiss isn't indecent. Or do you perhaps think it's unbecoming of your commanding officers to do something like that?"

Our Titan boy looked down at his lap, pointedly keeping his gaze from meeting anyone's eyes. "Maybe it's because you're so young," Olou said to him, "but you're going to have to get used to sights like that from soldiers. Trust me, some people have no shame."

"These two especially," Gunther said, and I narrowed my eyes at him at the implications of his words, "do so much for us, for humanity."

I then smiled at him, though when he met my eyes, I realized he knew exactly what he had done, and he looked proud of it. Still, I was humbled by what he said. My heart swelled with pride knowing that our subordinates held so much stock in us and our abilities. I glanced at Levi, who only sipped his tea silently, as though this conversation wasn't happening at all.

"They've been going at it for years now, so I hear," Gunther continued. "Just be glad you didn't see much worse."

"Gunther," Levi said in warning, lowering his cup to the table. "Watch it."

"Sorry, sir," Gunther said with a sheepish smile.

"This is only squad in the entire military captained by two officers," Olou said. "Shouldn't it have been obvious, newbie?"

"Gunther's right, though," Petra said, rejoining the conversation. "It shouldn't be weird to see people in love. In the scouts especially, where we risk our lives all the time. People don't really have time to waste, and I'm happy that they don't."

"It's not that," Eren said sheepishly. "It just caught me off guard, that's all. I just didn't think that Captain Levi would be able to actually-"

"Choose your next words very carefully, Eren," I said in warning.

"This ought to be good," I heard Gunther say, elbowing Eld who nodded.

"Actually what, Eren?" Levi said smoothly, evenly. That was, perhaps scarier than if he sounded mad - this was a calculated, forced sort of calm. Snickers came from around the table at the poor boy's expense.

"Alright," I said, not giving Eren a chance to answer. Any answer he gave now would be incorrect and lead to a punishment, so I may as well issue it myself. "I'd like to think I'm a rather lenient captain, and a pleasant one, if I do say so myself."

I heard Eld make an amused sort of hum, and I broke my stare at Eren to shoot him a glare. He only took it in stride, and leaned back in his chair in a casual way.

"I don't usually do things like this, but Eren, making comments on what commanding officers do in their personal time is a no-go," I continued. "If the rest of you are done, you're free to go, and start on the nightly chores, please. Eren, you stay put."

At the order, everyone except for Eren got to moving. Plates and utensils were cleared away, and our four subordinates took them all off to the kitchens to start cleaning up. Meanwhile, Levi and I... didn't take our eyes off of the boy.

I wondered at that moment what we looked like. With Levi and I at the head of each end of the table, and looking at him like this, so seriously and with our arms crossed over our chest... Hell, I'd be intimidated. This seemed to me to be less like two commanding officers readying to discipline an unruly soldier, and more like two parents ready to give their child a lecture.

...I nearly smiled at the thought.

"I'm sure you don't need a lecture about this," I said simply, breaking the newfound silence.

"Yes, ma'am."

"I trust that you won't make more comments like that."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'm certain you know the potential ramifications a comment like that might have on the reputation of this regiment."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And I am sure you feel as though you deserve a punishment."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Further, I'm sure you know that I'm letting you off easy only out of the goodness of my heart."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Finally, I'm sure you know that the aforementioned goodness of my heart will only last so long," I said, "and that making you do some laps around the castle grounds is a fitting punishment for you."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Smart boy." I gestured with a movement of my head towards the doors leading outside. "Fifteen laps around the castle. The whole thing - no cutting through the courtyard. I'll know if you do. It shouldn't take you long - and no cheating by using your Titan." Eren bit back a sigh and I smiled at the sight. "Get going, Eren."

"Yes, ma'am." He stood, left the room, and then... Levi and I were the only ones left. I looked down the length of the table at him.

"Why'd you really let him off easy?" Levi asked.

"Is saying he's a cute kid a good enough answer for you?"

