31 - Someone Like You

Before I know it, it's New Year's Eve. Kurogiri is making me go up to the roof to watch a famous fireworks display in a nearby district that we'll be able to see well tonight. I don't have the energy to protest.

But when I emerge into the chill night air on the roof, only Dabi is there, staring out at the fireworks with his dark coat flapping around him and the wind ruffling his black hair. My heart leaps into my mouth. Dabi. The moonlight shines down on him, casting his silhouette in a silvery glow. I start to climb back down the ladder-

He turns and looks at me, his sapphire eyes blazing in the darkness like a beacon.

"Wait."

I step back out onto the roof. I swallow, my mouth suddenly drier than a desert. Kurogiri tricked me... I bet there was never a firework show... Damn it.

"Dabi-"

"Let me say this."

His voice is hoarse and cracked, like this is hard for him. I wait a solid, safe distance away from him and let him speak.

"It's not fair. It's not fair that you broke up with me, Tomura. You never even told me why. Don't try telling me it's because of Kurogiri. I know it's more than that. Isn't... isn't the least thing you can give me a reason why?"

I won't hold the truth back. Not anymore. He's right; he deserves to know the truth. I can give him that, at least.

"It scared me. We were moving quickly. And - and..."

He waits for me to gather my nerves. I breathe in and out. The numbness is fading, replaced by a feeling so intense I can barely breathe. But I'll give him this truth, this last piece of my heart. Even if it means I have nothing left, no secrets to hide behind. For him, I'll bare my soul. Even if what we have is over.

"Someone like you can't be happy with someone like me."

There it is. I said it. Somehow, every word loosens the noose that's been slowly tightening around my throat and I can breathe a little easier.

"Someone like you deserves better. Someone who can help you, who can show you light instead of darkness. And me... I never deserved you. I don't deserve that..."

I can't keep going. I can't keep talking. I feel like I'm going to fall onto my knees. My hands are shaking. Dabi's voice is deathly quiet, making my blood run ice cold in my veins.

"Why do you get to decide what's good for me? Why do you get to break my heart and say that it's because you want me to be happy? Why can't you say what you're really feeling - that you're afraid I would break your heart, so you broke mine first."

Doesn't he understand that it broke my heart too? That I feel it cracking and shattering inside me and slicing me up with every breath I take?

"There are things I haven't told you too. And what's all this shit about 'someone like me'? What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

He's getting angrier and angrier. He stalks closer to me, until I can't back away any more without falling off the roof. His beautiful sapphire eyes blaze with emotion, a beacon in the blackness all around us.

"My name wasn't always Dabi, you know. My name used to be Touya. Touya Todoroki. My father burned me over and over again in an attempt to draw out power I didn't have... After years of that abuse and agony, I finally faked my death and left my family behind. My skin was so ruined and burnt that I had to staple someone else's skin over it to stop myself from falling apart.

"I didn't know what happiness was. Not with that other person I was in a relationship with. I didn't tell you, did I? She cheated on me and left me. When I first came here, I annoyed you all the time because it was the only way I could think of to get your attention. To make 'someone like you' feel something, anything for 'someone like me'. Even if that feeling was hatred."

We're both breathing hard now. I had no idea. I had no idea that Dabi's past ran so deep, that his wounds and scars were as painful as mine.

"This doesn't change it. This - this can't change it. I can't get you back-"

He puts his face so close to mine that our breath mingles and his hot breath caresses my cold skin.

"Why the hell not?!"

"Because I fucked up! I fucked up big time, but I broke up with you because you deserve someone better than me! I'm not good enough-"

You're not good enough, Tenko. Look at yourself. You destroy everything you touch.

My shout falls to a whisper. "I destroy everything... everything I touch falls apart. I couldn't let myself destroy you..."

He grabs my face in his hands, forcing me to meet his burning stare.

"There you go again! Shigaraki, what ever made you think I'd be happier without you? What ever made you think that I would feel like I could fucking breathe without you? I'm miserable. I feel nothing but pain and emptiness.

"Don't you know that I love you?"