10

-May 18th 1995-

We are all at Central Perk and Ross is showing pictures of Ben to us.

Ross:And here's little Ben nodding off...

Monica:Awww look at Aunt Monica's little boy!.

Phoebe:Oh look he's got Ross's haircut!

Rachel:Oh let me see!."Grabs picture".Oh God is he just the sweetest thing?.You must just want to kiss him all over!.

Ross:"Quietly".That would be nice.

Chandler:Pfft.

Rachel:Pardon?.

Chandler:Nothing just a little extra air in my mouth.Pffft.Pffffffft.

Me and Chandler walk over to where Joey is seated.Joey is looking at his check.

Joey:Hey Chan can you help me out here?.I promise I'll pay you back.

Chandler:Oh yeah right ok...inlcuding the waffles last week you now owe me...17 jillion dollars.

Joey:I will really.I'll pay you back this time.

Chandler:"Sighs".And where's this money coming from?.

Chandler hands the money to Joey and Joey answers him.

Joey:Well...I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U.Med School with some...research.

Ross:What kind of research?.

Joey:Oh just you know....science.

Tabitha:Science...Yeah I think I've heard of that.

Everyone looks over at us.

Joey:"Sighs".It's a fertility study.

Rachel laughs at Joey's idea.

Monica:Oh Joey please tell me you're only donating your time.

Joey:Alright come on you guys it's not that big a deal.Really...I mean I just go down there every other day and...make my contribution to the project.Hey,hey but at the end of two weeks I get seven hundred dollars.

Ross:Hey.

Phoebe:Wow ooh you're gonna be making money hand over fist!.

Tabitha:I think your very thoughtful Joey."Smiles".

Joey:Really?.

Tabitha:Yes really.

A week later at Monica and Rachel's apartment Monica and Phoebe are preparing for a barbecue for Rachel's birthday.

Monica:Ok we got the cole slaw,We got the buns...

Phoebe:We've got the ground up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys ew..."Hands meat to Monica".

Chandler and Joey enter with charcoal.

Chandler:"In deep voice".Men are here.

Joey:We make fire.Cook meat.

Chandler:Then put out fire by peeing no get invited back.

Monica,Phoebe:Ew!.

I sigh as Monica speaks up.

Monica:Oh Joey Melanie called said she's gonna be late.

Joey:Oh,Ok.

A feeling of jealousy comes over me at the mention of Melanie.

Phoebe:So how are things going with you two?.Is she becoming your...special someone?

Joey:I don't know she's uh....she's pretty great.

Monica:Yeah?.What does she think of your little science project?.

Joey:What you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?

Monica:Man's got a point.

Joey:Well the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.

Chandler:Crazy bitch.

Joey:Yeah well I still got a week left to go in the program and according to the rules if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any...ersonal experiments if you know what I mean.

Tabitha:Joey...we always know what you mean....Especially me you horn dog.

*****************************************

Chandler and Joey are making the fire as Me,Monica and Phoebe are inside.Ross enters carrying luggage.

Phoebe:Hey.

Monica:Hey.

Ross:Hey.

Phoebe sees his bags of luggage.

Phoebe:How long did you think this barbecue was gonna last?.

Ross:I'm going to China.

Phoebe:Jeez you say one thing and...

Monica:You're going to China?.

Ross:Yeah I-it's for the museum.Someone found a bone,We want the bone but they don't want us to have the bone so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the bo...i-it's a whole big bone thing.

I laugh at the dirtiness of the way it sounds.

Tabitha:Sounds very boney...

Ross:"Sighs".Anyway I'm gonna be gone for like uh...like a week so uh if you wanna reach me y-you can't.So here's my itinerary."Hands a sheet of paper to Monica".Um...here's a picture of me..."Hands it to Monica".

Phoebe:Oh let me see!."Takes the picture".

Ross:"To Monica,Tabitha".Could you take it to Carol's every now and then and show it to Ben just so he doesn't forget me?.

Monica,Tabitha:Yeah.

Phoebe puts the picture of Ross up to her face..

Phoebe:Hi Ben.I'm your father.I am...the head.Aaaaaahhhh...."Puts picture down".

Phoebe sees Ross and I staring at her.

Phoebe:Alright this barbecue is gonna be very fun.

Ross:Hey is Rachel here?.Um I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.

Monica:Oh no she's out having drinks with Carl.