"No," Levi answered soundly. "Especially when he should be resting before Hange comes back to do more experiments."

I set my forearms on the table. "Oh? So I shouldn't have disciplined him at all?"

"I'm not saying that," he said. There was something inviting in his gaze, something soft and unspoken but beneath that... something hungrier, something darker. "Come here."

I had no reason to deny him, so I didn't. I rose from my seat and walked around the table slowly, methodically, in a way that would make him wait. And if I was right, waiting for him right now was something he did not want to do, not at all. Goodness, but he made it so easy to tease him.

There was a gleam in his eye and the ghost of a smirk on his lips. "If I didn't know any better," I said slowly, teasingly, "I'd say you were up to no good."

"If I didn't know any better," he shot back, "I'd say you look excited about it."

"Maybe I do," I admitted. Now close enough, I reached for him, and he took my hand and guided me to his side. I continued around him to the back of his chair, and I let go of his hand only to run both across his shoulders and to wind around his chest. I dropped my voice to a whisper, bringing my lips towards his ear - and my actions had the desired effect, as a shiver ran down his spine as I spoke. "But of course, we're still in the mess hall."

He turned his head only enough to be able to glance at me in his periphery. When one silvery eye met mine, I smiled, for I could see the smirk clearly now. Levi took my hand in his once more, and I went where he guided me. I stood out of the way as he pushed his seat back further, and I had no time to respond before, with only one tug to my hand, I found myself in his lap.

I didn't even get to vocalize my surprise, for my lips were caught against his own. I did hum against him, which in turn enticed a chuckle out of him. "A kiss isn't indecent," I said after having drawn away from him, "but straddling you in the mess hall is."

"We didn't get to finish the other day," he reminded me. "We were so busy. I'm just picking up where we left off."

"I understand that," I said, smiling down at him. "And I certainly won't say that I don't want to, because I do. But here? Four people doing some dishes doesn't take that long, love."

"Since when do you give a shit about people seeing?"

"Seeing me give you a kiss on the cheek is different than them walking in on us making out where we all take our meals."

"What's your point?"

"My point is," I purred, tucking one hand beneath his chin, "we should probably get upstairs while they're all busy with their chores." I leaned down then, pecking his lips, then ducked down further to kiss his neck.

My words had the intended effect, and he ran his hands down my waist and past my hips to settle beneath me. I could feel his muscles shift as he prepared to stand, and with me securely in his arms, he did.

A lesser man would have likely had some difficulty standing with the addition of someone's weight, especially as I adjusted to wrap my legs around his waist... but not him. And to do it so smoothly, and hold me so tenderly? God, he was perfect.

I set my hands around his shoulders, linked my fingers behind his neck, and continued attending to the sensitive skin of his neck. I knew what spot would leave him weak, so I rather obviously danced around it. Levi picked up on it right away. How wouldn't he?

"You're a fucking tease, you know that?"

I only smirked against his neck, loving that I could make him react in such a way. I continued to kiss him, and the man surprised me - I thought that he might set me down so that we could ascend the stairs easier, but he didn't put me down for even a second. No, the stubborn thing refused even when I offered, and up the stairs he went.

He was showing off. That was all.

Damn him, because it was attractive.

When we reached the top floor - chosen of course so we'd be far away from the general barracks that our subordinates would reside in, and in turn the basement where Eren was staying for the time being - he walked with purposed strides all the way to the door to the office we were occupying.

Only... Levi's hands were occupied. "Dammit, woman," he hissed. "Get the door."

"That's not a nice way of asking," I said, even as I reached behind myself to turn the knob.

But I wasn't quick enough, so it seemed, and my insubordination was starting to get me in trouble. I was only just able to bite my tongue, to keep the startled noise from escaping me, when Levi pried me off his body and lifted me upwards, draping me rather inelegantly over his shoulder.

