110

-November 20th 2001-

   Me,Eliana and Joey enter Monica and Chandler's.Joey and Cassius are eating potato chips.

Monica:Hey what are you doing?.You gotta save room you’ve got almost an entire turkey to eat.

Cassius:Let me explain to you how the human body works.I have to warm my stomach first.Eating chips is like stretching.

Monica:All right.

Joey:Don’t worry Tribbiani's never get full.

Will:I actually know what you’re talking about.I’m here to tell you something my friend you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.

Cassius:"To Monica"?Who the hell is this guy?.

Monica:Will.From high school.

Cassius:Hi I'm Cassius.

Joey:Oh hey.

Monica:"To Will".Joey.

Will:Hello.

Tabitha:Will.

Will:Tabitha?.

Tabitha:"Teases".Oh I thought you wouldn't remember me with being pregnant with Joey and I's second child.

Will:Wow Monica said you were married and had a kid and baby on the way but I thought she was joking.

Tabitha:"Laughs".Nope.But I can still kick your butt after the baby.

Joey:"Smiles".Thats my girl.

Eliana:Dada.Up?."Reaches arms up".

Joey picks up Eliana.

Tabitha:Will this is Eliana.Eliana can you say hi to Will?.

Eliana:Hi Will.

Will:Hi.

Ross:"Enters".Will.

Will:Ross.

Ross:Hey,hey you came.Man you look incredible.Hot stuff.

They hug and Ross realizes what he said.

Ross:Hot stuff?.

Will:It’s good to see you man.

Ross:Yeah you too.Man so,so what are you up to?.

Will:I’m a commodities broker.

Ross:Really?.Yeah that,that sounds interesting.

Will:Yeah it’s not.But I’m rich and thin.

Ross:Oh.Man I don’t think I’ve seen you since uh Lance Davis graduation party.

Will:That was such a fun night.

Ross:Yeah.It would’ve been good if we had gotten in but still real fun.

Will:Yeah.

Ross:Yeah.

Will:God we were lame back then.Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?.

Ross:"Laughs".Yeah.

Will:So what do you,what do you do now?.

Ross:So how long are you in town?.

   Joey puts Eliana in her high chair and we sit in chairs next to her as Rachel enters carrying a baking dish.

Rachel:Hi.

Monica:Hey sweetie.Oh good."Takes the baking dish".

Rachel:"Sees Will".Oh my God Monica who is that?.

Monica:That’s Will from high school.

Rachel:Oh.I do not remember him.Wow. He's really got that sexy,smoldering thing going on.

Will is angrily staring at Rachel.

Rachel:Oh my God he’s…Look at the way he’s just staring at me.I think he’s trying to mouth something to me but I can’t make it out.

Will:"Mouths".I hate you.

Monica:Okay dinner’s ready.

Chandler:Good game.

Phoebe:Yeah.

Chandler:Yeah.Solid effort.Solid effort.

Tabitha:Oh so who won?.

P:Green Bay,C:Detroit.

Tabitha,Monica:What?.

Phoebe:Well the Lions technically won but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay…Mermen.

   They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.

Rachel:Hi.Will right?.

Will:Right.

Rachel:Hi.I’m Rachel Green.

Will:Oh I-I remember you.

Rachel:Really?!.Aren’t you sweet.I gotta tell you though I am,I am having the hardest time placing you.Oh,oh hang on.Did we um did we fool around at Lance Davis’ graduation party?.

Will:You are unbelievable.

Rachel:Thank you.

Monica:Uh Rachel?,Rachel why don’t you sit here?."Next to Cas".And Will you sit way over there.

   Monica motions to the other side of the table and then sets something on the table and removes the cover.

Cassius:That’s it?!.Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem.At least give me a challenge.

Monica:"Laughs".This is Chandler’s chicken.This is the turkey."Sets down huge turkey".

Cassius:Oh.How,how big is that?.

Monica:About nineteen pounds.

Joey:"To Tabitha".It’s like me when I was born.

Rachel:All right who would uh like some yams?.Will?.

Will:Oh you’d like that wouldn’t ya?.

Rachel:What?....Oh y’know what?.Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table?. The smell is just yuck.

Will:"Sneeze talks".Typical.

Rachel:I’m sorry.What?.

Will:I said it was typical.Typical of you Rachel Green,Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land."Does fake hair flip".

Cassius:"To Monica".Seriously who is this guy?.

Rachel:Um I’m sorry.Do you,do you have a problem with me?.

Will:I don’t know?.Do I?,Do I?.

Phoebe:I think you do.

Monica:"To Rachel".Apparently you were um a little mean to him in high school.

Will:A little mean?.You made my life miserable.

Rachel:I’m,I’m.I had no idea.I’m sorry.I…

Will:Well you should be.Screw it.Bring on the yams.

Monica:Oh Will.But you,you’ve worked so hard…

Will:"Yells".Yams!.

Monica:Okay.

   Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.

Rachel:Uh Will um I just want to say that I’m real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school…

Will:Oh it wasn’t just me.We had a club.

Rachel:You had a club?!.

Will:That’s right The I Hate Rachel Green Club.

Rachel:Whoa.My God.So what you all just joined together to hate me?!.Who else was in this club?.

Will:Me and Ross."Points at Ross".

Ross:No need to point she knows who Ross is.

Rachel:So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?.

Will:Yes he was.

Will holds up his hand for a high-five.

Ross:No.No.

Rachel:So who else was in this club?.

Ross:Uh actually there,there was also that exchange student from Thailand but I-I don’t think he,he knew what it was.

Rachel:So Ross we went out for two years and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.

Will:You went out with her?!.We had a pact.

Ross:That was in high school.It’s not like it was binding forever.

Will:Then why did it have the word eternity in it?.

Rachel:Okay Monica did you know about this?!.

Monica:I swear I didn’t.

Tabitha:"To Ross,Will".Hey. Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?.

Ross,Will:Yeah.

Monica:Hm a little relieved I gotta say.

Tabitha:Yeah.

Ross:Look Rach I-I’m sorry okay?.I-I was a stupid kid okay?.The only reason I joined…

Will:Co-founded.

Ross:Co-founded...Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didn’t handle it very well.But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.

Will:Uh except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.

Rachel:Okay.So what?.You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?.

Will:Well we did a little more than that.

Ross:No,no!,No,no.No,no.

Tabitha:What?!,What else did you do?.

Will:We started a rumor.

Rachel:What rumor?.

Phoebe:Oh come on Will.Just take off your shirt and tell us!.

Rachel:Ross!.

Ross:It was no big deal.We,we said that the rumor was...that umm…you had both…male and female reproductive parts.

Rachel:What?!.

Will:That’s right.We said your parents flipped a coin decided to raise you as a girl but you still had a hint of a penis.

Tabitha,Rachel:"Shocked".Oh my God!.

Monica:You started that?!.

Rachel:What?!.You heard that?!."Goes stands behind Cas".

Monica:Everyone at our school heard it.

Tabitha:Not me.

Chandler:Everybody at my school heard it. You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?!.

Rachel:Oh no!.Oh my God!.This is all making so much sense to me now.This is why Adam Carter wouldn’t go out with me. This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region."Motions to her breasts".

Cassius has turned around to look at her.

Ross:Actually Billy Tratt is gay now.So,so that one’s not really our fault.

Rachel:Monica how come you never told me this?!.

Monica:I thought it might be true.And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.

Rachel:Cas stop staring.There’s nothing there.It’s not true.

Cassius:I’m afraid I’m gonna need proof.

Rachel:Oh!.

Rachel hits him and storms out.