Ross:Oh...Hey who's Carl?.

Monica:You know that guy she met at the coffeehouse.

Ross:No.

Phoebe:Oh well see there's this guy she met at the...

Ross:At the coffeehouse right.

Phoebe:So you do know who he is!."Laughs".

Ross stares at Phoebe.

Phoebe:Sorry.

Ross:Ok I'm gonna go say goodbye to the guys.

Phoebe:Oh hey you know what?.Tell them that bone story.

Ross goes outisde on the balcony and I follow him.

Ross:Hi.

Joey:Hey!.

Chandler:Hey!.

Ross:"Sighs".I have to go to China.

Joey:The country?.

Ross:No,no this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront.Do you guys know who Carl is?.

Chandler:Uh let's see...Alvin...Simon... Theodore....no.

Ross:Well Rachel's having drinks with him tonight.

Joey:Oh no!.How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!.

Chandler:Forget about her.

Joey:He's right, man.Please.Move on.Go to China.Eat Chinese food.

Tabitha:Course there they just call it food.

Ross:Yeah...I guess.I don't...I don't know. Alright just...just give her this for me ok?."Gives Chandler a gift for Rachel".

Joey:Listen buddy we're just looking out for you.

Ross:I know.

Joey:We want you to be happy.And I may only have a couple beers in me but...I love you man."Hugs him".

Chandler:I'm still on my first.I just think you're nice.

*****************************************

We are at Monica and Rachel's apartment with Melanie Joey's new girlfriend who I dislike and we are at there with Joey,Chandler,Monica,Phoebe and Rachel.

Melanie:Anyway that's when me and my friends started this whole fruit basket business.We call ourselves The Three Basketeers.

Joey:Like the three musketeers only with fruit.

Chandler:"Sarcastically".Ooooh.

Monica:"Gets up".Ok how does everybody like their burgers?.

Rachel:Oh,no,no,no.Presents first.Food later."Walks into living room".

We all follows Rachel to the living room.And Monica and I pull Joey aside.

Monica:Hey hold on there tiger.How's it going?.How you holding up?.

Joey:Well not so good.She definitely thinks tonight is the night we're gonna...complete the transaction if you know what I...

Me and Monica roll our eyes.

Joey:Then you do.Heh,heh.

Monica:So uh have you ever thought about being there for her?.

Joey:What do you mean?.

Monica:You know just be there for her.

Joey looks confused at Monica.

Joey:Not following you.

Monica:Think about it.

The three of us walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts.Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.

Rachel:Ok I'm guessing this is from...

Melanie smiles and I just roll my eyes.

Rachel:Well thank you Melanie.

Chandler:"Pointing out a gift".Ok this one right here is from me.

Rachel:"Picks it up".Ok...ah it's light..."Shakes it"...it rattles...it's..."Opens it".Travel Scrabble!.Oooohhh thank you!.

Rachel gives it back to him.Chandler looks hurt and Rachel picks up another gift.

Rachel:This one's from Joey...feels like a book.Thinks it's a book...feels like a book. And..."Opens it"....it's a book!

Phoebe:Oh it's Dr.Seuss!.

Joey:"To Rachel".That book got me through some tough times.

Melanie:There is a little child inside this man!.

Tabitha:"Sarcastically".Yes the doctors say if they remove it he'll die.

Rachel picks up the next gift.

Rachel:Who's this from?.

Chandler:Oh that's Ross's.

Rachel:Oh..."Opens it"..."Sees it is a pin"Oh my God.He remembered.

Phoebe:Remembered what?.

Rachel:It was like months ago.We were walking by this antique store and I saw this pin in the window and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl.Oh I can't believe he remembered!.

Chandler:Well sure but can you play it on a plane?."Pats his Travel Scrabble game".

Phoebe:Oh it's so pretty.This must have cost him a fortune.

Monica:I can't believe he did this.

Chandler:Come on Ross?.Remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?.

We all look at Chandler and we watch as he realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.

Rachel:What did you just say?.

Chandler:"Panicked".Ahem...um...Crystal duck.

Rachel:No,no,no....the um the...love part?.

Chandler:"Stutters".F-hah....flennin....

Rachel:Oh....my God.

Chandler:"Rubbing his temples".Oh no,no,no,no,no....

Joey:"Pats Chandler on the leg".That's good just keep rubbing your head.That'll turn back time.

I internally laugh at Joey's comment.