"It wasn't a question," he told me. With one hand free, the other set securely on my hip to keep me in place, he was able to open the door, and in we went.

"It was an order, then, captain?"

"You're a pain in my ass," he muttered, crossing the space to reach the door into the bedroom. Thankfully for both of us, it was wide open, and before I knew it, I was tossed rather unceremoniously to the bed, and he somehow managed to do it in a way so my feet weren't on the bed.

"Boots off," he commanded, looking down at me from his spot standing by the foot of the bed between my legs. "You're not going to muddy the linens."

"We'll sully the linens another way, you mean," I said with a smirk. I sat up and got to work unlacing my boots, only to pull them off and toss them aside. Levi did the same, though in a more orderly way, then clambered onto the bed and on top of me.

And so he got his night of unnecessarily loud lovemaking.

It started off sweetly, with lingering kisses left on exposed skin and breathy I love you's ghosting between us. His weight on top of me was comfortable, warm, safe. With one of his hands bracing himself up on the bed beside my head and the other grasping my waist, I had free space to trail my hands down his chest, caress the space over his heart, hold his cheek in my palm reverently, unbutton his shirt without a care in the world, and card my fingers through his hair, enticing sigh after sigh out of him.

It started off sweetly. That's certainly not how it remained.

When his hands found the buttons of my shirt, he didn't seem to be able to get them undone quickly enough. As more and more of my skin was exposed to him, he gave it all the attention it deserved. On my collarbones he placed gentle kisses, then started a trailing line through the valley between my breasts and then lower. He slid one hand beneath the small of my back, guiding me to arch upwards towards him.

He sat back then, giving me the space to take my shirt off as he finally slid his own off his shoulders. He was just starting to undo his belt when I set my hand on the back of his head and guided his lips back to mine. A startled sort of noise escaped his lips only to be caught in my own as I pulled him down with me to lay back down. I got to work unbuckling his belt, wasting no time in pulling it from its loops and tossing it to the floor.

Levi broke from the kiss to catch his breath, and my hands, now only a single movement away from unbuttoning his pants, stalled completely between us. "Your next orders, captain?"

"Be as loud as you can," he said, "and let me take care of you."

I smiled, a flurry of butterflies alighting in my stomach just as a roaring fire sprung forth. "Sir, yes sir."

—

My parting orders with our squad only a few days later were as follows: "Eld, you're in charge. Maintain the usual daily schedule and do not deviate from the regular training. I expect a detailed report by the time we get back."

Eld, as our usual second-in-command, responded as he always did, with a polite, "Yes, captain."

With trust in my aide to do what he needed to do today for us, Levi and I tacked our horses, readied them for a ride, then set off. We rode in a calm quiet, or at least as quietly as we could manage for ourselves while on horseback. All we could hear were the sounds of nature we rode past: the rustling of leaves in the trees, sweet birdsong coming from every which way, the rush of water as we rode along a trail that ran alongside a river.

Strider trotted along happily, and I looked out at the water. At some point during the ride, a tributary broke away from the river and the trail continued along it. The water here was calmer and shallower, and we passed plenty of calm pockets of water. I was consequently tempted more than once to stop and sit on the bank.

I lamented not having had the foresight to bring anything more than our water canteens with us, for the ride wasn't long enough to need anything more than that, but there were so many lovely stops where we could have a picnic...

Maybe while back at the main base, I could put something together. Still, for now, we pressed onwards. We made it to the HQ just before lunchtime, and when the horses were comfortably resting in their stalls, for the first time in so long, we stopped in for a quick bite to eat. Our appearance was met with a lot of excitement from our fellow higher-ups, and I found myself on the receiving end of one of Hange's very excited hugs.

"You saw me only a few days ago," I said with a laugh, winding my arms around her.

"Yeah, but that was for experiments! We couldn't bother shorty like we used to!"

Levi clicked his tongue, watching this all unfold in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest. "You've both annoyed me enough."

