61

-February 26th 1998-

   At Monica and Rachel's Me,Joey, and Rachel are standing at the counter.Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.

Monica:Joey let me ask you a question.What does this light switch do?.

Joey:Oh nothing.

Monica:Didn’t it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?.

Joey:I know what it did! Nothing.

Monica:They wouldn’t have put it there if it didn’t do something.How can you not care?.

Joey:Like this."Shrugs".

Rachel:Well here’s another question for ya. Uh do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?.

Joey:Sure.It flushes it.

Rachel:Okay good.Now that since you know when you come over would you mind actually using it?.

Tabitha:Come on Joey.Are you serious?,You flush at our place.

   Right then Chandler enters the apartment and Janice is following him.

Chandler:Hello.

Joey:Hey."Sees Janice".Ah!.

Janice screams in surprise.

Rachel:Guess who we ran into today?!.

Monica:Janice?!

Tabitha:"Sarcastically".How'd you guess?.

Chandler:Isn’t this amazing?.

Monica:How have you been?.

Janice:Oh well I’m divorced.

Phoebe:Oh wow.

Janice:Yeah I’m riding the alimony pony."Laughs".

Joey,Tabitha:And there it is.

Janice:I just came up to say Hi,Hi."To Chandler".And you sweetie I’ll see you tonight.

Chandler:Okay.Bye.

Janice:Bye.

Chandler:Bye.

Janice:Bye.

Chandler:Bye.

Janice:Bye.

Chandler:B-bye!.

Janice:Bye-bye.

Chandler:Bye.

Chandler finally closes the door on her.

Chandler:I can’t stand the woman.

   Phoebe looks shocked as Me and Joey are relieved.

Phoebe:What?!.I thought you were crazy about her.

Chandler:Yeah I know but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love?.Like her voice,her laugh,her personality well they’re all back.Y’know?. And she’s picked up like nine new ones.

Joey:So what are you doing bringing her here?!.There’s people here!.

Chandler:Don’t worry about it.I’m taking care of it tonight.

   Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.

Rachel:You are not.You have never been able to break up with her.

Chandler:Well I don’t have to break up with her this time.We’re not involved.I’m going to do a pre-emptive strike.I’m going to end it with her before it starts.My ass is like frozen."Closes the fridge".

Joey:Yeah try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes.

Everyone except me look around and then back at Joey.

Joey:I’m telling ya.

Tabitha:"Groans".Ive said i was sorry a billion times Joey!.

Joey:I know.

Monica:What happened?

Tabitha:"Blushes".N-nothing.

   Phoebe and Rachel understand something sexaul happened and they giggle giving me and my husband looks.

Tabitha:If you guys are trying to picture what happened.You can buy porn in stores.

   Chandler then laughs at my comment towards the girls.

****************************************

   Me,Joey and Rachel enter Monica and Rachel's apartment.

Rachel:Hey.

Joey:Hey.

   We see a lot if appliances plugged into the wall.

Tabitha:What’s up?.

Monica:This switch thing has been driving me crazy.So I turned it off and checked every outlet.Now four of them don’t work. Which means one of them has to be controlled by the switch.So I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that,that make noise so that way when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.

Joey:"To Rachel".I bet I stopped listening before you did.

Rachel:Y’know you,you also could’ve used uh lamps and then followed the light.

Monica:Yeah well I’m using noise.Okay.All right.So is everybody ready?.Here we go."Flips on the switch".

   As I am standing by Joey I hear him begin to him like a microwave.

Monica:I hear something!,I hear something!.Where is it?.

   Me and Joey pretend to look around as I try not to laugh.

Rachel:It’s coming from Joey.

Phoebe:Oh my God that’s so freaky.Turn him off!.

   At that moment I begin to laugh hysterically and Me and Joey leave to our apartment.When we get there I hug Joey.

Tabitha:That was hilarious.

Joey:I can tell you thought so."Smirks".

Tabitha:Food and movie night?.

Joey:"Grins".I'll make the food!.

   Joey rushes to the kitchen making me grin as I go to our TV and look for a movie to watch.

*****************************************-

March 19th 1998-

   Me and Joey enter Chandler and Cassius's apartment to see Chandler sitting in a chair.

Joey:Hey ah.Our shower is broken...Could we use yours?.

