Happiness

-What to do, my love? I'm starting to fall apart. I promised myself I will think of you every second of my existence. Then why is that boy replacing you in my mind? I don't want to let you go yet. I can't let you go, Jisung crumbled in the mud in front of a gravestone.

He buried his head between his palms and fall on his knees, crouched in a ball. His forehead touched the ground as his tears stained his face.

-I miss you, my Areum. Though you'd never been mine. You had my heart. What am I without you, Areum? What am I? What am I if I let that boy love me? I'll do what you've done to me and he will end up crying in front of a grave. I don't wish anyone this fate... My Areum... I wish you would be here with me and tell me what to do. You were the wise one, he sobbed in his palms, letting out tears he he'd been holding for years.

-Is that the woman? a voice asked from behind him.

Jisung turned around with puffy eyes and looked up at Felix. -What are you doing here?

-I came after you. I was scared you would... he gulped in fear.

-Go home, Felix... There is nothing to see here. Just my pathetic self, Jisung whiped his face with his sleeve.

-That woman... That was her?

-Lee Areum. Yes, Jisung sniffed.

-Jisung, that woman was my grand grandmother, Felix stated in horror.

Jisung froze in shock as all the dots linked to each other.

Of course she was. Minho was her male version. Why didn't see it sooner?

-I bet you're thinking how cruel I am for pulling such twisted joke, huh? Jisung tried to brush it off.

-You knew her. How? Felix crouched down to look in his eyes.

-We met when she was young. She was engaged. I loved her with my whole being. Then she gave birth to your grandmother and died. I was there. I held her hand until her last breath. Bet you think I'm crazy, he laughed nervously.

-The tattoo... The numbers changed. Why? he looked down at Jisung's wrist.

The scarf untied itself when he collapsed on the ground, letting Felix notice the lower number engraved on it.

-How much time I have left.

-To what?

-To live, Felix! Wake up! he got up and started laughing historically. I'm cursed! So were my aunt and her husband! I am cursed to live forever and die only if someone loves me. How cruel is that? I have been alone for so long that I wished to die and couldn't. You wanna know why? Because my parents killed themselves to higher my number. Because they loved me and they knew that would be the death of me. Everyone around me gets hurt and dies. All because I have no guts to slice my wrist, his voice cracked inside his troath.

-That's why you didn't make it to the date... Felix concluded.

-I was so excited about it and then I saw my numbers. I tried to erase the tattoo with a blade. I didn't mind dying. I just didn't want Minho to see it. I woke up a few hours later. My numbers still there, he explained. I'm going to die, Felix! What's the point in loving someone that will die anyway? he screamed in the freckled's face.

The latter wrapped his arms around Jisung's neck and started crying in his shirt.

-If you were to tell me my parents and grandma would die so soon, I would still have loved them with all my heart. Death doesn't change a thing. We all die anyway. We are meaningless, Jisung. If you spare Minho of this, what would you accomplish? Huh? You're sparing him of happiness. Short-termed happiness is still happiness. For a guy that lived hundreds of years, you think too much of a future that you can't control. I love you, Jisung! You're my friend and I love you! Got it? I won't stop loving you and neither will Minho! God dammit, just accept already that you are part of the family! he yelled, his whole body shaking in Jisung's embrace.

-But-

-No! Stop it! We will find a way. I'll ask Seungmin. He's smart. We'll find a way to save you. Just please... Don't push us away, he begged with his eyes.

-Why do you believe me? It's the most insane shit anyone could say.

-Because I trust you blindly. I may make a fool of myself, but I don't care. I trust you.

-Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want to be seen as a social case. I need them to behave like they usually do.

-Okay, Felix nodded. Only if you come home with me.

-I will, Jisung smiled shortly, more tears building in his eyes.

Minho's apartment

-You piece of shit! Where have you been? Chan started shouting the moment he saw Jisung entering the apartment.

-Hyung, I love you, but SHUT THE FUCK UP! Felix snapped.

Chan widened his eyes in fear. He had never seen the boy like that. He fucked up bad.