After the meal, all the commanding officers gathered into a meeting room and stood around the wooden table set in the middle of the room. At the head of the table stood Erwin, and when at last we were all accounted for and the room was secure, the meeting began.

Everyone looked towards Erwin expectantly, and when he cleared his throat, it was like we all held our collective breath in anticipation of what he was to say. "In the past few days," he began, "there have been a few important developments. As was covered before, in light of the recent attack in Trost, I believe that the Titans that broke through Wall Maria are of the same origin as Eren Yeager."

"As in they possess some kind of intelligence," one of our comrades mused, "or that someone is controlling them, too?"

"Both," I said. "They're not exactly mutually exclusive, are they?"

"Precisely my thinking," Erwin affirmed. "According to reports, including even Eren's, the Colossal Titan appeared each time within a strike of lightning. The same has been said of Eren's Titan body."

"So, someone out there wants to kill all of us?"

"That is what I think," Erwin confirmed. "Obviously, the Titans themselves are dangerous enough. But it appears to me that these specialized ones mean to kill us indirectly - through starvation and infighting, for example, as was seen when Wall Maria fell. They could very well have crushed everyone they saw, but they focused only on the gates, then disappeared. Further, and perhaps more pressing a concern, I think that these adversaries are among the ranks of our military."

Murmurs rose up in low, anxious ripples around the room. "But why?"

"How?"

"Who would betray us all?"

"Why assume something like that?"

"What could possibly make you believe that?"

When Erwin spoke, it was calm and calculated, and his feelings were not in the least betrayed by his facial expressions. There was a graveness to his gaze, a seriousness in his tone that unsettled all of us to say the least.

Erwin had this incredible power of foresight and intuition. He was an incredibly smart individual. If he was right about this... If what he was saying was right, not only would these intelligent Titans be powerful foes in those forms, but they would be deadly normally, too. Especially if we were to consider that they might even have infiltrated our ranks. But if that were the case, even five years back...

"Settle down," Erwin said, and at once, all noise in the room was silenced. "Let me make it clear: I trust every individual in this room. You were all accounted for when Trost was attacked. There is, of course, the matter of the second Titan that appeared in Wall Maria in 845, but I will say it again: I trust every single one of you."

"Well, that's good," Rashad said. "But what of our subordinates? Our medical staff? The higher brass? The pack runners? If what you're saying is true, how do we trust any of them?"

"Innocent until proven guilty, right?"

"Right, but... How do we know they're in the military?"

"We do not. It is only conjecture. You all are aware that the Titans captured in Trost were killed," Erwin said. "Even restrained, killing two Titans requires a considerable amount of skill and of course, a set of gear. The weaknesses of a Titan - including the only way to kill it - are not public information. Not only that, but it happened without anyone noticing - perhaps during a change of guard."

"So, you're saying whoever it is is not only skilled with gear, but it's someone who either had access to our schedule or observed enough to know when they would have an opening to strike?"

"Correct," Erwin answered. "But this is only conjecture. There is no way to know for sure. More than one of these foes might have been at the scene: the Colossal, the Armored, and any others who we have not seen yet, like Eren. That brings me to the purpose of our next expedition. The 57th is set to begin two weeks from today. We will be heading into Wall Maria through Wall Rose's eastern district, since Trost's gate is unavailable."

Erwin's keen, steady gaze traveled across the room, meeting each of ours in turn, the soldiers he trusted most, the people he hand-selected to help serve this army and train the recruits. The gravity of what was set to happen was finally settling on our shoulders, and when Erwin's eyes met mine, I did what I could to not shift uncomfortably under the intense weight of his gaze.

"Our goal," he continued, "is to lure one or more of these intelligent Titans out and capture them and if not, then defeat and incapacitate them. At my request, Hange and their subordinates have been heading the development of specialized capture devices. An advance team will run with the wagons several days before the expedition and prepare the Forest of Giant Trees with traps."

"That's fine and all," another captain said, "but a trap is useless without bait."