Chandler:Yeah but no funny buisness.

Tabitha:Scouts honor.

    Soon Me and Joey are showering and he is eating some food like he always does in the shower when we hear a knock on the door.

Joey:Yeah?.

We hear someone enter the bathroom.

Phoebe:It’s me.It’s Phoebe.Listen there’s something in here I want to eat what,what smells so good?.

   Joey sticks his head out of the shower curtain as I continue to wash my hair.

Joey:Is it the shampoo?.It’s guava.

Phoebe:No.

Joey:Oh.Wait,wait.

   Joey grabs his half eaten sandwich and sticks his head back out to talk to Phoebe.

Joey:Is it my bologna sandwich?.

Phoebe:Yes.Yes.Yes.I can’t believe it.The baby wants bologna.Maybe he wants me to eat meat?.I can’t eat meat.

Joey:Oh wait,wait.

Joey grabs his uneaten Pickle he had sitting next to his sandwich and sticks his head back out cof the curtain.

Joey:Maybe it’s a pickle?!.

*****************************************

   At Central Perk Me,Joey,Chandler,Cassius,Monica and Rachel are here.Rachel is writing something on a pad and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.

Chandler:What are you writing?.

Rachel:Well Joshua’s coming in tomorrow and since I don’t have the guts to ask him out I’m going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.

Chandler:Oh yeah?."Grabs the pad reading it".Joshua give me a call sometime,guys like you never go out of style what did you throw away?.

Ross and Emily enter.

Chandler:Hi guys.

Everyone:Hey.

Tabitha:Hey what have you guys been up too?.

Ross:Oh we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.

Chandler:Without me?!.

Emily:My uncle dragged us there.But it actually it turned out to be really interesting.

Ross:Yeah.

Emily:They were so ornate and beautiful I mean look at that."Shows a doorknob she has".

Monica:I don’t know how museums work in England but here you’re not supposed to take stuff.

Emily:I uh I got it from the gift shop.They have really lax security there.

Chandler is shocked as I hold a laugh.

Emily:It’s a joke.

We all laugh.

Ross:Bye."Kisses Emily".

Emily:Right I’ve got to be off I’ll see ya. Buh-bye then."Leaves".

Joey:Wow.You guys seem to be having a good time.

Ross:Oh yeah she’s,she’s amazing.And,and she’s so much fun and Y’know what?.When I’m with her I’m fun.I even signed up for helicopter classes...She’s leaving in two days I don’t have to do it.

Monica:Oh no two days you must be bummed.

Ross:Yeah she’s got to go back to London. But you know what?.I’ve been prepared for this from the start.We both knew we had two weeks together and that’s it.Y’know.

Cassius:Hey that’s what all my relationships are like.

Chandler:Yes but in Ross’s case they both know in two weeks that’s it.

Phoebe enters.

Ross:Pheebs!.

Everyone:Hey!.

Ross:"Rubbing her belly".Hello,Hello.

Phoebe:"Angered".Yes.I know,I know.Yeah so the baby is totally craving meat.This afternoon I tried tricking it I made it a soy burger to make it think it was getting meat y’know?.And I got nauseous.

Chandler:Maybe that’s because soy burgers suck.

Phoebe:Being pregnant is tough on your tummy.

Joey:Hey but at least you got that cool pregnant lady glow.

Phoebe:That’s sweat.You throw up all morning you’ll have that glow too.

*****************************************-

March 21st 1998-

   At Chandler and Cassius's Phoebe is busy making a sandwich.

Joey:Oh what you got there?.

Phoebe:Pastrami.

Joey:Oh-ho-ho yeah.Hey.Y’know what goes good with that?.

Phoebe:Hmm corn beef.

Joey:Oh I was gonna say bologna but that’s much better.How about a little of that smoked turkey?.

Phoebe:Okay.

Joey:"Looking at the sandwich".Oh mama. Uh when,when is the baby due?.

Phoebe:Six months.

Joey:Ugh.Now if a cow should die of natural causes I can have one of those right?.

Phoebe:Not if I get there first.

Tabitha:Joey I think it's very sweet of you laying off the meat for Pheebs.

Joey:"Smirks".Oh really?.

Tabitha:Yes...Our shower is fixed now by the way."Smiles".