Felix had his arm around Jisung's, flashing a reassuring smile at him every minute.

-What happened? Minho came rushing.

-I lied to you. Jisung was the one that fought those thieves. He saved me and told me to take credit for you. He didn't want to embarrass myself in front of you, guys, Felix said. He was here with me to tell me how sorry he was for missing the date. You two should talk alone, hyung, Felix looked at Minho.

He let go of Jisung which resulted in the latter gripping on his sleeve, afraid to be separated from the younger.

-It will be okay, Felix caressed his cheek. I'll be right next room.

Felix went to his room, dragging Chan with him and closed the door, giving the couple the privacy they needed.

Jisung couldn't bring himself to look up. He was afraid of Minho's expression.

The latter stepped forward and whipped the corners of Jisung's eyes with his thumbs.

-You cried... his voice sounded like he just heard the most heartbreaking news.

Jisung tried to maintain his composure, but hearing someone acknowledging his crying made him break out in tears.

-Hey there... Minho helped Jisung sit down on the couch. What happened?

-I'm sorry I made you mad... I'm... I'm sorry for everything, he cried in his palms.

-I'm not mad, he placed a kiss on the top of his lover's head.

-You're not? Jisung looked up, a tear sliding down the fold of his nose.

-Of course not, Minho caught the tear with his thumb. I'm glad you are alright. I thought something bad might have happened to you.

-I tried... I tried cutting myself, he admitted.

-Because of me?

-No! Because... Because I can't be the man you deserve. Because I will eventually break your heart. Because I was scared. Falling for you meant letting go of a very comfortable part of myself.

-Jisung, Minho went on his knees in front of Jisung to force the latter to look at him. I want you just the way you are. I fell for you when you treated us all like shit, he tried to joke to light up the mode. I love you, Jisung! Okay? I don't want you to change or let go of a part of yourself for me. I know you loved someone else before me. It's fine. She's part of you and I will learn to love her as well. This "don't mention your ex" is bullshit. Those people made us who we are. And the right person should not try to conceal those parts, those scars. It's alright to be scared. I am too. But we can do this together. Only if you talk to me and actually tell me what bothers you. I will be right next to you. You have a problem, we'll solve it. You are hurt, I'll hold your hand at the doctor. You need therapy, I will come wirh you. You're sick, I'll buy you pills. Whatever it is, Jisung... I will help.

-How can you be so kind? Jisung cried even harder.

-I'm kind to the people that deserve my kindness. And you, Jisung, deserve all the good in the world, he took a napkin and started cleaning the other's face.

-I love you! I love you, Lee Minho! I want to be loved by you.

-You've been for a while, Sungie, Minho smiled.

Jisung threw himself in Minho's arms and kept crying until he ran out of tears and fell asleep with his head resting on his lover's shoulder.

Changbin's apartment

Changbin was woken up by the doorbell.

He opened the door and met with a teary Felix.

-Felix? How did you know where I live? he asked confused.

-I asked Jeongin.

-Come in! Is something wrong? he asked a bit aback.

-It's just... A lot happened tonight, he paced in circles, gasping for air.

Changbin noticed his struggle to breathe and pulled the younger in a hug, tightening his grip around his abdomen.

-Breathe, Felix. With me, alright? Inhale exhale. Good, he nodded. Keep going, he said scared before pressing a sweet kiss on the freckled's shoulder. Whatever happened, you can talk to me. I'll make some tea. Or we can just watch TV. Whatever you want, you name it. Just don't scare me like this ever again. I need you, he buried his head in the crock of the younger's neck in embarrassment.

-What kind of tea do you have? Felix managed to say.

-I have some insane flavours from Thailand. You ought to try them all, he smiled excited.

He took Felix's hand and led him to the kitchen where they talked about the most irrelevant and ridiculous stuff.

But they smiled all the way through the night. And that mattered the most.

Those flying moments of happiness.

___________________________I poured up my heart in this chapter.

I couldn't write a thing all night and I used this sadness in this chapter.

I hope you liked it!

Thank you for reading!