"Our bait is preparing even now for this expedition, I'm sure," Erwin said confidently. I could feel it when the entire group held their collective breath, but even without saying it, I'm sure we all knew whose name he was going to say. "Eren Yeager is the bait for this trap."

"The Titan kid?

"No way..."

"A recruit as bait?"

"Titan or not, doesn't that seem cruel?"

"Assuming these adversaries are human, as I suspect," Erwin said, "having another soldier with the ability to turn into a Titan would likely mean another worthy ally for them - or maybe an enemy they wish to capture. We have to prove to the brass that we can control Eren, and if we manage to weed out more of humanity's greatest foes, it shall be a boon to us all. Because our aim is not to establish a strongpoint nor purge Titans from a village, we shall assume the Long-Distance Scouting Formation."

On the table he now set a rolled-up document. With easy movements, he unfurled it and when flattened, we all looked at it eagerly. It was the formation we were to assume and in shape it looked nearly the same as it always did. I looked for where the Special Operations Squad would be located, only to see that... we were nowhere to be found.

"You forgot someone," Levi muttered, looking at Erwin - knowing damn well that there was likely a reason for it.

"Humor for a moment the possibility that the traitors are within our ranks," Erwin said. "We do not want them to know where Eren will be located in the formation, or they may attack prematurely and catch him by surprise. We don't want him to turn into a Titan, not unless it is in a controlled environment and he is closely monitored. If we are attacked by Intelligent Titans, and Eren loses control, we'd be hard-pressed to tackle these threats properly."

"We're assuming that they'll turn into a Titan, then?" Marlene asked. "What if they remain human the whole time?"

"Then everyone returns home safely," Erwin stated surely, "and we show the brass we can go on an expedition with Eren in tow."

"This is another one of your gambles," one of the other squad leaders said, with the intonation of a question. "We're gambling that they transform to try to get Eren so that we can lure them to the forest for capture."

"That's right."

"Erwin," Hange piped up, "will Amaya be stationed with my squad to spring the traps, considering she helped design them?"

"No. You alone will oversee the training of several squads to man the traps."

"Yes, sir," Hange replied, though reluctantly.

"May I ask why?" I asked. "I only aided with the design, though not the construction, but surely more hands at the scene would be better."

"Amaya, your place during the 57th is with your squad. With Eren Yeager. Should you get attacked, should Eren lose his resolve... he will need both leaders there."

"He'll think something is wrong if I'm not present, you mean?"

"Precisely," he affirmed. "While the main forces are not to know the true nature of this expedition, this is especially true for The Special Operations Squad. If any word of the plan gets out, the entire expedition may be compromised. Eren and your subordinates must have complete faith in you, their captains."

He paused, and his gaze flickered from me to Levi. Extra pressure settled on my shoulders, and I crossed my arms over my chest. I wanted to look at Levi, to gauge his reaction, but I did not. Not now. Not when every set of eyes in the room was centered on either myself or Levi.

"I cannot stress this enough," Erwin pressed. "Eren is not to know the plan, that he is bait, else he may act - to our foes - in a suspicious manner. I have for each of you your copy of the plan. Be aware that the location of the Special Operations Squad is different for each."

"So, if they need assistance...?"

"On paper, no one will know where they are. But they will be stationed at the very back of the formation, in the center."

"The safest part of the formation," I noted quietly, glancing sidelong at Levi, who met my gaze evenly.

Erwin heard me, and now he looked my way. "For all of our sakes," he said, "let us hope it stays that way."

—

Weeks Later:

We were outside with our squad, going over the plan for the upcoming mission. Well, most of us were, anyway. For Levi and myself, there was only so much "going over the plan" we could do. We'd had the long, boring, incredibly intensive and expansive meeting with Erwin that went over everything: the plan itself, the plan as our subordinates would know it, the backup plans, contingency plans, the failsafe plans, and everything in between.

As Levi once so eloquently put it, "the man was obsessed with every angle". While it made for a boring afternoon (and evening, for as long as that meeting went on), it meant that we all knew what we were doing.

And I felt as prepared as I could for this expedition. I did.

Normally, these expeditions were rather straightforward: we had a destination, and a goal. Since losing Wall Maria, our primary goal was to kill all the Titans we could and establish strongholds for ourselves through various means. But today, there was a lot more at stake. We were entering Titan territory once more, so it was as dangerous as always, but if we failed today, we would lose Eren: perhaps if not to an untimely death or to our enemies, we would lose him to the central government and Military Police.

Of course... there was the added threat of more intelligent Titans being lured out. Even with the traps, we'd be hard-pressed to capture a Titan as large as the one that had kicked through the gate, if the reports were to be believed. A smaller one, even as comparably "small" as Eren's 15-meter class, would be far easier.

Our subordinates were huddled around a map and copy of the plan, reviewing it once more. I approached Levi, who was off with his horse. Hitched close to his pitch black mare was my buckskin. Two beauties among the chestnut-coated horses of the rest of the herd, they stood out well, and served us faithfully so far - and were the very same ones we were given before our first expedition.

That was why, when Levi gave just too much attention to his own horse, my own butted in, nudging Levi's shoulder with his nose, Levi reached up to scratch his chin indulgently. I left the group and walked towards him. Of course, he noticed as I approached, and his eyes met mine. I came to a stop just before him, greeting each horse with pats to their necks.

"Strider," I said to my horse, smiling when he nickered quietly in his own greeting, "you're not bothering Levi too much, are you?"

"About as much as usual," Levi spoke in a rather serious manner, which nearly made me laugh. To speak so seriously, and on a horse's behalf...

I lowered my voice and spoke softly, now, so that our comrades wouldn't overhear our conversation. "Are you ready for today?"

"Yes," he answered surely, and his gaze grew suspicious when he saw my smile turn sly. "The hell is that smile for?"

"You say that you're ready," I said, "but your cravat is crooked, love."

When he glanced down at it, then back into my eyes, I saw the silent permission I was waiting for, and so I stepped close to him. The body of his horse blocked us from view as I tugged his cloak out of the way gently, then untied his cravat. I kept my eyes on what I was doing as he spoke once more.

"All we're concerned about is getting to that damn forest," Levi said, "and getting the brats back in one piece."

"That's right," I said, retying his cravat with trained fingers. When the knot was secure, I smoothed it out across the center of his chest. "You and I will be so brave, Eren will piss himself."

I met his gaze now, noting the distinct mischief in them now as he caught onto my hint, my reference to our bet from weeks ago. "Or," he said, adjusting his cloak when I withdrew my hands from his chest, "he'll shit himself."

"Whatever the case," I said softly, letting him take my hands into his own, "promise me that you'll stay safe."

"I always have," he replied.

"And you always try getting out of it by saying that," I said through an overly-dramatic sigh. "Just silly words, and yet you can't swallow your pride long enough to say them to me."

"You damn woman," he muttered. "We do this before every single expedition."

"You humor me before every single expedition."

He leaned in closer then, just enough to rest his forehead against mine. I was grateful in that moment that we were hidden from view of the others, and that they were preoccupied; otherwise, he wouldn't have allowed this, and never would have initiated it himself.

"I'll stay safe, you know that." He leaned away, but just enough to instead press his lips to mine for a simple kiss, one as sweet and reassuring as it was gentle. "And you... don't try to be a hero. Don't get your stupid ass killed."

"I won't," I assured him softly. "I promise."

I allowed myself one more moment like this; I kissed him once more, and when I drew away, it was slow. Levi must have noticed my hesitation to stray too far from him. It had to have been obvious to him, being who he was. "Amaya," he said quietly, "are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I murmured, letting my eyes flutter open. I took in those beautiful blue eyes of his, now filled with so much concern for me.

"You look worried," he noted quietly.

"Do I?" I pulled away from him a bit further, wondering if that was the truth. He wasn't one to lie, least of all to me especially, but... was I allowing my facial expressions to betray what I was feeling so readily?

There were times in my life, I recounted, when I hated being right. There were times in my life when I didn't want to be right. This was a time in which I hoped with all my heart that I wouldn't be right, because if I was right, then today would be a disaster.

When I woke up the morning of our job, all the way back in the Underground City, I had woken up with a sinking sensation in my stomach and the nagging feeling that it would go wrong. I hadn't wanted to be right, because if the thoughts plaguing my mind in that instance had been right, it meant something big was coming. Well, I had been right, unfortunately. While the job hadn't gone wrong, the expedition had, and we lost Farlan and Isabel.

And this morning, when I woke up next to Levi (far earlier than I would've liked, by the way), I had felt that same feeling in my stomach. I feared what that meant for us today.

But I reasoned with myself that the job had had a silver lining; we had been able to join the scouts and come outside, and even go beyond the walls. For a band of thugs, that was pretty good. At the very least, Levi and I were in good standing now.

I only hoped that today - if this feeling was right, if everything went wrong - whatever happened, it would have a silver lining too.

"I feel fine," I finally said to him. "I have you at my side, right?"

"Right," he said, though... hesitantly, reluctantly, as though letting the topic go just for my sake. I had a distinct feeling that he knew what was troubling me, and that he picked up on it, too. And yet, my words held their own truth to them: so long as he was at my side, and I was at his... we just might get out of this alright.

I smiled as surely as I could at him. "I love you," I said quietly. "Let's do our job and come home safely."

"I love you too," he responded quietly. "It's about time we get going, brat."

I nodded, knowing he was right. We called our squad over, mounted up, and took our place with the rest of the regiment. We settled into our spot in the tightened formation meant for the trek towards the outer wall of the district.

When at last we reached the gate, I squared my shoulders, tipped my chin up higher, and readied for the order to move. There was an impatient buzz to the air, a frenzied energy that seemed to electrify the entire regiment.

"Commander, the time approaches," I heard. The ringing of the bell - signifying the gate was to open - was deafening, every whinny from a horse reverberated through my skull, and every cheer from a fellow soldier pounded in my head. But I had to focus.

"Titans in the vicinity have been lured away. The gate opens in thirty seconds!"

I glanced behind me at my subordinates, my Special Operations Squad. Petra, Olou, Eld, and Gunther were focused, determined, and serious, of course, as they always were before a mission. But Eld, my ever dutiful aide, recognized the familiar weight of my gaze on him immediately and smiled at me. I smiled back at him with a nod. I looked at Eren, to gauge if he was nervous or not, but he was smiling. I followed his gaze and saw that inside a nearby opened window was a pair of children.

"This is it!" I heard Erwin call, bringing our attention to the front. "The day has come for humanity to take another step forward! Now let's show those Titans exactly what we're made of! Open the gate!"

At the order, there was the rattling of chains, the rumble of so much weight being moved, and the rush of air blowing through as soon as even an inch of space was offered between the gate and the ground. Only once the gate was securely open did Erwin give the order: "Forward!"

One by one, the scouts kicked into their horses' sides, spurring them onwards. I locked eyes with Levi, right next to me, just before urging Strider forward. I smiled at Levi as my horse reared back before charging ahead. Levi's horse easily kept pace with mine, and we led our squad onwards, approaching the gate quickly - but not quickly enough. God, I loved this job.

"It's officially begun, the 57th Recon Mission! Scouts, move out!"

I let a smile grace my lips. We had a boy who could turn into a Titan with us, and I was skilled at fighting them, myself. We'd planned endlessly for this, and prepared for every possibility. We were ready. We were.

I wasn't going to let them - my subordinates, my comrades, my superior, and humanity itself - down on this mission. We had trained tirelessly for this; we were ready for whatever fate wanted to throw at us today.

I only wished I could shake the feeling that everything would go wrong.

—

The pounding of the horses' hooves on the stone was thunderous as the Survey Corps moved out, leaving the safety of the walls behind as we headed into Titan territory. Almost immediately, there was a 10-meter class spotted, but that was not our concern - not today. I could hear officers up ahead calling out to the new recruits, telling them to focus not on the titan, but staying in rank.

The formation, now out in the open, began spreading out. In the pursuit of keeping our position secret, all Squads were kept tight in the beginning, and now, we quietly tucked ourselves away in the very back of the formation.

Despite being the safest position, I found myself worrying. Much of the scouting and relaying was to be done by the new recruits. They were still so young. They weren't even adults yet, and here they were, fighting alongside seasoned veterans, and all with no clue as to what the actual destination and goal of this expedition was.

I respected them for their courage, but only hoped we could get all of them out alive today.

"Loaded question," Eren piped up, the first to speak since we left. "And be straight with me: do you think my friends have a shot at taking down a Titan?"

"Really? I should certainly hope so," Olou said with a sneer. "Otherwise, what the hell have they been training for? Now listen and listen well; prepared or not you're all scouts, which means the time is nigh to choke back those fears and-"

He bit his tongue. I rolled my eyes. Who the hell didn't see that one coming?

I bit back my disappointment; I mean, Levi and I had hand-picked this fool and he couldn't even learn not to overdo it while talking on horseback. "Both of you be quiet," I said, looking back at them. "We're not here to talk."

I looked ahead once more, keeping my eyes trained for smoke. Since joining the scouts, I hadn't ever been at this part of the formation before. This idea of long-range scouting really was ingenious; how many scouts could we have saved over these few years if Shadis, while commander, had listened to Erwin and had implemented it earlier?

Engaging with every Titan seemed like a good idea at first, until you realized that so many things could go wrong. Sure, we all wanted to kill as many as we could, to get closer to eradicating them all. But gear could malfunction, someone could fall or miss when killing a Titan, and so much more. And then there were abnormals... And now, there were intelligent ones.

This formation just made more sense. The scouts only had so many soldiers, we needed to protect the ones we had. And so far, this formation seemed to be doing just that. There was little chance that the Special Ops squad would see very many titans today, being so far back in the formation as we were.

Everything seemed to be going well, so far. We would see smoke signals every so often in the distance, and we'd relay the message, but by the time the signals got to us, more often than not the threat would have been taken care of - the Titan killed, or bypassed entirely and left behind. We were in open Titan country now, with rolling fields for as far as the eye could see.

Every once in a while, an abandoned house and clumps of trees would disturb the landscape, remnants of old villages and settlements. It was hard to imagine this having once been where most of humanity lived, once. These farms, these villages, these towns... they'd all been populated.

But not anymore.

Green smoke shot into the sky far ahead of us now, and Levi gave Olou the order to pass the message along. "With pleasure, sir," Olou said, preparing his gun. While he did, a soldier rode up alongside us.

"Reporting, Captains," the soldier called. "An oral message! It appears the right-wing spotters have been wiped out! The early warning network is compromised!"

...huh?

"One of you will need to relay the message down the line," the soldier finished.

I glanced at Levi, but looked back to the soldier right away, summoning the nerve and breath to speak. "Thank you," I said to him. He nodded and veered away, back in the direction he had come from.

"You heard the man, Petra," Levi said. "Go on."

"Sir!" With that, she was off.

It had begun already, just as Erwin predicted. But for an entire wing to be wiped out... All those good men and women...

Regular Titans could not have done this. They would take too long to eat the soldiers they killed and never catch up.

Oh, no. It was definitely not a regular Titan, nor even a group of them.

It could only have been one manned by a person, one with intelligence, one that would hunt our comrades down in a calculated way. The question right now was not who had been lost, but who else we might lose.